A Prophecy Realized

Here's what I wrote back on October 8th ...

"It's going to get worse, before it gets better."

Well, according to the picture above, we've reached bottom.

Think about it: A.J. Burnett, hi$ 5.27 po$t-$ea$on ERA, and hi$ New York Yankee$ teammate$ are World $erie$ champion$.

Paul Beeston, unable to complete the one task he was brought in to accomplish, conveniently tossed aside the "interim" in "interim president." Staying along with him: Cito Gaston, a manager who's worn out his welcome among both players and fans, and who now has an expiry date.

The Toronto Maple Leafs have won one game. Out of 13.

The Buffalo Bills are - you guessed it - last in the AFC East. Terrell Owens? One touchdown.

It's too early for the Toronto Raptors to have disappointed us. But in all likelihood, they probably will. (On an aside, Charles Oakley remains one of the greatest quotes of all time: "These days with these guys I don't know if you can say too much to them without them breaking down and crying, like a girl. It is what it is." Don't ever change, Oak.)

It can't get much worse. Which is why it's going to get better.

Hideki Matsui, World Series MVP Hideki Matsui, is going to look pretty good in the Blue Jays' lineup as their designated hitter.

Vernon Wells had wrist surgery. As my man 40 put it so eloquently years ago: "That changes everything!!1"

The Maple Leafs' search for a goaltender has finally been called off. In Jonas Gustavsson, they've found their man. The Monster and his .901 save percentage will keep the puck out. If Tuesday night was any indication, Phil Kessel will take care of putting the puck in the net. Toronto is a four-game winning streak and another overtime loss away from 6th spot in the Eastern Conference. (Provided the eight teams between them lose five in a row, of course. It could happen.)

Fuck the Bills. They're hopeless.

As for the Raptors, it's never too early for the Chris Bosh "MVP!!1" chant.

When you're at the bottom, the only place to go is up.

(Unless Alex Anthopoulos trades Roy Halladay. Then all bets are off. Fuck.)

Life Isn't Fair

Toronto FC, in the biggest game of its young existence, delivered the type of pathetic performance only a Toronto team could in a must-win situation.

The Toronto Maple Leafs? A strong, and much better, effort. But another loss. Another fucking loss. I don't know about you, but when I think about the Leafs, I find it impossible not to shake my head in disgust. There's certainly no pressure on Phil Kessel to live up to that 2010 first-round draft pick, which I pray - to Allah, Jesus, Buddha, Krishna ... you name 'em, I'm praying to 'em - will not be a lottery pick.

And to end the weekend, a champagne shower of one A.J. Burnett. What we all wanted to see. Fucking Yankee$.

A Simpler Time

I love that picture. It represents what the Toronto Blue Jays were meant to be. It's hard to believe so much has changed in only one calendar year.

I'm exhausted from talking about Alex Rios. And J.P. Ricciardi.

I'm depressed after reading this:

"Roy Halladay, while making clear that he has enough to worry about without deciphering messages from ownership or management, said he was not at all surprised once word got out that Rios was on waivers. (There is a sense of detachment to Halladay that was not previously noticeable.)"

- Jeff Blair, Tale of Two Teams

This team will, as The Ack pointed out, crush your soul.

Yet here I am, wanting nothing more than for Ricky Romero to beat A.J. Burnett this afternoon.

Go Jays.

Was that meaningful baseball?

Because it sure as hell felt like it.

More than 43,000 vocal fans in the building; incessant heckling of Allan James Burnett; a three-for-four night from the man we believe in: Scott Rolen; another home run by Aaron Hill; and a complete game five-hitter, in which he didn't walk a batter, from Harry Leroy Halladay III.

"[Burnett's] the enemy now. We're not rooting for him." - J.P. Ricciardi

Amen, wise general manager. Amen.

A.J. pitched a half-decent game.

Doc was better. He was, well, Doc; sublime. And there was never really any doubt that he would be.

This Blue Jays team is for real. They're also winning the pennant.

UPDATE: Burnett's walk of shame, courtesy my CrackBerry ...

UPDATE #2: I'm still swooning over Doc. Somebody please kick my ass the day I stop appreciating him, and what he does out on the mound.

From today's New York Times: "In his last 19 starts against the Yankees, dating to May 22, 2003, Halladay is 13-2 with a 2.09 E.R.A."

Giggity.

Scotty Richmond, tonight. Do your thing, Canada. ("Canada" is Richmond's new nickname. At least it should be.)

Those obnoxious, annoying Blue Jays fans

I like Jeff Passan. Enjoy his work. Been reading him ever since he joined Yahoo! Sports. But Passan doesn't feel the same way about me, or us. He thinks we - Toronto Blue Jays fans - are obnoxious, annoying homers.

About a month ago, while travelling the internetz, I stopped by a live chat being run by the fine folks at Big League Stew. Cliff Lee was the topic of conversation at the time and, as I involuntarily do whenever I read or hear Cliff Lee's name, I commented that Roy Halladay, and certainly not Lee, should have won the 2008 American League Cy Young Award.

That was enough to set off Passan. Here's what he had to say:

"I have a feeling that if the Blue Jays are ever good again, they're going to give Red Sox fans a run for their obnoxious money.

"I love Roy Halladay -- picked him to win the CY this year -- but come on. How can you make that argument?

"I'm just saying: Toronto fans are tremendously parochial, to the point that it becomes annoying. They are funny and cool and I'd definitely love to drink a beer with them, but their homerism is way over the top."

It's been a few weeks - I am arguably the world's greatest procrastinator - but allow me to respond.

Well, Mr. Passan, the Jays are good again. And while I'm the last person in Toronto to argue a charge of over-the-top homerism, to say that Blue Jays fans could ever be as obnoxious as the Massholes is flat-out fucking ridiculous. That's a whole other level of douchebaggery.

Oh yeah, Halladay. Look, Doc faced the Boston Red Sox, Tampa Bay DEVIL Rays, and New York Yankees a combined 16 times last season. Six starts against New York, and five each against Boston and Tampa Bay. Cliff Lee faced those three teams four times. One start against Boston, one against New York, and two versus Tampa Bay. The only team Lee faced five times last season: the 75-87 Kansas City Royals.

I know the schedule is largely to blame, but that's why I can make that argument, Mr. Passan. Because that disparity has got to mean something.

