Olympic Rosterbation*

Well, why not?

Forwards:

Dany Heatley Joe Thornton Patrick Marleau

Rick Nash Sidney Crosby Jarome Iginla

Ryan Getzlaf Brad Richards Corey Perry

Brenden Morrow Mike Fisher Nathan Horton

Extra: Eric Staal

Defencemen:

Scott Niedermayer Chris Pronger

Jay Bouwmeester Shea Weber

Duncan Keith Dan Boyle

Extra: Mike Green

Goalies:

Martin Brodeur

Roberto Luongo

Marc-Andre Fleury

Deep Thoughts:

• I don't know about you, but I absolutely adore watching Dany Heatley score goal after goal after goal after goal for the San Jose Sharks. And, yes, it's got everything to do with the fact that Ottawa Senators fans despise him.
• Patrick Marleau has never played less than 74 games in one season. He's had a remarkably durable career.
• I hope Rick Nash regrets signing his extension with Columbus. He should have been a Toronto Maple Leaf.
• Joe Thornton, Sidney Crosby and Jarome Iginla are about as automatic as it gets.
• The Anaheim Ducks drafted Ryan Getzlaf 19th overall in 2003, and Corey Perry 28th overall that same year. They don't get enough credit for it.
• Thanks to his immaculate resume, Brad Richards wins over Mike Richards. Plus, the less Philadelphia Flyers the better.
• Brenden Morrow, Mike Fisher and Nathan Horton make up my dream checking line. Morrow is Canadian ice hockey, personified. As ridiculous as that sounds. He can do it all. I've admitted it before: I've always had a slight man-crush on Mike Fisher. I love his speed. He's one Ottawa Senator I've always fantasized becoming a Toronto Maple Leaf. As for Nathan Horton, at 24, I think he's finally coming into his own. It's a bit of a sentimental pick, as I've always liked his game. I think he takes the torch from a guy like Shane Doan and does it justice.
• Apologies go out to: Vincent Lecavalier, Jeff Carter, Mike Richards, Martin St. Louis, Steve Stamkos, Patrice Bergeron, and Jonathan Toews. Even a guy like Stephen Weiss. There simply isn't enough room. There never is. Although any of those guys could have been the 13th forward, I went with Staal because playing for Carolina and Paul Maurice, he's got to be hungry. And, to be honest, I thought he punched his ticket to Vancouver with his performance in last year's playoffs. Lecavalier doesn't look hungry enough; St. Louis I'd have given more time to if the tournament was on international ice; and Stamkos is part of Canada's next crop.
• Dustin Penner? Never crossed my mind. He shouldn't have crossed yours, either.
• I don't spend time worrying about guys playing outside of their natural position. These are the best hockey players in the world. I'm sure they'll manage.
• On defence, Scott Niedermayer is a winner. Period. He makes it on merit. And while no hockey fan actually likes Chris Pronger, most of us realize he's a tough son-of-a-bitch who is difficult to play against. He's Canadian. We'll use him.
• It seems Jay Bouwmeester has quietly turned into a better defenceman than Dion Phaneuf, and something about a pairing of Bouwmeester and Shea Weber scratches me right where I itch. Want to know how tough Weber is to play against? Ask Ryan Kesler.
• I know, plus/minus is a flawed statistic, but over the past two and a half seasons, Duncan Keith is a +75. Flawed or not, that's impressive. He spends more time on the ice shorthanded than any of his Chicago Blackhawks teammates, and he puts up points. He's a lock.
• Is it a stretch to say that Dan Boyle has spent his entire career underrated?
• For the extra blueliner, I wanted to take Drew Doughty. I really did. I love Doughty. But I couldn't ignore Mike Green's numbers. As a Leafs fan, when Toronto and Washington hook up, I can't help but notice Green on the ice.
• Goalies. This one was easy. Until Marty Brodeur bloody retires, he's the man in goal for Canada. And until Roberto Luongo wins a Stanley Cup, he's the Mike Modano of the crease; no respect. As for MAF, it's time the guy got some credit. He's a back-to-back Stanley Cup finalist, and a Cup winner. A career .907 save percentage doesn't exactly get me all hot and bothered, but he's young, improving, and, most importantly, a winner. In a toss-up with Steve Mason, it's got to be Fleury.
• As for who should wear the captain's "C," my choice is: nobody. This tournament is all about checking egos at the door, and doing what's asked of you. Whether that's playing 10 minutes a game on the fourth line, or sitting while Mike Babcock runs five defenceman in the third period, it doesn't matter. This team is stocked with talent, and stocked with captains. They're all leaders. Three alternates: Scott Niedermayer, Jarome Iginla, and Sidney Crosby.

