Drought

"Hockey is a man's game. The team with the most real men wins."

- Brian Burke

I'm quite certain that's not the case. The team that scores the most goals usually wins.

The honeymoon's over. They said the Toronto Maple Leafs would struggle to score goals. They were right.

It's not all bad news, though. Five wins in October is a whole lot better than one. And while the power play is languishing at 11.9%, the Leafs are killing 84.8% of their penalties. I'd wager that's the most successful they've ever been in that endeavor since Ron Wilson took over behind the bench. And, yes, both J.S. Giguere's .910 and Jonas Gustavsson's .920 save percentages have a lot to do with said success. I don't know about you, but I'd much rather the Leafs struggle on the power play than play shorthanded as if they're a beer league squad. Lord knows they can't be effective at both aspects of special teams.

Both keepers have been solid. Jiggy's .912 save percentage (31 saves on 34 shots) when the Leafs are a man short -- the anti-Toskala -- is exactly the type of goaltending the Leafs need. It must continue. Monster's .932 save percentage five-on-five is making me believe he just might be the next one.

But, yeah, the offence. I'm not worried. I probably should be, but I'm not. As long as Tim Brent and Colton Orr have more goals -- two -- than Nikolai Kulemin (one), Kris Versteeg (one), Tyler Bozak (one), and Mikhail Grabovski (zero), the Maple Leafs will continue to lose. But let's get real. Brent and Orr won't outscore those guys for long, no matter the NHL's policy on goaltender interference.

Ottawa's in town on Tuesday. I can't imagine a better night for a few of Burke's good men to break out of their respective slumps.

Reuters image, via daylife.

The Oregon Trail

I've always wanted to do this. I figured, what better day to make it happen than the day before the Toronto Maple Leafs begin the 2010/2011 regular season with a trashing of the Montreal Canadiens. Ladies and gentlemen, Brian Burke and the Toronto Maple Leafs hit The Oregon Trail. Think of it as a microcosm of the Leafs' journey towards the promised land; towards Lord Stanley's Cup.

If you don't know what The Oregon Trail is, I'm old, and may God have mercy on your soul. Let's do this.

To begin, we've got three choices. To be:

1) A banker from Boston.
2) A carpenter from Ohio.
3) A farmer from Illinois.

Brian Burke's from Rhode Island, which is pretty much Boston. And while he's a lawyer, he's general manager of the Maple Leafs, with millions upon millions at his disposal, which in Oregon Trail speak makes him a banker.

The four Maple Leafs traveling with Mr. Burke are:

Phil Kessel. After dealing two first-round picks, and more, to get him, Burke's fate is tied to #81's. Dion Phaneuf. Acquired in another trade, he's now Burke's captain. Tyler Bozak. Burke's prized collegiate free-agent signing who's now expected to be a legit number one center. And, last but certainly not least, Tomas Kaberle. For my own sentimental reasons.

The journey to Oregon begins in April. Ironic, considering that's when the 2010/2011 Maple Leafs so desperately want to be playing their best any hockey. Before they set out, with $1,600 to spend, supplies had to be bought. And being the richest banker from Boston certainly helped in this regard. Burkie made it rain.

Two oxen to a yoke. Three were recommended, but Burke bought four. Two-hundred pounds of food were recommended for the team. Burke bought 250. Yes, one of Burke's priorities had been to change the culture around the Maple Leafs, and he would, but they had to eat. Also: Burke had to spend most of his money, otherwise deal with annoying fan unrest. Ten sets of clothes were recommended. Burke bought 15. Think of it as new jerseys for each person half-way through the journey. Twenty boxes of 200 bullets were bought. Burke's an avid hunter, yo. Throw in two wagon wheels, two wagon axles, and two wagon tongues, and the Maple Leafs were set to go, with $1,140 left under The Oregon Trail cap.

Before the Maple Leafs wagon set off for glory, Burke had to set the pace: steady, strenuous, or grueling? With the Kessel trade, Burke had given building steadily through the draft the middle finger. Two of them, actually. One for each first-round pick. So, the pace was obvious: Grueling. The Leafs' road to the Stanley Cup wasn't going to go down Chicago Blackhawks or Pittsburgh Penguins style. Burke was doing it his way, and fast.

What about meals?

Bare bones. From day one, Burke had set about changing the culture of the Toronto Maple Leafs. For far too long had players in the Maple Leafs dressing room been eating filling meals.

On April 2nd, the journey began, and 102 miles into Toronto's quest, they came upon the Kansas River crossing. Burke didn't bother to look around; the team's ultimate goal lay thousands of miles away.

Burke had three options:

1) Ford the river: pull his wagon across the shallowest part of the 5.7 feet deep, and 635 feet wide, Kansas River, with his oxen still attached.
2) Caulk the wagon: seal his wagon so that no water could get in, and then float the wagon across the river.
3) Use a ferry: have the Leafs' wagon placed on a boat and sail it across the river.

Burke, a tall man full of confidence, wanted to ford the river. But with deep MLSE pockets at his disposal, he chose to caulk his wagon, and take fewer risks. I know, not very Burke like. Rumour has it he was overruled by the suits upstairs at MLSE. Always meddling, those guys.

Regardless, it worked.

From the Kansas River crossing, it was 83 miles to the Big Blue River crossing. The Leafs made it in no time, having traveled 185 miles up until that point. Their health fair, and the weather warming up, Burke decided to throw them a bone. Rations were changed from bare bones to meager. Meals were "small, but adequate."

The Big Blue River was only 245 feet across, and 4.4 feet deep in the middle. Burke, carrying a ton of gear, once again went the conservative route. The Leafs caulked the river, with no problems, and set off for Fort Kearney, 119 miles away.

Still on the grueling pace they set out with, the Leafs made it to Fort Kearney in no time, and Burke chose to carry on, right away. It was 250 miles to Chimney Rock, and the team's health was fair.

On April 11th, the Leafs faced their first test. With hot weather rolling through the Midwest, one of the oxen was injured. That's life in the NHL, on The Oregon Trail. Burke was prepared, having bought four oxen, and he summoned one from the farm to step up and fill the void.

On April 12th, some more bad news: Phil Kessel was suffering from cholera. The man Burke traded two first-round picks, and more, for, was in ill health. Burke was not a happy man. A day later, the team's morale down, and in the hopes of improving his young sniper's health, Burke slowed the team's pace from grueling, to steady. Kessel's well-being was paramount, Burke told Oregon Trail reporters.

To ease his troubled mind, Burke went hunting, and it went well. Seventy-two of meat pounds well, to be exact.

His team feeling better, Burke's Leafs set off once more. On April 20th, 66 miles from their next landmark, their health had improved to fair. Spirits were high, and, on April 24th, the Leafs arrived at Chimney Rock, where they proceeded to rest for a couple of days. Team bonding exercise, Burke said. Gives everyone a chance to get to know each other a little better. On April 26th, the Leafs' wagon was back on the trail, 86 miles out of Fort Laramie.

