Tainted

I'm a few days late to the party, but I hope you don't mind me weighing in on Thursday's most "juicy" revelation:

David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez being outed for steroid use, in the same year, is sweet, poetic justice after years of rampant Masshole douchebaggery.

Asterisk that shit.

Another one bites the dust

Manny Ramirez, cheater.

Or is he? Apparently Manny is guilty as charged of using a performance enhancing drug - only of the sexual variety.

Regardless, arguably the greatest hitter of our generation has failed a drug test. Whatever he took was a baseball enhancer as well. And it's unfortunate, because he'll now be painted with the same brush as douchebags like A-Rod and Roger Clemens.

When it comes to baseball players testing positive for the juice, nothing surprises me anymore. I was shocked to hear about Ramirez, but not surprised. These days, they're all guilty until proven innocent.

Except for two men: Roy Halladay, the greatest pitcher I've ever known, and Carlos Delgado, the lost slugger of the Steroid Era.

I'm not sure who's next to be outed, but if it were one of those two men, a part of me would die inside. I'm not sure I could deal with finding out that Roy Halladay isn't perfect, or that Delgado didn't become the best Toronto Blue Jay hitter of all time on nothing but his own merit. It would be akin to finding out, as a young boy, that Santa Claus does not in fact exist; things would never be the same again. Innocence, lost.

Here's hoping that day never comes.

It's Official: I'm Depressed

The onset of winter has me, once again, questioning why I live in this God forsaken city. I hate when Mother Nature whores it up tundra style in fucking November. To add to my malaise, it's official: Manny Ramirez will not become a Toronto Blue Jay this winter.

The dream is dead. J.P. Ricciardi killed it. I know, it was the longest of long shots to begin with and, deep down, I knew it wasn't going to happen. But, well, still. I could have done without J.P. flat out saying "We won't be involved with Manny," and completely ruining my Thursday afternoon. Asshole.

Alright, so Manny won't be donning powder blue. But J.P. will sign one of Jason Giambi or Milton Bradley instead, right?

Apparently not. We're not going after those guys either. 

This is where I get confused. I hate Jason Giambi. With a passion. I hate his steroid-abusing ways, and the fact that he only came clean after he got caught. I hate the stache. I hate that he was a Yankee. But I'd welcome him to Toronto with open arms. That's how much I want his bat (that's what she said).

The same goes for Milton Bradley. The man is a lunatic, but I can't say no to that 2008 163 OPS+.

J.P. Ricciardi certainly has more will power than I.

OK, the kids, Adam Lind and Travis Snider, will play left field and DH. That's cool. All part of the plan. J.P. will use the money he's got at his disposal and plug some holes in the rotation via free agency. Brad Penny, perhaps. Or Derek Lowe. A flier on Jon Garland. Maybe even Pedro Martinez, or Randy Johnson.

Right?

Wrong. None of those guys are on J.P.'s radar. Nobody is. Clearly J.P.'s radar is broken because he's got to be shitting me when he says that he, the Jays, and, by cause and effect, me, are going to be sitting out the free agent frenzy. 

There is one, uh, minor exception. A contract, on lovely Blue Jays stationary and worth $54 million over four years, is currently lost amongst more lucrative offers atop A.J. Burnett's agent's desk. But I simply can't imagine Burnett signing on Toronto's dotted line. He'll take more money, and a chance to play with Derek Jeter, and Mariano Rivera, in the new Yankee Stadium. No hard feelings. I'd take the fattest cheque, too.

I do truly wish for Burnett to stay in the AL East. I want the Jays to face him. A lot. I want the Jays to beat him. I want Roy Halladay to beat him. Ideally, I want him to watch Toronto make the playoffs. And I want to watch him inevitably hit the disabled list (seriously, no hard feelings).

If it were up to me, I'd take all that A.J. money, plus some more, pack it in suitcases, and show up at ManRam's door. Make like Jerry Maguire, you know, and show him the money. Make him an offer he can't refuse.

J.P.'s got to do something. A winter watching on the sidelines is not acceptable, and will not be tolerated. It just might make Richard Griffin's head explode. 

For once, I find myself hoping that Ricciardi is actually lying this time.