But it's all good. The beer's on me, Passan. Enough about 2008, and Cliff Lee.

How about Brian Tallet? The much maligned J.P. Ricciardi has somehow put together an embarrassment of riches on the mound for the Blue Jays, and you probably won't find him getting much credit for it.

With guys like Casey Janssen and Ricky Romero set to return in a week or so, and Jesse Litsch not far behind, questions abound. Such as: how the fuck do you return Tallet to the bullpen?

And while I hate to overlook the second edition of Cecil Time this afternoon, Tuesday night looms large: Roy Halladay vs. A.J. Burnett. 

Be there. I need not say more.

UPDATE: I lied, I do have more to say. As bklades pointed out in the comments, and I fully agree with him, when it comes to Jays fans, pessimism reigns supreme.  Most casual fans are just waiting for this Jays team to struggle so they can say "I told you so!" Some advice: if you're going to depart the bandwagon, do so quietly. And use the door at the back, assholes.

No ...

I don't like this. 

Eight innings pitched; three hits and two earned runs allowed; one walk; nine strikeouts; and a no-hitter into the 7th.

"Everyone in the world thinks about it ... I'm not going to lie and say I wasn't. I had good movement on everything. It just wasn't meant to be."

       - Allan James Burnett

"A.J. really stepped up ... We needed a big performance out of someone with a short bullpen, and A.J. likes that."

       - Joe Girardi

No. I don't like this one bit. Hit the disabled list already, Allan James ...

What A Surprise...

You know the memo about that whole "global financial crisis" thing? The New York Yankees didn't get it. Their fax machine is broken, and they haven't checked their email in forever.

To the surprise of absolutely no one, everyone's favourite former Toronto Blue Jay A.J. Burnett is Bronx bound. Five years, $82.5 million. As David Putty would say: "yeah that's right."

In three days, the Yankees have shelled out $243.5 million dollars for Burnett and Fat. Fat. Sabathia. 

That's a quarter of a billion dollars. That's fucked up. But business as usual in New York, I guess.

I ain't mad at A.J. It was probably best that we go our separate ways, and I said goodbye a long time ago. And let's not kid ourselves, he ain't no fool. You and I both know we have taken that deal as well. A.J. had to follow the money, and I'm happy for him. The Burnett clan will be taken care of for many a generation.

It's the Yankees who are foolish. It's the Yankees who deserve to be punished by the baseball Gods for offering an injury plagued soon-to-be 32-year-old a five-year deal.

It's nothing personal, and I wish A.J. all the luck in the world, but I want him to be an even bigger bust than Carl Pavano was in pinstripes. I want Burnett to struggle. Badly. I want the bright lights of New York to mess with him. I want A.J. to hit that disabled list, and hit it early and often.

As I watch the Yankees spend crazy ducats while the Jays shop at the free agency thrift store (see Clement, Matt) and shed payroll, I'm reminded why I hate New York, the entire Steinbrenner family (yes, even the grandchildren), and everything the Yankees stand for.

I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to Roy Halladay vs. A.J. Burnett, Blue Jays vs. Yankees, at the Rogers Centre next summer. I'm definitely going to be there. And I'll probably be booing. Here's hoping Doc teaches A.J. a lesson or two, or ten.

I think Stoeten of Drunk Jays Fans stardom said it best about our friends down in the Big Apple, and pardon the language:

"Honestly...Yankees, Yankee fans, friends and relatives of Yankees fans, please, for the love of fucking Christ, go fuck the fucking fuck out of your fucking selves."

Amen, Stoeten, you crazy mother sucker. Can't anybody put it any better than that. 

See you on the other side, Allan James.

It's Official: I'm Depressed

The onset of winter has me, once again, questioning why I live in this God forsaken city. I hate when Mother Nature whores it up tundra style in fucking November. To add to my malaise, it's official: Manny Ramirez will not become a Toronto Blue Jay this winter.

The dream is dead. J.P. Ricciardi killed it. I know, it was the longest of long shots to begin with and, deep down, I knew it wasn't going to happen. But, well, still. I could have done without J.P. flat out saying "We won't be involved with Manny," and completely ruining my Thursday afternoon. Asshole.

Alright, so Manny won't be donning powder blue. But J.P. will sign one of Jason Giambi or Milton Bradley instead, right?

Apparently not. We're not going after those guys either. 

This is where I get confused. I hate Jason Giambi. With a passion. I hate his steroid-abusing ways, and the fact that he only came clean after he got caught. I hate the stache. I hate that he was a Yankee. But I'd welcome him to Toronto with open arms. That's how much I want his bat (that's what she said).

The same goes for Milton Bradley. The man is a lunatic, but I can't say no to that 2008 163 OPS+.

J.P. Ricciardi certainly has more will power than I.

OK, the kids, Adam Lind and Travis Snider, will play left field and DH. That's cool. All part of the plan. J.P. will use the money he's got at his disposal and plug some holes in the rotation via free agency. Brad Penny, perhaps. Or Derek Lowe. A flier on Jon Garland. Maybe even Pedro Martinez, or Randy Johnson.

Right?

Wrong. None of those guys are on J.P.'s radar. Nobody is. Clearly J.P.'s radar is broken because he's got to be shitting me when he says that he, the Jays, and, by cause and effect, me, are going to be sitting out the free agent frenzy. 

There is one, uh, minor exception. A contract, on lovely Blue Jays stationary and worth $54 million over four years, is currently lost amongst more lucrative offers atop A.J. Burnett's agent's desk. But I simply can't imagine Burnett signing on Toronto's dotted line. He'll take more money, and a chance to play with Derek Jeter, and Mariano Rivera, in the new Yankee Stadium. No hard feelings. I'd take the fattest cheque, too.

I do truly wish for Burnett to stay in the AL East. I want the Jays to face him. A lot. I want the Jays to beat him. I want Roy Halladay to beat him. Ideally, I want him to watch Toronto make the playoffs. And I want to watch him inevitably hit the disabled list (seriously, no hard feelings).

If it were up to me, I'd take all that A.J. money, plus some more, pack it in suitcases, and show up at ManRam's door. Make like Jerry Maguire, you know, and show him the money. Make him an offer he can't refuse.

