Deep Thoughts: 5:00 am

In no particular order ...

1. Chris Chelios loves playing hockey. So much so that the 47-year-old refused to sign with an NHL team in a limited role, and chose to continue riding the bus in the minors. I used to hate Chelios. I don't really, anymore. Life is short. I like to think that if I was professional hockey player, and had a career that mirrored his, I'd be doing exactly what Chelios is doing. I hope he plays forever.

2. I have no plans to travel by air to the USA over the next little while. But I'm already looking forward to that security check. As someone with brown skin born in Kuwait City, it's going to be a hoot.

3. Fuck. Tomas. Plekanec. I traded him in my fantasy keeper league last season. For nothing. And he was one of my four keepers. After posting 69 points in 2007/2008, I figured he was ready to break out in 2008/2009. But he struggled. Put up only 39 points. And I, shockingly, showed remarkably little patience. Today he's seventh in league scoring with 44 points, and it physically hurts to see him sitting in the top-10. To add more misery to my life, a staggering 18 of his points have come on the power play - more points on the PP than Henrik Sedin, Sidney Crosby, Alex Ovechkin, Nicklas Backstrom and Dany Heatley. And you know what? I could have used those valuable power play fantasy points, instead of relying on the the Brian Rolstons, Cory Stillmans and Marco Sturms of the fantasy hockey world.

4. Speaking of my fantasy team, keeper Brad Boyes has one fewer goal than everyone's favourite Toronto Maple Leaf, and soon to be unrestricted free agent, Lee Stempniak. In his career, Boyes has registered seasons of 26, 17, 43 and 33 goals. He's on pace to finish his current campaign with 19. He needs to find his God damn equilibrium. Regardless, I'm in a pickle. Moving forward, do I keep him? As of today, my four best fantasy points performers are Sidney Crosby (1365 points), Tomas Vokoun (1031 points), Jamie Langenbrunner (855 points), and Brooks Laich (745 points). Laich's no keeper; he's been awful after getting off to a great start. I'm leaning towards keeping Matt Duchene; 24 points (630 pool points) as an 18-year-old is nothing to sneeze at. In conclusion: fuck both Boyes and Plekanec.

5. As I grow older, I care less and less about the NFL. And I'm totally at peace with this development.

6. Does Sidney Crosby still live at Mario Lemieux's place? I ask in all seriousness. Because if he does, he's not allowed to be captain of Team Canada. You must live in your own place to captain Team Canada. Enough's enough. Otherwise he'll never leave.

7. I'm sure you already noticed, but the Vernon Wells Hatred Advisory System has been lowered to GUARDED. He does yeoman's work in the community, and for those less privileged, and deserves some props for it. Look within your heart; you can learn to love Wells again. Just let him in. I have.

8. Does anyone know how much the Olympic Torch Relay costs? My attempts to find out (read: I googled it) have so far been unsuccessful. I understand the desire to unite this massive country behind the Vancouver games, but the whole production seems like a giant waste of money. And a giant waste of news time, too. I guess when the Olympics cost that much money, what's a few million more?

9. Have you seen highlights of Pat Quinn recently? He looks like he could use a scotch. A double. Coaching the Edmonton Oilers does not seem to be a lot of fun.

10. Inspired by MF37 at Bitter Leaf Fan Page, the best book I read in 2009 was, without a doubt, A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry. The runner-up: Imperial Life in the Emerald City; Inside Iraq's Green Zone by Rajiv Chandrasekaran.

11. The sample size (15 games, 14 starts) is about half that of most starting NHL goalies, but Tuukka Rask's save percentage is a sterling .933. Vesa Toskala can't even dream a save percentage that impressive. It's looking more and more like the team that drafted Rask 21st overall in the 2005 draft - behind guys like Benoit Pouliot (4th overall), Glibert Brule (6th overall), Brian Lee (9th overall), Marek Zagrapan (13th overall), Sasha Pokulok (14th overall), Ryan O'Marra (15th overall), Alex Bourret (16th overall), Ryan Parent (18th overall), Jakuk Kindl (19th overall), and Kenndal McArdle (20th overall) - got a steal. Hey, Pat Quinn, pass the scotch.

12. It's amazing how quickly some of my fellow Leafs fans forget that Jason Blake had the second-best season of his career in 2008/2009. His career.

13. I wonder what the money line is on whether Janet Napolitano will resign ...

14. I enjoy watching Nazem Kadri play, but Canada's first two games at the World Junior Tournament were boring to watch. It's not Team Canada's fault. What are they supposed to do, not score? This one falls on the tournament organizers.

15. The Toronto Raptors have played more games than just about every other team in the NBA, but their 15-17 record has them in playoff position. The 6th seed, to be exact. Seed number three? The Orlando Magic. Vince Carter. Perhaps it's because I'm a glutton for punishment, but I want this to happen.

