Deep Thoughts Vol. 18: Vesa's Back

I don't know what happened to the old, promiscuous Vesa Toskala. Matter of fact, I don't care. He's gone. And hopefully he's not coming back. Vesa's five-hole is no longer open for business, and that's all that matters.

So, a couple of public verbal floggings from Brian Burke and Ron Wilson, and some horrid play from Justin Pogge and his teammates, is all it took to get Toskala back into form? Seriously?

I don't know the answers. Why the hell do you think I'm asking you? But I'm guessing all Toskala needed was some motivation. And God knows Curtis "Old Yeller" Joseph wasn't providing it. Anyway, based on Vesa's recent play (3-0-1, .949 save %), Wilson and Burke look like the smartest guys in show business right now.

I must say, it's great to have the Vesa of old back in the fold. The good Vesa. The Vesa who can stop a few God damn pucks every now and then. He was sublime again last night, stopping 31 of 32 in regulation against the New York Rangers, and all three of their attempts in the shootout.

Yes, you read that correctly. Vesa Toskala stopped all three New York attempts in the shootout. Don't worry, after the game, I went out and bought me one of those scratch-and-win cards. I'll be yelling out "Bingo!" in my cubicle around 11:45 AM.

Toskala's save percentage now comes in at .888. Around these parts, we round up. So, that's 89%, my friends. Andrew Raycroft's checking in at .898. Keep doing what you're doing, Vesa. You're almost there, bro. No matter all the extremely distasteful things I've said about you this season, I still believe in you.

Bye Bye Bell

The forgotten man, Mark Bell, is now a New York Ranger. He hit the re-entry waiver wire yesterday and the Rangers, in their never-ending stupidity (see: Tortorella, John), claimed him. And, to think, I was excited about Bell joining Toronto a season and a half ago. Well done, John Ferguson Jr., well done.

Since he's a now officially a former Maple Leaf, Bell's career is on the upswing. Cue his career rejuvenation, starting...a now.

Kabby Ain't Going Nowhere

Brian Burke wants a first-round pick, a guy who can step in and play right now, and a top prospect for #15. Needless to say, Tomas Kaberle is going to remain a Toronto Maple Leaf past Wednesday's trade deadline, and I couldn't be happier about that.

To all those of you who were excited to see him go, cry me a God damn river.

Kaberle for life.

Mark Bell Rules

I have been waiting years to see Daniel Alfredsson get hit the way he did last night. Thanks to one hell of a body check, Mark Bell completely redeemed himself of one horrendous season. Thanks to one hell of a body check, I want Bell to stay in the blue and white.

If you didn't see the hit, check it out. Grab some popcorn, a drink, and get comfortable. I think I've watched it about 57 times now, and it is just, well, awesome. And it's even better in slow motion.



Alffy is done. Bell sent him back to the 613 area code. That's what Alffy gets for cutting through the Leafs zone, head down and admiring his pass. It's about God damn time someone layed him out. Alfredsson won't suit up tonight for Ottawa, and word has it that he may even miss the first round of the playoffs. While the Leafs couldn't bring the Senators down with them, at least they got Alfredsson. That's one trade off I'll take with open arms.

One second, I'll be right back. Going to watch the video again...

Ok, I'm back. Sorry about that. But, wow, what a beauty of a hit. Shoulder, and some elbow, right into Alfredsson's mug. It's like art. Beautiful, expensive, art.

Other than the hit, the game was a joke. The Senators, fighting for their playoff lives, destroyed the Maple Leafs. Silly me, I was actually really excited about last night's game. I figured the Leafs would step up and do their best to mess up Ottawa's season. But, as keeps being proven, every instinct I have is wrong.

Honestly, an 8-2 final for the Senators was all good with me. The hit on Alfredsson made the final score absolutely meaningless. The Leafs are brutal and everyone knows it. Some serious roster overhaulage is in store.

The Washington Capitals, my adopted team for the rest of the season, beat the Lightning anyway, and now occupy the eighth and final playoff spot in the East. They don't need the Leafs' help. God knows we can't help ourselves, so how the hell were we going to help someone else? I'm an idiot.

Anyway, right after Bell cleared Alfredsson's sinuses, my boy Alz sent me a text message: "Bell just validated his write off of a season." I couldn't agree more. I've been a big time Bell-hater. He disappointed me greatly these last few months, and I was all for buying out his contract or having him toil in the minors next season. Not anymore. After that gorgeous hit on the super douche bag captain of the Ottawa Senators, all is forgotten. Well done, Mark Bell, and I look forward to seeing you in training camp in September.

Yes, the Leafs were absolutely demolished in their final home game of the regular season. The 8-2 final score was completely embarrassing, but fitting, because it was likely Paul Maurice's final game behind the Leafs bench as head coach (why the hell didn't he pull Toskala!?!?!?). I can't think of any other team that is blown out of their own building as often as the Leafs are. It's a bloody disgrace. I'm tired. I'm done. This season, with mercifully only one game left to play, can't end soon enough.

Yes, the Senators kicked collective Maple Leafs ass last night, but, well, who cares? It's nothing we haven't been through before. Just thank Mark Bell, scroll up to the video, and click "play." It'll make you feel better.

UPDATE: It's morning. I woke up and the first thing I did was think about the hit, and smile. A huge smile. And it's snowing outside. The Leafs lost 8-2 last night, and I'm still straight giddy over that hit. I think I have no choice but to buy a Mark Bell jersey. He is the greatest.

