In praise of the doctor ...

No, not Roy Halladay. Not this (one) time.

I'm talking about Dr. James Andrews, of Birmingham, Alabama, doctor to the stars pitchers.

Dr. Andrews apparently has a monopoly on the burgeoning Tommy John surgery market, thanks in no small part to our Toronto Blue Jays, and up next is Jesse Litsch.

I can't say I'm surprised, so let's forget about Litsch for a second. Can J.P. Ricciardi sign Dr. Andrews? He might as well lock him up. Let the other, less experienced doctors work on the rest of baseball's broken pitchers. Hell, even throw in a no-trade clause, JFJ-style. There could be a press conference, where Dr. Andrews is presented with a jersey, and a cap. It'd be grand. The jersey would, of course, have "DR. ANDREWS" across the back.

Oh shut up, Brad Arnsberg haters. I don't want to hear it. Dr. Andrews has got to eat, too.

One day, in a ceremony at the Rogers Centre with the future president of the ball club (how's that search going, anyway?), the legendary Dr. Andrews will have his name, along with the final number of Tommy John surgeries he will have performed on Blue Jays players, rightfully honoured on the Blue Jays' Level of Excellence.

Inshallah, I will be there, on my feet in applause. Thank you, Dr. Andrews, for mending our wounded.

(See you in a bit, Jesse. Make sure you hit the treadmill.)

UPDATE: Here's Dr. Andrews' jersey. Although I have no idea how many TJ surgeries he's performed on Jays players, it looks pretty fly.

Musings:

At one time, it was Jesse Litsch. Then David Purcey (by default). Scott Richmond, for a bit. Maybe even Ricky Romero, just once. Now, the answer is unequivocal: Brian Tallet is the number two man behind Halladay. The Summer of Tallet, indeed ...

Jason Kapono for Reggie Evans. A post defender with a zeal for rebounding, for arguably the most one-dimensional player in the NBA. Rejoice! Although sadness is there, as this signals the end of the Pops Mensah-Bonsu era in Toronto. For shame ...

The MLB Draft happened. I didn't really care ...

The Toronto Maple Leafs have a new goaltending consultant coach: Francois Allaire. Now they just need a goalie ...

Garfoose! ...

In Arnsberg We Trust

What happens when you take a pitcher, one Robert Ray, who's made all of 16 starts in AA-ball and one in AAA-ball, and put him under the tutelage of Toronto Blue Jays pitching coach guru Brad Arnsberg?

You get an eight-inning, three hit, zero earned runs allowed performance against the Chicago White Sox, a lineup that includes Jermaine Dye, Paul Konerko, and Jim Thome. And the lowering of Ray's ERA to a smooth 3.60.

Sure, Ray's arm may soon fall off (oh fuck off, Arnie haters), but he'll be a better pitcher because of it.

(Zazzle, $21.95. Let me know if you want one.)

Deep Thoughts: The Franchise

Travis Snider's two home runs moon shots are still on their way to Winnipeg. I'm sure my good friends Dave and The Ack will let me know when they arrive. The baseball world is beginning to take notice of Sniderman. You know what I love about him? His home run trot. Stay classy, young man ...

One through six in the order (Scutaro, Hill, Rios, Wells, Lind and Rolen), no Toronto Blue Jay is batting less than .300. That Cito Gaston guy can really put together a lineup, eh? ...

Speaking of Marco Scutaro, he leads the league in runs scored and can be the starting shortstop, and leadoff hitter, on my team any day of the week. Viva Scutaro. Viva Venuezela ...

B.J. Ryan threw 12 pitches yesterday; eleven for strikes. That's the B.J. we know. The B.J. we love. Nails? Nails! And I'm sure Brad Arnsberg had something to do with it. "In Arnsberg We Trust" ...

Kevin SLOWey certainly lived up to his name last night, didn't he? Prick ...

I know Jesse Litsch's injury is forearm related but, seriously, would it have killed him to come into camp pink and efficient, but a little less rotund? I'm already feeling like he took his opportunity in 2009 for granted ...

In last night's eighth inning, Scott Downs allowed a leadoff double, and followed with a wild pitch. With none out and a man on third base, he proceeded to strike out the side, like the uber set-up man he is. Did you enjoy his tiny display of emotion after the fact? I sure as hell did. I heart Snakeface. What a hero ...

The Jays are in first place. The Boston Red Sox are in the basement. You're damned right I'm enjoying this ...

Pennant ...

Dead Presidents

Last week, The Tao of Stieb opined on Scott Rolen's choice of intro music.

Now, look, I admit it: I like Coldplay. But "Viva la Vida", while strolling up to the plate? I'm with the Tao; abort mission.

I'm also confident that Rolen's choice of intro music is all I'll be criticizing him for in 2009. The Greatest Blue Jay of All Time is batting .348, after all, and will be instrumental in Toronto's efforts to secure the pennant. Cito's boys are playing .714 baseball; we're well on our way, my friends.

And, no, I still don't want to talk about B.J. Ryan. Look, it's during times like these, when our closer is clearly struggling, that we must rally around him. Have some faith; believe in The Beej. Instead of calling for his head, and for him to be shipped to Vegas, trust that the man who saved 32 games for the Blue Jays last year is going to get his shit worked out. Remember, in Brad Arnsberg we trust. 

On an aside, In Arnsberg We Trust should really be on a t-shirt. I'd buy that. And rock it with pride.

Anyway, while I can criticize Rolen for choosing Coldplay, I wouldn't be able to do the same to someone who walks up to home plate with the following playing on the speakers ...