They arrived on May 1st, the weather fair, along with the team's health. But they were low on food. With $1,140 left in cap space, Burke visited the market, and picked up 200 more pounds.

From Fort Laramie, it was 190 miles to Independence Rock.

Along the way, Burke stopped to hunt. As general manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs, Burke promised himself he would never stop hunting for ways to make his team better. On this particular occasion, it didn't go so well.

On May 5th, Phil Kessel got lost, costing the Leafs one day. At least he was feeling better, Burke told himself.

On May 9th, the Leafs' wagon went down the wrong trail, and cost themselves another day. It was all part of the process, Burke told reporters. A team had to get lost before it could find its way.

On May 16th, Dion Phaneuf came down with dysentery. Dysentery! Not cool. With his captain suffering from severe diarrhea, fever, and abdominal pain, Burke rested his troops for two full days. They set out again on May 18th, and arrived at Independence Rock on May 23rd, having traveled 830 miles. Only 32 pounds of food remained.

At Independence Rock, Burke put on his trading hat. He had his boys at a steady pace, and was feeding them meager rations, but he needed some food. Burke was offered 197 bullets for one set of clothing. No deal. Another GM came at him asking for 201 pounds of food. Like first-round draft picks, Burke didn't have that amount. Another offer: 53 pounds of food for one box of ammunition. Burke didn't have 53 pounds of food! He was incredulous. A fourth offer: two wagon wheels for one ox. Burke declined. He was focused on food. Finally, he found a deal worth making: one wagon axle for 45 pounds of food. Deal.

On May 29th, the Leafs set off for South Pass. Buoyed by the trade, and another few days rest, Burke decided to use his rifle some more. He did even better this time ...

Burke killed a total of 1,001 pounds of meat. Unfortunately, he was only able to carry 100 pounds back to the Leafs' wagon. So it goes. With only 115 pounds of food left, Burke set rations back to bare bones. "If you want it, you've got to earn it. You've got to stay hungry, and pay the price," he told the beat grunts. On May 31st, Burke had another successful hunting outing: 55 pounds of meat.

On June 3rd, still on their way to South Pass, Kessel came down with a fever. Burke elected to rest his men for one day. Kessel was a star, after all. And Burke had to take care of his stars.

On June 5th, more bad news: one of the oxen had died. The one who'd been called up from the minors. It had given its all. On the same day, after the oxen who was in the lineup on opening night was activated from the injured list, the Leafs' wagon stumbled upon an abandon wagon, with 42 bullets inside. Finders keepers, Burke told himself. Three days later, Burke learned from reporters that it was the Vancouver Canucks' wagon he'd found, and that Canucks GM Mike Gillis had lodged a formal complaint with the league. He wanted his 42 bullets back.

On June 5th, less than a week away from South Pass, the Leafs' health was fair, their pace steady. Then, on June 10th, suddenly, tragedy:

As soon as he'd arrived, Phil Kessel was gone. No rhyme or reason. Not even an explanation. One day he was fine, and his cholera was a thing of the past. The next, he was gone. Brian Burke, and Kessel's teammates, especially Bozak, were inconsolable. But Burke refused to let grief consume them. He ordered the Leafs to move on, and on June 11th, they arrived at South Pass.

Rattled by the sudden passing of Kessel, Burke gave the team a few days off. In the meanwhile, he tried to land some more food via the trade route. He finally got a half decent offer -- one set of clothing for 35 pounds of food -- and accepted.

On June 15th, halfway through their journey, their pace steady and their rations still bare bones, the Leafs took off once again. And it was here that Burke was faced with an important decision: head for Fort Bridger, or the Green River Crossing. Needing to stock up on food, it was a no-brainer. To the fort, 125 miles away.

On June 18th, with the team running out of water, and in poor health, Burke stopped to hunt. Of course, he didn't return empty-handed. He threw 100 pounds of bear meat into the wagon. And, now that Kessel was gone, Burke increased rations for his team from bare bones to meager. Kessel would have wanted it that way.

On June 28th, 1057 miles into their journey, Burke and the Leafs arrived at Fort Bridger. Burke, in an ornery mood as usual, bought one ox, and 500 pounds of food. With over $885 still left to spend, never would his Maple Leafs go hungry again.

From Fort Bridger, it was 162 miles to Soda Springs, and, after losing the trail, and one day in the process, Burke set his wagon's pace to strenuous. His troops were eating better, so they might as well move a little faster. On July 8th, the Leafs lost the trail once again, and this time lost five days. Had coach Ron Wilson been on the wagon, he'd have surely been fired that day.

Finally, on July 14th, the Leafs arrived at Soda Springs. The weather was hot, and the team's health fair. Over 1,200 miles had been logged by the hard-working oxen. But it was only 57 miles to Fort Hall, so Toronto's wagon kept on moving. At Fort Hall, Burke bought one wagon axle, and 200 pounds of food. With his team's health fair, Burke changed their pace back to steady. Phil Kessel still weighed heavily on his mind. Two first-round picks, yo. Tyler Seguin! It put things in perspective. There was no rush. Slow and steady wins the race.

From Fort Hall, it was 182 miles to the Snake River Crossing. And this is where I, Navin, thought to myself: "This game seemed a helluva lot shorter in elementary school."

On July 22nd, Tomas Kaberle was suffering from exhaustion. Such a gamer, the Czech defenceman. In Kessel's absence, it was Kaberle who picked up the slack. Burke noticed, and promptly gave the team five days rest. He was taking no chances. On July 27th, the sun beating down, and the team's health fair, the Leafs' wagon returned to the trail.

On August 11th, after losing the trail for three days, the Leafs, tired but with plenty of food, made it to Snake River crossing. They'd traveled just under 1,500 miles. The Snake River was 1,000 feet across, and six feet deep. Burke took the latter as an omen, and, thanks to his deep pockets, hired a Native-Indian to guide the Leafs across the river. The Shoshoni guide asked for three sets of clothing in return. Deal, said Burke, and the Leafs' wagon made it across the river without issue.

Having crossed Snake River, it was 114 miles to Fort Boise, and Burke's Leafs lost one day, August 15th, thanks to heavy fog. That same day, Kaberle broke his leg. Poor Tomas, Burke thought. He just can't catch a break. (Pardon the pun.) Burke decided to rest the group for four days. He needed Kaberle for the stretch run.

On August 26th, an ox went down to injury, once again. It was the same ox that had been injured earlier in the journey, and it blamed the Leafs' trainers for rushing it back into action. Two days later, the ox was dead. Burke may have killed it. We'll never know.

On August 30th, 1,257 miles in the books, his team in poor health, and the weather turning cool, Burke's Leafs arrived at Fort Boise.

Fort Boise was the second-last fort on the journey. Even though Burke was carrying 346 pounds of food, he bought 300 pounds more, and changed his team's rations to filling. It was the stretch run; they were going to eat well. Burke also bought two oxen, and still had over $560 to spend. Think of Fort Boise as the trade deadline. Burke did. And he stocked up. The Leafs were going to do it for Phil Kessel, and stitched a massive 81 to the top of their wagon.

