Who's on your blue line?

Brian Burke is spoiling us. Seriously.

After using the force to lure Mike Komisarek from the dark side, and acquiring cruncher Garnet Exelby, I figured the Francois Beauchemin ship had sailed past these parts.

Wrong. Wonderfully wrong.

Beauchemin has arrived. An already truculent defense core is now even more so. After valiantly enduring the John Ferguson Jr. era, Leafs fans are finally getting what they deserve from management: competence.

With 47 NHL-calibre defenseman now in tow, the rumour mill is a churning. Listen up: Tomas Kaberle isn't leaving town. Stop talking about him being traded, stop writing about him being traded, and stop tweeting about him being traded. It isn't happening. If it was, a deal would have been made by now. And don't bother bringing up Phil Kessel. That trade was based upon draft picks not yet selected; that dream, while certainly not mine, is dead.

Who, then, are the odd men out, you ask? Simple: Mike Van Ryn, and Jeff Finger.

Van Ryn, the ghost of Carlo Colaiacovo, obviously has a much easier contract to move; he'll be an unrestricted free agent next summer. Why keep him over Kaberle, who has two years left on his deal? Clearly the market for Tomas isn't what Burke thinks it should be, or he'd have dealt him by now. At this point, with the defense Burke's put together, I don't believe a top-six forward is a priority. Remember, it's not about scoring goals; it's about lowering the 293 goals the Leafs allowed last season. And I have no doubt that number is going to plummet.

Here's my six man rotation on defense, assuming the brittle Van Ryn will be traded:

Tomas Kaberle & Mike Komisarek

Luke Schenn & Francois Beauchemin

Garnet Exelby & Ian White

Finger and his $3.5 million dollar contract, along with Jonas Frogren and Anton Stralman, are the spare parts.

With four defensive defenseman making up the six, Kaberle would come in handy, especially on the power play. He could conceivably quarterback both units, for the entire two minutes.

There's also been some chatter as to having White play the wing, and Finger take a regular shift on defense. While I know it's ridiculous to sit a guy making $3.5 million, I think White's got a bright future on the Leafs, but only as a defenseman. He earned the trust of Wilson and co. last season with his solid play, and the admiration of us fans with his moustache.

According to Behind The Net, while playing five-on-five, White trailed only Luke Schenn in ice time per game (17:26 to 17:37). His 0.92 five-on-five Behind The Net rating was tops on the team by a healthy margin among regulars. And of all the regulars who played "defense" last season for Toronto, White's 2.74 GAON/60 (Goals Against On Ice, per 60 minutes) five-on-five rating was the lowest.

And this is the guy we should remove off the blue line? Fuhgeddaboudit!1

White's also young, and cheap. He takes priority over the Fingers, Van Ryns, Frogrens and Stralmans of the world.

Remember, last season, San Jose took Kyle McLaren and his $2.5 million cap hit and stuck him in the minors until they were able to trade him to Philadelphia. This is the reality of the new salary capped NHL. A reality Finger might have to accept.

A while back, I asked the ever-prescient Down Goes Brown for his thoughts on Jeff Finger, and, as usual, he hit the nail on the head:

"It's not that Finger is awful (he's not) or that he's overpaid (he is.) He's just not what the Leafs need. The focus in Toronto should be on finding young players and putting them in position to succeed. Signing a veteran minor-leaguer to a rich long-term contract to anchor the third defensive pairing isn't on that list.

"Finger isn't the disaster he's made out to be by some. He's just a bad fit - one that the Leafs will likely be stuck with for three more years."

I'm with DGB; just because we're stuck with Finger doesn't mean he should take precedence over Ian White, who was a more productive, versatile and useful defenseman for the Maple Leafs in 2008/2009.

Back to Beauchemin (this post is all over the fucking place); he's got people excited. Even Pension Plan Puppets' Chemmy, an advocate of "tank nation," is daring to dream:

"I'm going to say it just once, and probably deny it if you bring it up: PLAYOFFS!!!1"

Yes indeed, Jammies.

And Jonas Gustavsson is on the way officially a Maple Leaf.

It just keeps getting better.

The Raycrap Report Vol. 9: It's happening...

You know, I went a whole month without writing one of these. It was good. A much needed respite from the goaltending disease known as Andrew Joseph Ernest Raycroft.

