I'm Off Disney World, Huge

I'm beginning to hate Orlando. And I've never even been there. The city has not been kind to my Toronto Raptors or Toronto Blue Jays in recent days. I thought Disney World was where dreams come true?

I don't know about you, but I'm still having nightmares from the first quarter of game one between the Raptors and Orlando Magic. You know, when Orlando scored 43 points on 80 percent - 80 freaking percent - shooting from the floor, including nine of 11 from deep. I'm still waking up in a cold sweat after seeing Maurice Evans, Rashard Lewis and Jameer Nelson drain three-ball after three-ball after three-ball in my sleep. What a frightening 12 minutes of basketball.

You could take that first quarter and label it "How Not To Play Defense". Make it an instructional video, or something.

Toronto, unbelievably, got off to another porous start on Tuesday night, allowing 35 first quarter points. It's an improvement on 43, but unacceptable nonetheless. While many are quick to blame Sam Mitchell for the team's apparent lack of preparation, I can't do that. He's not on the floor.

Thankfully, the Raps did wake up in the second quarter and dropped 39 on the Magic. It was a see-saw battle the rest of the way but, most unfortunately, the dream of splitting the first two games on the road in Disney World ended when Chris Bosh's jump shot with 1.9 seconds left on the clock hit rim. 104-103 final, Orlando.

I'll give the dinosaurs some credit. They did make a game of it. But this is the playoffs, and moral victories count for nothing in the second season.

What did you think of the final play? Would you have drawn it up the same? It was another Jose Calderon/CB4 special and, just like last year in game six of the playoffs against the Nets with the season on the line, it didn't work. No disrespect towards Bosh. Dude was unconscious on Tuesday. But he's the obvious play. Why not look for Jason Kapono, who was dynamite off the bench in each of the first two games? If the Raptors were going to give it to Bosh, and they did, I'd much rather him drive and try to draw a foul instead of settle for the jump shot. Alas, you live and learn.

Speaking of learning, SMitch has made it clear that there will be changes in the starting lineup tonight for game three. And by changes I'm sure he means Calderon will start at point guard and T.J. Ford will come off the bench. At least that's what I'm assuming. I am, of course, usually wrong, but in my humble opinion Calderon can no longer be allowed to play Mr. Nice Guy. He's the better point guard, he's playing better than Ford right now, and the Raps are a better team when he's on the floor running the offense. So he should start, n'est-ce pas?

Here's the line on Ford after two games: he's two (2!) of 17 from the floor for a whopping 11.8 field goal percentage, seven of seven from the stripe, and he's totalled seven rebounds, 12 assists and 4 turnovers. I'm not saying that Ford is the reason we're down two-nothing in this series, because Jose was just as bad in game one, but Ford and Moon were abysmal in game two. Ford was one for eight from the floor on Tuesday and his turnovers in the first quarter (three of them, I think) and his lazy coverage of Jameer Nelson really hurt the Raptors. Until he finds his game and his confidence, Jose's got to carry the load.

As for Moon, well, he should just be banned from shooting the jump shot. He was one for seven Tuesday night and Orlando has simply stopped guarding him. They're letting him have the long jumper because, well, they know he can't make it. And they're right. Jamario simply has to be more aggressive and take the ball to the rim. He's too athletic and has too much hops to be chucking. I know it's important for him to have confidence in his jumper, but we need him to be rebounding and drawing fouls, not chilling on the perimeter and tossing up bricks.

I'm not going to say much about the heartbreak kid Andrea Bargnani. I thought he was pretty brutal in game one and so-so in game two. One thing, though. He played a touch over 18 minutes on Tuesday night and picked up one rebound. One rebound.

Huge shoutouts to Kapono and Carlos Delfino. Kapono, the forgotten man, came back with a vengeance in Orlando, shooting 67% from the floor, and 67% from beyond the arc. The sweet-shooting JKap has playoff experience and boy did it ever show. The Raptors are going to need him to come up just as big if they want to get back in this damn thing. Same goes for Delfino. He played almost thirty minutes Tuesday night and picked up 16 points, six boards and three dimes. Most importantly, he was aggressive. He didn't settle for the jump shot (I'm looking at you, Jamario).