Blame Raycroft

The Toronto Maple Leafs' season is over. The Boston Bruins delivered the knockout blow last night. If you're like me, you are: a) drinking away the pain, and b) looking for someone to blame. Well, dear friends, look no further than the end of the Leafs' bench. Blame Andrew Raycroft.

Before I completely rip Raycroft apart, I'd like to spend a few moments discussing yesterday's game. First of all, it was atrocious. Second of all, the officiating was awful. Just awful. Thirdly, I hate the Bruins.

Really though, what a bullshit game. Boston scored some terrible goals, and Toskala didn't have a prayer on any of them. In the biggest game of the season, his teammates left him all by his lonesome in the crease. It's a testament to Vesa that the Leafs were still even in the race for the playoffs going into last night. Dude has stood on his head. Mad respect, Vesa.

Ok, somebody help me out here. What the blood clot was Mark Bell thinking last night when he took that bonehead penalty two and a half minutes into the game? It was a bogus call, but Bell should never have given the stripes the choice to call it. What an idiot. The Bruins, of course, scored on the power play and never looked back. Bell handed Boston all of the momentum on a silver freakin' platter.

I'm off Bell, huge. He should report to jail tomorrow and start serving his time. He's obviously not doing much around here. His first, and I hope only, season in the blue and white was a complete bust. He is under contract for next season, for an unworldly $2.5 million bucks, and the Leafs should buy out his contract, straight up, because he's useless.

As for the officiating, it definitely helped me in reaching for the bottle last night. An awful display, plain and simple. Sure, you can say it's typical that here I am, bitching and moaning about the officiating when the Leafs didn't show up, but, well, you're entitled to your wrong opinion. The refs blew it last night. They missed a ton of calls. Off the top of my head, Wellwood was blatantly tripped on a rush near the Boston goal in the first period and Stajan was interfered with while battling for a loose puck in the slot in the second. In both cases, no call. McCabe was given a ridiculous delay-of-game penalty after Boston went up three-love for shooting the puck over the glass. How can the call be delay-of-game when the play was dead? Unbelievable. And the goaltender interference penalty to Alex Steen in the third period was a joke as well. He was clearly pushed into Tim Thomas, yet still made an attempt to avoid hitting the Bruins keeper. If Steen wanted to, he could have killed that clown Thomas, but he still was charged with an infraction. Un-freaking-believable. Five power plays for the Bruins, including one two-man advantage, and two power plays for Toronto. Well done, stripes.

Anyway, it's all over. The Leafs had to run the table in their final nine games and, while they got off to a good start, it was an improbable mission to begin with. Toronto reminded me of a boxer who was on the ropes, continuously being beaten and knocked down, but always getting up before the count reached ten.

Well, the count reached ten last night. A spirited and gutsy effort by the Leafs the last month or so, but a TKO nonetheless. The Bruins, with 86 points, are now six points clear of Toronto and hold a game in hand. The best the Leafs can do now is finish with 90 points, and that simply won't get the job done. As most everyone predicted, the hole the Leafs dug themselves was too deep to dig out of.

While last night's contest was an extremely disheartening disappointment, it wasn't yesterday's outcome that killed the Leafs' season. It was the games they should have won back in October, November, December and January, against teams like Phoenix, Los Angeles, the Islanders, and Tampa Bay, and against goalies like Craig Anderson, Patrick Lalime, Jocelyn Thibault, Jason LaBarbera and Wade Dubielewicz, that led to their eventual demise.

The Leafs played a ton of home games in the first half of the season, but couldn't get the returns on home ice that they so desperately needed. I can't for the life of me figure out why the Leafs have struggled so much at the Air Canada Centre in the last couple of years. Under Pat Quinn, the Leafs couldn't be fucked with at home. We were dynamite. Not anymore. It may have something to do with the fact that the atmosphere at the Hangar is about as lively as a funeral. I don't know, but even after last night's debacle, the Leafs own a better road record than they do a home record. Toronto's 17 victories on home ice is the lowest of any team in the Eastern Conference. With that in mind, it's no surprise they won't be going to the dance and hitting golf balls instead.

A lot of players on this year's Leafs team underperformed and underachieved. Perhaps no one more so than Andrew Raycroft. Actually, screw the word "perhaps," it was Raycroft who sucked the most. Without a capable backup goalie, Vesa Toskala was forced to carry the load and, while he made a valiant effort, he couldn't single-handedly take the Leafs to the playoffs. Think about it, with a half-decent backup goalie the Leafs would have picked up another three, four, or five wins, and would likely be where Boston is today in the standings; in the playoffs.

While guys like Jason Blake and Bryan McCabe didn't light up the score sheet as most people, including myself, expected them to do so, at the end of the day there is no position more important in hockey, and probably all of sport, than that of goaltender. You live and die by your backstop. You can only go as far as your goalie takes you. You've heard all the bloody cliches. So, if there's one person that deserves the lion's share of the blame this season, it's Raycroft.

Now I know that Toskala didn't exactly come storming out of the gate this year. He struggled in the pre-season and early on in October and November, and lets not forget that Raycroft actually started Toronto's season and home opener against the Ottawa Senators (and blew a third period lead in the game). Raycroft had every opportunity to be the number one goalie, or at worst split the duties down the middle with Toskala, but, as usual, he couldn't deliver, because he is one pathetic mother sucker.

Raycroft's stats speak for themselves, and they are straight ugly. Crazy ugly. Brace yourselves.