A hundred and sixty miles from the Blue Mountains, on August 30th, Bozak came down with cholera. Burke trudged on. On September 2nd, one of the oxen was injured. Burke knew he had to rest, and set up shop for five days. With time of the essence, Burke changed his wagon's pace to strenuous as he returned to the trail on September 7th.

On September 16th, the Leafs made it to the Blue Mountains. It was getting colder, but the team was in good spirits, having covered 1,732 miles. Again, Burke was faced with a decision: head for the Dulles River, or Fort Walla Walla.

For once, Burke went against his gut. He chose Fort Walla Walla, only 55 miles away. He did it for Kessel. He didn't want to lose Bozak, or Kaberle, or his captain, Dion.

On September 19th, his team's health extremely poor, Burke's wagon pulled into Fort Walla Walla. With 400 pounds of food still left, Burke bought 200 pounds more. He'd never run out. Thanks to a fanbase that supposedly won't support a rebuild, but that filled the building through the Raycroft and Toskala eras, Burke had cash to burn.

From Fort Walla Walla, it was 120 miles to the Dulles River. But Kaberle was breaking down. Burke knew it. On September 20th, Kaberle was bit by a snake. The snake was named, oddly enough, Cam Janssen. Tomas soldiered on. He was a veteran. And, deep down, Burke was proud of him. Proud that he'd not traded #15, and proud that he'd brought him on The Oregon Trail.

On September 27th, Burke and his boys reached the Dulles River. The weather was warm, their health poor, but they'd made it. Nobody reached the Dulles in good health. The Oregon Trail was a war. The toughest trail to conquer in professional sports. With over 500 pounds of food to spare, and having traveled over 1,900 miles, Burke gave the Leafs two days off, before their final journey. Before game seven.

From the Dulles, the trail divided once more. Burke had a decision: float down the Columbia River, or take the Barlow toll road. He'd come too far. And, at many times, conservatively. He was a Maple Leaf, through and through, however, and Burke led his Leafs to the banks of the Columbia River.

Countless rocks and boulders. Burke and the Leafs dodged them all.

On September 29th, they arrived in Oregon. They'd made it. The Toronto Maple Leafs were Oregon Trail champions. And they did it for Phil Kessel.

(No)Playoffs!!!1

Greetings from chaotic Jaipur, "The City of Victory." Lord only knows Toronto will never be bestowed such a prestigious title.

I'm killing time; waiting to board a 10:30 pm overnight train to Udaipur. I thought, with NHL action having returned, it would be as good a time as any to take a peak at the standings. I haven't had a look since I skipped town back on February 2nd, the night the Dion Phaneuf era began.

It wasn't a pretty sight. As I'm sure you know. With 19 games left on the schedule, and only 50 points to show for their first 63 games, the season is over; lost. Even if, somehow, Ron Wilson's Maple Leafs managed to run the table and finish 19-0, they'd fall short of the 90-point playoff mark. Eighty-eight points is as good as it can get. And we all know, with an AHL roster, the Leafs won't come anywhere near that mark.

To make matters worse, once again, our Toronto Maple Leafs are the NHL's worst team on home ice.

(No)Playoffs!!!1

It seems I picked a good time to take this trip. It has saved me from watching a lot of God-awful hockey. I'm clearly not missing much.

Although I certainly will miss Alexei Ponikarovsky. I'm not sure why Brian Burke refused to give a 29-year-old player who has improved every season, and will set a career-high in goals this season, a four-year contract, and frankly I'm tired of trying to figure out how the Toronto general manager's brain works. If, as the Leafs plummet to the bottom of the standings, which is destined to happen now that Boston owns Toronto's first-round pick, Burke continues to defend the Phil Kessel trade, and continues to say "I'd do it again," he is, without a doubt, full of shit.

I wish Burke would tell the truth. I wish he'd come out and say that he made a mistake; that he thought the Leafs would be a much, much better team this season. Hell, I've made that mistake every campaign since the lockout ended. It happens.

Pray. Clearly, it's all that's left to do. Luckily for me, there's a temple on just about every corner around these parts.

Enjoy the Battle of Ontario tonight. There are only a handful of Leafs victories left this season; here's hoping they come against the Ottawas and Montreals. I'm off to have a Kingfisher. After finally perusing the standings, I'm definitely going to need two. Cheers.

All Is Not Lost

Most of it. But not all.

Some thoughts:

• If you look close enough, you can actually see the fear in Olli Jokinen's eyes. Francois Beauchemin is crazy, and I find it utterly enrapturing.
• After a disappointing goalless performance on Saturday night, Phil Kessel is now on pace for only 46 goals and 81 points.
• Where have you been all my life, Carl Gunnarsson?
• So, according to Don Cherry, Rickard Wallin doesn't belong in the NHL because he wears a gold chain. It's got nothing to do with the fact he's Swedish, and wears a visor. Nothing at all. It's because of the chain. Just when I thought Cherry couldn't possibly reach a new low, he's gone and proved me wrong. Because only terrible hockey players wear gold chains.
• The Toronto Maple Leafs remain the NHL's most abominable defensive team (67 GA), with the 29th-best save percentage (.878), and league's worst penalty killing success rate (71.5%). It all goes back to the question that has haunted mankind since the beginning: what came first, the goaltender or the coach?

Scribes are busy claiming we are already in the midst of a lost season. Yet here we are, in November. It's far too early to write off the playoffs. (You know me, I think it's never too late.) With 64 games left on the docket, my plan involves conveniently ignoring the standings, and believing that this club will somehow flick the switch and get it.

I believe in the proverbial on/off switch that is found in the realm of professional sports.

If all else fails, Brian Burke can fire Ron Wilson. That'd be nice.

Is this real life?

I have emerged, relatively unscathed, from a 33 and a half hour bachelor party in Toronto. A copious amount of alcohol was consumed. In large part to celebrate the arrival of #81; Madison, Wisconsin's own, Phil Kessel. (And the soon-to-be-groom.)

I admit it: I chuckled, rather boisterously, upon reading the first sentence of Damien Cox's column Saturday morning ...

"For the 10th time in the past 20 years, the Maple Leafs have sacrificed a first-round selection in the NHL entry draft to make a significant trade."

Who didn't see that coming?

But I digress. Cox's column was, in fact, borderline positive.

It's one thing to trade a first-round draft pick for an aging Brian Leetch. Or a 29-year-old (and going on 41) Wendel Clark. Or a 31-year-old Owen Nolan. It's another to trade a first-round draft pick for a goalie - Vesa "my five-hole is always open" Toskala - unproven as a legitimate number one.

But it's a whole new ball game when you trade two first-round draft picks, and a second-round pick, for a guy who's scored 36 goals in the NHL before the age of 22.

I believe in Phil Kessel.