But my man in Colorado has been playing some games. Poorly, of course. And I think we all knew it was only a matter of time before that happened.

Anyway, I've decided that I'm not going to be so hard on Raycroft anymore. He's a terrible goalie. I think we all get it. Life goes on.

The only thing that matters from here on out is that, so as to keep the laws of the universe in proper working order, Vesa Toskala finishes the season with a higher save percentage than Raycroft. That's it.

And as you might have noticed, there now exists a sidebar on your right called "The Interns of the Iced Igloos," in honour of the one and only Joe Bowen. That's where I'm keeping score.

Thanks to a meagre .877 save percentage in his last four games (three losses and a no-decision), Raycroft's down to .894 on the season. Toskala, after his stellar February, is only half a percentage point behind him.

Well done, Vesa. You're almost there, my Finnish friend.

It's happening. The universe is righting itself. And it's a beautiful thing.

Deadline Day

It's tomorrow. And it's kind of a big deal.

Are you giddy with excitement? Or are you, like me, praying that come 3:00 PM eastern time on Wednesday, Tomas Kaberle is still a Toronto Maple Leaf? 

Look, you don't trade a guy with that much talent, at that price tag ($4.25 million), when you know the salary cap will be coming down. Period.

Plus, we need him for our PLAYOFFS! run.

Anyway, if you're hanging out on the internetz tomorrow, my man Down Goes Brown will be live-blogging the festivities, beginning first thing in the morning. Join him. And if he makes any rental player jokes about Mats Sundin, give him hell.

He's Back...

Yes, I have returned from the Motherland. She was a most gracious host, as always. But I'm talking about Mats Sundin, who donned a new sweater yesterday in Vancouver.

You know, I always thought I'd be an emotional wreck the day I saw Sundin in another jersey. But that wasn't the case last night. Instead, I'm excited for him, and for the Vancouver Canucks. 

Plus, in the picture above, he's wearing his patented Sundin smile; the smile that melted my heart for so many years, and continues to do so today. If he's happy, I'm happy.

Now, I'm going to go out on a limb here and bet you a high-quality meal at Mendy's that Down Goes Brown will be bitching about something Sundin said during his interview yesterday with the Vancouver media. Double or nothing it will be about #13's hunger to play and compete.

That's all well and good. We've heard and read all the bullshit before. Say what you want about him, but there's no denying that Mats has always looked mighty fine in blue and white.

Here's hoping that the final chapter of Sundin's hockey career includes a happy ending.

Farewell Mats

The New Delhi streets were abuzz this morning over the news. Mats Sundin is officially a Vancouver Canuck, and every man, woman, child, beggar and corrupt police officer was talking about it.

The Sundin saga is finally, mercifully over. I, for one, couldn't be happier with the outcome. I wanted Mats to go west, and he's done just that.

As fans of the Toronto Maple Leafs, and sports in general, we're all entitled to our own opinions. None of them are wrong. Well, except for this bullshit. I'm not even sure why I'm linking to it, but it should give you a good idea of the hatred and garbage being thrown Sundin's way.

I was expecting some serious Sundin bashing from Down Goes Brown, but he kept it real, and kept it classy, unlike the garbage linked to above, in his message to Mats. Make sure you give it a read. I think most Leafs fans share his sentiments today.

I will admit, though, that the tombstone over at PPP stung. Big time.

I think the double standard that exists when it comes to Sundin and his (in)decision was a funny one. It was alright for Sundin to be traded to Montreal, or New York, or wherever, but it was wrong for him to leave town on his own volition. The haters only wanted what was best for them.

I think DGB hit the nail on the head with the way it all went down. It was unfortunate, and Mats screwed up. He didn't need to give us a reason why he refused to be traded, and the last thing he should have said was that it was because he loved Toronto, and loved being a Maple Leaf. He had a no-trade clause, and he was using it. That would have been suffice.

I could go on and on about Sundin and how I think the fans that are roasting him today are a fickle and selfish bunch, but I've done that before, and I'm not going to down that road again. In my eyes, Mats, after giving us so much, finally looked out for himself. And I can't be mad at him for that. In time, I believe all will be forgiven.