J.P.'s got to do something. A winter watching on the sidelines is not acceptable, and will not be tolerated. It just might make Richard Griffin's head explode. 

For once, I find myself hoping that Ricciardi is actually lying this time.

Halladay fought the good fight, and won...

Yesterday, I sang the praises of A.J. Burnett and how wonderful he was against the Red Sox and Yankees this season. Now, it's time to lavish praise on his brother in arms in the fight against the evil empires, Roy Halladay.

Really, what can I say about Roy Halladay that I haven't said already? He is the greatest pitcher I've ever known. Doc picked up his 20th win of the season last night and when it was all said and done, I wanted to take him in my arms, much like how A.J. did (pictured, yo).

What a performance from Halladay this season. Simply outstanding. He reached the 20 win plateau for the second time in his career and did it with another complete game gem last night, throwing only 96 pitches. For the good Doctor, anything less than a complete game masterpiece would have been uncivilized. It was his ninth complete game of the season and if that statistic doesn't blow you away, it should. It really should. No, seriously, it should.

Halladay finishes the season with a 20-11 record, 2.78 ERA, 1.05 WHIP, 206 strikeouts, and an opponents batting average of .237. He walked only 39 batters all season. In 246 innings. If that statistic doesn't blow you away, it should. It really should. No, seriously, it should.

To put things in perspective, because that's what I do around here, let's compare Halladay's 2008 season with his 2003 Cy Young Award winning campaign:

2003:

22-7 W/L, 36 games started, 266 innings pitched, 96 earned runs, 26 home runs, 32 walks, 204 strikeouts, 3.25 ERA, 1.05 WHIP, .247 opponents batting average, nine complete games and two shutouts.

2008:

20-11 W/L, 33 games started, 246 innings pitched, 76 earned runs, 18 home runs, 39 walks, 206 strikeouts, 2.78 ERA, 1.05 WHIP, .237 BAA, nine complete games and two shutouts.

You know, it's hard to argue against Cliff Lee winning the Cy Young. He's had a phenomenal season. So, here's what I propose: they split the award. Co-winners, know what I'm saying? If Lee is deserving of the award, and he is, equally so is our Doc. It's been well documented that Halladay has faced stiffer competition and, well, just go back a paragraph and have another look at Doc's 2008 stats. He shaved almost half a run off his ERA from 2003, and threw nine complete games to Lee's four. Nine complete games! Nine! I'm truly starting to believe The Ack over at The Tao of Stieb when he says that Halladay is a pitching machine from the future, sent back in time to save all of humanity.

Speaking of that stiffer competition, check out the layout below to see how Doc fared against the evil empires this season:

Doc vs NYY in 2008 (including last night's bonerific start)

Games started: 6

W/L: 5-1

Innings pitched: 45

ERA: 2.40

WHIP: 0.91

Hits: 34

Runs: 12

Earned Runs: 12

Walks: 7

Strikeouts: 31

Opponents Batting Average: .211

Pretty impressive, eh? Two of those starts were complete games, and one was a two-hit shutout which I had the pleasure of being in the ball park for.

Halladay vs Boston Red Sox in 2008

Games started: 5

W/L: 3-2

Innings pitched: 38.2

ERA: 2.56

WHIP: 0.98

Hits: 32

Runs: 12

Earned runs: 11

Walks: 6

Strikeouts: 24

Opponents Batting Average: .224

Doc threw two complete games against the Sox, both in Fenway Park. One of them was actually a 1-0 loss; damn flaccid offence. Actually, of the nine complete games Doc tossed, three of them were losses. The three losses came during a stretch of four consecutive complete games Halladay threw in April. Yep, you read that right: four consecutive complete games. If that statistic doesn't blow you away, it should. It really should. No, seriously, it should.

I think I began to truly appreciate Doc's greatness this year. He is a superstar in every sense of the word, and I'm a better person for having had the chance to watch him, live and on the tube, every five days. When I grow up, I want to be just like Harry Leroy Halladay III.

Doc, along with his best friend forever A.J. Burnett, fought the good fight against the evil empires. And although we're again on the outside looking in at the post-season, my boys, Doc and A.J., they triumphed over evil. For that, I salute them, especially Doc. A.J. is who he is today because of Roy Halladay.

Thanks Doc, for one hell of a season.

Saying Goodbye, Just In Case...

If that was A.J. Burnett's final start with the Toronto Blue Jays, he went out in style, throwing another gem against the detested, the hated, the loathed New York Yankees.

His line last night, you ask? Eight innings pitched, seven hits allowed, one earned run, two walks, and 11 strikeouts. Filthy. Yeah, the Jays lost, but you can just go to hell  it doesn't matter. Last night was about A.J., and watching him receive a standing ovation, and then a curtain call, made me feel slightly aroused. He deserved it. 

Speaking of curtain calls, they're special here in Toronto. We don't fuck around, you know, like Yankee fans, who give curtain calls to everyone and their mother.

A.J. appreciated his moment in the spotlight:

"It gave me goose bumps and tears, almost at the same time. It's great, man. They've been awesome all year. When they've booed, whether I wanted to admit it or not, they deserved to. I think they realize I've taken a big step from who I was when I first came here."

That's right, A.J., you're a pitcher now. No longer a misunderstood young man with a 95 mile per hour heater who couldn't put it all together. Nope, not anymore. Trust me, we realize.

If he leaves us, you know what I'll miss most about Allan James? Efforts like last night's, against divisional douchebags the Yankees, Boston Red Sox, and (I can't believe I'm saying this) Tampa Bay Devil Rays.

Looking at A.J.'s splits, he was money against the Red Sox and Yankees this season. Below is a breakdown, so check out the layout:

A.J. vs NYY in 2008 (including last night's bonerific start)

Games started: 5

W/L: 3-1

Innings pitched: 38.1

ERA: 1.64

WHIP: 0.94

Hits: 30

Runs: 8

Earned runs: 7

Walks: 6

Strikeouts: 43

Opponents Batting Average: .219

Two of those starts came in Yankee Stadium, one was a complete game, and one was on three days rest.