Thank You, Tampa Bay Rays

I never thought I'd be cheering for Matt Garza, not after what he did to the Blue Jays this season. Last night, I was Garza's biggest fan, and he didn't disappoint. What can I say? When I hop aboard a bandwagon, I go all out.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank the Tampa Bay Rays. They are American League champions. They are off to the World Series, and the Boston Red Sox are not. At the end of the day, that's what's most important, my friends.

The Red Sox - much to the chagrin of this Masshole and much to the delight of, well, everyone else - will not repeat as World Series champions. As a die-hard Blue Jays fan born in 1982, the fact that Toronto won back-to-back titles is all I've got left on "Red Sox Nation." Do it two times in a row Massholes, then talk to me.

The city of Boston is in mourning today, and I'm pleased to say that David Ortiz and Jason Varitek are a big reason why. Ortiz hit only .154 over the course of the ALCS, managing just four hits, one home run, and four RsBI. He struck out nine times. 

As for Varitek, his ALCS numbers are downright laughable. He managed one (1!) hit in 20 at-bats for a whopping .050 batting average, and struck out eight times in six games. Attaboy, Tek. Way to lead the troops. If there was any doubt that Varitek's not done as an everyday catcher in the majors, there should be no more, because it's painfully obvious that he's finished. I think Tek might have struck out for the last time in a Boston uniform. 

No Masshole can argue that the better team lost. The Rays were better on the mound, and much better at the plate. B.J. Upton and Evan Longoria combined for 19 RsBI in the series, equalling the output of Ortiz, Varitek, Kevin Youkilis, Dustin Pedroia, and J.D. Drew combined. Guys like Willy Aybar stepped up for Tampa, while Red Sox youngsters Jacoby Ellsbury and Jed Lowrie didnt answer the bell.

How about that pitching performance last night by Matt Garza? Seven innings, two hits, one earned run off a solo home run, and nine strikeouts. The Red Sox were "Garzafied" twice in the series, and Garza was well-deserving of the MVP award.

And don't forget about David Price's four-out save. With the fate of the Tampa Bay organization, and Red Sox haters everywhere, resting on his young shoulders, Price struck out J.D. Drew with the based loaded in the bottom of the eighth inning. He took the mound again in the ninth and struck out two more, including Varitek (sweet), before getting Jed Lowrie to ground out to end the game. Talk about picking up your first career save in style, eh? Price, only 23 years young, and fresh out of the 2007 draft, has got to be on top of the world today. 

As J.P. Ricciardi is always preaching, pitching is what gets the job done in the AL East. Scott Kazmir was the only Tampa Bay ALCS starter to register an ERA higher than 4.00. For the Red Sox, none of their starting pitchers were able to crack the 4.00 ERA mark. Josh Beckett, who has got to be injured, finished with a nasty 9.64 ALCS ERA.

The Rays and Phillies World Series will get started on Wednesday. I'm not sure it's safe to hop off a moving Tampa Bay bandwagon, but I sure as hell wouldn't mind seeing Matt Stairs win a ring. It's a win-win situation, really. The Fall Classic will be Red Sox free, after all.

Somewhere, someplace, Manny Ramirez is smiling. That makes two of us.

The Red Sox Did It Again

The great teams, in any sport, have a switch they turn on when their backs are against the wall, when they are facing elimination, when there is no tomorrow. The Boston Red Sox have that switch. Down three games to one to the Cleveland Indians in the ALCS, they turned it on.

The Boston Red Sox are a great team, and they’ve gone and done it again. For the Fenway faithful, it’s another monumental comeback that sends their beloved Red Sox to their second World Series in four years.

Another great op-ed by Will Leitch in the New York Times about how the Red Sox are no longer a tragic baseball team forced to deal with curses and condemned to forever be the loser (that would be the Toronto Maple Leafs). No, the Boston Red Sox are just winners.

Must be nice.

As special and remarkable as the Sox’s comeback was in 2004, this one was right up there with it. Just like 2004, I didn’t see it coming. This year’s version of the Red Sox didn’t look like a team that was going to make it happen. They didn’t look like the loosey-goosey “idiots” from 2004 who staged one of the greatest comebacks in baseball history. They didn’t have the characters like Johnny Damon and Kevin Millar, guys who were going to “cowboy up” and get the job done. Although Big Papi and Manny Ramirez were hitting the lights out of, well, everything, there seemed to be too many questions in regards to everyone else.

