Matt Garza is a Toronto Blue Jays killer. Last night he, once again, bitch slapped our boys. In four starts against the Jays this year, Garza has allowed a paltry one run in 31 innings.
One run. In 31 innings. That is ridiculous.
Sure, Garza is a good young pitcher, but I. Don't. Get. It. Why can't we hit this guy? He has thoroughly dominated the Jays his last three times out, and has got a Scott Downs-like 24 1/3 innings shutout streak going against the local nine.
Really, Garza, what the fuck? Over the course of the season, he's lost to American League bitches like the Seattle Mariners, Baltimore Orioles, Kansas City Royals (twice!), and Cleveland Indians (twice!). But he sure as fuck loves pitching against the Blue Jays.
I don't know, maybe Garza's pissed because we tossed him around like a cheap hooker in his Major League debut last year when he was with the Twins, but, well, shit. Enough with the payback, man.
I hate you, Matt Garza.
And poor David Purcey. He was, uh, dynamite last night. It's a shame he took the complete-game loss. Poor little Purcey.
The Jays' loss, combined with another win by the Red Sox, means we're nine...it means I'm drinking.
August 28, 2008
Matt Mother Fucking Garza
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