Gold!!!1

*A tip of the hat to Drew/Lloyd the Barber from Ghostrunner on First for the stellar vocabulary. It's been added to my lexicon, and being used unsparingly.

A Tale of Three GMs; Part I: Bryan Colangelo

First things first, I've got to thank Banu Turkoglu. If it wasn't for her, Hedo Turkoglu would likely be blazing trails out in Portland, and I probably wouldn't be writing this post. The Turkoglu family's decision to pick Toronto as their free agency destination of choice set off a chain of events last week, culminating yesterday in a new and improved Toronto Raptors roster. Gone are Anthony Parker, Shawn Marion, Kris Humphries, Nathan Jawai, and a 2016 second round draft pick. Bryan Colangelo got the man he wanted, a star in Turkoglo, and filled out his bench by acquiring Devean George, and Antoine Wright, whose contracts both expire after the 2009/2010 season.

The best part? Toronto comes out of the deal with money to burn; money nobody expected them to have. While I have no idea how he did it, or even what it really means, Colangelo's still got the mid-level cap exception of about $5.9 million, and the biannual exception of about $1.9 million, to spend. And the team is $12 million and change below the salary cap, with some of that loot reportedly headed former Raptors Carlos Delfino and Rasho Nesterovic's way.

Clearly Bryan Colangelo can have his cake, and eat it too. And he's not done yet.

All this only one day after locking up the future of the franchise, Andrea Bargnani. As we head into year four of Bargnani's five-year-plan, the Italian seems poised and ready to break out.

And here we all were, in the days after the Turkoglu signing was rumoured to only be a formality, wondering about the state of the Raptors' bench. Turns out, as Colangelo himself wrote over at RaptorBlog.com, we never had anything to worry about.

These certainly aren't Rob Babcock's Toronto Raptors. The conclusion, agreed upon by most: Colangelo's a genius. He gets what he wants. He wanted some Big Turk when he was running the show in Phoenix, and wasn't going to let him get away twice. Turkoglu's agent credited Colangelo's persistence, above all else (yes, above even our most wonderfully cosmopolitan and multicultural city), in getting the deal done.

I love the Turkoglu signing, if only for the fact that it raises the self-confidence of a city that isn't used to attracting big-name free agents on the basketball (and baseball) side of the coin. Too many Toronto Raptors have weaseled their way out of playing here. Fuck Vince Carter, I'm still upset about Antonio Davis and his quip about "O Canada" and the metric system. It's heartening to land Turkoglu; it feels like a coup. (Suck it, Portland.)

Is a five-year deal too long? Perhaps. The contract reminds me of the one the Leafs gave Jason Blake two summers ago; you either love it, or you hate it. This much is true: the 6'10 Turkoglu gives the Raptors another bona fide scoring option, especially late in games. Chris Bosh isn't exactly what the kids call "clutch," and I've got no problem with Turkoglu taking the rock with the game on the line. In fact, I'm all for it. And for a guy who played with a rebounding vacuum in Dwight Howard, 5.3 boards per game impresses me in a way it probably shouldn't.

