August 02, 2007

Deep Thoughts

For my loyal readers - yes, all two of you - I'm pleased to report that The Poni Express has officially arrived. I got paid. $100 cool, crisp, easily-earned dollars. Well, I wouldn't say too easily. It came down to the wire. Thanks to my boy 40, for being a man of his word, and thanks to my main man Alexei Ponikarovsky for coming through with 21 goals. I believe in the Poni. He's gonna pot 30 this year.

Anyways, much has been going on in the sporting world recently - it's almost been overwhelming. It's time for SportsAndTheCity to weigh in with his two cents on the happenings in the sporting world.

I think Michael Vick is one of the dumbest men on the planet. The dog fighting scandal, which could potentially take away his freedom, will, if it hasn't already, become his legacy. Vick got himself into this situation, and is therefore an idiot. He deserves whatever the justice system throws at him, including jail time and a prolonged suspension from the NFL, if he is found guilty. I am by no means a fan of dogs, or pets for that matter, but even I wouldn't do what he supposedly did to the dogs mentioned his indictment. Idiot...

I think the Toronto Blue Jays season is officially over. The Jays won five in a row before embarking on a six-game road trip to the south side of Chicago and sunny Florida. Six games against the lowly White Sox and the ever-pathetic Devil Rays. This was prime time for the Jays to make their run. I'm talking Deion Sanders "Primetime" - you know, hopping into the end zone. But the Jays went two-and-four on the trip. Losing two of three to the White Sox I can understand, but dropping two of three to the Devil Rays is absolutely unacceptable, especially at this time of the season. The Jays scored eight runs in three games against Tampa Bay, whose pitchers own the worst E.R.A. in all of baseball. Pathetic. Bring out the salami and cheese Chuck Swirsky, this baseball season is over mama...

I think Josh Towers is the ultimate tool. This guy's got some nerve calling out his teammates and the coaching staff, which he did in Chicago last week. I don't care how competitive Towers is, a man that owns a 5-8 win-loss record and a horrific 5.17 E.R.A. has absolutely no right calling out anybody. Not even Royce freakin' Clayton. Take a look in the God damn mirror, Towers. I wish I could take a vaudevillian hook and just yank Towers off the Blue Jays' roster. If you don't know what a vaudevillian hook is, Google it...

I think, uh oh, the Boston Celtics are going to be mighty good this coming season. Celtic pride? Yeah, I'd say so. I'm not ready, however, to hand them the Atlantic Division title. Like Jerry told George when George wanted to be his Latex Salesman - "I don't think so." Not after my Toronto Raptors worked their asses off to claim the title last year. Regardless of Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen and Paul Pierce (say it with the Boston accent with me - Powl Pieeeeaace) in Beantown, this is still the Raptors' division to lose. Allen and Pierce are historically injury prone, so one of them is bound to go down. And I don't know what everyone else is thinking, but there's only one ball to go around for those three all-stars. That could pose a problem. The Raptors have the deepest bench in the Eastern Conference and that is their strength. The Celtics, meanwhile, have no bench. They traded everyone away to land The Big Ticket - Kevin Garnett. Great nickname, by the way. Anyhow, the Raps' bench will step up and deliver Toronto its second-straight division title. You heard it here first, my friends...

I think I hate Barry Bonds. Actually check that, I know I hate him. It hasn't set in that Bonds - the "big-headed one" as Pete McGentegart of Sports Illustrated's the 10 Spot calls him - is only one home run away from Hark Aarons hallowed 755. Bonds has been a jerk to the media and the fans his entire career, is a full-fledged cheater, was already destined to go to the Hall of Fame before he started juicing, and is just a miserable individual to be around. He doesn't appreciate that he is a man playing a boy's game. He's ungrateful, and that's the worst trait a professional athlete can possess, in my humble opinion. I know it's terrible, but here's hoping Barry Bonds meets with an unfortunate accident before he hits number 756...