In my dreams, Sundin has the won the Stanley Cup in a Leafs jersey thousands of times. I've always wanted to see him hoist that most beautiful trophy over his head, and that hasn't changed now that he's wearing a different blue and white sweater. Go Canucks, plain and simple.

In my ultimate fantasy, the Canucks do win the Stanley Cup this season, and Sundin wins the Conn Smythe trophy. Then, in the off-season, Mats signs a one-year deal with the Toronto Maple Leafs, and comes home to retire.

I'm still just as in love with Sundin as I was when we first met back in 1994. In these eyes, he will always be a Maple Leaf, and always represent Toronto. He gave us the best years of his hockey life and even though his Leafs career is over, and came to an end in a most unfortunate way, those years still mean and stand for something, damn it.

Talk badly about him if you must. Curse him. Call him a liar. Hate him. Throw shit at him. But there will never be any denying what he did in the uniform which we all adore. Like I said, in time, all will be forgiven.

I don't know about you, but I know where I'll be on February 21st. At the Air Canada Centre, in my Sundin jersey, on my feet in applause.

Good luck, Mats, and thank you. For everything.

We Finally Got A...

It's true. It's official. We've "sold out." Advertisements are now a part of your Sports And The City experience.

Let me tell you, it wasn't about the best offer on the table. It was about the only offer on the table.

In all seriousness, I'm proud to announce that Sports And The City is the newest member of the Sports Federation, TheScore.com's new network of sports bloggers.

It's an honour. 

I mean, the first thing I did when I received the email from TheScore was run upstairs from the basement and tell my mom the good news. She was ecstatic.

You'll notice a new header at the top of the page, along with a drop down menu to the other sites in the Federation. Some of them we know very well - Ghostrunner on First, RaptorBlog, Down Goes Brown, and Drunk Jays Fans - and others you should get to know, much like I am. 

TheScore.com's venture is yet another example of the quality writing that exists out here on Al Gore's internet, and I'm excited to be a part of it. 

So, a big thank you goes out to TheScore for giving me the opportunity to spread my devout homerism. The more eyes over here, the better. And a big thank you also goes out to you, the reader, and to you, the commenter. Without you, I'd have probably packed up and left town a few months ago. You are appreciated, more than you'll ever know.

Remember, the content isn't going to change around here now that I've joined the Federation. So don't mind the ads. Just click on 'em.

Wendel Clark: The Anti Roy

Wendel Clark was honoured by the Toronto Maple Leafs on Saturday night, not because he won multiple Stanley Cups, or had a Hall of Fame type career. Nope, Wendel was honoured because of the way he played the game.

If there was ever a guy who played hockey "the right way," it was Clark. It's probably the ultimate sports cliche, but Wendel left everything out on the ice, every single time he stepped on it.

No matter how bad some of those Toronto Maple Leafs teams were back in the day - and some of them were really, really bad - Clark played every game as if it were game seven of the Stanley Cup finals; as if it were his last. 

Patrick Roy was also honoured on Saturday night. By Montreal, and rightfully so. He had one hell of a career. Arguably the greatest goalie to ever play the game. Quite the resume: four Stanley Cups, three Conn Smythe trophies, and three Vezina trophies. 

But you know how I'll remember him? As a douchebag, for pulling that shit in Montreal back on December 2nd, 1995. You remember, don't you? That fateful night, when he was absolutely pounded by the Detroit Red Wings; when his career with the Habs came to a crashing halt.

Patrick Roy. What a drama queen. What a diva. What a quitter. Roy actually had the nerve, right after he was yanked from the game and still on the bench, to walk up to the team president of les Canadiens and say that he'd never again play for le bleu, blanc et rouge. It still amazes me. And all because his personal pride took a little bit of a spanking.

Poor guy, that Roy. Somebody pass me the Kleenex.

You know what else I'll remember about St. Patrick? His decision to not play for Team Canada at the 2002 Olympics. You know, because he wasn't handed the starting goaltending job, on a silver fucking platter, from the get go.

Classy guy, that Roy.

Patrick and Wendel. Two men, with two very different narratives, honoured by two storied hockey clubs. 

Roy had to be reaccepted by the Canadiens family for it to go down. Fucking drama queen. Clark loved being a Toronto Maple Leaf so much he came back home. Twice. He is a Maple Leaf. To the core of his being. It's what defines him.