After another dominant effort from Josh Beckett in game five to send the series back to beautiful Fenway Park, there seemed to be life in the Red Sox yet.

But the questions, they were still on my mind.

Was Curt Schilling going to paint blood on his sock and win another crucial game six with his team facing elimination? Was he ready to accept that he must change his approach because he doesn’t have the stuff to dominate anymore? Was J.D. Drew ever going to do anything to justify that mammoth contract? Was Coco Crisp finally going to be forced to grab some pine? If they did force game seven, would Dice-K have enough gas in the tank?

Well, all of those questions were answered. With an emphatic yes.

Schilling got the win and improved to 4-0 with a 1.37 ERA in five starts when his team is facing elimination. J.D. Drew hit a grand slam to make sure there was going to be a game seven. Terry Francona finally benched Coco Crisp. And Dice-K, although not dominant by any stretch of the imagination, got the win, and therefore got the job done, with some help from his countryman Hideki Okajima. Okajima’s been so huge for the Red Sox all year. As if getting Dice-K wasn’t enough, geez.

As a Jays fan, seeing the Red Sox advance is tough. If it’s not Evil Empire #1 the New York Yankees, it’s Evil Empire #2 the Boston Red Sox. Other than spending a gazillion dollars, what’s a team got to do to make the playoffs in the American League East? Bud Selig, throw me a freaking bone here.

What made it even more infuriating was seeing that little weasel Royce Clayton, the former and might I add super-pathetic Blue Jay, celebrating in the Red Sox dugout and clubhouse like he’d been with Boston all year and contributed anything at all to their success (or was even on their playoff roster). Clayton's useless. What a tool.

But I digress.

It’s a Boston Red Sox and Colorado Rockies World Series and if you saw that one coming, well, you’re just lying. So stop it.

A lot was made of Manny Ramirez’s comments after the Red Sox went down 3-1, and how he said it “wasn’t the end of the world” if Boston lost the series. I agree, it wouldn’t have been the end of the world, but I wasn’t too pleased with Manny’s comments. He was chastised for not caring enough but you wouldn’t know it when he stepped to the plate with his .400 batting average.

In the aftermath of the comeback, some are saying that it was Ramirez’s comments that loosened up the Red Sox. It was Manny who got them to stop worrying about their situation. It was Manny who got them to go out on to the field and just play baseball.

Give me a break - Manny isn’t that smart. It was, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, just Manny being Manny.

Wow. I feel all cheap and dirty.

A telling stat from games five, six and seven – the Red Sox outscored the Cleveland Indians 30-5, and Big Papi and Ramirez drove in only five of those runs. It was the other guys who stepped up – the Pedroia’s, the Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuukilis’s, and, unfathomably, the J.D. Drew’s.

What can you say about the Cleveland Indians? They’ve got a heck of a ball club, but their big boys didn’t show up when it mattered most. Grady Sizemore, Casey Blake and Travis Hafner, especially, are going to have a long off-season. Like the CBC Hockey Night in Canada song goes – “for the chance may never come again.”

And how about that poor idiot Ryan Garko? After game five a confident Garko had a severe brain cramp and told the media “the champagne tastes just as good on the road as it does at home.”

That lovely little quote ended up taped on the back of Boston’s clubhouse door at Fenway.

Way to go, Garko! I wonder how the champagne's going to taste in his basement.

It was a fantastic series, and the 11-2 final in game seven does not tell the story of how close the game really was.

I can’t find it in me, however, to say that the Cleveland Indians choked. The Boston Red Sox, like all great teams do when pushed to the brink, simply turned on the switch…

The Weigh In #2

It's time for another installment of The Weigh In. In this edition: Manny Ramirez, the baseball playoffs, Joe Torre, the Toronto Maple Leafs, the Chicago Blackhawks, and the Buffalo (or should I say Toronto?) Bills.

How big of a douche bag is Manny Ramirez? On Thursday night he hits a bomb to centre field, with two outs, that goes off the top of the wall and comes back into play - about as close as you can get to a home run without hitting one. David Ortiz, not exactly Flash on the base paths, comes in to score from first base, no problem. Where does Man-Ram end up? At first base. A 400 foot single.

Ramirez's antics are getting old. First of all, it's the playoffs. Second of all, his team was facing elimination Thursday night. You'd think he'd be playing a bit harder, right? Nope, that's not how Manny rolls. To him, it doesn't matter what the situation or the score is. He's going to hit moon shots, and whether they're leaving the park or not, he's going to hold his hands high in the air, admire his own power, and walk out of the batters box.

