Fantasy Hockey Fail

Honestly, nothing hurts quite like fucking up in fantasy hockey. It haunts you. A small piece of me dies each time I hear the name "Dennis Wideman."

Earlier this season I dropped Wideman, the steady Boston Bruins defenseman, from my fantasy hockey team. 

It gets worse. 

I dropped him for San Jose Sharks d-man Christian Ehrhoff.

I drafted Wideman. I felt like he was going to improve on his 36 point 2007/2008 season, and benefit from playing on a decent Boston team. Well, he certainly has.

I can't say I thought the Bruins would be this good. And while I was high on Wideman, I didn't think he'd be this good, either. But that doesn't make it any easier. He used to be mine. I let him go. Now I'm paying the price; sitting quietly by my window, and thinking about him.

In 45 games this season, Wideman has 31 points (9 goals, 22 assists), and is a whopping +26. Twenty of those points have come on the power play.

To make sure I was reminded how much of an idiot I am, Wideman scored last night against the Toronto Maple Sucks. It was a power play goal, of course.

And Ehrhoff? I dropped his ass. After starting the season with 16 points in twenty games, he's tallied a goal and two assists since November 22nd. Fuck Christian Ehrhoff.

I'm sitting in fourth place in my pool. There's a substantial amount of money to be won. Had I kept Wideman, I'd probably be in second, or close to it. Had I kept Wideman, and had Tomas Plekanec not morphed into a useless piece of Montreal Canadiens shit, I might even be challenging for first.

You live and learn, I guess. At least I now know what John Ferguson Jr. feels like.

Still, I need a drink.

Superstar Dreaming...

I watched a lot of Joe Thornton this past week. On Tuesday when his Sharks spanked our Maple Leafs, and last night on Hockey Night in Canada. Thornton's, umm, pretty damn good.

I don't think the folks in San Jose understand just how lucky they are to have him. I don't think Joe Thornton is fully appreciated down south.

Imagine Thornton in a Leafs uniform.

As days go by, I find myself longing for a superstar. As I turn the page on the Mats Sundin years, I find myself longing for a player who can simply dominate the game.

You know, a Thornton, or a Jarome Iginla, Vinny Lecavalier, Henrik Zetterberg, or an Alex Ovechkin.

Don't get me wrong, the Sundin years were tremendous. There wasn't a more consistent mother sucker than Mats to ever wear the blue and white. Sundin was who he was: a point-per-game performer. And considering the talent that he was surrounded with, that's an accomplishment in itself. I mean, he made Mike Johnson a 20-goal scorer, for crying out loud. While Sundin was a "superstar," he wasn't a "superstar superstar," you know what I'm saying?

I want a guy on the Leafs who can challenge for the Art Ross, and the Hart. I want a guy who simply, well, runs shit.

I want Joe Thornton.

And I'll be honest, I cried myself to sleep last night. Matt Stajan, after all, leads the Leafs in scoring.

Last I checked, he ain't no Thornton.

Deep Thoughts Vol. 15: Dark Days

It's been a rough 48 hours in Toronto; my city, and my home. Teams are losing, owners are dying, hard-working people are getting laid off, and coaches are getting fired. Me? I blame the economy.

Farewell SMitch

Bryan Colangelo finally dropped the hammer. You know, no word of a lie, I woke up Wednesday morning knowing that Mitchell was in the final hours of his tenure as lead Raptor. After Tuesday night's epic fail, the writing was on the proverbial wall.

This one falls into the "You can't fire the players so you've got to fire the coach" category, period. Colangelo had to do something, especially after the Denver Nuggets ran roughshod all over his team. That might have been the most embarrassing 48 minutes in Toronto basketball history.

There are a lot of people in Toronto who are happy today, and celebrating Mitchell's departure. I read a lot of shit on Facebook last night - "Good riddance Uncle Sam," "This is where I become a Raptors fan," "Finally! I can start cheering for the Raps again!" - and to these people I say: you're an idiot, your anger and frustration is aimed at the wrong person.

Bryan Colangelo is the one to blame. Yes, the same Bryan Colangelo whom I have perfomed verbal fellatio on many times in this very space. Like I said, the honeymoon is over. 