16. Who's your starter - Jose Calderon or Jarrett Jack? I still have faith in Jose. Although the Jack signing, with Calderon injured again, might be more important, at this point, than the Hedo Turkoglu signing.

17. Cheers, and Happy New Year. Thanks for reading in 2009. You'll never fully understand my gratitude. Here's to 2010 ...

Keepers

NHL general managers aren't the only ones making difficult roster decisions these days. I had to lock up four guys in my Yahoo! Sports keeper league last night, and I agonized over the decision. A lot more than I probably should have. Then again, this is the closest I'm ever going to get to running a franchise, and there's a decent chunk of money on the line - 20 guys at $125 a piece.

I finished third out of 20 last season and in the process, in what's becoming a disturbing trend, traded away my first, second, and fourth round picks in 2009, and my third and sixth round picks in 2010. Thankfully I finished in a money position (top five), otherwise I might have had to fire myself from my post.

It's not all rainbows and sunshine though; the way our league works is that draft picks must be traded for draft picks. For my 2009 first, second, and fourth round picks I received two 12th round picks (out of 12 rounds), and an eighth round pick, respectively, in return. For the 2010 third and sixth rounders, two 12th round picks came back my way.

I may have mortgaged the future. This might be a rebuilding season.

Since we all consider ourselves to be fantasy hockey aficionados, I'm curious as to how you might have made my decision differently. Below is the roster I had to pick four players from, and each player's respective fantasy points ...

Forwards:

Sidney Crosby - 2830

Brad Boyes - 1985

Todd White - 1960

Alex Kovalev - 1820

Jason Blake - 1725

Kris Versteeg - 1580

Shawn Horcoff - 1485

Mikhail Grabovski - 1255

Andrew Ebbett - 855

Defence:

Nicklas Lidstrom - 1845

Shea Weber - 1485

Filip Kuba - 1150

Carlo Colaiacovo - 850

Goalies:

Marty Turco - 1825

Ilya Bryzgalov - 1747

Which four would you take? And, no, I haven't a clue as to how Todd White put up 73 points, including 34 on the power play, last season. But there's no way he can do it again. Right?

My selections: Crosby; tough call. Boyes; if he can work on his atrocious -20, he's good for at least 2000 points. Lidstrom; the game's top fantasy defenceman. And Weber; high-scoring defenceman are at a premium.

I flipped a coin between Weber and Turco. Marty was awful last season, yet he still put up more than 1800 pool points. It was a best-of-seven coin toss. Who am I to argue with gravity? Weber one, four-two.

It was tough to see Jason Blake go back into the draft; #55's my guy. Kovalev, too. But he's simply too hit and miss; too moody. Versteeg's a player on the rise, and Turco and Bryz are both number one goalies.

The way I see it, Crosby's the equivalent of two solid guys up front, and Boyes might be even better on an improving St. Louis team. Forwards who can put up 1500 points are available in abundance; I'm releasing five of them. Drafting a goalie will certainly be a priority and, if all else fails, I'm sure Ray Emery will be available. Barring injury, I'll have one of the league's most potent defence cores thanks to Weber and Lidstrom.

It all means two things: one of Lidstrom and Weber will surely suffer a season-ending injury in October, and Kovalev's going to rip it in Ottawa.

Fantasy Hockey Fail

Honestly, nothing hurts quite like fucking up in fantasy hockey. It haunts you. A small piece of me dies each time I hear the name "Dennis Wideman."

Earlier this season I dropped Wideman, the steady Boston Bruins defenseman, from my fantasy hockey team. 

It gets worse. 

I dropped him for San Jose Sharks d-man Christian Ehrhoff.

I drafted Wideman. I felt like he was going to improve on his 36 point 2007/2008 season, and benefit from playing on a decent Boston team. Well, he certainly has.

I can't say I thought the Bruins would be this good. And while I was high on Wideman, I didn't think he'd be this good, either. But that doesn't make it any easier. He used to be mine. I let him go. Now I'm paying the price; sitting quietly by my window, and thinking about him.

In 45 games this season, Wideman has 31 points (9 goals, 22 assists), and is a whopping +26. Twenty of those points have come on the power play.

To make sure I was reminded how much of an idiot I am, Wideman scored last night against the Toronto Maple Sucks. It was a power play goal, of course.

And Ehrhoff? I dropped his ass. After starting the season with 16 points in twenty games, he's tallied a goal and two assists since November 22nd. Fuck Christian Ehrhoff.

I'm sitting in fourth place in my pool. There's a substantial amount of money to be won. Had I kept Wideman, I'd probably be in second, or close to it. Had I kept Wideman, and had Tomas Plekanec not morphed into a useless piece of Montreal Canadiens shit, I might even be challenging for first.

You live and learn, I guess. At least I now know what John Ferguson Jr. feels like.

Still, I need a drink.