A win-loss record of 2-8-4, a 4.07 goals against average, and a dry-heaves inducing .868 save percentage. Raycroft has played a total of 17 games this season, 14 as a starter, and has won a grand total of two of them. Two wins. In 17 God damn games. Of the 14 games he started, he was pulled in three of them. That means he was yanked in 21% of the games he started, folks. That just isn't right. The last game Raycrap was called upon to start was on January 20th against New Jersey, a 3-2 loss, more than two months ago. The last time he saw any action at all was on February 5th against the Florida Panthers, when the Leafs got their asses handed to them 8-0. Raycroft came on in relief of Toskala that night, and allowed four goals on 11 shots. We learned, once and for all that night, that Raycroft certainly does not spell "relief." Even more astonishing than all of the above is that the last game that Raycroft actually won was on November 9th, 2007, more than four and a half months ago, when he shutout the Buffalo Sabres 3-0. The Sabres should be deeply, deeply ashamed of themselves, and should still be having nightmares about that game.

Like I said, there's a ton of blame to go around the Toronto Maple Leafs locker room. The season has been another colossal failure. I am simply choosing to throw most of the blame on Raycroft's shoulders. You know, because I hate him. After reading the above I think you'll understand why Raycroft sits at the end of the bench, night in and night out, with his hat pulled down so low on his brow. If I were him, I'd have trouble looking people in the eye, too. What a douche bag if there ever was one.

It will certainly be interesting to see whether Raycroft gets any action now that the Leafs have all but been mathematically eliminated from playoff contention. I'm as big a dreamer as they come, but even I know that Toronto is done. Personally, I think Toskala deserves a break. He's earned one. I just don't think Raycroft should be the one to give him a rest. I'd rather Cliff Fletcher call up Justin Pogge, or even Scott Clemmensen, and stick him between the pipes. Anyone but Andrew Raycroft. He does not deserve to play another game for the Toronto Maple Leafs. Not this season, certainly not next season, not ever.

With an NHL-calibre backup goalie at their disposal, the Leafs wouldn't find themselves on the outside looking in on the playoffs today. Instead, they'd probably be gearing up for a first-round showdown with the Montreal Canadiens.

Fuck you, Andrew Raycroft. See you in hell.

Happy Birthday Mats!

Dear Mats Sundin,

Happy 37th birthday, big fella! Old? Hardly! You've still got the goods, my man.

I just wanted to take a moment to wish you all the best on this very special day. Hopefully after you blow out the candles, you can take to the ice and blow out the Buffalo Sabres. And let me take this opportunity to pass along my sympathies to you for having to spend your birthday in Buffalo. That is just awful.

It's tough not to wax nostalgic on a day like today, especially when your future in Toronto remains so cloudy. Will you stay? Will you go? If you go, will you come back? Tough questions. In a couple of weeks we'll have the answers, but I just want you to know that no matter what decision you make, I, and most other appreciative Maple Leafs fans out there, will support you. We owe you that much.

You came to Toronto a boy and I have watched you age gracefully into a man. It has been a pleasure. You've been my favourite player since I was 13 years old. Thirteen - the day of your birth, the number on your back, and the day of my birth, in September, and the number I've worn, as well. Coincidence? I think not.

You are like a fine wine - you get better with age. And now, today, when I look at you, I still see one hell of a hockey player, with a lot of gas left in the tank. More importantly, I see a leader of men. You inspire your teammates and your fans. You want to complete the "journey" and go through the trenches with your comrades in order to win a Stanley Cup. You don't want to win it as a rental player, on a team new in a new city, because it's just not the same. That's what makes you so special, Mats.

Your birthday present on this special day? With the return of Alex Ponikarovsky, you're getting a healthy Maple Leafs team. Well, Mark Bell is still on the injured list, but let's be honest, other than getting beat up he wasn't doing much when he was in the lineup.

Cheers, Mats. Here's to you. And another 37 years. You're my man, for life.

Your homeboy,

eyebleaf

It's Time To Re-Sign John Ferguson Jr.

For the past three seasons I have believed that the Toronto Maple Leafs were a playoff team. Clearly, my instincts have been wrong. Ok, horribly wrong. It's time for some George Costanza inspired thinking. It's time to re-sign general manager John Ferguson Jr. to a multi-year contract.

Like Jerry Seinfeld told George, "If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right." My instincts are telling me that John Ferguson Jr. needs to be fired and jettisoned out of this town, and fast. So, with that in mind, lets get his signature on a long-term contract. JFJ got us into this mess, lets give him a chance to get us out of it.

While everyone is enjoying shitting on JFJ (I've done it too, I admit it is rather enjoyable), I think the man is deserving of some serious props. He's trying to do his job in one tremendously fucked up working environment right now, yet he's still been accessible to the media. There he was Tuesday night doing an interview on Sportsnet during the second intermission of the Leafs game saying that, yes, at the end of the day, he was accountable for Toronto's lack of success. The man isn't hiding behind a rock, although he has every reason to be. He's facing the heat, and I've got to show him some love for that. His job is hanging by the thinnest of threads, and it can't be good times in the Ferguson Jr. household.

I can't also forget to mention the douchebag JFJ has to report to - his boss, the ever-popular, Richard Peddie. Peddie's the moron who passed on Scotty Bowman - passed on freakin' Scotty Bowman - and who publicly said that JFJ's hiring was a mistake. It's also common knowledge that Peddie and the Leafs are, and were months ago, looking for a replacement for Mr. Dead Man Walking, JFJ.

The thought has crossed my mind as to why JFJ simply hasn't quit. Why he hasn't gotten up one morning and said, "You know what? Fuck this. I'm gone," is beyond me. I'm sure there are financial reasons involved, but he has chosen not to take the easy way out. I send more props his way.

