27 Outs

The sports world never sleeps. Me, I don't sleep enough.

1. I was on the stationary bike when Lyle Overbay took useless loogie Mark Hendrickson deep to right field for walk-off magic. I fist pumped. And you couldn't have slapped the stupid smile off of my face as I watched Overbay round the bases.

2. How enjoyable was it to see LyleO laughingly point to his helmet before he made it home, and then watch John Buck take a swing at his very head? On the Enjoyability Index, which I believe I just created, I'm going to have to go with a nine. Enjoy some fine photographs of the walk-off celebration, courtesy the hard working folks at Reuters (via daylife).

3. I'm working on a post I've so originally titled "Evaluating Overbay," in which I compare Lyle to every other American League first baseman every season since he arrived in Toronto, in terms of weighted on-base average, and weighted runs created plus. Sabermetrics, yo. It'll be up sometime next week, Inshallah.

4. Now that Overbay's finally hit 20 home runs, Adam Lind's going to play first base the rest of the way, right?

5. John Buck will hit his 20th home run next Sunday, October 3rd. Then it's all J.P. Arencibia behind the plate, all the time.

6. Ricky Romero reached and surpassed the 200-innings pitched mark Saturday afternoon. Milestone! Romero's improved his numbers across the board over 2009, except when it comes to wins. Which means Romero hasn't improved at all, actually. While Ricky's had his fair share of struggles, in July and September in particular, and continues to walk batters at a concerning rate, he's a better pitcher today than he was on this date last year. And, most importantly, he's healthy. Thank you, baseball Gods.

7. Edwin Encarnacion is a strong man. His home run to centre field on Saturday -- which sailed comfortably over the wall -- off a sub-90 MPH slider low in the strike zone proved it. It remains one of baseball's biggest shames that this isn't played every time he goes yard at the Dome.

8. You think you've seen it all, until Aaron Hill sends a home run to the second deck that lands in a concession worker's tray. I love baseball.

9. Two hundred and forty-one home runs. The Blue Jays' team record is 244, and it will fall.

10. I love defence, and it was on display Saturday afternoon at the SkyDome. Yunel Escobar's unorthodox throw to complete a double play. Jose Bautista's diving catch in right field, and subsequent doubling off of Ty Wigginton. Vernon Wells' highlight reel catch in centre field. There's nothing like good gloving, which is hopefully not what she said.

11. Speaking of Vernon Wells, The Ack wrote the post I was planning to write at The Tao Of Stieb. And it's always fun when someone does your homework for you. Lost in the shadow of Bautista's 52 home runs this summer has been the resurgence of Vernon Wells. And I'll be the first and last person to tell you that the resurgence of Vernon Wells has been a bloody fantastic development. The Vernon Wells Hatred Advisory System has at no point this season been higher than GUARDED. Wells has quietly reached the 30 home run mark, and in terms of wOBA (.359) and wRC+ (126), has had the third-best season of his career. His career, haters! No, Vernon's not worth the $23 million he's owed next season. Or the $21 million the year after that. And the year after that. And, Jesus, the year after that. But that's not the point.

12. You know what else has been great about 2010? David Purcey coming into his own as a middle reliever. He's got big shoes to fill. Get that paper, Scott Downs. You deserve it.

13. I miss Brandon Morrow.

14. Jesse Carlson's exploits in September: 5.2 IP, 3 H, 2 ER, 1 BB, 4 K, 3.18 ERA, 0.71 WHIP, .150 BAA, .143 BABIP, 2.20 GB/FB. All's well that ends well, right?

15. Drew from Ghostrunner on First wrote Big League Stew's 2010 Toronto Blue Jays Dear John letter. It's a beauty. A couple of excerpts: "A complete game, 132-pitch, 17-strikeout opus came one batter shy of a no-hitter against the Rays. Not only one of the best games thrown by Blue Jays pitching in franchise history, one of the very best games ever pitched. Though no-hitting the Ray is about as rare as a failed urine test at the Lohan home, Morrow completely dominated the hapless Rays hitters with his otherworldly collection of high 90s heat and darting curveballs. ... A winning record heading into the final weeks is a heady accomplishment for a team expected to slip behind the Orioles in the standings. The Baltimore Orioles! Can you imagine anything more insulting?" Make sure you check it out. And about the Orioles, Drew, no, I can't.