That's the difference between the two men. Roy played for himself. Wendel Clark never, not once, thought of himself as bigger than the Toronto Maple Leafs, or his teammates, or the game. He was a warrior on the ice, but he played with humility, and it was on full display once again during Saturday night's ceremony. No matter what Rosie DiManno says, Clark deserved his moment at centre ice.

You know how I'll remember Wendel Clark? As the ultimate team player. I'll remember Wendel's wrist shots, and his thundering body checks. I'll remember him as the farm boy from Saskatchewan who captured the big city's collective heart. Most of all, though, I'll remember Clark as the guy who played for the logo on his jersey, the Maple Leaf, instead of the name on his back.

Thanks for the memories, Wendel. Number 17 looks great up in the rafters, where it belongs, for all eternity...

I'm assuming by now that you've checked out the full list, the Top 17 Wendel Clark Moments, over at Down Goes Brown. If you haven't, what the fuck are you waiting for? It's a wonderful trip down memory lane. And take some Kleenex, because something is going to, uh, get caught in your eye.

Oh, and props out to Down Goes Brown for joining TheScore.com's new Sports Federation. I may not agree with the man on many fronts, but that doesn't mean I don't know his blog is one of the best out there. And we all gotta pay the bills. Good on you, DGB.

Deep Thoughts Vol. 11: "Playoffs!" Edition

Are you impressed by the Toronto Maple Leafs yet? You should be. Especially after last night: a come-from-behind 4-2 victory against the Boston Bruins, in their barn. That's what the kids call a "character win."

You can colour me impressed. Yep, with the same crayons I'm using for the parade route. This team just doesn't quit, and you have to admire that.

For those of you keeping score at home, that's two games in a row where the Leafs have rallied from a two-nil deficit. On Tuesday night they took it to the Mighty Ducks, outshooting them 38-21. Last night they were all over the Bruins, outshooting them 37-28.

The finish may not be there, and the special teams may not be that good, but these guys compete. They're a spunky bunch and, as fans, that's all we can really ask for. A team that goes out every night and skates and plays hard. I've got to give Ron Wilson props for that.

How about Nik Antropov? He scored again last night, thanks to a beautiful feed from my man crush Alex Ponikarovsky, and now has four goals and two assists on the season. I don't think he misses Mats Sundin all that much. Me? I do. A lot.

Technically, with a 2-2-3 record, the Leafs are sitting at the .500 mark. Two regulation time losses in seven games. That's pretty good. Two wins? That's pretty bad. But, still, .500. Playoffs! Crazier things have happened. What, you don't think so? The Tampa Bay Devil Rays are in the World Series. The Tampa Bay mother fucking Devil Rays are in the World Series.

Ron Wilson

Wilson is serious about success when it comes to changing the culture that exists here in Toronto. Benching Matt Stajan? I'm all for it. Banishing Poni to the fourth line for a game? It seems to have sent a message. Sending Jason Blake to the press box? While I didn't necessarily agree with it, I'm hoping Blake turns it into a positive. As much as I love Blake - and I mainly love him because everyone else hates him - the Leafs did win without him. So, take that for what it's worth.

As for pulling Toskala in the shootout and replacing him with Cujo, no, after much consideration, I can't agree with that move. Please Ronny, don't do it again. Clearly, it doesn't work. 

As a goalie, I can't help but feel pissed off about the decision to replace Vesa. For 65 minutes, the Leafs lived and died by Toskala. Regardless of how Toskala has fared in the shootout in the past and, yes, I know he is the worst goalie in NHL shootout history, it was Vesa's game to win or lose. Period. We goalies are a fragile bunch, even the strongest of us, and you don't mess with a our confidence. Ever. I don't ever want to see that move made again, especially after the bitch slap the Ducks laid on Cujo.

Overall, though, crazy props to Coach Wilson. He's a rudey.

The Toronto St. Pats?

Another team in Toronto? It ain't happening. I mean, does this city really deserve another hockey team? I don't think so. We're good with one shitty one, we don't need another. How about we put a team back in Winnipeg first. Bring back the Jets.