A.J. vs Boston Red Sox in 2008

Games started: 4

W/L: 2-0

Innings pitched: 27.2

ERA: 2.60

WHIP: 1.23

Hits: 21

Runs: 9

Earned runs: 8

Walks: 13

Strikeouts: 24

Opponents Batting Average: .206

Both of Burnett's wins against the Sox came in Fenway Park, not exactly the easiest place for a guy to pitch, and one was on three days rest. In 13.2 innings on the mound in Fenway, Burnett did not allow an earned run. For you math whizzes out there, that's an ERA of 0.00.

Like I said, money.

While Burnett didn't enjoy the same success against the upstart Rays, he still pitched 'em respectably, going 1-2 with 3.15 ERA, 1.40 WHIP, and a .263 Rays batting average.

Although injuries fucked up Burnett's 2007 season, he did bitch slap the Red Sox once, and the Yankees twice (small sample size alert):

A.J. vs NYY in 2007

Games started: 2

W/L: 1-0

Innings pitched: 15.0

ERA: 0.60

WHIP: 0.93

Hits: 8

Runs: 1

Earned runs: 1

Walks: 6

Strikeouts: 13

Opponents Batting Average: .160

The way Burnett has pitched the Yankees over the last two years, I won't be surprised if New York goes hard at him with a ton of loot. You know, the Johnny Damon approach. If you can't beat him, piss everyone off by offering him, in this case Burnett, a contract he can't refuse, and that no one in their right fucking mind can match. The true Yankee way.

A.J. vs Boston Red Sox in 2007

Games started: 1

W/L: 1-0

Innings pitched: 8.2

ERA: 3.12

WHIP: 1.38

Hits: 9

Runs: 3

Earned runs: 3

Walks: 3

Strikeouts: 11

Opponents Batting Average: .273

I know, it was only one start, but it was a quality.

As you can see, A.J. brought his best against the best. I'll definitely miss that. 

If he leaves, what I won't miss is his 9.82 ERA in 14.2 innings against the Baltimore Orioles (what the fuck?), his 6.61 ERA in 16.1 innings against Oakland (seriously, what the fuck, the Athletics?), and his 7.30 ERA in 12.1 innings against the Texas Rangers (I have no snide comment, the Rangers are the best hitting team in baseball, and it's a damn shame they have zero pitching).

Ironically, A.J.'s "career year" has seen him put up the highest ERA (4.07) and WHIP (1.34) of any season in which he's made 19 or more starts.

I don't mean to take anything away from A.J. He was great this summer, and a lot of fun to watch. He made it past 220 innings, 221.1 to be exact, good for third in the American League. His 18 wins are good for fourth in the AL, and he'll likely finish first in the AL with 231 strikeouts. Post all-star break, Burnett was dominant, putting up an 8-2 record with a 2.86 ERA (including last night's bonerific start). He was a big reason the Jays were able to make September a little more interesting for us playoff-starved fans.

If last night was the end of the line, a Red Sox and Yankees killer is how I'll remember A.J. The injuries and frustration of 2006 and 2007? Fuck it. A.J. circa 2008 was the guy we thought we were getting when we signed him back in 2005. This is why we gave him the dollar dollar bills, y'all. 

Even if we do only end up getting one good year out of Burnett, man, he was worth it. If he leaves, he takes a piece of my heart along with him.

Raise your glass: cheers, A.J. 

Tommy. Fucking. John.

Our worst fears have been realized: Shaun Marcum needs Tommy John surgery. He'll miss the entire 2009 season. It goes without saying, so I'm going to say it anyway: this is a huge blow.

The devastating news dropped late yesterday afternoon, and undoubtedly ruined Friday night for Jays fans across the city, country, and the world, myself included.

Dr. James Andrews, the "Ligament Pimp of Birmingham," will perform the surgery. He's the same cat who gave B.J. Ryan his new elbow. I'm quite certain Andrews is now officially on the Blue Jays' payroll.

From here on out, uncertainty abounds. If A.J. Burnett departs, only Roy Halladay and Jesse Litsch from this year's rotation will open spring training 2009. Dustin McGowan is coming off labrum surgery and won't be ready until May at the earliest, and who knows what we'll be getting when he returns. McGowan might also still have rotator cuff issues, but, well, I don't even want to go there right now.

It looks like David Purcey's spot in the rotation is all but assured now, and the pressure's on J.P. Ricciardi to see if he can convince A.J. to stay. As everyone and their mother is reporting, the Jays are willing to top up A.J.'s contract, but only at a reasonable price. What's "reasonable" these days for a starting pitcher of Burnett's ilk? $15 million. All I know is that Halladay is scheduled to make $14.25 million next year, and there's no way Burnett should be taking home more than Doc.

However, when I read stuff like this, I get optimistic that it'll be harder than we think for A.J. to leave us. As much as we've taken to him this season, I think he's taken to us just the same. Love is there, A.J., love is there.

As The Ack over at The Tao of Stieb so astutely points out, we've had our fair share of arm trouble this season. Marcum is the fourth man to drop, behind Casey Janssen, Jeremy Accardo, and McGowan. It's actually pretty remarkable what the Jays have been able to do this year in light of their injury issues. That's right, Ricciardi deserves some serious props. Give it up. 

Janssen, Accardo, and McGowan will be back next season. If Accardo can return to form, he's another dynamite arm in an already fantabulous bullpen. I'm not sure what the plan is regarding Janssen but considering he's coming off a torn labrum, I can't imagine him being thrown into the rotation. These arms are valuable - Janssen is 27 years old, Accardo and McGowan 26 - and we must tread carefully.

Are the kids - Brett Cecil and Ricky Romero - ready for prime time? I'm thinking not. That's why A.J.'s gotta stay, even though it's a dangerous proposition, considering he's never pitched as many innings as he has this season (over 213). Burnett is bound for a trip to the disabled list. He's practically overdue. But, and it's a big "but," we need him. We need him now more than ever. Tough decisions, and they're Ricciardi's to make. That's why he gets paid the big bucks.  

I know it's pre-Marcum's injury, but check out the "State of the rotation" from Twitchy over at The Southpaw. It's good shit.

When speaking to the media yesterday evening about how he won't be in spring training next April, Shauny Marcum was on the verge of tears. The guy's a warrior. He wants nothing more than to help this team. He will be sorely, sorely missed next year. But we'll be waiting for him when he comes back.

Marcum, like many other courageous men before him, proved that it's really the stronger men who show their tears. That's why I'm not ashamed to say that I cried myself to sleep last night.

