146

"The rate at which a person can mature is directly proportional to the embarrassment he can tolerate."

- Douglas Engelbert

If that's the case, after allowing one-hundred and forty-fucking-six (146!!1) points, the Toronto Raptors must be done maturing. Right? It can't possibly get much worse, or much more embarrassing, than last night in Atlanta, can it?

Whatever ails this Raptors squad, surely Reggie Evans cannot cure it on his own.

Once again, playing the part of the reasonable, even-keeled fan, I think it's an appropriate time to call for the coach's head. Fire Jay Triano. "At least we're not the Nets" is not a good enough excuse. (After Boston, the Atlantic Division standings are a crime against humanity.)

Toronto currently finds itself in the throes of an absolute coaching nightmare. Triano is in completely over his head, and is being called out by his players. Ron Wilson, much like his team shorthanded, is useless. And Cito Gaston ... Cito simply needs to sail into the senior advisor sunset.

The Lowest of Low Blows

"You acting like a little bitch right now."

- O-Dog (in Menace II Society)

It was the knee to the nether regions felt around the suddenly frigid city of Toronto Friday night. Paul Pierce, on Chris Bosh. Where it hurts. Leaving Pierce standing atop Bosh, flexing and glaring over, for all intents and purposes, the franchise. Yet another proud moment in the history of Bryan Colangelo's Toronto Raptors.

In typical Raptors fashion, it was Jay Triano, our lovable Canadian head coach, who had - and pardon the pun - the balls to say anything about it.

The silence from Hedo Turkoglu, Jose Calderon and Jarrett Jack spoke volumes. Here are three guys who are signed to multi-year deals with the Raptors, and who know Bosh is headed for free agency. And not one of them could find it in his pretty little heart to step up for their best player; for the guy who night in and night out gives Toronto a chance to win. It was just the message Bosh was looking for from his teammates as he contemplates his future: "Stick around, drop 20/10 a game, and we most definitely don't have your back."

And if Andrea Bargnani was on the floor, he probably wouldn't have done a damn thing, either.

Does Brian Burke have any extra truculence laying around? Fuck.

After the clobbering of Bosh's crotch, the post-CB4 era in Toronto may arrive sooner than expected. Followed shortly by the post-Colangelo era.

Only Reggie Evans and the ghost of Charles Oakley can save us now.

On Chris Bosh ...

From AltRaps over at uber Toronto Raptors blog Raptors Republic:

[Chris Bosh] finishes the season averaging 20/10, in the company of only two other players in the league, yet the idiots in the peanut gallery want to dump his ass for whatever we can get and make out that he doesn't play with heart. Idiots. 21pts and 19boards against a team that was playing for something. Just smile, Chris...big up yaself.

After perusing the stats, there's only one player in the NBA, other than Toronto's CB4, who definitively averages 20/10: Dwight Howard (20.6/13.8). You might know him as Superman.

Two other guys who just about pull it off: The Big Fundamental himself, Tim Duncan (19.3/10.7). And the pride of the People's Republic of China, Yao Ming (19.7/9.9).

I know what you're thinking. And I agree. Tim Duncan does have the best nickname. Ever.

Anyway, that's some pretty impressive company for Bosh to be in, no?

The season's over. It's decision making time for Bryan Colangelo. He's under the bright spotlights now. Does he get Bosh's autograph on a long-term contract before his deal expires in 2010? Does he bring back Anthony Parker? Shawn Marion? Joey Graham? Pops Mensah-Bonsu? The legendary Jake Voskuhl? What about head coach Jay Triano? Oh, the questions.

If it were up to me, I'd re-sign Marion. The Raptors desperately need his eight rebounds per game. He can't create his own offence, but that's what Jose Calderon is for. You know how I feel about Pops. I'd re-sign AP, too, only because I'm an emotional suck, and only to come off the bench. Joey Graham, good luck and Godspeed. Voskhul's a no brainer; bring him back. What a cheerleader. And I've no idea what to do with Triano. I'll trust Colangelo on that one. 

And you're damned right I'd re-sign Christopher Wesson Bosh to an extension. Or at least try to. If he refuses, then the trade route must be explored. We wouldn't get fair value, no way, but Vince Carter taught me a couple of valuable lessons: one, he's a douchebag; two, this franchise cannot afford to make a trade like his again.

Look, I'm not a fan of Bosh's online habits either, but he brings it on the court, and that's why option number one must be to lock him up. At the end of the day, 20/10 speaks for itself.

What would you do?

Same Shit, Different Coach

It was great to see the Toronto Raptors respond to the firing of their head coach Sam Mitchell. Instead of getting hammered by 39 points like they did on Tuesday night, the Raptors lost to Utah by only 27. That, my friends, is what I like to call progress.

Jay Triano, welcome to hell.