More Tlusty

I want to see more of Jiri Tlusty. No, not like that, man. More of him on the ice. Jesus. Lusty Tlusty has seen only 11-to-14 minutes of ice time per game so far, and played a season low 7:31 yesterday. I'd like to see the kid out there a bit more, and even on the second power play unit. I mean, I'd rather see him out there than Stajan.

Leaf fans have got to be patient with Tlusty - I think I've convinced General Borschevsky - as he's in only his second season in the NHL, and first full season. But, if Wilson plans to waste Tlusty on the fourth line with Jamal Mayers and jackass Ryan Hollweg, perhaps Tlusty's development would be better served with the Toronto Marlies, where he can play 20 minutes a night in all situations.

Guess Who's Back?

Everyone's favourite former Captain, Mats Sundin. No matter what people try to tell you, it's news. It's definitely news. We're talking about the biggest free agent on the market. Sundin's going to begin working out as he prepares for a return to the greatest game on earth. Remember kids, no matter what PPP and Sean @ Down Goes Brown try to tell you, Sundin's done nothing wrong. Nothing.

I'm waiting, Mats. With open arms...

The Sundin Haters Keep Hating

The cause celebre of the media and bloggers these days is to question the leadership of former Toronto Maple Leafs captain Mats Sundin. Funny, I thought we had buried this topic years ago.

I guess not. New Leafs head coach Ron Wilson didn't mention Sundin by name, but it was clear he had Mats in mind, among others, when he said the Leafs have lacked leadership the last three years.

Bloggers like Down Goes Brown (quel surprise!) and TorontoSportsMedia's Weblog have picked up on the issue of Sundin's apparent lack of leadership. 

Of course, Sundin's tenure in Toronto is now only defined by the last three shitty years, and everything else has been thrown out the window. That's how it works here in Toronto. When things were going well and the team was making the playoffs, Sundin's leadership was never in question. He proved his worth and he always had the unequivocal support of his teammates.

But, post-lockout, the Leafs have been a mess. And it's Mats' fault. Because he ain't no leader.

Oh, so that's why the Leafs have missed the playoffs the last three years. It was Mats. He was just enjoying himself and letting the dressing room become a "country club." It had nothing to do with the fact that the Leafs, post-lockout, have been one of the worst defensive teams in the league, at or near the bottom in goals against average, save percentage, and penalty killing. Gotcha.

Let's take a look at some sobering statistics from the last three years, starting with last season and moving backwards, with the teams NHL ranking in parenthesis. All stats are courtesy of ESPN, the worldwide leader in mother fuckin' sports.

2007/2008

GAA: 3.12 (27th)

Save %age:  89.3 (29th)

PK %age: 78.2 (29th)

2006/2007

GAA: 3.20 (25th)

Save %age: 88.8 (27th)

PK %age: 78.5 (27th)

2005/2006

GAA: 3.21 (20th)

Save %age: 89.5 (18th)

PK %age: 80% (23rd)

Those numbers should keep you up at night. I'm a huge Vesa Toskala fan, but it's pretty fucked up to see a higher save percentage in 05/06 when Ed Belfour, Mikael Tellqvist and J.S. Aubin split the goaltending duties. In retrospect, Raycrap's 87.6 save percentage is largely to blame. Seriously, Colorado, good luck with that shit.

I'll be the first to admit that Toskala's 90.4 save percentage last season was good, but by no means great. He's got to be better. But so does the team in front of him. On way too many nights, he had no help, and was left out to dry. But that was Sundin's fault, of course. 

Looking at those numbers from the last three years, it's clear that the Leafs' struggles began and ended in the dressing room, and because Sundin wore the "C" on his shoulder, the onus falls on him. The team's struggles had nothing to do with the fact that the Leafs, under Paul Maurice, couldn't keep the puck out of their net, had no idea how to kill a God damn penalty, and received AHL-calibre goaltending from their starting goalies in 05/06 and 06/07, and beer league calibre goaltending from their backup in 07/08.

It wasn't enough that Mats was producing at better than a point-per-game rate post lockout - 78 points in 70 games in 05/06, 76 points in 75 games in 06/07, and 78 points in 74 games last season. I guess he should have been out there killing every penalty, and should have been on the ice for the entire third period, when the Leafs loved to blow their leads. You know that +17 rating he sported last year? Yeah, that one. Fuck it. Just toss it out the window. Or ignore it. You pick.