16. Regardless of what you think of Cito Gaston, on your feet on Wednesday. No excuses.

17. The Texas Rangers celebrated winning the American League West division title Saturday evening. They're headed back to the playoffs for the first time in 11 years. And, yes, there is a Ron Washington cocaine joke somewhere in there. In all seriousness, I love the Rangers' post-season slogan: It's Time. I'm wondering if they'll lend it to us in Toronto.

18. I'm glad Felix Hernandez has a win-loss record of 12-12. We're about to find out just how far sabermetrics have come, folks.

19. Sunday: Buffalo and New England. Bills and Patriots. Probably just the Patriots. Hide yo kids, hide yo wife. Hide errbody. "Maybe next week, maybe next century ..."

20. After Saturday's loss to San Jose, Toronto FC have all but been mathematically eliminated from MLS's post-season. So: Playoffs!!!1

21. After scoring, again, for TFC Saturday night, Dwayne De Rosario "pulled out his imaginary chequebook and pen and mimicked writing a cheque. It was much more of a message than a goal celebration." I'm with DeRo: it's a crime he's so grossly underpaid compared to the mistakes that are Julian De Guzman and Mista. But there's a time and place for such statements, and it's not during a must-win game when the team you captain is battling life and death for a playoff spot. Hell, there's even a person for such a statement: DeRo's agent.

22. Finally, the Toronto Maple Leafs. And wasn't it great to hear Ron Wilson throw Nazem Kadri under the bus after the Leafs' Saturday night loss to Buffalo? According to master of motivation Wilson, Kadri likes to give the puck away, and needs his skates sharpened. You've just got to love constructive criticism. Especially in public. Perhaps it's all the years of being a Leafs fan finally taking their toll, but I can't help but shake the feeling that this -- Kadri and Wilson -- will not end well. It's a sobering thought. So sobering that I need a drink.

23. Oh, I almost forgot: Nick Foligno, and the beautiful goal he scored Saturday night. You know what made it even better? The fact it came against Montreal, and was scored on Carey Price.

24. Last and certainly least: Daniel Briere, fist pumping like a champ. In the pre-bloody-season! Disgusting.

I know, only 24 outs. This post was called due to rain.

Image of Jose Bautista's weapon of choice courtesy of -- this is a recording -- Reuters, via daylife.

One day it'll all make sense

Exactly one year ago today, on the morning of July 7th, 2009, Adam Lind was hitting .310/.384/.560/.944. He had 18 home runs to his name, along with 57 RsBI. Lind's wOBA in April, May, and June (with .330-.335 commonly used as the MLB average): .404, .333, and .457. There's more: his wRC+ -- wOBA's version of OPS+, with 100 being average -- in April, May, and June: 151, 103, 185.

Lind's comrade, Aaron Hill, woke up that same Tuesday a year ago with a batting line that read: .295/.334/.496/.830. He had even more home runs: 20. And even more RsBI: 59. Hill's wOBA through the first three baseball months of 2009: .419, .352, .337. His wRC+: 161, 116, 106.

Last year, the two of them were off to the proverbial races. Today: they're in reverse.

Adam Lind, 365 days later: .206/.266/.350/.615. A wOBA of .273, and a wRC+ of only 66. Ten home runs, and 37 RsBI. Eighty-three strikeouts compared to only 57 at this point in 2009. Left-handed pitching has absolutely toyed with Lind, like that dude in the Ally Canada commercials, who messes with those cute, innocent children. A .107 batting average against southpaws is laughable, but a wRC+ of -32 against them makes me want to do nothing but get drunk on cheap scotch.