We shall overcome. At least I hope we shall.

Until 2009

First of all, fuck you, Dustin Pedroia.

Look at that smug little grin on his face. What an asshole. I'm off Pedroia. Huge.

My apologies, but I had to get that out of the way.

Well, it's all over for the 2008 edition of

our Toronto Blue Jays. We went into Boston needing to take at least three of four, and we got only one. My dream of a Jays' playoff berth has been stored away in its regular place - the depths of my soul - for another winter.

It was a most disappointing weekend, but I'm not going to shit on my team. I'm not going to shit on the offence, or the bullpen - especially my man crush Scott Downs. I'm not going to complain that the Jays, as a team, weren't able to get it done when it mattered most. Instead, I'm going to focus on the positives, and the fact that this team, left for dead so long ago, had me on the edge of my seat watching meaningful baseball in mid September.

I will, however, shit all over the umpires, and Bartolo Colon.

Shitting All Over the Umpires, and Bartolo Colon

I don't know about you, but I thought David Ortiz's slide in the 7th inning of Saturday night's game - a crushing and demoralizing defeat in which the Jays blew a 5-2 lead and lost 7-5 - was bush league. He went cleats up dangerously into Marco Scutaro's leg on what was easily a double play ball. Scoot, obviously, wasn't able to make the play and the Red Sox scored a huge run in the process. Where was the interference call? Where was Ortiz's ejection for his reckless slide? Where was the mother fucking umpire? If that wasn't interference, I'm not sure what is. Oh, and fuck you, Big Papi.

In yesterday's game, Lyle Overbay was robbed of a double in the 9th inning when he was called out by the douchebag second base umpire, whose name I'm too lazy to look up. As you can see in the picture above by the vein ready to explode in Overbay's neck, and the incredibly homosexual smile on Pedroia's face, Overbay was safely in there, and replays proved it. Overbay would have been on third base with only one out in the inning had the correct call been made. Of course, we ended up losing the game by just a run. Fuck you, douchebag second base umpire.

And, seriously, how much of a fatty is Bartolo Colon? His neck has its own zip postal code. Motha sucka clearly has never heard of a stationary bike, or a treadmill.

The Positives

The starting pitching was pretty dope all weekend. David Purcey battled on Friday night, without his best stuff. Jesse Litsch started on three days rest and gave it his all on Saturday night, giving up three earned runs in five and a third innings. The kids were alright, man, and I'm proud of 'em.

If A.J. Burnett does walk as a free agent this summer, and he most surely will, Saturday afternoon is how I want to remember him. Pitching on three days rest the night after the Jays lost the series opener, Burnett was filthy. As The Ack so aptly put it with only a picture, "Nails."

Travis. Mother. Fuckin. Snider. He homered and doubled on Saturday afternoon, driving in five runs, and added another RBI in the nightcap. He gave notice to the Red Sox and their fans that he has, at only 20 years old, arrived, and is for real. As I like to say, Travis Snider is the truth. For guys like Adam Lind and Sniderman (hat tip to the The Ack, who coined that awesome nickname), the future is tremendously bright.

Some jackass in the comments section over at The Tao of Stieb, who doesn't even have the balls to leave his name, made the utterly foolish assertion that because Roy Halladay lost to the White Sox on Wednesday and to the Red Sox yesterday, "he is not a big game pitcher." It gets better: "Right now, Lester is the better pitcher and beat Halladay."

Doc gave up six hits and two earned runs in seven innings against the defending World Series champions, in Fenway Park. He struck out five and didn't walk a batter. But he's not a big game pitcher. And Jon Lester is better than him. You see, this is the type of nonsensical bullshit we have to put up with here in Toronto. I hate to use the word retarded, you know, for politically correct reasons, but that anonymous commenter over at The Tao of Stieb is, well, retarded.

In Defense of Downs

Watching Scott Downs fall flat on his face while the Red Sox scored the winning run on Saturday night, and essentially silenced our faint playoff hopes in the process, was gut-wrenching. He was tagged for three runs, and the loss, in the type of game he's been money in all year long.

The bullpen has been so strong all year, with Downs leading the charge. Saturday night was one lead they couldn't hold on to, and I can't find it in me to be down on the guys. No way. The pen is one of the main reasons why the Jays were able to make something of this season, and they deserve better than a public flogging from me.

As for Downs, it turns out he didn't heed the advice of trainers and doctors when he rolled his ankle a month ago on August 13th. Since his return from a week off after the injury, Downs has struggled, and it was the same ankle that led to his most inopportune, and embarrassing, fielding mishap. But I'm going to give props to Downs for playing hurt. He wanted to be out there for his team, and I can't be mad at him for that. I still have mad man love for Scotty Downs.

Looking Forward

With only 12 games left on the schedule, and an 80-70 record, the Jays need to finish strong and look to 2009. Selfishly, I want 90 wins. Ten out of twelve. It's a tall order, but I've got faith in these guys. They've proved over the last two months that they can play with anybody in the American League. 90 wins won't be enough to quiet the J.P. Ricciardi haters out there but, really, how do you fire the general manager of a team with 90 wins in the AL East? I don't think you do. Stay tuned, a Ricciardi inspired post entitled "One More Year" is coming down the pipe.

With twelve games left to play, both Burnett and Halladay will get at least two more starts. They've both got 18 wins, and it would be quite a way for A.J. to go out if both he and Doc can get to 20 wins. They've been the best one-two punch in the American League this year and I'll always be left to wonder just how scary their combination would have looked in a playoff series. For shame.

I'll be watching the final twelve games of the season with interest because this is a good baseball team. A playoff team. I truly believe that. As Mike Wilner was so kind enough to point out, the Jays' fate was determined not this weekend, but in April and June, when they went a combined 21-33. For the rest of the season, the Blue Jays sport an impressive record of 59-37. So when you hear or read someone say that Doc isn't a big-game pitcher, or that the Jays choked, take it for what it is: bullshit. This season was not lost when we couldn't close the gap in the wild card race to 7.5 games with 12 games left to play. It was lost early on in the year, when we couldn't beat the Royals, Mariners, Indians and Athletics of the baseball world.

In the end, the hole the Jays dug themselves was simply too deep to climb out of. But it was exciting as fuck to watch them do everything they could to try.

See you in 2009, with bells on, Massholes.