I mean, you've got Scotty Bowman coming on national television saying he was interviewed by Peddie and co. and Cliff Fletcher-mania all over the media in the last few days. JFJ isn't stupid (although many think he most-certainly is and, based on his track record, it's tough to argue he's not). He sees the media vultures circling his soon-to-be canned carcass, and his team, every day. My question is: how the hell is this man supposed to get any work done in such an environment? He still is, after all, the general manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs.

The same Toronto Maple Leafs that have won two games in a row, baby (and last night's victory was in a shootout, to boot)! But, in all seriousness, how is Ferguson supposed to make a trade when rival general manager's know he's a lame-duck manager and almost certainly on the way out, be it in the coming days or weeks, or in the off-season. I don't think it's possible. Every other general manager should be trying to rip Ferguson off right now and if they're not trying to, they're not doing their job. If JFJ is desperate to make a trade to try and save his behind, he hasn't let it be known, and hasn't made a deal, and I give him credit for that. He's sticking to his guns, even though he's flat out of ammunition.

The reality of the situation is that decisions need to be made in regards to this Leafs squad. Vancouver had a couple of scouts in Toronto to watch the Leafs on Tuesday night and Calgary general manager Darryl Sutter took in last night's game in Boston vs the Bruins. The Leafs have a ridiculously tradeable asset in Mats Sundin, and someone, whether it's Ferguson or his replacement, needs to start working the phones. JFJ needs to know whether he'll be pulling the trigger on any potential trade, doesn't he? Only in Toronto, I swear.

JFJ's treatment by the Leafs is pretty pathetic. Either show him the door, or give him an extension. The fact that they would leave the man's fate hanging in the balance like this is sad, and shows complete and utter disrespect for the position, and for JFJ. After this most-public humiliation of JFJ, who in their right mind would want to come and join the toxic environment that is the Toronto Maple Leafs front office? Ownership should be ashamed of themselves, but they're probably too busy doing laps in their swimming pool's of dollar, dollar bills, y'all.

As for Richard Peddie, I'm sick of hearing the catcalls for his firing. Peddie isn't going anywhere. He should be removed from the hockey department, as he was with the basketball department (hence the Raptors meteoric rise), but the man isn't going to be fired. He's simply made MLSE and the teachers way too much loot. According to his most trustworthy wikipedia entry, since taking over MLSE, Peddie has tripled its value to over $1.5 billion. Peddie, although a douche, ain't going nowhere. Deal with it.

The JFJ tenure in Toronto hasn't gone exactly to plan, although since his arrival in 2003 the Leafs have reached the 40-win and 90-point mark in each of his three seasons. Injuries have screwed JFJ and the Leafs, royally, the past few years. A completely healthy lineup is a luxury this team hasn't been able to have. Sure, every team and every general manager has to deal with injuries, but the Leafs, as I've documented, have been cursed by the MLSE injury plague.

One needn't look further than the recent injuries to Carlo Colaiacovo and Mark Bell. Colaiacovo injured his knee, the same knee he had surgery on a few months ago, while skating innocently to the bench after the referee blew the play dead a couple of weeks ago against Philly. He collided innocently with Flyers forward Jim Dowd and, just like that, it was back to the injured list for Carlo. I can't, in good conscience, even call it a collision - they just bumped into each other. Carlo simply cannot catch a break. Bless his heart, the poor guy.

Mark Bell, on the other hand, is plain old stupid. When he was traded to Toronto over the summer I heard he liked to chuck knuckles. Well, turns out that was just a rumour. He doesn't do much knuckle-chucking, but he sure is on the receiving end of a lot of 'em. The man can't fight, but he keeps on dropping the gloves. I'm not sure if Bell was preparing for his upcoming springtime sojourn to, umm, jail, but it's safe to say he won't be fighting for the next little while. A few weeks ago in Pittsburgh, Penguins forward Ryan Malone broke Bell's face in a fight (if you could call it that). Bell went under the knife recently to repair facial fractures (ouch) and will be gone eight weeks. So much more Bell being the dark horse in the Vesa Toskala trade, eh?

The goaltending has also been unkind - ok, very unkind - to the JFJ years. JFJ, in his second year with the team, and coming off the lockout, re-signed Eddie Belfour and watched as Belfour had his worst season in a Leafs uniform. The Buds ended up missing the playoffs by two points, but JFJ was his own worst enemy. He had only himself to blame, for he should never have re-signed the old and creaky Belfour, especially to a ludicrous two-year contract.

JFJ's solution to the Belfour debacle? Good old Razor Raycroft. I'm not even going to go there. However, as bad as the Belfour and Raycrap moves were, JFJ rectified the situation this time around with Toskala. Vesa is one of the few bright spots this year on a moribund Leafs team.

Let's not, however, get it confused - I'm not making excuses for JFJ, even though it seems like I am. The Leafs haven't made the playoffs two out of the three seasons he's been at the helm, and the playoffs are looking like a pipe dream this year as well. That's really all that matters. And, in the understatement of the year, JFJ has made some seriously fucked up personnel decisions. Raycroft's at the top of the list, that's for sure, but there are a ton of others that simply didn't, and haven't, worked out: Eric Lindros, Jason Allison, Jason Blake, Mark Bell, Marius Czerkawski, Brian Leetch, Tie Domi, Andy Wozniewski, and more. I'm not including in that list guys like Bryan McCabe and Pavel Kubina, but I'm sure others would put them at, or near, the top.