It's not all bleak. There is hope in Lind's line-drive percentage:

April 2009: 23.2%

May 2009: 22.1%

June 2009: 24.4%

April 2010: 21.5%

May 2010: 14.9%

June 2010: 22.6%

Aside from May, Lind is mostly still hitting the ball hard. He just happens to be a Toronto Blue Jay. Which means he's unlucky. But it's reached the point where I've become concerned, so all I'll say is this: Cito better fix Lind before he leaves.

Aaron Hill. Jesus, where to begin? For consistency's sake, his deplorable line of .189/.276/.355/.631. His .284 wOBA is slightly better than Lind's, as is his 73 wRC+.

The bottom line: Toronto's two best hitters in 2009 have spent the first half of 2010 as impostors; as below-average Major League Baseball hitters.

To make matters worse, Lyle Overbay has decided to join Lind and Hill in the Suck Brigade. But before we get to Overbay's struggles, let's get one thing straight: if you hated on Overbay last season, you're probably going to hell. You had no reason to. He finished 2009 with a wRC+ of 123. Just because he's not a traditional first baseman doesn't mean he doesn't get the job done.

That job in 2010 is a whole other matter, though, because it's been a nightmare first half for Overbay. Once again, Lyle can't hit left-handed pitching; a .189 average, it's all but a lost cause. But he's improving. After posting a 62 wRC+ in April, he got it up to 97 in May, 111 in June, and now Overbay's off to a scorching July. Perhaps, with free agency pending, he's playing for a new contract. I would be.

It all just makes me sit back and wonder: what if Hill and Lind were having career years in 2010 instead of 2009, joining Jose Bautista, Alex Gonzalez, and John Buck who are doing the same. What if the two young stars were able to build on 2009, and play with with a rejuvenated, healthy, and Anaheim-bound Vernon Wells? What if Chicago passed on Alex Rios? What if Travis Snider was ready? What if Edwin Encarnacion wasn't a disgrace to third basemen the world over? (Especially Scott Rolen.) What if, what if, what if. How different might things be? Because the perfect season is what it's going to take for the Toronto Blue Jays to get back to the post-season; to the Playoffs!!!1

That's the beauty of baseball. In Toronto, at least. Where we wait for that season where it all comes together; for the seven months where baseball once again makes complete sense. The many peaks and valleys in each and every summer long season; they're why I love baseball. For me, watching Vernon Wells rise, then fall, then rise, fall again, and now be selected back to the All-Star game has been one incredible ride. I've fallen and risen with him, with every pop up to second base, and with every home run to left field.

The pitching so far this campaign has been more than adequate. Toronto's top four starters have 25 wins between them, and all find themselves in the top 25 in xFIP in the American League: Ricky Romero: 3.50 (6th); Brandon Morrow: 3.87 (11th); Shaun Marcum 4.01 (17th); and Brett Cecil: 4.15 (25th).

Could it be better, the pitching? Of course. It could always be better. Especially the fifth spot in the rotation, which I wouldn't mind seeing David Purcey audition for one more time. Why not? (And would someone please get Jesse Litsch on a treadmill?) But at the end of the day, the Blue Jays have now allowed three more runs -- 379 -- than they've scored -- 376. And that's on the bats.

So, we wait. For Lind and Hill to turn it around. For a peek at J.P. Arencibia, and perhaps Kyle Drabek, in a six-man September Toronto starting rotation. But most of all, we wait for the summer where it all comes together. And make no mistake: it will come. It has to. And that'll be a good summer. A very good summer. Probably the best summer of all.

Until then, though, all I want is my Silver Sluggers back.

Valuable Life Lessons

I'd tell you I'm not pitching a tremendous baseball boner excited over Toronto's 5-1 start to the season, and Vernon Wells' 1.450 OPS a week into the marathon that is the Major League Baseball season, because I learned a valuable lesson last season (27-14!!!1). But I'd be lying.