Don't get me wrong; I thought, much like you, that the days of trading first-round picks were over. I thought we had dawned upon a new era; you know, an era in which the Leafs would actually develop their own talent. But the Kessel deal is one, I have decided, that I can get behind. The Kessel deal is one that had to be made. Brian Burke has found his top-six forward. He's locked up him up, long-term. And at the high cost of three draft picks, including two first-rounders, so be it. In Brian Burke I trust.

How can you not be excited about a guy who averaged only 16:32 of ice-time a game last season, along with limited power play duty, and still potted 32 goals? Only freedom-hating terrorists can't appreciate that shit.

How does a future of Nazem Kadri, Kessel, and Luke Schenn sound? Boners abound, I say.

The best part: Kessel, coming off shoulder surgery, will be ready to play in mid-November. When it matters.

UPDATE: Playoffs!!1

UPDATE #2: "Phil the Thrill." What do we think?

A Tale of Three GMs; Part III: Brian Burke

This:

"I told the players you should care about winning as much as I do or you'll play somewhere else."

About the playoffs (!!1):

"That's our goal. It's our intention to reach that goal and we believe we have the talent to get there."

That. Those quotes. Above. That's why Brian Burke is the perfect man to be leading the Toronto Maple Leafs. The GM should want it just as bad as the fans do.

Burke's perfect. If he adds Phil Kessel without trading Tomas Kaberle, and/or a first round draft pick, I will seriously begin to - you guessed it - plan the parade.

Can you recall a training camp and pre-season in recent memory that you were so excited about?

I didn't think so.

Wait, What?

From Tim Wharnsby in The Globe and Mail, in an article about Phil Kessel being the apple of Brian Burke's eye:

"...The only current Maple Leafs forwards who have top-six status in Burke’s mind are Mikhail Grabovski and Matt Stajan."

The fuck?

Stajan over Alexei Ponikarovsky? It can't be. Someone please tell me that's a typo. Sure, when I'm drinking I get Stajan and Poni confused, and, sure, Mississauga Matt put up a career-high 55 points last season ... but he's no top-six forward.

Listen, I'm all about Burke. I've drank the proverbial Kool-Aid. But what does Jason Blake have to do to be considered a top-six NHL forward? Fifty forwards put up more than his 63 points last season. That's an average of 1.6 per team. Blake's a top-sixer, as is Ponikarovsky.

It doesn't happen often, but I don't believe in Matt Stajan. In fact, I believe in Jason Allison more than I believe in Matt Stajan.

Kid Kadri and Christian Hanson

After a weekend that saw family in town and two good friends tie the knot, Tuesday was a most unwelcomed return to reality. What helped was watching NHL Rookie Tournament highlights on Sportsnet. (Only in nutty Canada. I love it.)

It's hard not to be excited about Nazem Kadri and Hanson. Kadri's goal against Boston was filthy; remindful of the talent that led him to be drafted 7th overall. While Hanson, as much as it's footnoteingly possible to tally a hat trick, did just that.

I don't think Kadri makes the Leafs out of training camp, but let it be known that I thought the same about Luke Schenn. Also: we need a nickname for Hanson.

Media Relations

Not only do I run the editorial side of Sports And The City, I also work PR. And I'm here to remind you to head over to your local Chapters Indigo store (which one is it: Chapters or Indigo?) and pick up your copy of the 2009/2010 Maple Leafs Annual. It is, for lack of a better word, awesome.

Drafting Marc Savard

The fine folks at Cycle like the Sedins have taken it upon themselves to organize a bloggers' NHL fantasy draft. I'm representing your Toronto Maple Leafs.

What, who'd you think I'd be drafting for, the Vancouver Canucks? (Fuck off. It was a one time thing.)

With the 22nd pick in draft - hey, you should be glad I didn't trade the first rounder - the fantasy Leafs were proud to select centre Marc Savard.

Sure, guys like Henrik Zetterberg, Joe Thornton and Rick Nash were available, but I couldn't pass up 88 points at a cap hit of only $5 million.

I'm of Indian descent. If Russel Peters has taught you anything, it's that being frugal is deep in our veins.

As for the picture, yes, Fantasy is my favourite Mariah Carey album.

So Long Stralman

You know what the trading of the young, Swedish, puck-moving defenceman to Calgary means, right? More Tomas Kaberle in your life. And that's always a good thing.

Last season Anton couldn't crack, for good, a Maple Leafs defence core that allowed 293 goals. That's frightening. He was a 7th round selection, 216th overall, back in 2005, and in return for his services Brian Burke secured a 2nd round pick. I'll take Toronto's chances in the draft.

A hearty Toronto welcome to Scarborough's own Wayne Primeau, and his $1.4 million dollar expiring contract. Enjoy your stay on the fourth line.

Noticed you noticing me ...

Brian Burke and the Toronto Maple Leafs are, as the kids say, the talk of the town.

The following is from Boob Gainey, a loyal and regular commenter over at the filthiest, and at the same time greatest, Montreal Canadiens blog of them all: Four Habs Fans ...

"We will definitely need [Gregory] Stewart and BGL [Big Georges Laraque] when we go into Toronto or Boston."

Yes. Yes you will. Actually, you'll probably need more than that.

Here's to truculence, yo, and it scaring the bejeezus out of the opposition.

Cheers; welcome to your Brian Burke years.

Who's on your blue line?

Brian Burke is spoiling us. Seriously.

After using the force to lure Mike Komisarek from the dark side, and acquiring cruncher Garnet Exelby, I figured the Francois Beauchemin ship had sailed past these parts.

Wrong. Wonderfully wrong.

Beauchemin has arrived. An already truculent defense core is now even more so. After valiantly enduring the John Ferguson Jr. era, Leafs fans are finally getting what they deserve from management: competence.

With 47 NHL-calibre defenseman now in tow, the rumour mill is a churning. Listen up: Tomas Kaberle isn't leaving town. Stop talking about him being traded, stop writing about him being traded, and stop tweeting about him being traded. It isn't happening. If it was, a deal would have been made by now. And don't bother bringing up Phil Kessel. That trade was based upon draft picks not yet selected; that dream, while certainly not mine, is dead.

Who, then, are the odd men out, you ask? Simple: Mike Van Ryn, and Jeff Finger.

Van Ryn, the ghost of Carlo Colaiacovo, obviously has a much easier contract to move; he'll be an unrestricted free agent next summer. Why keep him over Kaberle, who has two years left on his deal? Clearly the market for Tomas isn't what Burke thinks it should be, or he'd have dealt him by now. At this point, with the defense Burke's put together, I don't believe a top-six forward is a priority. Remember, it's not about scoring goals; it's about lowering the 293 goals the Leafs allowed last season. And I have no doubt that number is going to plummet.

Here's my six man rotation on defense, assuming the brittle Van Ryn will be traded:

Tomas Kaberle & Mike Komisarek

Luke Schenn & Francois Beauchemin

Garnet Exelby & Ian White

Finger and his $3.5 million dollar contract, along with Jonas Frogren and Anton Stralman, are the spare parts.