And, umm, that Dwight Howard guy, umm, yeah, he's good. Twenty-twenty two games in a row? Ridiculous. He's a freak. Superman is a most fitting nickname.

Oh yeah, if you're looking for anything and everything Raptors-related, check out my man Chris Black at T.Jose Caldeford. Dude's been featured on Michael Grange's blog, From Deep, at The Globe and Mail and he is, needless to say, on point.

The Raptors cannot under any, ANY, circumstances come out flat tonight in the first quarter at the The Hangar. The fans are going to be rocking the red, Washington Capitals style, and a big opening 12 minutes is vital if the Raptors want to get back in this series. Come on Raptors. Orlando took care of business on their home court, we must do the same.

As for the Blue Jays and their series with Tampa Bay at Disney World (literally), Toronto lost on Tuesday and again last night. Give the series victory to Tampa Bay. The Jays are clearly struggling. When they lose a series to Tampa Bay, that pretty much goes without saying.

If there's one team I can't handle the Jays losing to, it's the Rays. They are the definition of pathetic. And, well, last place. Since their birth in 1998 the Rays have finished last in the American League East every year except for 2004, when they finished fourth with 70 wins (yes, the Jays finished last that year with 67 wins...*shudder*).

Everyone knows what ails the Jays. They can't hit with runners in scoring position. They were zero for eight tonight and are eight for their last 69. Yikes. Until that changes, the losses will continue to pile up. It is still early but the Red Sox, those fucking Boston Red Sox, are already beginning to heat up. The Jays need not take a page out of the Raptors book and dig themselves a hole too deep to get out of.

I listened to last night's post-game show with Mike Wilner, and J.P. Ricciardi made his first appearance on the program. It was riveting stuff, as always. I love the fact that J.P. makes himself available and takes questions from the fans once a week.

J.P., like me, like you, and most Jays fans, is frustrated. He knows the team isn't hitting and, in a classy move, is holding himself accountable. He said the calls for John Gibbons' head aren't warranted because Gibbons isn't out there hacking at the plate. Ricciardi said if the Jays don't hit, it's his fault, because he put this team together. And he's right.

He also touched on the Frank Thomas situation. To me, the situation stinks because it seems like it's only about dollars. The Jays didn't want to pay Frank $10 million next year so they let him walk. Of course, it isn't as simple as that. Ricciardi touched on the fact that Thomas was not in the dugout and didn't come out to high-five his teammates on Saturday, the day he was benched. J.P. said Thomas' actions showed his state of mind and that the Jays, with a sulking Thomas, were a team of 24, rather than 25. It's a mighty good point. I wonder if T.J. Ford and Frank Thomas hang out?

Ricciardi also spoke about the big-headed one, Barry Bonds. While he said the Jays have thought about it, it isn't something that is likely to happen. And not because Ricciardi doesn't want it to happen. It sounded like he does. I hate Bonds, but I'm a hypocrite and would take him on my team right this very moment. Why? Because he'd make the Jays a better team, and that's all that matters to me. Ricciardi sees what all Jays fans do out there, that Bonds would help this team immensely. He's not stupid. He just can't make the move because Ted Rogers won't sign off on it. That's the bottom line. Don't blame J.P. Ricciardi for Bonds not becoming a Blue Jay. Blame Ted Rogers. He's not willing to make it happen. If he was, Bonds would be a Blue Jay tomorrow. Think about it, you know, every time you pay Ted Rogers that God damn system access fee.

Before I forget, there have been a number of baseball blog additions to the blogroll. I urge you to check them out: The Mockingbird, where Jon Hale satisfies all your pitch f/x needs; The Tao of Stieb, because more people need to know that Dave Stieb pitched a remarkable 103 career complete games; Miked Up, because Mike Wilner is a whole lot of awesome; Fire Joe Morgan, because they write some of the funniest stuff on the web; and Major League Bastian, because he actually gets paid to cover the Jays. And don't forget the always reliable, and thullied, Drunk Jays Fans, who have officially sold out and who will be taking over the world in the days to come. Oh yeah, and the grumpy dude, Jeff Blair.