I'm rambling now, but there is a point to all my drivel (isn't there always?). JFJ is man who has learned while on the job, and why not give him a crack at turning this ship around. Sure, we can bring in someone new and change everything up, but there are no guarantees in life. It's why I voted Liberal in last October's provincial election. Did McGuinty and the Liberals do a super job the past four years? Uh, not quite. Were they on the right track? In my opinion, yes. If we keep changing our government every four years, what the hell is going to get done around here? Not much.

Changes, especially the systematic ones that the Toronto Maple Leafs so desperately need, take time, and it's time we learned some patience in this town. So I'm all for rebuilding this Leafs franchise, from the bottom up, and I'm saying lets give JFJ a shot at it. Even George went up to that woman in the coffee shop and told her that he was unemployed and lived with his parents. He did the opposite, and I suggest we do the same with our beloved Maple Leafs. We must follow the lead of George Louis Costanza, one of the most brilliant, and most neurotic, minds of our time...

Penguins Layeth The Smacketh Downeth

I'm always bitching and moaning about the lack of accountability on the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey club. Well, Paul Maurice and company ushered in 2008 with some changes, so I've got to show the team some respect. There's only one problem - the Leafs still stink.

Another spanking went into the books last night at the hands of the Pittsburgh Penguins. A 6-2 final, including three goals by the Pens in 48 seconds early in the third period. Three goals in 48 seconds. I can't even make myself a drink in 48 seconds. OK, well, maybe if I try really hard.

As for those changes I mentioned. Andrew Raycroft has been sent to the bench, hopefully with some super glue so he can never play for the Leafs again, and Kyle Wellwood has been banished to the press box as a healthy scratch.

Raycrap can rot in goaltending hell but it's tough times for Welly. He was supposed to be the Leafs' second-line centre this season and was expected to put up 65 points. But it's clear to anyone who's been watching him play that he just isn't the same since his groin and abdominal injuries. I gotta say that Wellwood is one strange cat. He supposedly doesn't own a television and while being interviewed on Tuesday morning about his upcoming night off he was pretty upbeat, and was even wearing a smile. Umm, Kyle, you're supposed to be disappointed. At least show me you're freaking disappointed. I think the whole camera and television thing just tripped him out. At least I hope that was the case. Otherwise he's a douche.

The lineup changes worked on January 1st, although Toronto's opponent were the Tampa Bay Lightning, who are even more pathetic than my Leafs. Haha, losers! Scott Clemmensen, who broke my heart last year, was between the pipes and the Leafs actually won a game via the dreaded shootout. Seriously, I kid you not. A shootout against Vincent Lecavalier, Brad Richards and Martin St. Louis. That's the NHL's leading scorer (Lecavalier), a former Conn Smythe Trophy winner (Richards), and a former scoring champion (St. Louis). Typical Toronto Maple Leafs. It proves that anyone, including Clemmensen, is better than Raycroft the goaltending sieve.

Wellwood was in the press box again last night and Clemmensen got his second straight start in goal, but it didn't matter. The Leafs hung Clemmensen out to dry like he was, well, Raycroft, and I'm guessing Wellwood will be back in the lineup on Saturday night after another anemic offensive performance by the boys in blue and white.

The good news? Isn't much, other than the amazing fact that Jason Blake scored for the first time on the road this freaking season last night at the Igloo. Only took half the year. Atta boy, Blake!

Here's what I'm upset about, and I'll keep it short and simple: Paul Maurice should have called a timeout when Pittsburgh made it 4-1, with two goals in 37 seconds. Instead, play continued and the Penguins bagged another one 11 seconds later. Then Maurice used his timeout, but by then it was already sweet dreams Toronto. Way to coach back there, Mo.

And for the love of Christ, Jiri Tlusty needs to be sent back down to the minors. The rookie played less than five minutes last night. There's no point for him to be playing on the fourth line with a playmaker like Wade Belak when he can be playing 20 minutes a game on the best team in the American Hockey League, the Toronto Marlies. Tlusty is only 19 and the Leafs can't afford to mess with this kid's development, yet they already are. The mismanagement up in here is unreal.

I'm starting to feel a bit Damien Cox-ish about the rest of this Leafs season. By that I mean negative as a mother sucker. The Leafs completed game 41 out of 82 last night, and have only 16 wins to their name. That's not good. Not good at all. The Leafs were handily beaten by a better team - a playoff team - in the Penguins last night. And while we're add it, lets add Ty Conklin's name to the list of goalies to beat the Leafs this season. Brutal.

I have kept believing the Leafs would turn it around - flick the proverbial switch - but since Toronto lost Vesa Toskala to injury, things have gotten seriously bleak 'round these parts. Toronto has dropped four of their last five contests, and seven of nine. The Leafs are the 26th-best-team (got to stay a little positive) in a 30-team-league. It's painful. I'm not too sure how much longer things will be allowed to continue this way, but I've got to believe that one of Maurice or JFJ are going to be picking up the classifieds in The Hockey News in the not-so-distant future.

The only man that can save this Leafs team, and a season that is quickly slipping away, is goaltender Toskala.

Fire the flare. I'm sending out an S.O.S.

There's just one more thing - Mark Bell, please stop fighting. Watching you get knocked out every time is embarrassing.

The Beating of Ontario

Another installment of the Beating of Ontario went into the books last night. This time it was a 5-1 spanking of the Maple Leafs by the Ottawa Senators and, with it, the realization that the Sens are a great team while the Leafs are not.