With four defensive defenseman making up the six, Kaberle would come in handy, especially on the power play. He could conceivably quarterback both units, for the entire two minutes.

There's also been some chatter as to having White play the wing, and Finger take a regular shift on defense. While I know it's ridiculous to sit a guy making $3.5 million, I think White's got a bright future on the Leafs, but only as a defenseman. He earned the trust of Wilson and co. last season with his solid play, and the admiration of us fans with his moustache.

According to Behind The Net, while playing five-on-five, White trailed only Luke Schenn in ice time per game (17:26 to 17:37). His 0.92 five-on-five Behind The Net rating was tops on the team by a healthy margin among regulars. And of all the regulars who played "defense" last season for Toronto, White's 2.74 GAON/60 (Goals Against On Ice, per 60 minutes) five-on-five rating was the lowest.

And this is the guy we should remove off the blue line? Fuhgeddaboudit!1

White's also young, and cheap. He takes priority over the Fingers, Van Ryns, Frogrens and Stralmans of the world.

Remember, last season, San Jose took Kyle McLaren and his $2.5 million cap hit and stuck him in the minors until they were able to trade him to Philadelphia. This is the reality of the new salary capped NHL. A reality Finger might have to accept.

A while back, I asked the ever-prescient Down Goes Brown for his thoughts on Jeff Finger, and, as usual, he hit the nail on the head:

"It's not that Finger is awful (he's not) or that he's overpaid (he is.) He's just not what the Leafs need. The focus in Toronto should be on finding young players and putting them in position to succeed. Signing a veteran minor-leaguer to a rich long-term contract to anchor the third defensive pairing isn't on that list.

"Finger isn't the disaster he's made out to be by some. He's just a bad fit - one that the Leafs will likely be stuck with for three more years."

I'm with DGB; just because we're stuck with Finger doesn't mean he should take precedence over Ian White, who was a more productive, versatile and useful defenseman for the Maple Leafs in 2008/2009.

Back to Beauchemin (this post is all over the fucking place); he's got people excited. Even Pension Plan Puppets' Chemmy, an advocate of "tank nation," is daring to dream:

"I'm going to say it just once, and probably deny it if you bring it up: PLAYOFFS!!!1"

Yes indeed, Jammies.

And Jonas Gustavsson is on the way officially a Maple Leaf.

It just keeps getting better.

Truculence? Check.

Brian Burke, if nothing else, is a man of his word. Saith Burke, back on November 29, 2008, when he became the man to fix the Toronto Maple Leafs:

"The first thing and probably the easiest thing to change on your team is the amount of the snarl, the amount of the bite. That's an important part of how my teams play."

July 1st has come and gone, and the Leafs have increased their snarl and bite quotient tenfold, thanks to the acquisitions of Colton Orr, Mike Komisarek, and Garnet Exelby. It's safe to say the winds of change have arrived. Burke is making this "his" team.

I'm rather pleased with the additions. Mostly because I hate all three of those guys.

Here's what I've written about Komisarek in the past:

"...Komisarek is a douche. If there's one guy on the Habs I want to kick square in the groin, it's Komisarek.

"Mike Komisarek's an All-Star? Fuck off, Montreal."

There's even a tag on the blog in honour of Toronto's newest defenceman: "Mike Komisarek = douchebag." Obviously, it will never be used again. He's our All-Star defenceman now, yo.

Yesterday, I loathed Komisarek. Today, I look forward to seeing him don the blue and white, along with the alternate captain's "A." Welcome to the good side, Mike.

The "A" on Komisarek's jersey will come from the sweater of the departed Pavel Kubina. He will be sorely missed. I enjoyed Kubina's time in Toronto, especially his booming shot from the point, and am lamenting the fact that one half of the Czech connection on defence has been traded away. Such is life. Players, they come and go.

In return, in Exelby, the Leafs get another stay-at-home defenceman I've never particularly liked. Mostly because the bastard tried - rather well, I might add - to decapitate Mats Sundin.

Well, Exelby's a Leaf now, and here's why his tenure in Toronto might be slightly arousing:

Komisarek and Exelby bring zero offence to the table. Instead they bring a penchant for open-ice bodychecks, something lacking around here since the days of Russian warriors Dmitri Yushkevich and Danny Markov. And that scratches me right where I itch.

The two also can't possibly not help improve the Leafs' absolutely fucking pathetic 74.7% penalty killing percentage.

Speaking of bringing nothing to the table offensively, that brings us to Colton Orr. He fights. That's it, that's all. He is what he is. And at $1 million a season over the next four campaigns, I'll take him over Brad May, Andre Deveaux, Ben Ondrus and, especially, Ryan Hollweg any day of the week.

Of course many Leafs fans, never satisfied and always bitching, are wondering when and who Burke is going to land up front. (Rick Nash, 2010!) Sure, I've got questions as well, and was hoping Burke might land Mike Cammalleri or Brian Gionta, who both ended up in Montreal, land of the midgets. But I'm with Burke: the back-end was rightfully the Leafs' first and foremost priority.

On a quick aside, the best news of the day was the free agent forward signing that didn't happen in Toronto: Chris Neil, along with his ugly mug, remains an Ottawa Senator. While I rooted for Bryan Marchment in a Leafs uniform, even I have my limits. Crisis averted. And, still on Ottawa, I love Dany Heatley. Anyone who fucks the Senators so gloriously gets a pass in my books.

Back to business: the Leafs allowed an embarrassing 293 goals last season; worst in the league. They scored a respectable 250 goals. Sure, Nik Antropov's 21 goals, Dominic Moore's 12 goals, and Pavel Kubina's 14 goals are gone, but I'm not worried about it. I fully expect Nikolai Kulemin to improve on his 15-goal rookie campaign, and John Mitchell to pot more than his rookie total of 12. Nik Hagman's a 30-goal man if healthy, there's no way Lee Stempniak scores only 11 goals in 60 games again, and I believe Jiri Tlusty is ready to make the full-time jump to the NHL after becoming a point-per-game player in the AHL.

The goals will come. I haven't even mentioned the collegiate cats Burke was able to sign a few months ago. But it's time to focus on what's wrong with this team, and not worry about what might or might not happen up front. The priority, as it rightfully God damn should have been, and as Burke clearly signalled it was with his moves, is getting that 293 goals against number down to 230. And I'm confident our new defensive core - a shut-down threesome of Luke Schenn, Komisarek and Exelby - along with a healthy Vesa Toskala and soon-to-be-signed Jonas Gustavsson (there's no way Burke's NOT getting him), can make that happen.

Don't get me wrong; if in the coming days Burke can add a forward, preferably a centre, I certainly wouldn't mind. It would be the icing on our truculent, stay-at-home defencemen cake. Mats Sundin, anyone?