Before I go any further, let's take a minute and give thanks to the baseball Gods above for not making us Orioles fans. Always a pleasure, Baltimore.

Five wins in a row out of six to start the campaign. On the road. From a Doc-less rotation. Without, for the most part, the services of Aaron Hill. It's like a fairytale. Throw in four home runs from Alex Gonzalez, half his long ball total of 2009; flawless performances from Shawn Camp, Scott Downs, Dana Eveland, and Kevin Gregg; yeoman's work from Casey Janssen, Shaun Marcum, Ricky Romero and Brian Tallet; and, well, I'm feeling fantastic, without having had anything to drink.

It's early, sure. But it's never too early. Not for visions of grandeur. You know: a Cito sendoff worthy of "The Manager."

Why not us?

Difficult Choices

The sweep aside, it's been a rough weekend. I'm faced with a tough question, the answer to which escapes me. I need your help.

What Vernon Wells inspired sign should I take to Monday's home opener:

1. The tried, tested, and true "I Believe In Vernon Wells"?

2. With his scorching start, and his being a fantastic human being, I'm not sure how anyone could, but what do you think about "Don't Boo Vernon"?

3. Or the Volkswagen inspired "VW: Das Awesome"?

UPDATE: I'm going with "I Believe In Vernon Wells." Why? Because I'm lazy, and the sign's ready to go from last year. It only makes sense. And as much as I too love the "VW: Das Awesome" idea, it's far easier to scribble "Playoffs!!!1" on the back of what I've already got.

The Good Foot

"Seeking to forget makes exile all the longer; the secret of redemption lies in remembrance."

- Richard von Weizsaecker

In two games, Vernon Wells' three home runs represent 20% of his 2009 total.

We remember 2009. And 2007. It is the memory of those two utterly shitastic seasons that will make Wells' 2010 exploits that much sweeter.

He's healthy. He's back. Rejoice.

.714/.778/2.000/2.778

Why You Should Believe In Vernon Wells

I believe in Vernon Wells. You know that. Even more so after his performance yesterday in Arlington; he left me tingling with excitement. You know how I roll: I don't hop aboard the nearest lifeboat, or even reach for a life jacket. I grab an instrument, and start playing. I go down with the ship.

But this isn't about me. It's about you. And why you ought to join me on the Vernon Wells Express. Next stop: Redemption City.

Before I get into the details, it's important to, once again, point out that Wells' play will never justify his contract. Never. Ever. The perfect storm led to Wells signing for $126 million over seven years (!!!!!111) back in 2006, and you can't be mad at him for signing on the dotted line. You would have done the same. It's best to let your anger go, and instead hope that Wells can once again become a functioning member of baseball society here in Toronto. Because the good Lord above knows he won't be plying his trade anywhere else.

Since becoming the Toronto Blue Jays' everyday centre fielder way back in 2002, Wells has posted four sub-.800 OPS seasons. Here they are:

2002: .275/.305/.457; 23 HR, 100 RsBI; .762 OPS

2005: .269/.320/.463; 28 HR, 97 RsBI; .783 OPS

2007: .245/.304/.402; 16 HR, 80 RsBI; .706 OPS

2009: .260/.311/.400; 15 HR, 66 RsBI; .711 OPS

I know what you're thinking: I'd love an hour alone with former Jays president Paul Godfrey, too. In Vernon's defence, his 2005 OPS+ comes in at 104; very slightly above average. But the injuries, and the recent drop in power numbers, are deeply concerning. Again, what's done is done. Here's what matters: Wells has always bounced back.

2003: .317/.359/.550; 33 HR, 117 RsBI; .909 OPS

2006: .303/.357/.542; 32 HR, 106 RsBI; .899 OPS

2008: .300/.343/.496; 20 HR, 78 RsBI; .840 OPS

2010: (projected) .750/.750/1.500; 162 HR, 486 RsBI; 2.250 OPS

Injuries limited Wells to only 108 games in 2008, but he was on pace for one of the better seasons of his career. And those 108 games proved, to these eyes, that Wells doesn't need a Carlos Delgado or a Troy Glaus batting behind him to succeed. Wells was Toronto's only legitimate power threat two years ago; no other Blue Jay hit more than 15 home runs.