Has there ever been a stronger starting five - Bargnani, Bosh, Turkoglu, DeMar DeRozan, and Jose Calderon - in Raptors history? A bench of George, Wright, Delfino, Nesterovic, Reggie Evans and Roko Ukic doesn't sound too bad, either. Playoffs!1

Just when it seemed like the lustre had worn off of Bryan Colangelo, he reminds us why he's one of the most creative minds in basketball. His work sends a message not only to Raptors fans, but also to Chris Bosh: a 33-win season will not be tolerated. Stick around, Mr. 20/10, the future is bright.

The Summer of Brian Burke? Not so fast. The Maple Leafs' general manager may have just been outdone by his MLSE counterpart. And if it's a competition, I'm all for it.

Bryan Colangelo's office: where amazing happens.

Coming up, part two: the plight of J.P. Ricciardi ...

Who's on your blue line?

Brian Burke is spoiling us. Seriously.

After using the force to lure Mike Komisarek from the dark side, and acquiring cruncher Garnet Exelby, I figured the Francois Beauchemin ship had sailed past these parts.

Wrong. Wonderfully wrong.

Beauchemin has arrived. An already truculent defense core is now even more so. After valiantly enduring the John Ferguson Jr. era, Leafs fans are finally getting what they deserve from management: competence.

With 47 NHL-calibre defenseman now in tow, the rumour mill is a churning. Listen up: Tomas Kaberle isn't leaving town. Stop talking about him being traded, stop writing about him being traded, and stop tweeting about him being traded. It isn't happening. If it was, a deal would have been made by now. And don't bother bringing up Phil Kessel. That trade was based upon draft picks not yet selected; that dream, while certainly not mine, is dead.

Who, then, are the odd men out, you ask? Simple: Mike Van Ryn, and Jeff Finger.

Van Ryn, the ghost of Carlo Colaiacovo, obviously has a much easier contract to move; he'll be an unrestricted free agent next summer. Why keep him over Kaberle, who has two years left on his deal? Clearly the market for Tomas isn't what Burke thinks it should be, or he'd have dealt him by now. At this point, with the defense Burke's put together, I don't believe a top-six forward is a priority. Remember, it's not about scoring goals; it's about lowering the 293 goals the Leafs allowed last season. And I have no doubt that number is going to plummet.

Here's my six man rotation on defense, assuming the brittle Van Ryn will be traded:

Tomas Kaberle & Mike Komisarek

Luke Schenn & Francois Beauchemin

Garnet Exelby & Ian White

Finger and his $3.5 million dollar contract, along with Jonas Frogren and Anton Stralman, are the spare parts.

With four defensive defenseman making up the six, Kaberle would come in handy, especially on the power play. He could conceivably quarterback both units, for the entire two minutes.

There's also been some chatter as to having White play the wing, and Finger take a regular shift on defense. While I know it's ridiculous to sit a guy making $3.5 million, I think White's got a bright future on the Leafs, but only as a defenseman. He earned the trust of Wilson and co. last season with his solid play, and the admiration of us fans with his moustache.

According to Behind The Net, while playing five-on-five, White trailed only Luke Schenn in ice time per game (17:26 to 17:37). His 0.92 five-on-five Behind The Net rating was tops on the team by a healthy margin among regulars. And of all the regulars who played "defense" last season for Toronto, White's 2.74 GAON/60 (Goals Against On Ice, per 60 minutes) five-on-five rating was the lowest.

And this is the guy we should remove off the blue line? Fuhgeddaboudit!1

White's also young, and cheap. He takes priority over the Fingers, Van Ryns, Frogrens and Stralmans of the world.

Remember, last season, San Jose took Kyle McLaren and his $2.5 million cap hit and stuck him in the minors until they were able to trade him to Philadelphia. This is the reality of the new salary capped NHL. A reality Finger might have to accept.

A while back, I asked the ever-prescient Down Goes Brown for his thoughts on Jeff Finger, and, as usual, he hit the nail on the head:

"It's not that Finger is awful (he's not) or that he's overpaid (he is.) He's just not what the Leafs need. The focus in Toronto should be on finding young players and putting them in position to succeed. Signing a veteran minor-leaguer to a rich long-term contract to anchor the third defensive pairing isn't on that list.