Just look at the Toronto roster. Even with Chris Bosh playing like a man possessed, Jose Calderon playing like, well, Jose Calderon, and Andrea Bargnani playing decent ball, the team still stinks. The worry about Colangelo's prized off-season possession Jermain O'Neal was that he can't stay healthy and, surprise surprise, he can't. And the problem on the wing has been evident since opening night.

Not even Red Auerbach himself could get the Raptors to meet the lofty, yet extremely unrealistic, expectations that have been placed on them. 

Coaching, in my humble opinion, can only go so far. The Raptors plain and simple can't defend. The team is allowing more than 100 points a game, and I don't think that's because of Mitchell's defensive schemes. Sam isn't the one out on the court falling for every single God damn pump fake.

Is Jay Triano the answer? I love him, but only to the Jeapordy question "Who was the first Canadian head coach of an NBA team?"

On an aside, anyone else kind of miss T.J. Ford, and 48 minutes of glorious point guard play? I do. Largely because Will Soloman is the devil.

I'm going to miss Sam. I'll miss his personality, his candor. He was good people. It's unfortunate the SMitch era had to come to an end this way, and that Raptors fans are taking petty parting shots at him as he leaves town. They don't speak for all of us, Sam.

And I would also like to point out that, for the record, the fellas over at The Passion That Frustrates Us All saw SMitch's firing coming from a mile away. Bastards.

Man, that 2007 division title feels like it was 10 years ago, doesn't it?

R.I.P. Mr. Rogers

Toronto Blue Jays owner, Ted Rogers, had his contract expire early Tuesday morning. He was 75 years old. May the media mogul rest in peace. 

Uncle Teddy was a shrewd businessman, and God knows his family is well taken care of. I mean, have you ever stopped to think how much money Rogers Wireless makes just off the mysterious System Access Fee?

In all seriousness, there were times years ago when the fate of the Blue Jays was in question. Were it not for Rogers and his deep pockets, this city could very well have lost its baseball team. So, thank you, Uncle Ted. May the family name continue to prosper.

Holiday Cheer

Hours after the team's owner checked out for the afterlife, the Blue Jays showed 24 front-office employees the door. Yes, the Christmas spirit is alive and well down at the Rogers Centre. Make sure to swing by the Cable Box when you're out singing Oh Holy Night.

Fucking economy. I'm scared.

"They Are Who We Thought They Were!"

Really, is there a more apt quote than that from Dennis Green about the San Jose Sharks? That's one sexy hockey team. I won't lie, I fantasized about them last night.

Change We Can Believe In

My main man Barack Obama is officially the Democratic presidential nominee. Finally. His meteoric rise from the Illinois Senate to hopefully the White House has been historic and nothing short of remarkable. He ran his campaign with a message of hope and change, and it's time to apply that message to our beloved Toronto Maple Leafs.

On an aside, screw you Hillary Clinton. Her speech last night was one of many examples why many can no longer stand the Clintons. She had the perfect opportunity to begin healing the deeply divided Democratic party, and she didn't take it. Instead, she continued to act as if the nomination was still in sight, completely ignoring reality. What an ego. It's difficult to imagine just how large the Clinton ego truly is. She lost but was unable to admit defeat. It was shameful. I don't think I've ever called a woman a douchebag before but, well, there's a first time for everything. What a douchebag.

So, you're probably wondering what the hell Barack Obama has to do with the Toronto Maple Leafs. Let me tell you. I believe in hope. And I believe in change. Hell, I even donated a cool $5 to the Obama campaign. While I won't be donating any money to the obese coffers of the Maple Leafs, I do believe that although things are George-W.-Bush-bleak around here, we must have the audacity of hope, just like Barack Obama. It is these times of struggle and failure that we will look back upon most fondly when we are, eventually, on top of the hockey world.

As has been widely reported, Ron Wilson is likely to become the next coach of the Toronto Maple Leafs. Ladies and gentlemen, Wilson represents change. I can't say I know much about the man but I do know that he comes to Toronto with a winning record in almost 1100 games coached in the NHL. His playoff record, while not sparkling, is one game under .500. Wilson got a lot out of some average Washington Capitals teams in the late 90s and his San Jose Sharks teams during his tenure in the Bay Area were always a force to be reckoned with.

