Selfish

For the most selfish of reasons, I'm happy Roy Halladay didn't no-hit the New York Yankees last night. Actually, perhaps happy isn't the right word. Let's go with relieved. If it happened - if Ramiro Pena didn't hit that double to right field in the sixth inning - while I chose not to be there, I'm not sure what I would have done with myself. (Other than be deeper down a bottle than I've ever been before.) I think I might have died.

Mission Doc - to be in attendance for every Roy Halladay start at the SkyDome this season - hit the wall last night. I don't know if it was because the Toronto Blue Jays have crushed my soul with their recent play, or because Doc has looked remarkably average while not throwing his best pitch while on the mound. Probably a combination of both. Instead of being in attendance, I was live blogging the game for The Score and, by the fifth inning, I knew I'd made the wrong decision. Doc was rightfully punishing my apathy.

Don't get me wrong, I'd have loved to see Doc throw a perfect game, or a no-hitter. Lord knows he's talented enough to do it. Before each and every start he makes, the thought crosses my mind: this could be it. And through five innings Friday night, I thought Doc's destiny had arrived.

Have you ever seen Doc pitch better? It might have been his finest hour. Against the high octane New York Yankees, the best team in baseball, no less. First-pitch strikes; ground ball after ground ball; mind-blowing movement on his pitches; a bases loaded strikeout, looking, of Alex Rodriguez. I know I've said it before, but what a treat Harry Leroy III is to watch.

A complete game, one-hit shutout. Nine strikeouts. Only 111 pitches; 73 of them strikes. Thanks, Doc. I'll never question you again.

Luckily for me, yesterday's game didn't hit the four hour mark. Otherwise I'd have been worried about my erection.

Kevin "You're Such A Disease" Millar

Drunk Jays Fans' Stoeten was kind of pissed off that Cito Gaston had everyone's favourite Blue Jay Kevin Millar batting cleanup last night. I think we can all agree that it makes zero sense for Millar to be in that position, while Randy Ruiz sits on the bench. While I'm certainly not aboard the "Fire Cito" train my man Drew-LtB is riding, I understand the frustration.

Anyway, there's no point in extolling just how God-awful Millar truly is. I'm sure he's a fine human being, and a dear in the clubhouse, but he's useless on the baseball field. Make him a bench coach, if he's that fucking great to have around. But get him off the field.

Now that Mark Rzepczynski's been shut down, I selfishly propose that Millar take his spot in the rotation. If he does, all will be forgiven. I could use some motivation to watch this team. And I sure as hell could use the entertainment.

So Long, JR

Growing up, Jeremy Roenick was the object of my affections. The man could do it all. Today, he retired. He'll never win a Stanley Cup. He'll never play for the Toronto Maple Leafs. He wanted badly to do both. Life is cruel.

But Roenick had a marvelous career, and his greatness was best personified in NHL 94.

If you've seen this already, my apologies. If not, sit back, and enjoy.

We all pulled those moves. The ridiculous bodychecks, the backhands, the one-timers while not even facing the net, and, of course, the slap shot after cutting across the blue; that one was my favourite. Much like at the 1:55 mark, I too tried to knock the net off from behind after I'd scored. Good times.

Above all else, Roenick loved to play hockey. Here's hoping he remains in the game, in some capacity. The NHL could use a new commissioner.

Scott Downs: the type of guy you take home to meet mom...

My man crush on Blue Jays uber relief pitcher Scott Downs continues to intensify, especially after his marvelous performance Saturday night down in Texas.

Downs is a straight rudey. I thought, and still think, that he should have been an all star. The guy has been dynamite out of the 'pen for the Jays all year, and Saturday was no exception.

Downs entered the game in relief of A.J. Burnett and went two and a third innings, facing seven hitters, and retiring them all. He lowered his team leading ERA to 1.37 and hasn't allowed a run since July 5th. He's also held opposing hitters to a paltry .202 batting average. The much-maligned J.P. Ricciardi deserves some serious props for locking Downs up and having him become an integral part of the bullpen. Downs has done nothing but deliver.

I fucking love Scott Downs.

I know, the Blue Jays can't hold a lead for their lives and lost two out of three deep in the heart of Texas, but, well, I don't want to talk about it. I'd rather focus on the few positives I've got left, like my main man Downs. He makes the Jays' dance with the .500 mark a little easier to deal with.