I think I don't understand what the rest of Toronto sees in Matt Stajan. There was an article in The Star saying that if Mike Peca stays with the Leafs, then Matt Stajan goes. Now that headline made me put on my dancing shoes, like R. Kelly. Everyday I log onto The Star's website hoping to learn that Stajan has finally been traded. It seems, however, that I'm in the minority when it comes to this dream. A recent poll in the Toronto Star showed that 69% of Torontonians would choose Matt Stajan over Mike Peca. The results of the poll are mind-boggling to me. All I can ask is - like Jerry Seinfeld asked the girl whom he was seeing when he found out she had gone out with Newman, with an exasperated look on his face - "why!?" And I don't want to hear "because he's younger." Stajan's age - he'll be 24 this December, while Peca is 33 - doesn't make him skate any faster, give him a harder slapshot, or make him a better hockey player. Someone please tell me what Stajan has to offer to next season's Leafs squad? Peca is a better all-around player who I have no doubt can score as many goals as Stajan did last year - 10. Peca is also a better face-off man, a better defensive player, a grittier player, and a better penalty killer. Forget about their respective ages, and there's no way anyone can tell me that Matt Stajan offers more to the Leafs than Mike Peca. 2079 people would rather have Stajan, compared to only 929 who want Peca, in The Star poll. Basically, 69% of Leafs fans are out of their minds. I hate Stajan...

I think it would be an absolute travesty if David Beckham doesn't play in this weekends match in Toronto, with the L.A. Galaxy in town to visit Toronto FC. Scalpers are selling tickets to the game for billions, and it just wouldn't be right for people to shell out so much coin and not see Beckham spend a minute on the pitch. I understand that he's injured, but without playing a single regular season game he is already the face of the league, and has a responsibility to his team, the league and it's fans. Eight out of the sixteen sellouts in Major League Soccer this year are courtesy of Toronto FC fans. I had a chance to visit BMO Field for Toronto's friendly with English club Aston Villa, and I must say the atmosphere is great. The sight lines in the stadium are all good, and it's clear to me why soccer is already a hit in this city. The MLS All-Star game is coming to Toronto next year, and rightfully so. Come one Beckham, make like a hockey player, suck it up, and get your ass in the lineup...

I think I love fantasy sports. We held our draft tonight for the keeper hockey league I'm in, and it was a blast. My brother is the commissioner of the fantasy league we all devote so much time to, and he's done a fabulous job, I must say. A lot of work goes into a keeper league, but it's great fun, and an even better time-waster. I finished second last year, and traded away most my draft picks for this coming season in the process. I gave up the farm, as they say. My newly drafted team stinks, but the rebuilding process won't be long, I hope. I'm blessed to have the wonder-boy Sidney Crosby, so hopefully my stay at the bottom of the league won't last long. It's unbelievable that fantasy sports are a $1 billion dollar industry today. Although it certainly isn't surprising. It's the closest I'll ever get to managing my own hockey team...

I think the Boston Red Sox are the team to beat in the American League. Their bullpen is off the heezy, with Hideki Okajima, the newly acquired Canadian Eric Gagne, and Jonathan Papelbon. Their staff E.R.A. is the best in the game, and now innings seven, eight and nine will be lights out 95% of the time. A great trade to land Gagne, I must say. The Red Sox and Yankees know no limits. Boston is the team to beat. I'm jealous. Sigh... I think it's extremely interesting that no one Jose Canseco accused of taking steriods/performance-enhancing drugs in his book last year has even tried to sue him. Cough! - I'm lookin at you Barry Bonds - Cough! Usually, when someone says an author or person has lied, they sue him or her for libel. Yet Canseco has no subpoena's to deal with, and is getting ready to publish his second book. I think that's bait... I think I'm tired, and it's time for bed...

Goodnight, Toronto.

1 comments:

Forty said...

Wanna put a bet on the 30????