Back in the basement

No, smart ass, I'm not talking about the Toronto Blue Jays. I'm talking about me. I leave the friendly confines of my mom's basement for a quick sojourn out of town, and drama ensues. Farah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, and Billy Mays all leave this world, all too soon. And the Toronto Maple Leafs draft a Muslim kid.

Nazem Kadri is the newest Maple Leaf, immediately the franchise's top prospect, and the offensive future of the hockey club. And I couldn't be happier about it.

No, I'm not going to make like some of my Leafs-supporting brethren out there and bitch about the fact that Brian Burke wasn't able to move up and land John Tavares, or Brayden Schenn. Fuck that. I'd rather celebrate the glory that is, and will one day be in the blue and white, Nazem Kadri.

Filthy, eh? Props to my boy Chemmy for sharing that gem.

What do you think: Nasty Nazem, or Kid Kadri? I'm good with either, really.

I'm titillated about #91's arrival. Probably more so than I was about Luke Schenn. (Blasphemy, I know.) After watching Kadri play back in February, deep down, he's the one I wanted. Mostly because I like saying "Kadri!!1"

"Kadri!!1" is the new "playoffs!!1"

Seriously. Excited. Enough to buy a bottle of champagne in celebration at Peel Pub, in Montreal, on Sunday night.

And how could I not be? Selected seventh overall after putting up 78 points in 56 games last season with the London Knights (and 21 points in 14 playoff games), Kadri is the highest-drafted forward chosen by the Maple Leafs since Scott Thornton, taken third overall, 20 years ago, in 1989. (Let's not talk about how that worked out. Thanks.) Kadri could be the young, dynamic, explosive, home-grown offensive player I've been waiting for all my life.

There's more: Kadri can kill penalties. He led the OHL with 10 shorthanded points last season. It feels like Christmas around here.

And the icing on my Kadri cake: the Ottawa Senators wanted him.

Believe in Nazem Kadri. The future is bright.

And it's about to get even brighter. When the dust settles on July 1st, aptly titled Canada Day to celebrate the NHL's free agent frenzy, my favourite new Maple Leafs will be Kadri, of course, Daniel and Henrik Sedin (I'm sure Mats Sundin put in a good word), and hopefully Manny Malhotra. Seriously; Christmas. In July. I really should get started on that Burke statue.

And, finally, in honour of Burke not trading my heartthrob Tomas Kaberle. Yet, at least ...

Clearly my man Burke realizes the value of an incredible cross-ice pass (like you won't believe) at only $4.25 million a season.

You should, too.

UPDATE: As you know by now, Justin Pogge's been tendered a qualifying contract offer. He remains a Leaf. He also remains a very terrible goalie. One more year, and he'll officially be a bust. Good times.

And here's my new desktop background:

Rooting for Marian Hossa

Weird, eh? Trust me, I know. But read me out.

In my defence, the Ottawa Senators' stank Hossa used to be afflicted with has worn off. He was last a Senator way back in 2004; a long time ago, when even the Maple Leafs were good. Five years later, I want Hossa to win the Stanley Cup. With the Detroit Red Wings. In Pittsburgh.

I never thought the day would come, but I respect Marian Hossa. I respect the decision he made last summer to sign with the the Detroit Red Wings. He made it for the right reason: to win the Stanley Cup. And in choosing Detroit over the Penguins, Hossa's one win from vindication.

Every hockey player is one game, one shift, and one injury away from having his career ended. Hossa left a ton of guaranteed money, and years, on the table to chase his dream.

Now don't get me wrong; Hossa got paid. He made just under $7.5 million this season. But he could have banked $9 million a year in Edmonton, or signed a multi-year deal with Pittsburgh estimated at about $50 million. And I can't help but admire that. For some reason, I don't want Hossa's decision to leave Pittsburgh and sign with Detroit to come back and haunt him.

Most of all, I appreciate Hossa's desire to win. If Mats Sundin truly wanted to win a Stanley Cup, he would have signed with the Red Wings last July (Detroit wanted him), or called Ken Holland mid-season and agreed to play for the league minimum. Instead, by signing with Vancouver, Sundin chose the route he took in Toronto: get paid, and play for a team with not the best shot, but a shot.

I believe Mats wanted it. Bad. Just not enough. Not as bad as Hossa wants it.

His Ottawa tenure a thing of the past, I'm hoping Hossa is high on Brian Burke's July 1 to-do list. Marian's a star; thirty-years-old, a proven 40-goal man, and only two seasons removed from a 100-point campaign with Atlanta. And, possibly as early as tonight, a Stanley Cup winner.

UPDATE: Read this post from James Mirtle. It's hard to win the Stanley Cup (understatement of the year). I'm not going to rip Hossa for giving himself the best shot to do so. 

Could Burke really trade Schenn?

You know who's enjoying the new Brian Burke era the most in this, the fine city of Toronto? Jeff Blair, of The Globe and Mail. His column today is an absolute must read. (Talks with Mikhail Grabovski's agent have "not been successful." Lovely.) 

Burke's for real, and he's got his binoculars locked on John Tavares. Apparently he's already called the New York Islanders to say hi, and sent what I'm sure was a very pleasant email down to Tampa Bay. The man doesn't mess around.

My initial reaction to Burke's comments from Tuesday was that of reservation. I thought the Leafs weren't going to mortgage the future anymore, so what's all this talk about trading first round picks, and possibly even trading Luke Schenn? Say it ain't so.

But along came Jeff Blair, via Twitter, and in his infinite wisdom he asked me:

@eyebleaf Hey, you guys wanted Brian Burke? You got him. What makes the Leafs better: guy like Bouwmeester and Tavares? Or Schenn and No. 7?

Well, I'll be damned, but I think Blair might be on to something. Don't get me wrong, I love Luke Schenn. He is the type of defenceman we Maple Leafs fans have dreamed of for years. But if the Leafs send him to Long Island, where hockey goes to die (ugh, sorry Luke), along with draft picks (ugh, multiple first rounders, I'm sure), in return for Tavares, well ... it certainly makes you think, doesn't it? 

Of course, there's no guarantee Burke will be able to sign unrestricted free agent Jay Bouwmeester at 12:01 PM on July 1st, further complicating matters.

But were it all to go down as planned, come July 2nd, a Leafs team with Tavares and Bouwmeester, and a depleted draft picks cupboard (as if that's anything new to this franchise), would be better than a Leafs team with Schenn and a seventh overall first-round draft pick, whomever it turns out to be. Period.

Look, I know Schenn's special. But Tavares might be even more special. He might be Evgeni Malkin, or Alexander Ovechkin, or Sidney Crosby type special. He might be the young, dynamic offensive player the Toronto Maple Leafs have never had.

It's a tough one. Believe me, I know. How the hell do you trade a guy like Luke Schenn, the future captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs? And to the Islanders, of all teams. He doesn't deserve that. It would be blasphemy; a sin. And then, on top of that, Burke would be putting all his eggs in the free agency basket. Frankly, I can't believe this is even being discussed.

