Monster

In honour of Jonas Gustavsson's first career NHL shootout, below is the finest save, in video game form, I have ever seen ...

What a monster.

After Friday night's abomination, Vesa Toskala is dead to me. Welcome to your Gustavsson years.

It's all Mathematics

A logical, clear, and concise explanation of why Canada will be golden in 2010 ...

Do you believe?

Also: pray, to whomever it is you pray to, for the Monster. And the horrid Toronto Raptors, too. And, hell, while we're at it, for Roy Halladay's misguided soul.

Press Row

The Toronto Maple Leafs don't have first-round draft picks in 2010 and 2011. You know what else they don't have? Internet access on press row. Apologies about the #LiveBlogFail. It happens, yo.

Three years after writing my first blog post here at Sports And The City, I'd made "the show." For one night, I was out of the basement, and on the biggest stage. Without you, three readers, it wouldn't have been possible. Thank you.

While I hate to inundate you with another list of thoughts, Elliotte Friedman style, I'm left with no choice. Without access to the magical world wide web, I was forced to actually use a pen, and write. I know; the humanity. In all seriousness, thanks to Jonathan Sinden, interactive media guru at MLSE, and operator of the Leafs' twitter account, who invited me to The Foster Hewitt Media Gondola last night. It was a fantastic experience, and an honour to be up there.

Without further ado:

• All you really need to know is that before puck drop I met LeafspaceMonika. She put her arm around me, and it was a dream come true. I may have told her that I'm in love with her, I don't really remember. The rest of the night really doesn't matter, because I'd already won.
• I hate Ryan Miller.
• The Leafs actually came out strong to start the game. They were the better team in the first half of the first period. It might have been the drugs, but I'm pretty sure Toronto came out flying. If it wasn't for Ryan Miller, it's 2-0 Toronto 10 minutes into the game.
• Fuck Ryan Miller.
• I had to make an actual conscious effort not to cheer while in the press box. It was more difficult than I thought.
• Buffalo came alive to close out the first, but Jonas Gustavsson was there to match Miller. The Monster is great in tight, and moves graciously across the crease. (That's what she said.)
• The highlight of the first period was Wayne Primeau slamming Derek Roy into the boards in the Leafs' zone. I love watching Derek Roy get slammed into the boards.
• As I tweeted in the first period, watching Phil Kessel turned me on. I'm quite certain I was making Jonathan uncomfortable, but the situation was beyond my control.
• The pretzels flow freely up in press row. The pretzels were making me thirsty.
• No sign of Howard Berger. Remember, he's paid to write about the games, not watch them.
• According to my man Jonathan, it was Brian Burke who said the Leafs have to reach out to bloggers. Forget about the team's record, and forget about how they do the rest of the way while he's managing the team; the Brian Burke era has been an unmitigated success.
• The best part about being on press row might be the stats sheet you're handed at the end of each period. Your homework, it's done for you. You know exactly how many minutes too long Jason Blake has been on the ice, and just how poorly the Leafs are doing in the faceoff circle. I certainly appreciated it.
• The Leafs came out strong, again, to start the second period. And I'm quite certain the drugs had worn off by this point.
• Matt Stajan and Phil Kessel botched a 2-on-0 early in the period. Kessel would probably have been better off on his own.
• More Leafs fans need to own Niklas Hagman jerseys. Do you own one? Let me know, so I can give you the props you deserve.
• I hope last night is the last time Ian White and Luke Schenn play together. Awful.
• Seriously, fuck Ryan Miller. He is the truth. He made tremendous saves on the penalty kill against both Hagman and Mikhail Grabovski. Buffalo is lucky to have him.
• I thought Mike Komisarek played a strong game. He kept his shit simple, which is what he wasn't doing prior to his stint on the disabled list.
• Phil Kessel is an underrated passer. Marc Savard didn't make Phil Kessel. Phil Kessel made Marc Savard.
• I could hear Dennis Bayak calling the game on AM 640 from my seat. I found this rather exciting.
• Jason Blake: enter the zone, circle the net, put a useless shot on goal. Rinse. Repeat.
• I'm sorry to say, but the crowds at the Air Canada Centre are nothing short of brutal. I thought about starting a "Go Leafs Go!!!!1" chant, but that type of thing is frowned upon in the press box.
• Did I mention I hate Ryan Miller?
• The Leafs surrendered a goal 20 seconds into the third period. I blame Ron Wilson. Face it: it's convenient, and easy. Fire him. And hire Wayne Gretzky. Don't deny it, it'd be fun.
• Is there any possible way Jason Blake makes the U.S. Olympic team? I'm thinking not, as Wilson probably wants to get away from him for a couple of weeks.
• Carl Gunnarsson didn't return for third period action after suffering a shoulder injury. The irony of Komisarek returning and Gunnarsson getting injured is delicious. We gain one, and lose another. Almost as delicious as the sushi platinum seat holders like Daoust love to eat.
• Ryan Miller is always at the top of his crease. He cuts his angles like nobody's business. I fucking hate Ryan Miller.
• I'm quite certain I saw Luke Schenn on the point on the power play in the third period. I'd like to see more of this. It can only help his development. Also: mad respect for "Luke's Troops." Canadian serviceman and servicewoman deserve all the standing ovations they can get.
• It was a listless third period from the Maple Leafs. Outshooting your opponents with absolutely nothing to show for it, night in and night out, has to take its toll.
• There's no way Lee Stempniak is a Maple Leaf next season after his contract expires.
• The cat-calls on Jonas Gustavsson late in the third period were completely uncalled for. When did Toronto fans become the epitome of douchebaggery? What are we, Boston?
• Lindy Ruff calling a timeout in a 3-0 game with 2:54 left on the clock was straight rude. He purposely did it to prolong our misery for an extra 30 seconds, that bastard.
• Ryan Miller finished with a shutout. The silver lining: I didn't pay a penny to take in the game.
• I'll be honest, when Jonathan took off for a few minutes during the game, I hollered "67!!!!1" a couple of times, at the top of my lungs. Yet no sign of Damien Cox. Clearly, he wasn't on press row, or even in the building.