"Finger isn't the disaster he's made out to be by some. He's just a bad fit - one that the Leafs will likely be stuck with for three more years."

I'm with DGB; just because we're stuck with Finger doesn't mean he should take precedence over Ian White, who was a more productive, versatile and useful defenseman for the Maple Leafs in 2008/2009.

Back to Beauchemin (this post is all over the fucking place); he's got people excited. Even Pension Plan Puppets' Chemmy, an advocate of "tank nation," is daring to dream:

"I'm going to say it just once, and probably deny it if you bring it up: PLAYOFFS!!!1"

Yes indeed, Jammies.

And Jonas Gustavsson is on the way officially a Maple Leaf.

It just keeps getting better.

Truculence? Check.

Brian Burke, if nothing else, is a man of his word. Saith Burke, back on November 29, 2008, when he became the man to fix the Toronto Maple Leafs:

"The first thing and probably the easiest thing to change on your team is the amount of the snarl, the amount of the bite. That's an important part of how my teams play."

July 1st has come and gone, and the Leafs have increased their snarl and bite quotient tenfold, thanks to the acquisitions of Colton Orr, Mike Komisarek, and Garnet Exelby. It's safe to say the winds of change have arrived. Burke is making this "his" team.

I'm rather pleased with the additions. Mostly because I hate all three of those guys.

Here's what I've written about Komisarek in the past:

"...Komisarek is a douche. If there's one guy on the Habs I want to kick square in the groin, it's Komisarek.

"Mike Komisarek's an All-Star? Fuck off, Montreal."

There's even a tag on the blog in honour of Toronto's newest defenceman: "Mike Komisarek = douchebag." Obviously, it will never be used again. He's our All-Star defenceman now, yo.

Yesterday, I loathed Komisarek. Today, I look forward to seeing him don the blue and white, along with the alternate captain's "A." Welcome to the good side, Mike.

The "A" on Komisarek's jersey will come from the sweater of the departed Pavel Kubina. He will be sorely missed. I enjoyed Kubina's time in Toronto, especially his booming shot from the point, and am lamenting the fact that one half of the Czech connection on defence has been traded away. Such is life. Players, they come and go.

In return, in Exelby, the Leafs get another stay-at-home defenceman I've never particularly liked. Mostly because the bastard tried - rather well, I might add - to decapitate Mats Sundin.

Well, Exelby's a Leaf now, and here's why his tenure in Toronto might be slightly arousing:

Komisarek and Exelby bring zero offence to the table. Instead they bring a penchant for open-ice bodychecks, something lacking around here since the days of Russian warriors Dmitri Yushkevich and Danny Markov. And that scratches me right where I itch.

The two also can't possibly not help improve the Leafs' absolutely fucking pathetic 74.7% penalty killing percentage.

Speaking of bringing nothing to the table offensively, that brings us to Colton Orr. He fights. That's it, that's all. He is what he is. And at $1 million a season over the next four campaigns, I'll take him over Brad May, Andre Deveaux, Ben Ondrus and, especially, Ryan Hollweg any day of the week.

Of course many Leafs fans, never satisfied and always bitching, are wondering when and who Burke is going to land up front. (Rick Nash, 2010!) Sure, I've got questions as well, and was hoping Burke might land Mike Cammalleri or Brian Gionta, who both ended up in Montreal, land of the midgets. But I'm with Burke: the back-end was rightfully the Leafs' first and foremost priority.

On a quick aside, the best news of the day was the free agent forward signing that didn't happen in Toronto: Chris Neil, along with his ugly mug, remains an Ottawa Senator. While I rooted for Bryan Marchment in a Leafs uniform, even I have my limits. Crisis averted. And, still on Ottawa, I love Dany Heatley. Anyone who fucks the Senators so gloriously gets a pass in my books.