But I think if the opportunity presented itself, if the Islanders agreed to accept a package of Schenn and multiple draft picks for John bloody Tavares, it just might have to be done. And Brian Burke is crazy enough to do it.

Why?

From Friday's Toronto Star:

"[Vesa] Toskala revealed yesterday he tweaked his groin in Calgary on Nov.11 and played the rest of the season injured until he finally had a pair of surgeries, one to repair his hip, the other his groin. He's got about 10 weeks of rehab still to go. 

"'I started doing more exercise a few days ago, things are going well,' said Toskala, who added he wouldn't have had the surgery had Toronto been in the playoff hunt.

"'At that time, we were 10 points out and it didn't make any sense to keep playing,' he explained. 'I felt I could play and I think I played all right. I wasn't 100 per cent.'"

So, between November 11th, when Toskala was hurt, and March 3rd, the final game he played this season, Curtis Joseph and Justin Pogge started nine games. In a rebuilding year, Ron Wilson's Toronto Maple Leafs trotted out an injured goalie night after night, after night, after night.

Why? Who allowed this?

It's ridiculous. And unbelievably frustrating. Joseph should have played a hell of a lot more. And if the Leafs didn't have enough confidence in him, or Pogge, they should have went out and acquired another goalie. God knows a full season of Joseph and Pogge would have ensured the team a lottery pick in the draft. (Toskala's unreal February totally killed that flex.)

It's true: since 2004, the Maple Leafs can do nothing right. 

My only hope is now that Brian Burke is in charge, the inmates are no longer running the God damn asylum. 

Return of the Crooklyn Dodgers

I don't have much to say. The Toronto Maple Leafs have officially been eliminated from playoff contention. I'm in mourning. Sure, they beat the Flyers, but really, who cares? 

Forty Creek. On the rocks. To celebrate the Leafs' futility, that is the drink of choice. For a few days, at least. (Thanks, Michael Knight; 40, you have to have a glass of this with us.) 

Like my man Brian Burke said, not making the playoffs, low expectations be damned, still feels like a kick to the groin.

How about some music, instead?

Jeru the Damaja's verse, the final one, might be my favourite of all-time. It's that good.

I have faith that Brian Burke will most certainly make sure that playing for the Maple Leafs is "survival of the fittest."

Here's to next year, and making the God damn playoffs.

Bring on them Blue Jays ...

Deep Thoughts: The Leafs are the Bruins' Bitches

If there was any doubt that Brian Burke and the Toronto Maple Leafs need to re-sign Martin Gerber, there shouldn't be anymore, not after last night ...

Justin Pogge's .844 save percentage is downright pathetic.  Small sample size be damned. Drafted in 2004, Pogge is still not ready for prime time, and I'm truly beginning to wonder if he ever will be. How he performs for the Toronto Marlies in the playoffs (!!!!1) is going to say a lot about him. The pressure is on ...

The Boston Bruins took five of six from the Leafs this season. I hate the Bs. Especially Milan Lucic. And by "especially Milan Lucic" I mean I'd love to see him in the blue and white ...

The Bruins have allowed 95 fewer goals than the Leafs this season. Ninety-five! Sure, they're the best team in the Eastern Conference, but that's fucked up ...

The Leafs' 271 goals allowed is worst in the NHL. Other than the forever pathetic Atlanta Thrashers, who have allowed 262, no team comes close to that number ...

Some good news: Alex Ponikarovsky scored his career-high 22nd and 23rd goals of the season last night, and Niklas Hagman hit the 20-goal mark with the 100th goal of his career. Both of them are rudeys. My Poni-love post is coming down the pipe. Stay tuned ...

Mikhail Grabovski's Mickey Grabs' personal March Madness (two more assists last night; 14 points in March) has been HUGE for my fantasy hockey team ...

Toronto's won only 14 games at home this season. Only the hapless Tampa Bay Lightning have won fewer games on home ice. For shame ...

Is there a better camera shot than of Brian Burke with his binos, watching Luke Schenn pummel Steve Montador? Burke is boss. Literally ...

You know what really breaks my heart? The fact that the Paul Maurice led Carolina Hurricanes are going to make the playoffs (!!!!1). That's some bullshit ...

After this, another, clusterfuck of a season, I will never again take good goaltending and solid penalty killing for granted. I promise ...

A different team. Literally.

Is there anything you would rather do with your Tuesday night than watch the New York Islanders and Toronto Maple Leafs duke it out? If you said no, much like me, you have a problem. Actually, it's more like a sickness.

I don't know why I watched the game, but I did. To no one's surprise, it was like pulling teeth. It was the Leafs and Isles, after all. Borderline AHL hockey. But, hey, the Leafs won. In overtime, of course. Mickey Grabs with the winner, eh! It's a celebration.

Anyway, while I was walking home from work yesterday, I was thinking about just how much the Leafs' roster has changed in a calendar year. Yes, this is in fact my thought process as I stroll along Yonge St. after a long day at work. Don't judge me, yo.

Thanks to Google, which has completely changed all of our lives, I pulled up the box score to a game between the Leafs and New Jersey Devils, played on March 8, 2008. The Leafs were 2-1 losers (fucking Devils). Here's the roster the Leafs put out that night:

Nik Antropov (traded)

Jason Blake

Carlo Colaiacovo (traded)

Tomas Kaberle

Pavel Kubina

Bryan McCabe (traded)

Dominic Moore (traded)

Kris Newbury (in the minors)

Alex Ponikarovsky

Matt Stajan

Alex Steen (traded)

Anton Stralman (is half Leaf, half Marlie)

Mats Sundin (LEFT VIA FREE AGENCY)

Jiri Tlusty (owning the AHL)

Darcy Tucker (bought out)

Kyle Wellwood (waived)

Ian White

Jeremy Williams (in the minors)

Vesa Toskala

Andrew Raycroft (bought out; thank God)

Now, compare that with last night's Leafs roster:

Jason Blake

Boyd Devereaux (picked up on waivers)

Jeff Finger (free agency)

Mikhail Grabovski (acquired via trade)

Jeff Hamilton (free agency)

Pavel Kubina

Nikolai Kulemin (drafted)

Brad May (acquired via trade)

Jamal Mayers (acquired via trade)

John Mitchell (drafted)

Ben Ondrus (will never be anything but an injury call-up)

Phil Oreskovic (drafted)

Alex Ponikarovsky

Luke Schenn (drafted; thank God)

Matt Stajan

Lee Stempniak (acquired via trade)

Anton Stralman (still half Leaf, half Marlie)

Ian White

Martin Gerber (picked up on waivers)

Curtis Joseph (free agency; oops)

As you can see, the roster turnover has been nothing short of phenomenal. Granted, there have been a lot of injuries this season, as there always are. Ben Ondrus is up with the big club right now because Nik Hagman is hurt. I don't imagine Ondrus is part of the grand plans going forward. 