If last night was any indication, the Toronto Maple Leafs get it. No, not the hockey part, asshole, the social and new media part. They reached out to me, in the depths of my mother's basement, and treated me to a game, and all the pretzels my heart could desire. And I appreciated it. During the intermissions, I made tremendous progress on the Stanley Cup parade route the Leafs will be taking in 2010. Yes, 2010. It's those moments in The Foster Hewitt Media Gondola, when you're most inspired, and when you use your crayons to draw the heart of the parade through the streets of downtown Ottawa, and downtown Vancouver, that matter more than anything. Cross-country, baby. Like the Olympic torch relay.

Playoffs!!!1

A Monster Indeed

A .918 save percentage.

As a starter, it's even better: .924.

At home: an impressive .948. No doubt Jonas Gustavsson will play a significant role in making the Air Canada Centre a difficult place to play once again.

Shorthanded: a sublime .900. Up there with the big boys. Essentially: the anti-Vesa Toskala, who owns a .771 save percentage when there's four or fewer Toronto Maple Leafs in front of him. In Gustavsson's last four starts, the Leafs are 89% (16-18) on the penalty kill.

The formula is simple: Gustavsson makes saves; the Maple Leafs kill penalties; the Maple Leafs win.

Goaltending cures all. It triples Toronto's win total.

The sample size is small. But I can't help think that Gustavsson will single-handedly lead the Leafs to the playoffs, and to the most improbable of Stanley Cup championships, winning the Conn Smythe, Calder and Vezina Trophies along the way, in a magical season the likes of which we'll never see again get my hopes up.

A Prophecy Realized

Here's what I wrote back on October 8th ...

"It's going to get worse, before it gets better."

Well, according to the picture above, we've reached bottom.

Think about it: A.J. Burnett, hi$ 5.27 po$t-$ea$on ERA, and hi$ New York Yankee$ teammate$ are World $erie$ champion$.

Paul Beeston, unable to complete the one task he was brought in to accomplish, conveniently tossed aside the "interim" in "interim president." Staying along with him: Cito Gaston, a manager who's worn out his welcome among both players and fans, and who now has an expiry date.

The Toronto Maple Leafs have won one game. Out of 13.

The Buffalo Bills are - you guessed it - last in the AFC East. Terrell Owens? One touchdown.

It's too early for the Toronto Raptors to have disappointed us. But in all likelihood, they probably will. (On an aside, Charles Oakley remains one of the greatest quotes of all time: "These days with these guys I don't know if you can say too much to them without them breaking down and crying, like a girl. It is what it is." Don't ever change, Oak.)

It can't get much worse. Which is why it's going to get better.

Hideki Matsui, World Series MVP Hideki Matsui, is going to look pretty good in the Blue Jays' lineup as their designated hitter.

Vernon Wells had wrist surgery. As my man 40 put it so eloquently years ago: "That changes everything!!1"

The Maple Leafs' search for a goaltender has finally been called off. In Jonas Gustavsson, they've found their man. The Monster and his .901 save percentage will keep the puck out. If Tuesday night was any indication, Phil Kessel will take care of putting the puck in the net. Toronto is a four-game winning streak and another overtime loss away from 6th spot in the Eastern Conference. (Provided the eight teams between them lose five in a row, of course. It could happen.)