You know, Tuesday night was pretty awful on a number of fronts, now that I think about it. Every team, and person, I was cheering for lost. My Raps dropped a heart breaker; The Capitals went down in game seven, in overtime no less, to those damn Philly Flyers; San Jose pummeled Calgary in their game seven (what the hell has happened to Miikka Kiprusoff? Pulled twice in the series? Oh my.); the Jays lost; and my main man Barack Obama lost the Pennsylvania primary. Brutal.

Ahh, I told myself I'd make this post short. I swore I would. Once again, I have failed. Miserably. If you've made it this far, cheers. Your dedication is nothing short of exemplary.

Anyway, I hate the Rays. And the Magic. Fuck Disney World.

Deep Thoughts

For my loyal readers - yes, all two of you - I'm pleased to report that The Poni Express has officially arrived. I got paid. $100 cool, crisp, easily-earned dollars. Well, I wouldn't say too easily. It came down to the wire. Thanks to my boy 40, for being a man of his word, and thanks to my main man Alexei Ponikarovsky for coming through with 21 goals. I believe in the Poni. He's gonna pot 30 this year.

Anyways, much has been going on in the sporting world recently - it's almost been overwhelming. It's time for SportsAndTheCity to weigh in with his two cents on the happenings in the sporting world.

I think Michael Vick is one of the dumbest men on the planet. The dog fighting scandal, which could potentially take away his freedom, will, if it hasn't already, become his legacy. Vick got himself into this situation, and is therefore an idiot. He deserves whatever the justice system throws at him, including jail time and a prolonged suspension from the NFL, if he is found guilty. I am by no means a fan of dogs, or pets for that matter, but even I wouldn't do what he supposedly did to the dogs mentioned his indictment. Idiot...

I think the Toronto Blue Jays season is officially over. The Jays won five in a row before embarking on a six-game road trip to the south side of Chicago and sunny Florida. Six games against the lowly White Sox and the ever-pathetic Devil Rays. This was prime time for the Jays to make their run. I'm talking Deion Sanders "Primetime" - you know, hopping into the end zone. But the Jays went two-and-four on the trip. Losing two of three to the White Sox I can understand, but dropping two of three to the Devil Rays is absolutely unacceptable, especially at this time of the season. The Jays scored eight runs in three games against Tampa Bay, whose pitchers own the worst E.R.A. in all of baseball. Pathetic. Bring out the salami and cheese Chuck Swirsky, this baseball season is over mama...

I think Josh Towers is the ultimate tool. This guy's got some nerve calling out his teammates and the coaching staff, which he did in Chicago last week. I don't care how competitive Towers is, a man that owns a 5-8 win-loss record and a horrific 5.17 E.R.A. has absolutely no right calling out anybody. Not even Royce freakin' Clayton. Take a look in the God damn mirror, Towers. I wish I could take a vaudevillian hook and just yank Towers off the Blue Jays' roster. If you don't know what a vaudevillian hook is, Google it...

I think, uh oh, the Boston Celtics are going to be mighty good this coming season. Celtic pride? Yeah, I'd say so. I'm not ready, however, to hand them the Atlantic Division title. Like Jerry told George when George wanted to be his Latex Salesman - "I don't think so." Not after my Toronto Raptors worked their asses off to claim the title last year. Regardless of Kevin Garnett, Ray Allen and Paul Pierce (say it with the Boston accent with me - Powl Pieeeeaace) in Beantown, this is still the Raptors' division to lose. Allen and Pierce are historically injury prone, so one of them is bound to go down. And I don't know what everyone else is thinking, but there's only one ball to go around for those three all-stars. That could pose a problem. The Raptors have the deepest bench in the Eastern Conference and that is their strength. The Celtics, meanwhile, have no bench. They traded everyone away to land The Big Ticket - Kevin Garnett. Great nickname, by the way. Anyhow, the Raps' bench will step up and deliver Toronto its second-straight division title. You heard it here first, my friends...