Games like last night’s test my will as a fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs. I reached for my remote on three separate occasions but couldn’t pull the trigger and actually change the channel. I’m not sure why I stay tuned and watch the Leafs get crushed by the Senators time after time after time, but I do. It’s sick. I have a problem.

I was sincerely looking forward to last night’s game. Not only was it a good test against a most-formidable opponent in the Senators, but the Leafs were finally getting some bodies back – Kyle Wellwood, healthy after two hernia surgeries, and Mark Bell, making his debut as the forgotten man in the Vesa Toskala trade.

Toronto, sitting at .500, was coming off a solid road win in Montreal and although Ottawa is clearly the best team in the league (you can’t argue much with a 13-1 win-loss record), the Leafs played them hard in games one and two of the season. I thought I was in for a competitive match up.

Competitive? Uh, not so much.This one was over five minutes in. Just another go around with the Ottawa Senators, I guess, who are now 15-2-2, including 8-1-1 at home, since the start of the 2005/2006 season against Toronto.

As everyone knows, the Leafs have missed the playoffs the last two seasons. Need a reason? Look no further than their record against their provincial rivals. Toronto’s inability to compete against the Ottawa Senators cost them dearly the last two years, and it’s happening again, as Ottawa has already beaten the Leafs three times in the span of a month.

I'm going to be the happiest man around when the NHL changes the schedule. I'm so tired of the Leafs having to play Ottawa eight times a year. It simply isn't fair - they're too good!

I feel like I’m starring in Groundhog Day, because every time the Leafs and Senators face off, it’s the same story over and over again - severe poundage. Last night was no different. The Leafs repeatedly made bonehead decisions and hung their goalies out to try yet again.

After falling behind four to nothing in the second period Paul Maurice yanked Vesa Toskala (who couldn’t be blamed, not one bit), called a timeout, and gave his team a thorough tongue-lashing. They deserved it, straight up. Once again, the Leafs looked like they weren’t prepared to play and against a team like Ottawa, the best freaking team in the league, that’s simply unacceptable.

I, nor Paul Maurice, don’t have enough fingers to point out all the guys who flat out sucked last night. Jason Blake wasn’t covering his man on the first goal. Ian White was standing at centre ice and his foolish decision led to the two-on-one that resulted in the second goal. On that second goal, Andy Wozniewski could have sprawled to block the cross ice pass, and I’m still not sure what the hell he was doing when he half laid out to try and do it. Matt Stajan and Alex Steen bumped into each other in neutral ice and their idiocy led to another two-on-one for the Sens, which led to the third Ottawa goal, a short-handed tally by Daniel Alfredsson to make it three-nothing. That goal was the back-breaker. Down two-nothing, the Leafs desperately needed the next goal, but it was Ottawa who came out flying once again in the second period and scored on a Toronto power play. It was rather pathetic.

Kaberle was also brutal last night. I’m not sure why he and Kubina were on the same side of the rink on the first Ottawa goal, and Kabby was evidently going for a stroll up ice on the fourth Senators goal, when Kyle Wellwood decided to try and stick handle through four Senator players. The puck was, obviously, turned over and the Senators were off on another two-on-one and wham, bam, thank you m’aam, it was 5-1.

Like I said, I’m not sure why I watched the entire debacle last night. One reason was because the Toronto Raptors were also busy taking it on the chin, at the hands of the pathetic Milwaukee Bucks, no less! Last night was just awful.

As for Wellwood and Bell, their presence in the lineup clearly didn’t do much, eh? Wellwood was out there dangling like a school boy and his presence did nothing for the moribund Toronto power play, which finished 1-9 on the night. Bell saw a shade over 10 minutes of ice time and threw a couple of nice hits. He also landed a couple of good shots to the ugly face of Senators super-pest Chris Neil. Bell’s going to be a useful energy guy for the Leafs, and I’m looking forward to him getting some more ice time.

Toronto actually out-shot the Senators last night. Gerber was good. He doesn't give up any rebounds, it's amazing. The guy’s been tremendous all year, and I hate him because I’ve got Ray Emery in my fantasy hockey pool. It just goes to show that shot total’s don’t mean a damn thing. Not if you’re giving up two-on-one rushes all night.

I’m not done complaining about Andy Wozniewski, Ian White, and the shortcomings of the Leafs defensive game. We’re 16 games into this thing now, and the message is clearly not getting through, as the Leafs have allowed a league worst 62 goals against. Something needs to give. Something needs to change. Enough is enough. Some bloody accountability, please, Coach Maurice.

Bench White, bench Wozniewski, and even bench Kaberle if you have to. The only guy who should be getting a pat on the back right now is Nik Antropov. He’s showed up for every game, and was once again the Leafs’ best player last night, scoring the teams lone goal.

I just find it infuriating that the same weak-ass lineup is paraded out on to the ice day in and day out, when they are simply not delivering the results. Andy bloody Wozniewski will be right back out there on Friday night, while Danny Markov, a serviceable and solid NHL-calibre defenseman, is not playing in the NHL. I don’t get it. Pick up the phone and get Markov's agent on the line already! And don’t anybody dare mention to me anything about the salary cap. The Leafs have some wiggle room against the cap and are the richest sports team in Canada. They can afford to buy out Wozniewski’s contract, which is only a shade above the league minimum anyway, and bring in Danny Markov. What the heck is the wiggle room for anyway? To stop the bleeding, for the love of God.