I guess, in retrospect, at some point over the last three years the coaching staff should have just handed Mats the pads and put him between the pipes. Maybe that would have been enough for people in this city to finally put the bloody leadership questions to rest.

The statistics above tell you all you need to know about your Toronto Maple Leafs. Fuck leadership. Fuck questioning Mats Sundin. Enough already. Until this team learns how to play some defence, learns how to kill penalties, or stops taking them altogether, and begins to support their goaltender, they will not make the playoffs. When the team is able to play with confidence in its own end, and is not afraid to take a penalty in a hockey game, leadership, regardless of who is wearing the "C," - even if it is, aghast, a Swedish fellow - will take care of its God damn self.

Don't Look Back, Mats...

Mats Sundin has not signed with the Vancouver Canucks. At least not yet. But I get the feeling that he is closer and closer to finally making a decision on his future.

I'm scared, I admit it. I convinced myself that Sundin, having not jumped at any of the lucrative offers that came his way when free agency opened on July 1st, was going to return to Toronto and retire as a Toronto Maple Leaf, something he's always publicly stated he wants to do.

Now I'm not so sure anymore. I won't be surprised if Sundin does indeed agree to head out west to finish his illustrious career.

Even after yesterday's false report, Sundin's agent continues to spew the same crap he's been giving us for months now, that Mats doesn't even know if he's going to play at all next season. I think that's some bullshit.

The Star's Garth Woolsely is reporting that, "according to reports," Sundin is working out, so it does indeed look like he'll be suiting up next season. The million dollar question, or $10 million dollar question, remains where.

I'm a big fan of British Columbia. Vancouver's a great city, and one I can see myself living in one day. I don't know, something about the mountains. Oh, and I hear the dope is great.

On a serious note, I would completely understand if Sundin chooses that route. If it comes down to a choice between Toronto and Vancouver, the Canucks roster looks a whole lot more inviting. Sundin could join some pretty gifted offensive players in Daniel and Henrik Sedin, and Pavol Demitra, along with some solid young players like Taylor Pyatt, Ryan Kesler, Mason Raymond, and Alexander Burrows.

I know, both the Leafs and the Canucks missed the playoffs last year, but the Canucks got a weak season out of their former captain Markus Naslund, and saw Kevin Bieksa, Lukas Krajicek and Brendan Morrison miss a ton of time due to injuries.

Think about it: Sundin on a team with underachieving players and a ton of injuries. He would fit in perfectly in Vancouver.

Oh, and they have that Roberto Luongo guy in goal. He's good. Any team with Luongo in the pipes has a chance to win the Stanley Cup (uhm, except the Florida Panthers).

I've come to the point where I'm ready for the Sundin soap opera to end. Everyone who reads (I won't say it, Greener, and where the fuck are you man?) this weblog knows how I feel about Mats. I've always been in his corner and always will be in his corner. But it's time for him to make his decision. James Mirtle put it best: "It's been 114 days since (Sundin) stepped foot on an NHL ice surface, and we still don't have a clue what he'll do." That's a mighty long time to decide.

Before I forget, check out this piece - Mats Sundin vs. Brett Favre: One is worse - over at Down Goes Brown. Sean nails it, as usual.

If Sundin does become a Canuck, I wish him nothing but the best, and harbour no ill will. You all know this. You also know that I'll be the first one at the mall, cash in hand, ready to buy my new Mats Sundin Vancouver Canucks jersey (yes, that does feel disgusting even writing it).

But all I ask, Mats, is that you don't look back. Because, man, I don't think I can deal with that. I am emotionally taxed. If you're going to leave, just go already, Mats. Just go...

Jealousy Is There

The Detroit Red Wings have done it again. They are Stanley Cup champions for the fourth time in 11 years. That, my friends, is a hockey franchise with its head on straight. Oh, to be a fan of the Red Wings.

I'll admit that I was cheering for Detroit. I'm not a big Pittsburgh Penguins fan. I don't particularly like that Sidney Crosby fellow, especially his whining and diving ways. I feel like he carries an attitude of entitlement while he's on the ice, that he deserves all the calls from the stripes, and the respect of all those around him. Sorry Sidney, but you've got to earn it.