I wonder if Bryan Colangelo still thinks this is the most talented Raptors squad he's ever put together. He can't possibly believe that anymore. I mean, I've convinced myself of some crazy shit over the years, but let's forget contending. It's looking more and more like this Raptors team is going to have to fight for its life just to qualify for the playoffs.

Much like Tuesday's debacle, last night was no contest. The Jazz shot 52% from the field and dominated the boards, outrebounding the Raptors 52-38.

I caught the game on radio. If I had a nickel for every time I heard "Calderon gets beat," I'm pretty sure I'd have enough coin for a pint or two of Cameron's over at The Bow and Arrow.

It was another pathetic defensive performance by the Raps on a night when I figured they would come out with, at the very least, some intensity, heart and desire. You know, all that intangible bullshit. But, nope, the Raptors couldn't be bothered. Utah scored 66 of their points in the paint, for Christ's sake.

Jazz forward Paul Millsap, in 33 minutes on the floor, had as many offensive rebounds as the entire Raptors team: three. And your guess as to who this Millsap fellow is is probably as good as mine.

After yesterday's performance, I guess we can all rest assured knowing that what ails the 2008/2009 Toronto Raptors was clearly Sam Mitchell manning the sidelines.

Deep Thoughts Vol. 15: Dark Days

It's been a rough 48 hours in Toronto; my city, and my home. Teams are losing, owners are dying, hard-working people are getting laid off, and coaches are getting fired. Me? I blame the economy.

Farewell SMitch

Bryan Colangelo finally dropped the hammer. You know, no word of a lie, I woke up Wednesday morning knowing that Mitchell was in the final hours of his tenure as lead Raptor. After Tuesday night's epic fail, the writing was on the proverbial wall.

This one falls into the "You can't fire the players so you've got to fire the coach" category, period. Colangelo had to do something, especially after the Denver Nuggets ran roughshod all over his team. That might have been the most embarrassing 48 minutes in Toronto basketball history.

There are a lot of people in Toronto who are happy today, and celebrating Mitchell's departure. I read a lot of shit on Facebook last night - "Good riddance Uncle Sam," "This is where I become a Raptors fan," "Finally! I can start cheering for the Raps again!" - and to these people I say: you're an idiot, your anger and frustration is aimed at the wrong person.

Bryan Colangelo is the one to blame. Yes, the same Bryan Colangelo whom I have perfomed verbal fellatio on many times in this very space. Like I said, the honeymoon is over. 

Just look at the Toronto roster. Even with Chris Bosh playing like a man possessed, Jose Calderon playing like, well, Jose Calderon, and Andrea Bargnani playing decent ball, the team still stinks. The worry about Colangelo's prized off-season possession Jermain O'Neal was that he can't stay healthy and, surprise surprise, he can't. And the problem on the wing has been evident since opening night.

Not even Red Auerbach himself could get the Raptors to meet the lofty, yet extremely unrealistic, expectations that have been placed on them. 

Coaching, in my humble opinion, can only go so far. The Raptors plain and simple can't defend. The team is allowing more than 100 points a game, and I don't think that's because of Mitchell's defensive schemes. Sam isn't the one out on the court falling for every single God damn pump fake.

Is Jay Triano the answer? I love him, but only to the Jeapordy question "Who was the first Canadian head coach of an NBA team?"

On an aside, anyone else kind of miss T.J. Ford, and 48 minutes of glorious point guard play? I do. Largely because Will Soloman is the devil.

I'm going to miss Sam. I'll miss his personality, his candor. He was good people. It's unfortunate the SMitch era had to come to an end this way, and that Raptors fans are taking petty parting shots at him as he leaves town. They don't speak for all of us, Sam.

And I would also like to point out that, for the record, the fellas over at The Passion That Frustrates Us All saw SMitch's firing coming from a mile away. Bastards.

Man, that 2007 division title feels like it was 10 years ago, doesn't it?

R.I.P. Mr. Rogers

Toronto Blue Jays owner, Ted Rogers, had his contract expire early Tuesday morning. He was 75 years old. May the media mogul rest in peace. 

Uncle Teddy was a shrewd businessman, and God knows his family is well taken care of. I mean, have you ever stopped to think how much money Rogers Wireless makes just off the mysterious System Access Fee?

In all seriousness, there were times years ago when the fate of the Blue Jays was in question. Were it not for Rogers and his deep pockets, this city could very well have lost its baseball team. So, thank you, Uncle Ted. May the family name continue to prosper.

Holiday Cheer

Hours after the team's owner checked out for the afterlife, the Blue Jays showed 24 front-office employees the door. Yes, the Christmas spirit is alive and well down at the Rogers Centre. Make sure to swing by the Cable Box when you're out singing Oh Holy Night.

Fucking economy. I'm scared.

"They Are Who We Thought They Were!"

Really, is there a more apt quote than that from Dennis Green about the San Jose Sharks? That's one sexy hockey team. I won't lie, I fantasized about them last night.