The point is: history only repeats itself. If Opening Day is any indication, 2010 will be the year of Vernon Wells.

(You know that bit about history only repeating itself? Let's hope that's not the case in terms of Wells following up a great year - 2006 and 2008 - with a tremendously awful one.)

Delhi Daze

My days in Delhi are numbered. For the past two weeks, I've done nothing but eat, drink, sleep, and watch cricket. Of course, I've also had a lot of time to reflect. And if I've learned anything at all over the past six months, including the past two weeks, it's that nothing ever goes according to plan. That no matter how many times you're thrown a curveball, and go down swinging like Vernon Wells, you've got to keep trying to make contact ...

1. To say that cricket-obsessed India has fallen in love with the Indian Premier League is a gross understatement. It's kind of a big deal out here; all IPL, all the time. And with the value of an IPL franchise set to soar to $500 million in the near future, making the league's next team more valuable than even the Toronto Maple Leafs, the world is beginning to take notice. As for me, I've fallen in love with cricket all over again, especially the Twenty20 format which, undoubtedly, is here to stay.

2. Delhi is my Indian hometown, which means I've thrown my support behind the Delhi Daredevils. The club opened the tournament with back-to-back wins; playoffs!!!1 But, true to form for any team I grant my exclusive fandom, they've dropped three in a row, including an utterly embarrassing loss to Mumbai by a ridiculous 98 runs. Luckily for Delhi, I'm about to say goodbye.

3. The rallying cry in the front office of the Toronto Raptors isn't "Playoffs!!!1" It's got to be "Playoff Revenue!!!1" One round's better than nothing, right?

4. If Andrea Bargnani is lazy, what does that make Hedo Turkoglu?

5. It is every Indian woman's responsibility to complain about her servant, maid, driver, and/or child care provider. While at the same time realizing that she couldn't survive without any one of them.

6. Seriously, my cousin asked me: "How do you survive without a servant?" Incredible India.

7. No pressure, Shaun Marcum.

8. If there's one thing I wish for more than anything else this baseball season, other than Vernon Wells winning the triple crown and MVP, it's that V-Dub walk up to home plate at the SkyDome to Soulja Boy's "Turn My Swag On."

9. In the fight to restore Wells' good name, this type of stuff from Jeff Blair really doesn't help:

"Turkoglu in particular is so abject and so low energy and has such awful body language that it is not a stretch to repeat the sneaking suspicion he is this franchise's Vernon Wells."

It's true. But it doesn't help. Let's just leave Wells out of it. Of the Joe Mauer contract extension discussion, too. Please and thanks.

10. Is Adeiny Hechevarria a Toronto Blue Jay or what?

11. I can't fight it anymore. Because it's official: "The Manager" is no longer named "Cito." From this day forward he shall be known only as "Clarence." Well done, Drew. I salute you.

12. Now that Jason Blake is no longer with us, I believe John Mitchell is the owner of the Maple Leafs' most impressive fist pump.

13. I've seen Dion Phaneuf play one game as a member of the Toronto Maple Leafs. Yet I'm proud to throw my support behind his bid for the vacant captaincy. Such is the power of a Garnet Exelby recommendation.

14. The curious case of Lee Stempniak: 11 goals in 61 games as a Maple Leaf last season. Fourteen goals in 62 games as a Maple Leaf this season. Suddenly, nine goals in nine games as a brand new Phoenix Coyote. I know he can't possibly keep up that pace, but it truly begs the question: what the fuck?