Don't get me wrong, Crosby's a great ambassador for the game, and I'm sure he'll win a number of Cup's in what will be a glorious career, but not yet. It wasn't his time.

And before I forget, Crosby's "playoff beard," if I can even call it that, is certainly to go down as the most pathetic in NHL history.

I'm also not a big fan of Pittsburgh's Maxime Talbot. He's kind of a douche. And while I know it's blasphemous for me to say so, I've realized that I can only appreciate Gary Roberts' douchebaggery when he's playing for my team. When Gary isn't in the blue and white his constant gloves to the face and cross checks to the lower back of his opponents just seem a bit, well, dirty. Yeah, I said it.

Anyway, congratulations to the Detroit Red Wings and all their spoiled fans. Four Stanley Cup's in 11 years? Ridiculous. The Wings are always classy in victory and are a model franchise for every team in the NHL, especially the Maple Leafs. I honestly can't remember the last time the Red Wings were not a competitive team. Year after year, they're at or near the top of the standings, yet they never waver from their mantra, which is to build through the draft. I hope the Leafs have been taking notes. Pages upon pages upon pages of notes.

Niklas Lidstrom deserves some serious props as well. He became the first European-born captain to lead his team to the Stanley Cup. While Lidstrom is rightly recognized for his talent year in and year out, I don't think people take the time to understand just how incredible his career has been. It's not a stretch to say that Lidstrom is arguably one of the greatest defenceman of all-time.

The champion Red Wings were a pretty Euro-heavy squad. The majority of their top talent - Conn Smythe winner Hank Zetterberg, Pavel Datsyuk, Johan Franzen, Nik Lidstrom, Niklas Kronwall, Mikael Samuelsson and Tomas Holmstrom - were all, save for the Russian Datsyuk, Swedish. I hope their victory dispels the absurd notion that every team needs a core of solid Canadian hockey players, and a Canadian captain, to bring home the Stanley Cup. It's a global game and the Red Wings proved it.

As for the Stanley Cup herself, isn't she just the most beautiful trophy you've ever seen? I could stare at her forever. After the Red Wings were crowned champions and started to pass around the silver chalice, I got a couple of text messages from a couple of buddies, who happen to be brothers, who live down in the good ol' U.S. of A.

From Karan in NYC:
"Is it gay if a man cries when the Cup is hoisted?"

My reply:
"I'm going to have to say no."

Karan's reply:
"Just something about the Cup...it's like the first time I saw boobs."

That's gold right there. I don't think I could have said it any better myself.

And here's one from Kunal in Minnesota:
"I just want to win one. Why do they get 4 in 10 years and we can't win one? I'm going to cry."

Ah, the Stanley Cup. She elicits tears of joy, and tears of immense anguish. Keep your head up though, Kunal. Sean over Down Goes Brown (subscribe to it, trust me, it's that good) has some information that might make you feel a bit better:

"But before (Detroit's) win in 1997, they went 42 years without a Cup. That was 42 years of misery, including a very long stretch where the team was a complete non-factor. Then they got their act together, and the rest is history."

You know what that means, right? 2009 will mark the 42nd anniversary since the Leafs last hoisted the Stanley Cup. We're next.

Shattered Dream

Brian Burke will not be riding into town on a white horse, the man ready, willing, and able to fix the Toronto Maple Leafs. He's staying in Anaheim. Pardon my language, but, well, fuck.

Burke, and his 2007 Stanley Cup championship ring, still has one year left on his contract as general manager of the Anaheim Ducks. He's going to serve it.

I so thought Burke was coming to Toronto. I've been telling people for about two weeks now that it was only a formality, that once the Ducks were eliminated from the playoffs the wheels would be set in motion. Well, no more motion. Hell, the motion never even began. The dream is dead.

Sean over at Down Goes Brown called it a couple of weeks ago. For those of you that aren't familiar with his blog, he's a Leafs fan living in Ottawa - yes, you should feel sorry for him - and let's just say he's a, uh, glass half-empty type of guy. Check out his blog, it's good stuff. He's our source for what's happening in that God-forsaken city.

Anyway, here's what Sean had to say: "I'm a Leafs fan and a Leafs fan only until the day I die (which will be this summer, by the way, of self-inflicted head wounds when we don't get Brian Burke)."