Back to business: the Leafs allowed an embarrassing 293 goals last season; worst in the league. They scored a respectable 250 goals. Sure, Nik Antropov's 21 goals, Dominic Moore's 12 goals, and Pavel Kubina's 14 goals are gone, but I'm not worried about it. I fully expect Nikolai Kulemin to improve on his 15-goal rookie campaign, and John Mitchell to pot more than his rookie total of 12. Nik Hagman's a 30-goal man if healthy, there's no way Lee Stempniak scores only 11 goals in 60 games again, and I believe Jiri Tlusty is ready to make the full-time jump to the NHL after becoming a point-per-game player in the AHL.

The goals will come. I haven't even mentioned the collegiate cats Burke was able to sign a few months ago. But it's time to focus on what's wrong with this team, and not worry about what might or might not happen up front. The priority, as it rightfully God damn should have been, and as Burke clearly signalled it was with his moves, is getting that 293 goals against number down to 230. And I'm confident our new defensive core - a shut-down threesome of Luke Schenn, Komisarek and Exelby - along with a healthy Vesa Toskala and soon-to-be-signed Jonas Gustavsson (there's no way Burke's NOT getting him), can make that happen.

Don't get me wrong; if in the coming days Burke can add a forward, preferably a centre, I certainly wouldn't mind. It would be the icing on our truculent, stay-at-home defencemen cake. Mats Sundin, anyone?

Opening Night

It has proven difficult to escape the copious amounts of negativity - whether in print, on blogs, on radio, and on television - that surrounds the 2009 edition of our Toronto Blue Jays. It is in abundance. It is everywhere. And I'm tired of it. Sick of it. Done with it, actually.

You will find none of it here. No sir. My glass is half full. 

Here you'll find someone who will be on his feet to welcome back Aaron Hill when he steps to the plate for the first time tonight; who can't wait to see what Travis Snider, only 21 years old, can do over the course of a full season; who thinks the Gastonian One can build on his half-season success of 2008; who can't wait to see how the Jays' young arms - Jesse Litsch, David Purcey, Ricky Romero, Casey Janssen, and eventually Brad Mills and Brett Cecil - respond to the monumental challenge at hand; who is looking forward to again watching Scott Rolen patrol the hot corner better than anyone in this city before him; and who will appreciate every single, solitary pitch Roy Halladay throws.

I could go on. I haven't even mentioned Alex Rios, Vernon Wells, or Lyle Overbay. And I won't, because there's really only more thing you need to know; that there's been a slight change to the Toronto Blue Jays' 2009 to do list. Here it is, amended:

Before I depart, I'd like to thank everyone who's taken a second to vote in the "Will the Blue Jays Win the Pennant?" poll currently up and running. I must admit, I'm most pleased with the results so far. It's heartening to know that, somewhere, there exist those who are as bullish on the Jays' chances as I am.

Remember, a little hope never hurt anybody. 

2009: We're 0-for-2...

The Toronto Maple Leafs are inquiring into tee times. Yep, it's springtime. 

Chris Bosh is going to have all the time in the world to make crazy awesome ridiculously lame YouTube videos once the Toronto Raptors are eliminated from post-season play. I can't wait.

The Toronto Blue Jays are going to need a miracle of biblical proportions in order to either win the AL East, or win the Wild Card. (I've got faith in Jesus. Dude walked on water, yo. All I'm asking for is the pennant. That's nothing.)

For calendar 2009, my city's hopes and dreams lie on the shoulders of Toronto FC, who begin their quest to make the playoffs (!!!!1) tonight in Kansas City.

The Dwayne De Rosario and Adrian Serioux era is upon us. Finally. And I've got a good feeling beautiful footy music will be made on the BMO pitch this season.

DeRo and Serioux, the local boys representing. Amado Guevara. A healthy Danny Dichio. A full season with Chad Barrett up front. Carl Robinson. A hopefully more confident Rohan Ricketts. Jimmy Brennan. Marco Velez. Greg Sutton. And, last but certainly not least, my man Marvell Wynne.

I don't need to tell you what all those guys above add up to. You know the answer.

Believe in the Reds. They're going to make sure 2009 isn't a complete bust.

A different team. Literally.