In stark contrast to the recently canned Paul Maurice, Wilson comes to Toronto with the reputation of a hard-ass. He's not the friendliest coach to play for. He pushes his players' buttons and demands accountability. I must say, he is exactly the type of coach the Maple Leafs need - the anti-Maurice. While I was hoping for Pat Burns, I can't say I'm disappointed with Wilson. You probably knew I'd support whomever the Leafs hired. That is, after all, what this blog is all about (unequivocal support of the home team). But I'm optimistic because Wilson's style and hiring represents change, and the hope that things are finally going to get better around here.

The hireage of a reputable head coach like Wilson, arguably one of the more accomplished coaches on the market, is also a sign to soon-to-be free agent Mats Sundin that shit is actually getting done upstairs. It can only help in convincing him to stay in the blue and white.

The potential Wilson signing - we're not going to know for sure until the weekend, apparently - has me convinced that Brian Burke is not far behind. This is all just a little too convenient, you see. Burke and Wilson go way back. They were room partners during their college days and Burke is the godfather of one of Wilson's children. They're tight. Cliff Fletcher, the mastermind, is setting the table for Burke's arrival.

Think about it, who's the only other high-profile candidate the Leafs have interviewed for their vacant general manager position? Dave Nonis. Another one of Brian Burke's homeboys.

In another interesting twist, Burke's wife won't be returning to her job as host of a television program in Vancouver. Perhaps she's getting ready to pack her bags for Toronto?

I have a feeling it's all going to go down once the Detroit Red Wings win the Stanley Cup. Wilson signs, Burke gets released out of his contract with the Ducks, and the Toronto Maple Leafs have a brand-spanking new GM and head coach. I don't for a second believe that Wilson has gone home to mull over the contract presented to him. It's done, he is the next coach of the Maple Leafs. I'm thinking the Leafs are hoping the Wings win it all tonight, and they can then arrange one super-duper press conference next week to announce the hiring of both Burke and Wilson. And maybe Nonis too.

Ron Wilson and Brian Burke: Change We Can Believe In.

Best Save Ever...For Real This Time

Evgeni Nabokov already made the save of the playoffs a few weeks ago, but he one-upped himself yesterday. He was at his ridiculous-robbery-best again last night, and I think this one's even better, considering it was overtime and his team was facing elimination.

He and his Sharks may have lost the game, and the series, but Nabokov's a straight rude boy.



Best. Save. Ever.

Best Save Ever

This just in: San Jose Sharks goalie Evgeni Nabokov is good. He robbed, and I mean robbed, Owen Nolan last night. They don't come much better than this, folks:



The Calgary Flames/San Jose Sharks series is turning into a beaut. Two great teams, and two unbelievable goaltenders. The series is tied 1-1, and I'm beginning to smell a game seven.

Ain't nothing like the first round of the NHL playoffs.

I am going Cup crazy. And the best - Ovechkin - is yet to come.

Paul Maurice Needs A Hug

In the wake of another blown two-goal lead and another heartbreaking defeat, Toronto Maple Leafs head coach Paul Maurice got emotional. His job is not an easy one. He is a man in desperate need of a hug.

When asked about the effort of his team in a 3-2 loss to the San Jose Sharks, Maurice immediately choked up. The Leafs were, after all, a team that the media were reporting had quit on their head coach, but Maurice stood tall in praise of the men he commands.

"See, a big chunk of our problem is not lack of effort. It's wanting it so bad you're paralyzed by it," Maurice said.

Being paralyzed, especially in the defensive zone, and if your name is Andrew Raycroft, is certainly part of the Leafs' modus operandi, but I will agree that the Leafs played with much more determination, grit and heart in losing to the Sharks. As Damien Cox writes, the result was the same but there was actually some pride out there on the ice last night.

Now, I've watched many a post-game media scrum in my time as a Leafs fan, but never one quite like yesterday's. When asked whether the team's effort showed that the Leafs had in fact not quit on their coach, Maurice fought back tears, and I mean he really fought back tears. Losing 11 of the last 13 games has taken its toll on the coach, and it all came out last night. While the ship has slowly but surely been sinking, Maurice made it known that he was proud of each and every one of his men. His display showed me that he doesn't, not for even a split second, believe in his heart that the boys have quit on him.

