Finally ...

Yes. Vernon. Wells.

Last night marked the first time Wells homered and doubled in the same game this season. About bloody time, yo.

The performance was strong enough to send the Vernon Wells Hatred Advisory System spiralling down to ELEVATED. Keep the columns coming, Jerry Crasnick.

And how about Scott Richmond? What a Canadian ...

A goal worth $300 grand

Also falling in the "about bloody time" category, Pablo Vitti scored for Toronto FC. Seriously. Vitti. He scored. It's a fucking miracle.

Half the MLS season is through, and TFC sits a point out of first place in the East.

Yep: playoffs!1 ...

So ends the wait

It's NBA draft day. The folks at Raptors Republic, RaptorBlog, and Dino Nation Blog have got you covered.

I believe in Bryan Colangelo.

For all the wrong reasons

It's safe to say Jerry Crasnick does not believe in Vernon Wells.

If you haven't yet read Crasnick's inspired ESPN.com column on Toronto's beloved centre fielder, let me take you on a tour. And trust me, bring some Kleenex along for the ride. It's a tearjerker.

So saith Crasnick:

Since Opening Day 2007, Wells has a slugging percentage of .429 -- the same as Chris Duncan and Rickie Weeks. Among the players who are better: Melvin Mora, Kevin Kouzmanoff, Chris Snyder and Ronnie Belliard.

Chris Duncan makes $825 grand a season. Rickie Weeks, $2.45 million. Kouzmanoff, you ask? $432,400. Mora I know makes some coin, but I'm not even going to bother checking on Snyder and Belliard. I don't need the aggravation.

Over that same span, Wells has an on-base percentage of .317 -- the same as Jody Gerut and Brad Ausmus.

Seriously, Vernon, .317? Fuck. And it's always fun to see the star centre fielder compared to Gerut, who's batting an impressive .199 this season, and Ausmus, a 40-year-old backup catcher. Good times.

The money issue isn't going to abate anytime soon in Toronto. Wells' contract is heavily back-loaded, so the big financial hit is still to come for the Jays. He'll make $12.5 million in 2010, $23 million in 2011 and $21 million in each of the final three years of his deal.

This is where the Kleenex comes in handy.

Wells also has a full no-trade clause, and he'll be approaching age 36 when the contract winds down in 2014. Just imagine how he's going to feel when people say his money is standing in the way of Roy Halladay's signing a long-term deal in Toronto.

The Vernon Wells Hatred Advisory System would cease to exist as we know it if Wells ended up costing Toronto Doc. That scenario would essentially be Armageddon.

It's a depressing read. Wells' best season, 2003, was a long time ago. When some guy named Carlos Delgado, who hit 42 home runs and drove in 145 runs that year, was hitting behind V-Dub.

Well played, by Mr. Crasnick. I applaud his efforts. He did good; had me looking up Delgado's and Wells' 2003 situationals. But I believe in Vernon Wells. He's on a seven-game hitting streak. And I'm pot committed.

One more thing: playoffs!!!1