Great op-ed by Will Leitch in the New York Times about the fact that most fans probably care more than the athletes who actually play the games we, as fans, obsess over. Surely no athlete can care less than Manny Ramirez.

I'm sick of hearing that it's just "Manny being Manny". It's Manny being a jackass...

Lets stick with baseball. Joe Torre is officially out as manager of the New York Yankees. Not surprising, we all saw the writing on the wall, but the details of how it went down were rather shocking. Usually, the Yankees are the embodiment of class, but they dropped the ball on Torre. By offering him a one-year $5 million dollar deal (a pay cut from the $7.5 million he made this season), the Yankees knew they were giving him an offer he couldn't accept. With incentives, the new deal could reach $8 million. Torre was looking for a two-year deal. And the incentives, you ask? He had to win the World Series.

Now that, as Torre would agree, is complete bullshit. The playoffs, in any sport, are half skill and half luck. The Yankees have spent millions upon millions of dollars in the last seven years and don't have a World Series title to show for their efforts. It just isn't that simple. There is no magic formula.

Torre managed some great players in his years in the Bronx, but he also managed some massive ego's. That's what made him such a great manager. He was able to harness every man's ego in that dressing room and got them to buy into the team philosophy. Even though he was disrespected by management, he didn't have anything bad to say about the New York Yankees. Stay classy, Joe.

I believe Torre will be coaching in baseball next season, and I'm pretty sure it won't be in Toronto. At the very least, I hope the Blue Jays at least give his people a call. Every single team in baseball should be giving Torre's people a call...

More baseball...The Colorado Rockies, for the first time in their short history, are off to the World Series. What a magical run. Theirs is the story of fairy tales. Stuff like this isn't supposed to happen in real life. They've won 10 in a row and 21 out of their last 22, including a one-game playoff with San Diego to just make the playoffs. It's hard to root against a team like Colorado. They continue to defy the odds.

It must be good times to be a Rockies fan right now. God knows they've suffered through some tough years. The beer must be flowing like a river in Denver during "Rocktober", especially at Coors Field.

The World Series will begin on October 24 and it will be interesting to see how the long layoff will effect Colorado. Surely they must have wanted to keep playing every day. Dane Cook keeps telling us that "There's only one October" but the geniuses at Major League Baseball have scheduled the Fall Classic such that if it goes the distance, there will be baseball in November. Hopefully, it'll be snowing in Denver. A little Snow Series, please...

On to the ALCS - Is Curt Schilling the best post season pitcher of all-time? As much as I don't like the ever-opinionated Schiling and his stupid bloody sock (I still believe it was fake blood - pure Red Sox propaganda), it's hard to argue with the man's playoff resume. He's started 17 games in the second season and has a career record of 9-2, with an earned run average of 2.23 and four complete games.

Josh Beckett, Schilling's teammate, might have something to say about all this when his career is over. He's been dominant in the post season as well. Though I do despise his little chin growth. It's hideous.

The Red Sox have their backs against the wall once again tonight, but Schilling's on the mound, and I don't think there's anyone else they want to give the ball to. Well, other than Beckett, but he can't pitch again, silly!Here's hoping for a Schilling/Red Sox win to force game seven. There's only one October, and there's only one game seven...

On to hockey - It's been an interesting week for the Toronto Maple Leafs. Monday night in Buffalo, in typical Leafs fashion, they blew a lead - three of them to be precise - and lost in overtime on an own goal by Bryan McCabe. The third period was certainly a doozy.

I must admit I really felt for McCabe after the game. Obviously, he didn't mean to do it and made a mistake. He's been getting ripped in the media already - The Star's Damien Cox really, really hates McCabe - and you just knew he was going to be the main target for the fans and the media after the gaffe.

I'll give McCabe credit for standing up and talking to the media on Wednesday after practice. He knew he was getting ripped and his message was the right one - Relax!

Maple Leafs fans are a fickle bunch. We're still way too early in the season to be passing judgement on this team. Sure, they've been maddeningly inconsistent, but again, it's early. Give them some time to work out the kinks. I'm not going to evaluate this team until Kyle Wellwood, Carlo Colaiacovo and Mark Bell are in the lineup. At least 20 games need to be in the bag before I think we can make a logical assessment on where this team stands.