Guys like Stralman and Oreskovic are only up because Mike Van Ryn is made of glass, Kaberle's got a busted hand, and Jonas Frogren is done for the season. Don't forget about Jamie Sifers, who's also seen some action with the big club this year.

And Martin Gerber is a Leaf only because Vesa Toskala is injured, and because both Curtis Joseph and Justin Pogge stink.

Gone too are guys like Mark Bell (waivers), Robbie Earl (traded) and Staffan Kronwall (waivers). Rookies like Alex Foster and Darryl Boyce, who saw action with the Leafs last year, haven't been able to make the jump this year. While Tim Stapleton is down on the farm, enjoying a fine season, I think we'd all be pleased if Andre Deveaux and Ryan Hollweg (worst trade ever) never play for the Leafs again.

Ian White is one of the more interesting cats to think about, March 2008 to March 2009. A year ago against the Devils, he played 13:13. Of all the six defensemen in the lineup that night, White received the fewest minutes, even less than Stralman. Last night, White played 27:25, by far the most on the team. He has skyrocketed up the depth chart, and it's a testament to his hard work and flexibility. Also, his stache. He's rocked it like a champ all year and, make no mistake, it definitely has something to do with his success.

Clearly, change has come to Toronto. And the Brian Burke purges shall continue. I imagine it will be another busy summer in Leafs land.

Bring it on, I say.

Playoffs!!!!1

Eventually.

Gerber Time

That was quite the debut my new favourite Toronto Maple Leaf Martin Gerber, wasn't it? What a ... goalie. Thirty-seven saves on thirty-eight shots. Forty seconds away from a shutout. What a hero.

The fact that Gerber comes via the Ottawa Senators makes his splendid effort, albeit just one game, that much sweeter. I think Leafs fans would agree that there exists in life a certain joy that comes with screwing the Senators. And it never gets old. I thought it might. But it hasn't. And it won't.

Oh yeah, the trade deadline. Look, all you really need to do is read this. But I like what Brian Burke did and what he was able to accomplish.

I wasn't happy with the return for Nik Antropov at first, but understand it now. Even though there's no way we're getting that conditional pick. (Rangers have to make the semifinals. Ha.) Regardless, I have put my faith in Burke. I trust that the deal was the best offer on the table. 

Dominic Moore for a 2nd rounder? Sure. Fill that draft pick cupboard.

By trading those two, Burke proved that players who sign in Toronto will do so on his terms. And it's been a while since I got that feeling from a Leafs general manager (if ever?).

As for the trade with Tampa, in which the Leafs essentially bought a 4th round draft pick for about half a million bucks, it showed the type of creativity that has for too long been AWOL from Toronto's front office.

Alex Ponikarovsky is still a Maple Leaf; there was some doubt as to whether he was in the minutes before the deadline. As are Tomas Kaberle and Pavel Kubina. And that's a good thing. I believe all three of them can be part of the solution.

And I like the addition of Gerber. A lot. Burke is proving to young Justin Pogge that he is going to have to earn every God damn inch of that crease. Pogge will not be the man between the pipes for the Maple Leafs until he deserves to be. Period. And say what you want about Gerber, but he's come to Toronto with better statistics than any other goalie in this town. 

I like Gerber's acquisition a whole lot more after the Leafs went into Washington and handed the Capitals only their ninth home loss of the season last night. Dude was phenomenal. Made a number of great saves. It helped that the Caps were missing some guy named, what is it, Alexander Ovechkin? Yeah, I think that's his name. But, hey, a win's a win, and full marks to the Leafs, especially Gerber, as they continue their late-season surge to 9th place in the Eastern Conference miracle city (you really should read Puck Huffers) and the playoffs.

Speaking of the playoff quest, I'll be at the Leafs game on Saturday night, in my new Gerber jersey. If you see me on TV, I'm the guy holding the PLAYOFFS!!!!1 sign.

Vesa Toskala? Get. Well. Soon. 

Let's be honest, Toskala was really close to being taken out back behind the ACC, and having the shit kicked out of him. February saved him. February also put him back in my good books. I can't stay mad at a goalie for too long. Well, except Andrew Raycroft. He's clearly the exception to that rule.

Speaking of the useless Raycroft, I've added Marty Gerber's save percentage to the "Interns of the Iced Igloos" sidebar I've got running on your right hand side (above). And you know what? Gerber's winning. As long as a Leafs goalie - any, one, whatever - finishes with a higher save percentage than Raycroft, the universe is in good shape.

And how about John Mitchell last night? Twenty-one minutes of ice time, five shots on goal, and an assist on Pavel Kubina's game-winner. He also went 6/11, 55%, in the faceoff circle. Needless to say, Mitchell is skyrocketing up the depth chart right now. He definitely needs to take Antropov and Moore out for drinks over the summer.

The story last night, though, was Gerber. He thought his NHL career might be over when the Senators banished him to the AHL (you know, because Brian Elliot is so good). Now that he's back, he ain't going out like that. Anybody else looking forward to Monday night, when the Leafs are in Ottawa?

Welcome to Toronto, Martin.

Welcome to the good side.

And I'll take with me the memories...

They haven't been traded yet. They might have been by the time you read this. But Nik Antropov and Dominic Moore were healthy scratches last night, and have played their final game for the Toronto Maple Leafs.

I hate goodbyes.

Nik, what a roller coaster ride it has been. It took a while, but you did good.

Dominic, you had me at hello. A Toronto boy, you lived the dream.

You know, there's nothing I can say that Boyz II Men can't on my behalf.

The biggest of big tunes. Good luck, boys. You will be missed.

Trade Deadline Day. A pseudo-holiday here in Canada, especially Toronto. Everyone's got Andy Williams playing in the background, ready for Brian Burke to make it rain draft picks.

It should be one helluva ride until 3:00 PM. All I'm going to say is that if Tomas Kaberle gets moved, you'll be able to find me sobbing uncontrollably at the bottom of a bottle, listening to the song above on repeat.

1.2%

My good friend MF37 has pointed out that those are the odds of the Leafs making the playoffs(!!!!1) this season, after they picked up another point last night, thanks to the divine exploits of one Vesa Toskala.

Toskala stopped 49 of 52 shots and his save percentage, I'm proud to report, is now above the .890 threshold, coming in at .891.

He went save for save, and beyond, with Marty Brodeur. It was glorious. The Leafs, without Antropov, Moore, and Niklas Hagman, and thanks to Vesa, battled to pick up a point. And John Mitchell's stock is quickly rising in my books. What a rudey.

Anyway, as I mentioned in the comments over at MF's blog, while it takes a certain type of lunatic to stroll through Al Gore's internet hollering "Playoffs!!!!1," it takes another type of lunatic to believe that the Leafs are buyers at the deadline. Not even I am that delusional.

Once again, my thoughts, this time about the Leafs' post-season chances, can be summed up much better by someone else. Ladies and gentlemen, a regular around here at this time of year, Lloyd Christmas:

Seven points. Don't stop believing.

Happy Trade Deadline Day. Behave.