To move aimlessly from place to place

Monday. You know how it arrives.

I haven't written in about a week. So effected was I by Mark McGwire's bombshell announcement. Steroids. Who knew? ...

1. Inspired by the fine folks at Silver Seven Sens, who donated $0.05 for every comment in Saturday's game day thread to the Canadian Red Cross's Haiti Earthquake Relief Fund, I've donated Sports And The City's January ad revenue (up to the 17th) to the same cause. I'll be topping up the donation at the end of the month. The pictures of dead bodies in the streets of Port-Au-Prince are difficult and downright disturbing to look at. The poor country can't catch a break. The donation isn't much, but it's something. Thanks for reading.

2. On to more distracting things ... The last time the Edmonton Oilers won a game, it was 2009. December 30th, actually, at home against -- you guessed it!!1 -- Toronto. As bad as the Maple Leafs are, the Oilers are worse. Poor Pat Quinn. I'm worried about his physical and mental well being.

3. I'm high on Phil Kessel, but at least Oilers fans have their first round draft pick to look forward to.

4. The immediate years post-Mats Sundin (last season, this season, and probably the next two) will do wonders for #13's legacy. With Phil Kessel the only true offensive threat the Maple Leafs boast, people will eventually marvel at just how consistent, and just how good, Sundin truly was in Toronto. Don't get me wrong, Kessel's good. He's got the potential to be great. But as a sniper, I'm not sure he possesses the acumen to become a guaranteed 30-goal scorer, and point-per-game player, like Sundin was only three seasons into his career.

5. You're Boston Bruins general manager Peter Chiarelli. Would you trade Toronto's 2010 first round pick, David Krejci, and Blake Wheeler for Ilya Kovalchuk?

6. I recently began reading mc79hockey.com - "Where we're welcoming the local and national media to the news that the Oilers suck" - and it's fantastic. Check it out. Last week, an excellent post was written about Ethan Moreau's propensity to take more penalties than he draws. In conclusion: since 2007/2008, five-on-five, Moreau has "generated 20.5 more power plays for the opposition in the course of a given season than would a forward who takes and draws penalties at average rates." Interesting stuff. There's a chart and everything. Fourteenth on the list: Toronto's Jamal Mayers, at 14.4. Mayers hasn't done much in Toronto. Other than take a lot of penalties, clearly. While he's simply trying to fit in, it's probably safe to say the trade to acquire Mayers is a wash. As I'm sure you remember, Florida's third round pick in the 2008 draft, acquired by Toronto for Chad Kilger, was sent to St. Louis for Mayers. The Blues drafted James Livingston 70th overall with the pick. Livingston's playing out his final year in the OHL and has 14 goals, and 26 points, in 38 games. Knowing nothing about Livingston but his numbers, I'm going to go ahead and conclude he will not be an impact player in the NHL.

7. I try to watch Tyler Bozak's first career NHL goal on YouTube at least twice a day.

8. Since being traded by the Montreal Canadiens, Guillaume Latendresse has become a rather prolific goal scorer. In 24 games with Minnesota, he's lit the lamp 13 times. Latendresse is now only one goal off his career high of 16 and, as a Leafs fan suffering through yet another bullshit season, this pleases me.

9. There was irony in watching Jacques Martin lose to the Ottawa Senators's next young hope in the crease, Mike Brodeur, Saturday night. The carousel of goaltenders in Ottawa also pleases me.

10. In his last three games, Andrea Bargnani has pulled down 35 rebounds - 17, 12, and 6, respectively. With half the season officially in the books, Bargnani has posted seven double-digit rebounding efforts. Last season, he managed the feat six times. In 2007/2008: once. In 2006/2007, Il Mago's rookie year: twice. It's happening, folks. Bargnani is learning how to rebound. The patience is paying off.

11. For good measure, Bargnani is putting up the best shooting numbers of his young career as well: 47.2% from the floor, and 17.2 points a game.

12. I'm not sure what the "That's Vernon Wells type money" vote means in the new poll on whether Chris Bosh is worth $130 million. It's either a shot at Bosh, a shot at Wells, or a shot at both of them. I'm assuming its connotation is negative. But it's good to see the most number of votes, so far, are in the "Yes" category. Bosh and Bargnani, with Bargnani at his peak? I'd like to see that.

13. To be a fly on the wall at -- if it happens -- Jeremy Accardo's arbitration hearing.

14. Jason Frasor made only $1.45 million last year, and is in line for a nice raise. What is The Sausage King of the Bullpen worth to you in 2010 - $2.5 million? $3 million?

15. With only two weeks left to vote, it's all but certain that Aaron Hill will replace Roy Halladay in the Sports And The City banner. Which means he likely won't be a Toronto Blue Jay for much longer.

16. There's nothing -- absolutely nothing -- like a devastating block in football. Kurt Warner surely agrees.

17. My boy 40's a New York Jets fan. I'm happy for him.

All Is Not Lost

Most of it. But not all.

Some thoughts:

• If you look close enough, you can actually see the fear in Olli Jokinen's eyes. Francois Beauchemin is crazy, and I find it utterly enrapturing.
• After a disappointing goalless performance on Saturday night, Phil Kessel is now on pace for only 46 goals and 81 points.
• Where have you been all my life, Carl Gunnarsson?
• So, according to Don Cherry, Rickard Wallin doesn't belong in the NHL because he wears a gold chain. It's got nothing to do with the fact he's Swedish, and wears a visor. Nothing at all. It's because of the chain. Just when I thought Cherry couldn't possibly reach a new low, he's gone and proved me wrong. Because only terrible hockey players wear gold chains.
• The Toronto Maple Leafs remain the NHL's most abominable defensive team (67 GA), with the 29th-best save percentage (.878), and league's worst penalty killing success rate (71.5%). It all goes back to the question that has haunted mankind since the beginning: what came first, the goaltender or the coach?