Maurice's Hillary Clinton-esque moment also showed me how much of a competitor he is, how troubled he is by the Leafs' struggles, and how much he truly wants to win. Those bags under his eyes are real, and the plight of the Leafs is weighing heavily on his shoulders. While people all over this town, myself included, call for his dismissal, Maurice is at the end of the day just another working man, with a mortgage to pay and a family to feed. While his job of course pays more handsomely than most, it comes with the same amount of job security as losses this season for the New England Patriots: none. He could be unemployed by the time you read this, who knows? And that can't be a good feeling, especially when he is currently working what he calls "the job of his dreams."

As for the game, the Leafs blew a two-goal lead for the sixth time this season, this time a 2-0 margin in the third period. Toskala got the start in goal with Raycroft serving as his backup and Justin Pogge watching from the press box. Toskala, facing his former team, was brilliant. He did everything he could to try and get the Leafs a win, but it wasn't to be. My heart goes out to Vesa, who I know really wanted to win last night's tilt. He's been phenomenal for the Leafs this season. Along with Sundin, they have been about the only things that have gone right in a season gone so horribly wrong.

Going into the third period up 2-0, and down a man thanks to a Boyd Devereaux penalty, a Leafs collapse almost seemed inevitable, especially if San Jose was able to convert on their early power play. Convert they did, when Hal Gill was unable to clear the puck out of the Toronto zone. Gill then exacerbated the situation by inexplicably trying to play goal in front of Toskala. Patrick Marleau's point-shot went off Gill's stick, through Toskala's pads, and in. Cue the opening of the flood gates. The Sharks were then all over Toronto like Roger Clemens on a steroids syringe and the Leafs proceeded to take another couple of bonehead penalties (read: Jiri Tlusty is an idiot). With nine minutes left in the third period Toronto was suddenly down 3-2 and, like Vic Rauter always says, "you can make the final."

In the completely useless department, Dominic Moore made his Leafs debut last night and, well, debut is about all he did. He isn't going to be making much of an impact around here.

Ron MacLean, Don Cherry's whipping boy, pointed out that amidst all the turmoil and rumours surrounding the Leafs, it was fitting that they were finishing their hellish California road trip in the "Shark Tank." I couldn't agree more. It was a straight-up shark attack in the third period and the Leafs head home no longer an extremely fragile squad, but a broken one.

An interesting segment from last night's CBC broadcast was an interview with Scotty Bowman, who divulged that in August he did interview for a position with Toronto, even though he's denied it for months. Bowman said he had interviews and meetings with Larry Tanenbaum, Richard Peddie, and other members of the MLSE board, and that he was looking for a Bryan Colangelo type-deal with the Maple Leafs, at about the same price tag as the Raptors president and general manager ($3 million a year). Bowman wanted full control of all hockey operations. His track record, 10 freakin' Stanley Cups, speaks for itself.

So why the hell is John Ferguson still the general manager of our beloved hockey team? Because The Leafs passed, choosing instead to stick with JFJ and co. The Toronto Maple Leafs had a chance at Scotty Bowman, one of the greatest and most successful hockey minds of all-time, and they passed. Pardon my language, but that is un-fucking-believable. And deeply disappointing. Who knows when, or whether, the chance to bring in someone of the ilk of Bowman will come again. With decisions like these being made up at the top, it's no wonder the Leafs find themselves in the predicament they are in today - 16 wins, the fewest in the NHL, and 40 points, four away from being the worst team in the league. And lets not forget - nary a Stanley Cup sighting 'round these parts since 1967.

The Leafs, however, must soldier on. The team is off until Tuesday, and who knows if Ferguson and/or Maurice will still be with the team by then. If Maurice is let go, and I doubt he will be before Ferguson, he leaves not as a coach but as a fighter. I'll never forget the way he stood up for his team. He is a man of great integrity. I've said a lot of bad things about him in the past few months, but he gained a ton of my respect last night. It is when a man struggles that you learn the most about him.

The countdown until the axe falls continues. Will today be the day? We'll soon find out. It could very well be Sunday bloody Sunday. All in all, Paul Maurice isn't the only one that needs a hug. I think I do, too.

Tough times...