The blood pressure is boiling, folks. Last night, once the Senators went up 3-0, I couldn’t change the channel. All I could do was press the mute button, grab my ipod, press repeat and put on “Stronger” by Kanye West.

“N-n-now Th-th-that-that don't kill me
Can only make me stronger
I need you to hurry up now
Cause I can't wait much longer
I know I got to be right now
Cause I can't get much wronger
Man I been waitin' all night now
That's how long I've been on ya.”

I said I wasn’t going to pass judgment on this team until 20 games were in the books. Well, we’re only four games away from that mark, and I’ve got my finger right in front of the panic button…

Gone til November

Looks like we're going to have wait a while to get a glimpse of new Toronto Maple Leafs forward Mark Bell. Until November 6th, to be precise. Bell has been suspended 15 games by the NHL.

Well, folks, it could have been worse.

Last month Bell pleaded guilty to drunken driving and hit-and-run charges in California. He'll be going to the slammer once the 2007/2008 hockey season is over - hopefully in June if the stars align - for six months.

Here's a crazy thought: if the Leafs win the Stanley Cup (crazy indeed), would Bell be allowed take the Cup to prison for a day? That would be pretty neat, especially for all the other inmates.

It's been a tough few weeks for Bell. After pleading no-contest to the charges in court in late August, he was suspended indefinitely by the NHL and placed in Stage 2 of the NHL's substance abuse program.

Word dropped today of the 15 game suspension. Commissioner Gary Bettman, in a statement, said all the regular shit all the commissioner's say when a pro athlete acts like a complete idiot and gets in trouble with the law: playing in the league is a privilege and, yada-yada-yada, don't drink and drive.

This corner is going to show Bell some love, because he's tackled his off-ice problems head-on (directly to the forehead). He's not running away or blaming anybody else. He's publicly said he's been sober ever since the incident last year. He's changing his life and looking towards the future. Everyone makes mistakes, Bell's no different.

For some reason though, the NHLPA doesn't agree. They issued a statement saying the suspension doesn't serve any purpose, considering Bell will be going to prison. Clearly, the NHLPA is smoking something. Bell was drinking driving, he could have killed the man he smashed into, and he left the scene of the accident. The NHL had to discipline Bell, just like society did. Bell could have got 20, 30 or even 40 games and it would have been understandable.

I think Bell's got a lot of potential and will bring a lot to the Leafs. He's big, has scored over 20 goals in the league, and is still pretty young. It would have been nice to see him in the starting lineup on opening night, but he'll be a great addition to the team come November.

In other Maple Leafs news, the team unveiled their new jersey today, with only a few subtle changes. It's just another way for MLSE to exploit their fans and make more money. Some things will never change. I know I'll probably end up getting the new duds - I'm one of the chumps they keep ripping off, and proud of it. I already own three Leafs jerseys, but I guess there's always room for one more.

Only 17 more days until the Leafs open their regular season. Excitement is there.

Free Agent Fantasies

I've had a week to ponder the Toronto Maple Leafs acquisition of goaltender Vesa Toskala and left winger Mark Bell. When I first heard of the trade, I felt "restrained jubilation" a la George Costanza. No more Andrew Raycroft! It was like Christmas morning, but in June.

The fact that John Ferguson Jr. pulled the trigger on the deal proves to me that he is not a complete idiot. It also proves that he's not blind either. He saw the quality of goaltending, or lack there of, that Andrew Raycroft provided his team last season. It was pathetic. The Leafs' most pressing need was in goal, and say what you want about Ferguson, he addressed the need. So I'm going to have to give him some props.

Sure, he may have committed the cardinal sin of trading away a first round draft pick, but Leafs management has not left him with many options. He's a man without a contract after the 2007/2008 season. He knows that if the Leafs fail to make the playoffs once again, it's bye-bye John Ferguson Jr. And he also knows that if Andrew Raycroft is the number one goalie for the Leafs again, it's bye-bye John Ferguson Jr.

The Leafs are a better team today than they were a week ago, when Raycroft was penciled in as the starter. For me, that's the bottom line. Only time will tell whether the Leafs really screwed up on this deal. With the 13th overall pick, the Leafs could have drafted Angelo Esposito or Alexei Cherepanov. They could turn out to be solid NHLers. The draft is a gamble, and Ferguson gambled by dealing away three picks. Bottom line, it had to be done.

In talking to other members of Leafs Nation about the trade, I got the usual responses. A couple of people told me the Leafs messed up, because Esposito and Cherepanov are going to be superstars. I've got to get my hands on one of these crystal balls my friends seem to have. They must be nice. I also got the "why didn't we get Vokoun" responses. Vokoun makes over $5 million a season and does not fit into the Leafs' budget. That's why Toskala makes sense. He's a good goalie and he comes at a bargain price of less than $1.5 million. He makes less than bloody Raycroft. This gives the Leafs the option of still being able to sign a forward during free agency. The trade works, people.

I was a little surprised to find out that Toskola is 30 years old. I always thought he was younger than that. Like Kramer said, I guess I just assumed! However, for a goalie, 30 puts him right in his prime. Toskala will provide better and more consistent goaltending than Andrew Raycroft, of that there is no doubt, my friends. All this talk about Raycroft and Toskala splitting the duties is pure BS. Toskala came at a hefty price, and he will be the number one goalie. Raycroft deserves to sit on the bench, and should be grateful that he will get the opportunity to sit on the bench. He should be traded, but we all know that isn't happening. Who in their right mind would give up anything, other than a stick or two of Juicy Fruit, for Raycroft?