Fuck the Bills. They're hopeless.

As for the Raptors, it's never too early for the Chris Bosh "MVP!!1" chant.

When you're at the bottom, the only place to go is up.

(Unless Alex Anthopoulos trades Roy Halladay. Then all bets are off. Fuck.)

Appreciative

Five games into the season, we Leafs fans have a lot to be thankful for: the NHL's only winless team (the New York Islanders don't count), its worst defensive club (24 goals against in five games), a 63% success rate on the penalty kill, and a "starting goalie" with a .812 save percentage and 5.56 GAA.

The roster isn't strong. I get that. But I shouldn't be left weeping every time I tune in to watch a game.

While I've never much believed in the notion that a coach has a hand in how his team starts a game, or a period, I'm beginning to wonder about Ron Wilson. It's much easier to blame him for the fact the Leafs seem to always be trailing by a goal or two five minutes after the puck drops. And I've got to blame someone not named Vesa Toskala.

Granted it's only been a year and change, but horrendous defensive zone play and suspect penalty killing have begun to define Wilson's tenure in Toronto. Hopefully that'll change once Jonas Gustavsson takes up permanent residence between the pipes, but I'm worried. Enough to be thinking about the ex, Paul Maurice. And no Leafs coach should ever leave me pining for Maurice's return. I just can't shake the feeling: if Wilson couldn't get it done in San Jose, there's no way he accomplishes anything of substance (playoffs!!1) with the Maple Leafs.

In all seriousness: I think I might have actually, truly convinced myself that the Leafs would quality for the post-season. That's what makes the 0-4-1 start so difficult. Truculence is great and all, but I'd rather it be served in victory. There's only so many useless, staged fights I can watch.

The Joey MacDonald era kicks off tonight, and I hope it begins with me looking skywards in gratitude, rather than despair. I know; we're really reaching now.

As for Toronto's 77 games left on the schedule, I don't know whether to be thankful for them or not.

UPDATE: Toskala's injured. How convenient. And Tyler Bozak has been freed.

I'm not a machine ...

I certainly ran with that whole "I Believe In Vernon Wells" shtick. It was a grind; he took a ton of abuse this season. But I like to think I pulled it off. I never stopped believing. And Wells rewarded me: he hit .312 in September, the month that doesn't matter. Vernon's going to ride that average into the off-season, and into 2010. Next summer, he's going to earn all $12.5 million of his salary.

Okay, fine, maybe not all of it. But certainly three quarters of it.

My point is: I don't have the energy to believe in Vesa Toskala. And, frankly, I'd rather believe in Jonas Gustavsson.

At least Wells has a track record. A few successful seasons, Gold Glove awards, and a couple of All-Star selections to hang his very expensive coat on. Even, believe it or not, MVP votes.

Toskala's got nothing. I'm holding on to February 2009 and his .912 save percentage for dear life.

It was up to Toskala to make sure there was no goaltending controversy in Toronto this season. Four periods and an overtime later, he's already failed that test. An .800 save percentage? Sample size be damned, get out of the crease.

With Toskala taking home $4 million this season, and his trade value likely as low as it's ever been, it's hard to believe the Leafs gave up a first-round pick to acquire him. Actually, it's not, but you know what I mean.

San Jose sold high back in June 2007, a concept the Leafs are still trying to grasp. And that's where it gets tough for the current regime. Do you play Toskala, and hope he regains some of his mostly average form, in the hopes of getting something, anything, back in return for him? Or do you unleash The Monster (I've been sitting on that one for a while), and see what he can do?

I'd love for Brian Burke to be able to trade Toskala. Perhaps give Detroit a call. They did take Larry Murphy.

But Gustavsson's here on a one-year contract and, if he's the real deal, he needs the opportunity to showcase his talent. One legendary pre-season save later, I think we all agree that young Jonas can better Toskala's numbers. I mean, that save was out of control. And Jesus knows Vesa hasn't set the bar high enough.

If the Leafs are going to be unbearable to watch, which it seems they might, I'd rather it be Gustavsson being shelled than Toskala. Vesa's worth little to nothing to us now.

I could defend Vernon Wells because of his, and I use the term loosely, "glory days." Toskala has yet to see his own, and it's hard to believe there are any in his future.

UPDATE: Gustavsson has been emancipated. He'll be in goal tonight. It will be his first of many victories against the Ottawa Senators.