Is there anything you would rather do with your Tuesday night than watch the New York Islanders and Toronto Maple Leafs duke it out? If you said no, much like me, you have a problem. Actually, it's more like a sickness.

I don't know why I watched the game, but I did. To no one's surprise, it was like pulling teeth. It was the Leafs and Isles, after all. Borderline AHL hockey. But, hey, the Leafs won. In overtime, of course. Mickey Grabs with the winner, eh! It's a celebration.

Anyway, while I was walking home from work yesterday, I was thinking about just how much the Leafs' roster has changed in a calendar year. Yes, this is in fact my thought process as I stroll along Yonge St. after a long day at work. Don't judge me, yo.

Thanks to Google, which has completely changed all of our lives, I pulled up the box score to a game between the Leafs and New Jersey Devils, played on March 8, 2008. The Leafs were 2-1 losers (fucking Devils). Here's the roster the Leafs put out that night:

Nik Antropov (traded)

Jason Blake

Carlo Colaiacovo (traded)

Tomas Kaberle

Pavel Kubina

Bryan McCabe (traded)

Dominic Moore (traded)

Kris Newbury (in the minors)

Alex Ponikarovsky

Matt Stajan

Alex Steen (traded)

Anton Stralman (is half Leaf, half Marlie)

Mats Sundin (LEFT VIA FREE AGENCY)

Jiri Tlusty (owning the AHL)

Darcy Tucker (bought out)

Kyle Wellwood (waived)

Ian White

Jeremy Williams (in the minors)

Vesa Toskala

Andrew Raycroft (bought out; thank God)

Now, compare that with last night's Leafs roster:

Jason Blake

Boyd Devereaux (picked up on waivers)

Jeff Finger (free agency)

Mikhail Grabovski (acquired via trade)

Jeff Hamilton (free agency)

Pavel Kubina

Nikolai Kulemin (drafted)

Brad May (acquired via trade)

Jamal Mayers (acquired via trade)

John Mitchell (drafted)

Ben Ondrus (will never be anything but an injury call-up)

Phil Oreskovic (drafted)

Alex Ponikarovsky

Luke Schenn (drafted; thank God)

Matt Stajan

Lee Stempniak (acquired via trade)

Anton Stralman (still half Leaf, half Marlie)

Ian White

Martin Gerber (picked up on waivers)

Curtis Joseph (free agency; oops)

As you can see, the roster turnover has been nothing short of phenomenal. Granted, there have been a lot of injuries this season, as there always are. Ben Ondrus is up with the big club right now because Nik Hagman is hurt. I don't imagine Ondrus is part of the grand plans going forward. 

Guys like Stralman and Oreskovic are only up because Mike Van Ryn is made of glass, Kaberle's got a busted hand, and Jonas Frogren is done for the season. Don't forget about Jamie Sifers, who's also seen some action with the big club this year.

And Martin Gerber is a Leaf only because Vesa Toskala is injured, and because both Curtis Joseph and Justin Pogge stink.

Gone too are guys like Mark Bell (waivers), Robbie Earl (traded) and Staffan Kronwall (waivers). Rookies like Alex Foster and Darryl Boyce, who saw action with the Leafs last year, haven't been able to make the jump this year. While Tim Stapleton is down on the farm, enjoying a fine season, I think we'd all be pleased if Andre Deveaux and Ryan Hollweg (worst trade ever) never play for the Leafs again.

Ian White is one of the more interesting cats to think about, March 2008 to March 2009. A year ago against the Devils, he played 13:13. Of all the six defensemen in the lineup that night, White received the fewest minutes, even less than Stralman. Last night, White played 27:25, by far the most on the team. He has skyrocketed up the depth chart, and it's a testament to his hard work and flexibility. Also, his stache. He's rocked it like a champ all year and, make no mistake, it definitely has something to do with his success.

Clearly, change has come to Toronto. And the Brian Burke purges shall continue. I imagine it will be another busy summer in Leafs land.

Bring it on, I say.

Playoffs!!!!1

Eventually.