Remember...

To vote for Tom Cheek. Please and thanks.

On The Ropes, And Still Delusional

Last night didn't go so well. Eighty-five year old shitballer Tim Wakefield had his knuckleball dancing; dancing right around the Jays' bats. We're on the ropes, my friends.

It's one thing to get spanked at Fenway Park in one of the biggest games of the year. But to get three-hit over eight innings by knuckleballing douchebag Tim Wakefield? Wow. That's got to be the best way to kill the "we're in a pennant race" buzz I was enjoying.

I don't really want to talk much about last night's affair. I hate Wakefield. I thought David Purcey pitched well considering the circumstances and the fact that he didn't have great command all night. He's making a strong case to be a permanent fixture in next year's rotation.

I would, however, like to have a word with Jason Frasor, that useless piece of shit. Giving up a three-run home run to Kevin Cash? Kevin mother fucking Cash? He of the career .184 batting average? Brutal. Frasor, you should be deeply ashamed of yourself. 

Being on the ropes is a lot different than being on the mat. We're still alive, albeit barely, and we'll see what the Jays are made of in today's doubleheader. A.J. Burnett takes the ball in game one, and Jesse Litsch will be on the mound tonight. I'm hoping Burnett makes one of his final appearances in a Jays uniform one of his best yet. Make me proud, talented bonehead.

On Cy

Cliff Lee won his 22nd game yesterday, beating the always awesome Kansas City Royals FOR THE FIFTH TIME THIS SEASON. On behalf of Roy Halladay, fuck you Kansas City Royals.

I have a hard time believing that Lee, with a 22-2 record, will not win the Cy Young award. He's got it sewn up. He's faced shitty opposition all year and, to his credit, he's done his part.

While I think there's still a case to be made for Doc's Cy Young candidacy, Lee is going to win the award, and that's fine. He can have it. He deserves it, you know, for beating the Royals five times, Oakland twice, Seattle twice, and Detroit twice. 

At the end of the day, we all know who the better pitcher is.

DJF - Delusional Jays Fans

In the comments section of my last post, visitor Pseudonym busted out the "You are delusional" comment. It's not the first time I've heard it, and it certainly won't be the last.

Oddly enough, my brother in arms The Ack over at The Tao of Stieb wrote a post about delusionality last night. He's on point, as usual, so go and check out what he had to say. 

Of course we're delusional. The Ack is right. It's why we're still fans of our Blue Jays, 15 years removed from their last playoff game. It's why we hope, why we cheer, and why we follow this team. Because the Toronto Blue Jays are our team. Some call it being delusional, I call it being a fan.

I'm sure Colorado Rockies fans were called delusional last year, when their team won 15 of their final 16 games to force a one-game playoff, which they won, and went all the way to the mother fucking World Series.

I'm sure Philadelphia Phillies fans were called delusional for believing their team could overcome a seven game deficit in the standings in September. And their team did just that.

Rockies fans and Phillies fans, those delusional mother fuckers, laughed last. And loudest.

I can only hope to do the same. It may not happen this year. But I know it will, eventually.

Go Jays.

Meaningful Games In September

That's right folks, we're playing 'em.

I decided last night that the cut off line to determine whether a team is still in the race on September 12th is 7.5 games. If you're trailing by more than 7.5, say goodnight. The Jays are 6.5 games back, and in Boston for four. In other words, it's a race, bitches.

This is what we asked for at the start of the season. This is why me and the boys bought a 20-game flex pack six games into the campaign. This is why we back-ended the flex pack. Because we believed. And the Toronto Blue Jays have rewarded our faith.

Proof that the Gastonian one and company believe this series is, for all intents and purposes, the beginning of the playoffs for the Jays can be found in the fact that Roy Halladay, A.J. Burnett and Jesse Litsch will all be pitching on three days rest this weekend.

You know what else that means? That Burnett and Halladay will face the Red Sox when they're in town next week. You're damned right it's crunch time.

The Jays have 16 games left on their schedule, seven against the BoSox. To reach 95 wins, the Jays need to win all their remaining 16 games. Like The Ack said in the comments section over at The Tao of Stieb, the Jays have nothing to lose. We were written off months ago. The pressure is on the Red Sox.

Is it possible that the Jays will clear the table the rest of the way? Sure, but the odds are heavily stacked against them. But if I'd have told you that the Jays would win 10 in a row, and 11 out of 12, against the New York Yankees, Tampa Bay Rays, Minnesota Twins, and Chicago White Sox in late August and early September, you wouldn't have believed me. That's baseball, baby. You never know what you're going to get.

In an hour and a half David Purcey will take the mound against knuckleballing douchebag Tim Wakefield in the biggest series the Blue Jays have played in recent memory. I'm so excited I can hardly contain myself.

I've been a believer since April 1. Ain't no point in stopping now. Go Jays. Let's do the impossible.

It's Over...but Travis Snider has arrived!

It's official, I've pulled the plug. Rest easy, 2008 Toronto Blue Jays. Yes, it was over long before last night, but Carl Pavano, Carl fucking Pavano, drove the final nail into the Toronto coffin.

Whatever was ailing the Blue Jays under the John Gibbons regime has returned. With a vengeance. Toronto pitching held the first place Tampa Bay DEVIL Rays - yes, it's still hella weird to say they're in first place - to only six runs over three games, but the Jays left Tampa for New York with only one win.

Last night, A.J. Burnett pitched a complete game, seven-hitter in the Bronx, and he took the 2-1 loss. I've said it before and I'll say it again: it cannot be fun to pitch for this group of hitters.

Speaking of the anemic offence, Jays fans got a glimpse of the future last night, as Travis Snider made his major league debut. I don't know about you, but I had a hard on when he came up to the plate for the first time.

The kid didn't disappoint. He stroked a ball deep into centre field for a double his second time up, and scored the Jays' only run of the ball game. He's only 20 years old, but Snider is going to make playing out the stretch a lot more interesting and fun to watch.

Snider's arrival was paved thanks to the trade-age of Matt Stairs to the Philadelphia Phillies. Stairs is, as my main man Steve Paikin always says, a great Canadian. We all knew he wore that Toronto Blue Jays jersey with a hell of a lot of pride, and I'm definitely sad to see him go. He had some great things to say about Toronto, and you can read all about it at the Thullard Jays Fans website.