I think I hate Barry Bonds. Actually check that, I know I hate him. It hasn't set in that Bonds - the "big-headed one" as Pete McGentegart of Sports Illustrated's the 10 Spot calls him - is only one home run away from Hark Aarons hallowed 755. Bonds has been a jerk to the media and the fans his entire career, is a full-fledged cheater, was already destined to go to the Hall of Fame before he started juicing, and is just a miserable individual to be around. He doesn't appreciate that he is a man playing a boy's game. He's ungrateful, and that's the worst trait a professional athlete can possess, in my humble opinion. I know it's terrible, but here's hoping Barry Bonds meets with an unfortunate accident before he hits number 756...

I think I don't understand what the rest of Toronto sees in Matt Stajan. There was an article in The Star saying that if Mike Peca stays with the Leafs, then Matt Stajan goes. Now that headline made me put on my dancing shoes, like R. Kelly. Everyday I log onto The Star's website hoping to learn that Stajan has finally been traded. It seems, however, that I'm in the minority when it comes to this dream. A recent poll in the Toronto Star showed that 69% of Torontonians would choose Matt Stajan over Mike Peca. The results of the poll are mind-boggling to me. All I can ask is - like Jerry Seinfeld asked the girl whom he was seeing when he found out she had gone out with Newman, with an exasperated look on his face - "why!?" And I don't want to hear "because he's younger." Stajan's age - he'll be 24 this December, while Peca is 33 - doesn't make him skate any faster, give him a harder slapshot, or make him a better hockey player. Someone please tell me what Stajan has to offer to next season's Leafs squad? Peca is a better all-around player who I have no doubt can score as many goals as Stajan did last year - 10. Peca is also a better face-off man, a better defensive player, a grittier player, and a better penalty killer. Forget about their respective ages, and there's no way anyone can tell me that Matt Stajan offers more to the Leafs than Mike Peca. 2079 people would rather have Stajan, compared to only 929 who want Peca, in The Star poll. Basically, 69% of Leafs fans are out of their minds. I hate Stajan...

I think it would be an absolute travesty if David Beckham doesn't play in this weekends match in Toronto, with the L.A. Galaxy in town to visit Toronto FC. Scalpers are selling tickets to the game for billions, and it just wouldn't be right for people to shell out so much coin and not see Beckham spend a minute on the pitch. I understand that he's injured, but without playing a single regular season game he is already the face of the league, and has a responsibility to his team, the league and it's fans. Eight out of the sixteen sellouts in Major League Soccer this year are courtesy of Toronto FC fans. I had a chance to visit BMO Field for Toronto's friendly with English club Aston Villa, and I must say the atmosphere is great. The sight lines in the stadium are all good, and it's clear to me why soccer is already a hit in this city. The MLS All-Star game is coming to Toronto next year, and rightfully so. Come one Beckham, make like a hockey player, suck it up, and get your ass in the lineup...

I think I love fantasy sports. We held our draft tonight for the keeper hockey league I'm in, and it was a blast. My brother is the commissioner of the fantasy league we all devote so much time to, and he's done a fabulous job, I must say. A lot of work goes into a keeper league, but it's great fun, and an even better time-waster. I finished second last year, and traded away most my draft picks for this coming season in the process. I gave up the farm, as they say. My newly drafted team stinks, but the rebuilding process won't be long, I hope. I'm blessed to have the wonder-boy Sidney Crosby, so hopefully my stay at the bottom of the league won't last long. It's unbelievable that fantasy sports are a $1 billion dollar industry today. Although it certainly isn't surprising. It's the closest I'll ever get to managing my own hockey team...

I think the Boston Red Sox are the team to beat in the American League. Their bullpen is off the heezy, with Hideki Okajima, the newly acquired Canadian Eric Gagne, and Jonathan Papelbon. Their staff E.R.A. is the best in the game, and now innings seven, eight and nine will be lights out 95% of the time. A great trade to land Gagne, I must say. The Red Sox and Yankees know no limits. Boston is the team to beat. I'm jealous. Sigh... I think it's extremely interesting that no one Jose Canseco accused of taking steriods/performance-enhancing drugs in his book last year has even tried to sue him. Cough! - I'm lookin at you Barry Bonds - Cough! Usually, when someone says an author or person has lied, they sue him or her for libel. Yet Canseco has no subpoena's to deal with, and is getting ready to publish his second book. I think that's bait... I think I'm tired, and it's time for bed...

Goodnight, Toronto.