The Leafs missed the playoffs by one point last season. One single, measly point. One point while employing arguably the worst starting goalie in the league. Raycroft let in a league worst 205 goals against, 16 more than the brutal Tim Thomas. His save percentage, a laughable .894, was tied for last among goalies that started more than 50 games. Raycroft's stats speak for themselves, and believe me, they're not making a lot of noise. Toskala gets the Leafs at least six to eight more wins, and voila, the Leafs are in the playoffs.

The dark horse in the trade is Mark Bell. He's a big boy, only 27 years old, and although he's coming off a terrible season, he's been a solid winger since he made the NHL in Chicago. He's a rugged winger who adds size, toughness and scoring to the Leafs lineup. He makes around $2 million, and I think he could really swing this trade in the Leafs' favour. With his passion to body check and fight, it won't take long before Bell is a fan favourite at the Air Canada Centre. I'll take Bell over Jeff O'Neill any day of the week, thank you very much.

In Toronto, everything the Leafs do is over analyzed. Case in point, this blog. Personally, I don't think it's a big deal that the Leafs want to hire a Senior Director of Hockey Operations. It doesn't change the fact that John Ferguson has a job to do.

It's hard to believe Ferguson is entering his fifth year as Maple Leafs General Manager. Where does the time go? I think he deserves some serious respect for the way he is handling himself right now. Like I said, he's got no contract after the upcoming season, so he's skating on thin ice. He knows the team has to make the playoffs or he's out of a job. That's pressure. His bosses at MLSE are looking to hire someone above him, and he pulled the trigger on a trade knowing there would be severe backlash in the city. Ferguson, after all, traded away a number one draft pick (Tukka Rask) to acquire Raycroft. His trading of Toskala proves the Raycroft trade didn't work out. But it takes a man to accept his mistakes.

On top of all of that, John Ferguson Sr. is battling cancer as I write this, and the prognosis is not good. John Ferguson Jr. has been by his father's side all week, I learned from the Toronto Star, and is preparing for the opening of the free agent market from his father's bedside. It's not easy to be John Ferguson Jr. right now. He deserves some support right now.

Speaking of the opening of the free agent market, we're just about 36 hours away! I love this time of year. July 1st is a beautiful day.

Every year around this time, I start to fantasize about who the Leafs could possibly add to their roster. This year, of course, there are a lot of big names who will be waiting by their fax machines come high noon on Sunday.

Ryan Smyth. Daniel Briere. Scott Gomez. Paul Kariya. Chris Drury. Todd Bertuzzi. Sheldon Souray. Jason Blake. Brendan Shanahan. Michael Nylander. Michael Handzus...

Sorry, I drooled all over myself. Had to grab a tissue.

The list is quite formidable. I do this every year. I dream big. My mother always told me to reach for the stars. Right now I'm picturing Scott Gomez in the blue and white. Now I'm picturing Chris Drury, Mr. Clutch himself. How about Ryan Smyth wearing Sergei Berezin's old #94? Oh my.

I actually had a dream a couple of years ago that the Leafs had signed Paul Kariya, when he was an UFA, and he was going to play on the wing with Mats Sundin. I awoke to find that it was in fact a wet dream. It doesn't get much better than that, eh? Not the wet dream, I mean Kariya! Come on. Maybe my dream will come true on Sunday, and Kariya and Sundin will make beautiful music together.

I always get my hopes up, and usually it's all for not. The Leafs don't have a lot of money to spend, and probably will only be able to sign a second-tier free agent. I don't really have a problem with that, but I just like to dream. I'm the kid who goes to sleep on Christmas Eve expecting Santa Claus to bring me an XBox 360, and who wakes up to find a Sega Genesis under the tree. That's how the Maple Leafs roll. They bring in the aging, cheap goal scorer, and try to tell me he's just as good as the young superstar.

The last big splash the Leafs made on the free agent front was Alexander Mogilny. I'd definitely take another signing like Alexander the Great. Definitely. I've got great memories of number 89 in Toronto.

In a perfect world, the Leafs land Scott Gomez as their second line centre, trade Pavel Kubina and his fat contract for a draft pick or three, and then sign Ryan Smyth to play with Mats Sundin. The odds of that happening? About the same as me writing a short blog post.

More realistic, you say? Okay, the Leafs sign Paul Kariya. He'd come cheaper than the big name guys like Smyth and Drury, and he would be a nice fit on Sundin's wing. I don't think the Leafs need to pay Ryan Smyth $6 million a year. The Leafs can score goals. They scored a lot of goals last year. The problem wasn't scoring, it was keeping them out. That problem has been addressed.

The Jeff O'Neill experiment is mercifully over in Toronto and it looks as though Mike Peca will not be returning to Toronto either. Peca and the rest of the world differ on Peca's value. He still likes to think of himself as a second line centre, while the rest of the planet simply knows that isn't the case. I'd like to see him come back, but only at the right price. Ditto for Bates Battaglia. The Leafs just have to bring back Bates.

If the Leafs fail to sign any of the big names, they should make a push for Todd Bertuzzi. Sure, he comes with a lot of baggage, but he could be given an incentive based contract, and he would look mighty good in the blue and white.

What can I say, I'm a dreamer.

What do you think? Who's on your wish list?

TSN is going to air Sunday morning at 11am with their show called "Free Agent Frenzy." They'll be broadcasting live as the free agent signings hit the board. Only in Canada.

I'll be watching though, with a bowl of popcorn and a beer. And I'm looking forward to it.

God bless this hockey crazed country which I so proudly call home.

Make me proud, John Ferguson Jr.