Stairsy's on his way to a contender, and I don't doubt that he'll help the Phillies in their quest to make the playoffs. His career is winding down, and I think it's great that he gets to finish it with a team like the Phillies, instead of riding the pine here in Toronto, as we're clearly going with more of a youth movement. Thanks for the memories, Stairsy.

I'm looking forward to new ones from Travis Snider.

We Were Due...

For a shit-kicking. David Purcey vs. Andy Pettitte was really a no-contest from the get go. Purcey struggled, Pettitte was effective, and the Jays bats were eerily silent yet again.

For the Yankees, there were positives all around. They stroked 10 hits, including a two-run bomb from Derek Jeter, Pettitte was lights out, and Johnny Damon didn't drop a fly ball all night.

I was hoping to see Purcey step up and deliver against a lineup the likes of New York's, but he was brutal, falling behind most of the hitters he faced in his four innings of work. You can't do that up here in the big leagues, especially against the Yankees. They'll burn you everytime, those bastards.

The esteemed Robert MacLeod of The Globe and Mail completely stole my thunder and wrote the post I was thinking about writing, over at Globe on Baseball. With Purcey and Jesse Litsch manning the back end of the Blue Jays rotation, it's going to take a Festivus miracle for the Jays to get within striking distance of the wild card. The injury to Dustin McGowan really, really fucks things up.

Doc Halladay takes the ball in tonight's rubber match. There's no other guy I want on the mound in what is pretty much a must-win game.

I wonder, if the Jays can somehow close the gap to within five games, might we see a four-man rotation of Doc, A.J. Burnett, Shaun Marcum, and Litsch? A.J.'s only a Blue Jay for 40 odd more days, why not send him out there every four days.

Yesterday's silver lining? The Baltimore Orioles did us a solid and finally beat the Red Sox. We're still 7.5 games back.

Thank You Johnny Damon

I would like to take this opportunity to thank New York Yankees douchebag outfielder Johnny Damon for his shocking inability to catch routine fly balls at the Major League level.

Thank you, Johnny Damon. Thank you for sucking so incredibly.

Damon made sure A.J. Burnett got his 16th win last night. I was at the ball game and, trust me, Burnett deserved it. It might have been his finest performance in a Blue Jays uniform; five hits scattered over eight strong innings, one walk, and 13 punch outs. A.J. struck out Damon, Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez and Jason Giambi a combined 10 times. That's domination, folks, plain and simple.

Burnett's now third in all of baseball in wins and strikeouts. He could win 20 games and, boy, wouldn't that be something? It's a damn shame every year can't be a contract year.

Props out to Adam Lind for his game-tying home run in the 7th inning off Yankees starter Darrel Rasner, who was bitch slapping the Jays up until that point. For the record, I prophetically called the Lind home run. And I've got a witness. It might have been the beer talking but, hey, you can call me Navstradamus from here on out.

Do you want to know how sick Adam Lind is? No, do you really want to know? Check this out, jack, from the charming fellas over at The Southpaw.

Props out to Lyle Overbay and B.J. Ryan as well. Overbay made a helluva play on A-Rod in the 9th, gunning him down at second as he tried to stretch a bloop single into a double. Overbay's been a disappointment at the plate (who hasn't?), but I've still got man-love for Lyle. And The Beej picked up his 24th save on the year, getting A-Rod, Giambi and Xavier Nady in the 9th.

I figured the Jays would struggle to put runs on the board last night, coming off that ridiculous 15-run explosion at Fenway Park on Sunday, and they did. But thanks to Damon's misadventures out in centre field, we got the 2-1 win, and that's all that matters.

The series, and one huge week of baseball, continues tonight. Make me proud, David Purcey.

Not Waving The White Flag...Yet

I still don't have it in me to throw in the towel on the Jays' season. Perhaps that's because I'm a homer. Or simply an unrealistic idiot. Regardless, I just don't have it in me.

Before I go forward, I'd like to stricken the Cleveland series over the weekend from the record. Let's just, you know, toss it out the window, and fuhged about it. Cool? Cool.

The Jays have been playing decent baseball, and guess who got another win last night? That's right, A.J. Burnett. For those of you keeping track at home, that's 15. Fifteen fucking wins from A.J. Burnett. I must admit that after his first two injury-plagued seasons in a Toronto uniform, I didn't think I'd ever see this day.

I love Burnett. As I recently blathered, I hope he stays.

It was great to see the Jays' offence pick up their pitcher last night. Down 4-1 heading into the seventh, Toronto batted around, scored four, and made sure A.J. left the game in line to get the win.

Two at-bats in the bottom of the seventh stood out. With Adam Lind at first (three more hits last night, including another home run; how sick is this kid!?!?), Johnny McDonald battled Tigers pitcher Bobby Seay through a long, long at-bat, which must have been at least 10 or 11 pitches, before doubling down the left field line. Mac's taken a lot of heat for his toothpick-like hitting abilities, but he came up big last night, and his average is now at least over the Mendoza Line. Even with his minner stick at the plate, I'm glad Mac's seeing some more playing time. If only for the selfish reason to watch him play shortstop. The guy's a wizard.

After MVP (Most Versatile Player) Marco Scutaro brought Mac home, Vernon Wells' twig provided the other rather large, clutch hit. Welcome back, Vernon. His double scored Scutaro and Alex Rios, and put the Jays in the lead for good. Say what you want about Wells and how disappointing the first two years of his mammoth contract have been, you know how much his bat means to this offensively challenged lineup.

Scoot also deserves some props. I think the only position the guy hasn't played this year is catcher. And considering how low Gregg Zaun's stock has fallen in the eyes of the Gastonian one, I wouldn't be surprised to see Scutaro strapping on the pads.

Scoot's the everyday third baseman until further notice, now that Scott Rolen has hit the disabled list. Wells comes back, and Rolen takes his place on the DL. That's just how we roll here in Toronto.

There should be zero talk of Rolen coming back this season. His shoulder's fucked, and his health has got to be the number one priority. Two years and over $20 million remain on his contract - that's, umm, kind of a lot of dough - so Rolen and the Jays should be thinking about 2009. He's got to get healthy, because at the plate, he's a shell of his former self. If a fourth surgery isn't an option, I'm not sure what's next. Might retirement enter the equation? Seems kind of premature, but I don't know. All I know is Rolen is not the player he used to be. BUT I'm not going to shit on J.P. Ricciardi over the (Glaus/Rolen) trade. No way. I loved the trade when it was made, and still think it was one J.P. had to make at the time. Hindsight is easy, motha suckas.