Wow. Didn't even get to summertime. Stay away from sharp objects, Sean.

Here's what makes the events of yesterday so depressing: even Sean was beginning to believe the hype about Burke, and he's about as optimistic about the Leafs as I am about peace in the Middle East. It ain't happening. Not in my lifetime, at least. If Sean at Down Goes Brown thought Burke might be on his way to town you know that I, the ultimate homer, believed in my heart of hearts, without a shadow of a doubt, that Brian Burke was going to be the next general manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Wrong. Again. I am an idiot. I am Vaswani, lord of the idiots.

What next? Whom shall I anoint as the next general manager of the Leafs, only to likely be proved wrong once again? Jim Rutherford? Neil Smith? Colin Campbell? Ken Holland? Scotty Bowman (cue: salivation)? Bryan Colangelo?

You know what? I say we keep Cliff Fletcher. Why the hell not? I liked what he did when he stepped in for John Ferguson Jr. He made some decent trades at the deadline. Remember, he did manage to get a draft pick for Wade Belak. Now I loved Belak as much as the next Leafs fan, but it's Wade Belak. And he's set to become an unrestricted free agent. It's a pretty damn impressive trade. Perhaps Clifford can pull another rabbit out of his hat and trade Andrew Raycroft.

Hold on, give me a second. Sorry about that, but even I found that one funny. Trade Raycroft! Imagine Fletcher actually trying to make that trade?

Cliff Fletcher: "Hey Darryl Sutter, Fletch here from Toronto. How are ya? Sorry about that game seven loss. Kipper really let you down. Speaking of goaltending, CuJo's a free agent so, uh, any, umm, any interest in Andrew Raycroft?"

Darryl Sutter: "Is this some kind of sick joke? Fuck off, Fletcher." *CLICK*

Cliff Fletcher: "Hey, George McPhee, Cliff Fletcher here. That was a great series, young man. A bright, bright future you got there in D.C. Looks like you're in the market for a back-up, any interest in, umm, Raycroft?"

George McPhee: "I need a back-up, Cliff, not a sack of shit."

Cliff Fletcher: "Oh, yeah, well, you're right. Thanks anyways." *CLICK*

Cliff Fletcher: "Hey, Garth Snow! Fletch from Toronto. Getting used to being a GM yet? No? Great. Listen, Dubie's a free agent, any interest in Andrew Ray..."

Garth Snow: "AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHA"

Cliff Fletcher: "Is that a 'no', Garth?"

Garth Snow: "AHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHHHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAA"

Cliff Fletcher: "I'll take that as a no. How about Bryan Mc..."

Garth Snow: *CLICK*

Cliff Fletcher: "Mike Gillis, congratulations on the new job in Vancouver. How about Andrew Raycroft to back-up Robby Luongo?"

Mike Gillis: "No."

Cliff Fletcher: *awkward silence*..."Please?"

Mike Gillis: "No."

Cliff Fletcher: "Can't you do me just this one solid?

Mike Gillis: "I don't even know you."

Cliff Fletcher: "I don't even want anything for him. Just take him."

Mike Gillis: "Gotta run!" *Click*

Apologies. I've gotten completely and ridiculously off-track. This isn't about Andrew Raycroft, it's about Brian Burke. And Cliff Fletcher. So, seriously, let's hand the reigns to Fletcher for one year, pray to God Burke doesn't sign an extension with the Ducks, and, if we have to, beg and plead for him to come to Toronto in April 2009.

Fletcher, and his right hand man Dougie Gilmour, had a close eye on the team post-JFJ. Clifford did what he could at the deadline, and had deals in place for those with the no-trade clauses in their contracts. Once the season ended, he maintained there would be significant changes to the roster. Let's let him make those changes. He's already kicked the tires on guys like Bryan McCabe, Pavel Kubina, and Darcy Tucker.

Right now my mind state is such that if I can't have Burke, I don't want anybody else. Well, other than Clifford, but he's already here. Oh you know what I mean: I'm willing to wait for Burkey.

And, who knows, if the Leafs do keep Fletcher around, perhaps he can take the time to show #93 Doug Gilmour the ropes. Maybe we might not need Burke then after all...