I'm also tired of hearing about McCabe's $5.5 million dollar salary. It's just nonsensical that fans calling in to the talk shows keep bringing it up. If you're not happy about his contract, blame John Ferguson, don't blame Bryan McCabe. What was he supposed to do, blush and tell Ferguson it was worth too much? He signed what was OFFERED to him, fools.

I'm not sure why Leafs fans need someone else to boo when we've got Andrew Raycroft. On a serious note, the booing doesn't help anyone (not even Raycroft, the poor sap). These are our boys, this is our team, let's embrace them. McCabe bounced back with a solid game on Thursday night, scoring a goal and dishing out some hits. I wish Leafs fans would sit back, take a deep breath, and have some green tea. It's a long season. Seven games does not a season make. The Leafs picked up a point in Buffalo Monday night, so just shutup and take it. If Toronto had picked up a point late last year against Buffalo, when they blew a 4-1 lead in the third period (and ended up losing 5-4 in regulation), they would have made the playoffs. My point is, be happy with the bloody point. Let's think bigger picture here, folks...

Still on the Leafs, how about one Nik Antropov? Long gone it seems are the days when he was the guy getting booed at the Air Canada Centre.

Stupid Leafs fans. Now they love Antropov. He's got 11 points in eight games and has been the best Leafs forward so far this young season, along with Mats Sundin. He's playing with a ton of confidence and you can see it in his game. When he puts his mind to it, he can dominate. I said it last year, for what this guy brings to the team, at $2 million a year he's an incredible bargain. The patience the Leafs have shown with him may finally be starting to pay off, almost 10 years after he was a first round draft pick. If he can stay healthy, the sky's the limit...

How good are the Philadelphia Flyers looking early on this season? Talk about a quick turnaround. They were one of the league's worst teams last year, but they cleaned house and are showing signs that they could be an elite team, and fast. Daniel Briere is leading the charge with nine points and Martin Biron is looking more than solid in net. Philadelphia has always lacked goaltending, but they may have finally found a keeper in Biron. They're definitely looking like a playoff team.

Philly's got a record of five wins and only one loss. They've scored 25 goals in their 6 games and, most impressive of all, have only let in 10. To put that into perspective, the Maple Leafs usually let in 10 goals in about 5 periods of hockey...

The Chicago Blackhawks are in town to face the Leafs tonight and they arrive in Toronto with - surprise - a winning record. It's been a long, long time since the Blackhawks were any good. I don't even remember the last time they had a winning season. I'd have to Google it to find out. Give me a second.

Ok, it was the 2001/2002 season. Ouch.

The future, however, is looking mighty bright for the young Blackhawks. Patrick Kane, last year's first overall draft pick, is already leading the team in scoring with seven points in the teams first seven games. Not too shabby. Jonathan Toews, another highly touted young Canadian, has a point in each of the five games he's suited up for. And boy did he score a beauty last night. Goal of the season, so far. Make sure you catch SportsCenter or YouTube it. Trust it.

For Chicago, the kids are alright. It should be a good test for both the Leafs and the Hawks as they face off on Hockey Night in Canada...

And finally, is the NFL coming to Toronto? The short answer is, I think, yes, at least for a pre-season game. The Bills have asked for permission from the NFL to play an exhibition game in Toronto in 2008 and a regular season game in Toronto in 2009.

This issue has gotten a lot of play in the media over the last couple of days. Here's why the Bills wouldn't relocate their franchise to Toronto - they've got a better option in Los Angeles. The NFL isn't going to expand to Canada before they put a team back in L.A. It just doesn't make sense to not go back to a huge U.S. market like La La land and instead put a franchise in Canada.

Although I think Toronto is well-deserving of an NFL team, the Rogers Centre isn't the best place for it to call home. Ralph Wilson stadium in Buffalo has got capacity for crowds of more than 80,000. The Rogers Centre can only fit 55,000. And one thing is for certain, the arrival of the NFL in Toronto, whenever it does happen (and I do think it eventually will), will mean the end of the CFL. Everyone knows that.

However, my main concern in regards to the NFL coming to Toronto, and specifically the Rogers Centre, with its lack of parking near the stadium, is where the hell would we tailgate? It's all about priorities, people...