The boys are back to two games over .500 - what do you know, a 1-2-3 inning from B.J. Ryan! - and have two more games in Detroit before heading over to Fenway Park for a date with the Massholes. Here comes the heat. Fifteen games in a row against the Boston Red Sox, Tampa Bay DEVIL Rays, and New York Yankees.

The days of reckoning are upon us, my friends. These might very well be my 2008 Toronto Blue Jays playoffs. Regardless of what you think, and whether you believe the Jays are still in this or not, the season will be decided in the next two weeks.

Is it extremely likely that the Jays will continue to play .500 baseball over the next two weeks, or get spanked by their three divisional opponents in front of them in the standings? Yes. Absolutely.

Is it possible that they go on a 13-2 run and get themselves back in the race? Yes. Absolutely.

The odds are 50/50, my friends. I don’t know about you, but I’m setting myself up for some serious disappointment going with option number two.

Make me proud, Blue Jays...

Won't You Stay, A.J.?

Holy shit. I think A.J. Burnett is finally, finally, putting it all together. We're not even halfway through August, and Burnett registered his 14th win of the season last night. I'm like, giddy.

Burnett! With 14 wins! In August! Two more than his previous career high! Sigh. Our A.J. is all grown up.

I get the feeling Burnett is enjoying pitching for Cito Gaston. Since the Gastonian one returned to the Toronto dugout, A.J.'s won eight of 10 starts. He made it four dubyas in a row yesterday to complete the four-game sweep of the hapless Athletics of Oakland.

What made yesterday's win so sugary sweet was the fact that Burnett didn't have his best stuff, and had to battle. Oakland jumped out to an early 3-0 lead, which led to a mound visit from Cito in only the second inning. Whatever Gaston said, it worked. Burnett worked his tail off the rest of the way, going six innings and giving up four earned runs on the night. But most importantly, he kept his team in the game, and his offence responded by bringing out the brooms.

Again, I must reiterate that I absolutely love how Gaston goes out to talk to his pitchers during the game, instead of sending pitching coach Brad Arnsberg to do the deed. Cito's just heavenly.

Speaking of Gaston, he's coming back next year. And I couldn't be happier about it. It's a celebration, bitches!

Back to Burnett. It's apparently only a foregone conclusion that he's going to opt-out of the final two years of his contract with the Jays come seasons end. I wouldn't be surprised if he does. Nobody should be. He'd be an idiot not to, really. He's having a career year at the most opportune time in his life, and everyone knows pitchers get grossly overpaid on the open market (hello, Carlos Silva).

A part of me, however, is hoping, and praying, that A.J. proves all of us wrong. With $24 million left on his contract, it's not like he's going to have trouble feeding his family if he sticks around. Perhaps, as crazy as it sounds, A.J. is content here in Toronto, along with his best friend forever Roy Halladay, his mentor Brad Arnsberg, and his favourite manager Cito Gaston. Perhaps A.J., after years of searching, and after years of trying to harness his amazing potential, has finally found his happy place. And it happens to be right here with the Toronto Blue Jays.

I don't think there'd be anything better in the whole wide world than A.J., at the end of the season, coming out and saying: "You know what? Fuck it. I'm staying. We have unfinished business here in Toronto."

A man can dream...

I leave you with a phenomenal post from The Tao of Stieb, on the douchebags known as bandwagon Blue Jays fans. Do yourself a favour and read it. No, really, read it. I'll wait. No, I insist.

Back? Cool. I know, I told you it was great. It's the perfect example of why I read, and why I love, The Tao of Stieb, probably the best Toronto Blue Jays blog that exists out here on Al Gore's internet.

Marcum's Back, Bitches

It was his fourth start since coming off the disabled list a couple of weeks ago, but Shaun Marcum, the real Shaun Marcum, returned last night. It was a pleasure to see him on the mound dominating the opposition once again.

Marcum was lights out against the pathetic Oakland A's, who've dropped nine in a row and are finally playing like the craptacular team most of us thought they were.

North of Steeles was hit hard in his previous three starts. He'd given up 16 earned runs, as well as a disturbing six home runs, in 14.2 innings of work. I'll admit it, I was beginning to grow a little concerned. Marcum had been so lights out up until his injury (a 2.65 ERA in over 98 innings pitched), and we need him more than ever if we have any hopes of making something out of the rest of this season.

Well, Shaun took the ball last night and quelled my fears. He shut down the A's over seven innings, giving up only three hits, walking two, and striking out seven. Oakland's only run did come via the long ball but, hey, I'm not complaining after a pitching performance of that calibre.

The Jays hitters didn't exactly light up Gio Gonzalez in his first big league start (shocking!), but Rowdy Rod Barajas hit a three run dinger in the first inning, and it was all the Jays would need. Now, I'm not sure how many three run bombs the Jays have hit this year and I'm too lazy to actually check, but I would think that they haven't hit more than seven (let's not kid ourselves, I'm probably wrong). So, it's always fun and special when it happens.

Our beloved birds, winners of three in a row and four of their past five (including a come from behind walk-off!), once again continue the severe cock-teasage of their most loyal fans. With a record of 58-56, and trailing the Boston Red Sox by 7.5 games in the race for the wild card, yes, it certainly is going to take a miracle.

As my man WillRain points out over at The Southpaw, the Blue Jays are one of the hottest teams in the game since June 22nd, playing over .600 baseball. In all effectiveness, two brutal 14 game stretches have ruined Toronto's season and have made the playoffs the longest of long shots.

To everyone out there who bitches and moans that the baseball season is too long, read the above-linked-to post over at The Southpaw and let it sink in. Every game, every single God damn mother fucking game, whether it's number one or number 162, matters.

Of course, there will be no throwing in the towel from this corner. Not yet, at least. The Blue Jays still control their own destiny. With a rotation that features the zen-like Roy Halladay, a healthy A.J. Burnett, and the Shaun Marcum who chucked last night, I'll take, and actually like, our chances.

Believe. Really, what do you have to lose?