Scribes are busy claiming we are already in the midst of a lost season. Yet here we are, in November. It's far too early to write off the playoffs. (You know me, I think it's never too late.) With 64 games left on the docket, my plan involves conveniently ignoring the standings, and believing that this club will somehow flick the switch and get it.

I believe in the proverbial on/off switch that is found in the realm of professional sports.

If all else fails, Brian Burke can fire Ron Wilson. That'd be nice.

A Prophecy Realized

Here's what I wrote back on October 8th ...

"It's going to get worse, before it gets better."

Well, according to the picture above, we've reached bottom.

Think about it: A.J. Burnett, hi$ 5.27 po$t-$ea$on ERA, and hi$ New York Yankee$ teammate$ are World $erie$ champion$.

Paul Beeston, unable to complete the one task he was brought in to accomplish, conveniently tossed aside the "interim" in "interim president." Staying along with him: Cito Gaston, a manager who's worn out his welcome among both players and fans, and who now has an expiry date.

The Toronto Maple Leafs have won one game. Out of 13.

The Buffalo Bills are - you guessed it - last in the AFC East. Terrell Owens? One touchdown.

It's too early for the Toronto Raptors to have disappointed us. But in all likelihood, they probably will. (On an aside, Charles Oakley remains one of the greatest quotes of all time: "These days with these guys I don't know if you can say too much to them without them breaking down and crying, like a girl. It is what it is." Don't ever change, Oak.)

It can't get much worse. Which is why it's going to get better.

Hideki Matsui, World Series MVP Hideki Matsui, is going to look pretty good in the Blue Jays' lineup as their designated hitter.

Vernon Wells had wrist surgery. As my man 40 put it so eloquently years ago: "That changes everything!!1"

The Maple Leafs' search for a goaltender has finally been called off. In Jonas Gustavsson, they've found their man. The Monster and his .901 save percentage will keep the puck out. If Tuesday night was any indication, Phil Kessel will take care of putting the puck in the net. Toronto is a four-game winning streak and another overtime loss away from 6th spot in the Eastern Conference. (Provided the eight teams between them lose five in a row, of course. It could happen.)

Fuck the Bills. They're hopeless.

As for the Raptors, it's never too early for the Chris Bosh "MVP!!1" chant.

When you're at the bottom, the only place to go is up.

(Unless Alex Anthopoulos trades Roy Halladay. Then all bets are off. Fuck.)

Life Isn't Fair

Toronto FC, in the biggest game of its young existence, delivered the type of pathetic performance only a Toronto team could in a must-win situation.

The Toronto Maple Leafs? A strong, and much better, effort. But another loss. Another fucking loss. I don't know about you, but when I think about the Leafs, I find it impossible not to shake my head in disgust. There's certainly no pressure on Phil Kessel to live up to that 2010 first-round draft pick, which I pray - to Allah, Jesus, Buddha, Krishna ... you name 'em, I'm praying to 'em - will not be a lottery pick.

And to end the weekend, a champagne shower of one A.J. Burnett. What we all wanted to see. Fucking Yankee$.

I could get used to this ...

Nazem Kadri, from Niklas Hagman, and Tomas Kaberle:

And how about that fist pump? Proper.

It's been almost three months since Toronto drafted him, but I remain at the stage where I'm tickled by the fact that Kadri is actually a Maple Leaf.

Since Friday night, I've been walking around mumbling "Kadri, Kessel, and Schenn." Repeatedly. The future is bright. And when's the last time we could say that?

Is this real life?

I have emerged, relatively unscathed, from a 33 and a half hour bachelor party in Toronto. A copious amount of alcohol was consumed. In large part to celebrate the arrival of #81; Madison, Wisconsin's own, Phil Kessel. (And the soon-to-be-groom.)

I admit it: I chuckled, rather boisterously, upon reading the first sentence of Damien Cox's column Saturday morning ...

"For the 10th time in the past 20 years, the Maple Leafs have sacrificed a first-round selection in the NHL entry draft to make a significant trade."

Who didn't see that coming?

But I digress. Cox's column was, in fact, borderline positive.

It's one thing to trade a first-round draft pick for an aging Brian Leetch. Or a 29-year-old (and going on 41) Wendel Clark. Or a 31-year-old Owen Nolan. It's another to trade a first-round draft pick for a goalie - Vesa "my five-hole is always open" Toskala - unproven as a legitimate number one.

But it's a whole new ball game when you trade two first-round draft picks, and a second-round pick, for a guy who's scored 36 goals in the NHL before the age of 22.

I believe in Phil Kessel.

Don't get me wrong; I thought, much like you, that the days of trading first-round picks were over. I thought we had dawned upon a new era; you know, an era in which the Leafs would actually develop their own talent. But the Kessel deal is one, I have decided, that I can get behind. The Kessel deal is one that had to be made. Brian Burke has found his top-six forward. He's locked up him up, long-term. And at the high cost of three draft picks, including two first-rounders, so be it. In Brian Burke I trust.

How can you not be excited about a guy who averaged only 16:32 of ice-time a game last season, along with limited power play duty, and still potted 32 goals? Only freedom-hating terrorists can't appreciate that shit.

How does a future of Nazem Kadri, Kessel, and Luke Schenn sound? Boners abound, I say.

The best part: Kessel, coming off shoulder surgery, will be ready to play in mid-November. When it matters.

UPDATE: Playoffs!!1

UPDATE #2: "Phil the Thrill." What do we think?