15. Martin St. Louis is tied for fourth in the NHL in scoring. Why does this shock me? Does it shock anyone else?

16. Five of the NHL's top 10 scorers are Canadian. Three of them - the aforementioned St. Louis, Steve Stamkos, and Brad Richards - didn't play for Team Canada at the Olympics. But second-guessing Steve Yzerman's roster would be pretty pointless now, wouldn't it? However, it's certainly obvious after the fact that Patrice Bergeron had absolutely zero business being in Vancouver.

17. Tuukka Rask is the owner of the league's best goals against average (2.08), and second-best save percentage (.928; .001 behind Ryan Miller). This was bound to happen.

18. If there is a God, Boston will not end up drafting Tyler Seguin or Taylor Hall.

19. Personal hygiene doesn't rank high on the average Indian's priority list. And that's cool; who am I to judge? But the smell of a jam-packed Delhi subway car on a day when the thermometer touches 40 degrees Celsius cannot be described, only experienced.

20. I'm officially templed out. You've seen one, you've seen them all.

The Land of Kings

I'm about set to depart Rajasthan, "The Land of Kings." My train leaves in two hours. Udaipur has been most pleasant; I prefer small-town India to the chaos of the big cities. Some sports and India related nuggets for you to chew on, before I head for the station ...

1. It hasn't gone unnoticed out here, by me at least, that the Toronto Blue Jays are playing .833 baseball, and tied for first place, so far in Grapefruit League action. I'm not going to say it, because it would be totally ridiculous, but you know I'm thinking it.

2. The smell of feces is far too commonplace, and far too acceptable, in India. But with cows, millions - it seems - of stray dogs, horses, mules, monkeys, goats, pigs, and the odd camel roaming around, I guess there isn't much anyone can do but accept the stench. Perhaps, after another month or two on the subcontinent, I too won't be bothered by the smell. But I doubt it.

3. In seven games for the Maple Leafs, J.S. Giguere is sporting a .917 save percentage. Boners abound!!1 But, since I've only watched him play one game, his first, you tell me: has Giggy played as well as that number above suggests? Or are his first two games in the blue and white, back-to-back shutouts, distorting the view?

4. I'm as liberal as they come. I believe marijuana should be legalized, and I'm all for gay marriage, and gay rights. But this one I don't quite get: heterosexual Indian men - best mates, let's say - who walk down the street holding hands. I'm talking really holding hands: fingers locked between each other's. Maybe it's me. Perhaps I'm just not that in tune with my sexuality, but the thought of holding hands with a male friend of mine while we walk down the street makes me slightly uncomfortable. I couldn't do it.

5. I see that the Toronto Raptors are tenuously holding on to their playoff position. You didn't think it was going to be easy, did you? Also: I haven't been keeping up to date with Chris Bosh's injury woes; just tell me it's got nothing to do with either of his knees.

6. Even Ian White would be jealous of some of the epic moustaches I've seen out here in Rajasthan.

7. Before the Toronto Blue Jays were Roy Halladay's team, they were Carlos Delgado's. Now that the Halladay years have been left behind for the history books, yes, the Blue Jays are Vernon Wells' team. He is the veteran in the club house. "The player" who has won the most accolades, and represented the Blue Jays at the most All-Star games. What's wrong with him coming out and saying it? Since when is confidence, and taking charge of the clubhouse in the spring, a bad thing? Nothing, absolutely nothing, would please me more than to come home to Toronto in June to fine Wells in the midst of one fine fucking season. If I've said it once, I've said it a million times: I believe in Vernon Wells.

8. The average Indian has absolutely no qualms about belching, breaking wind, picking his nose, and, if a man, urinating in public. It's these cultural differences that I find amazing everytime I visit.

9. I just brought up the Toronto Maple Leafs' player stats page on Yahoo! Sports. In one month, Brian Burke traded the team's top scorers, three through eight: Alex Ponikarovsky, Matt Stajan, Niklas Hagman, Lee Stempniak, Jason Blake, and Ian White. I'm not sure I've ever seen this type of mid-season roster upheaval. It's a good thing: the Leafs stink.

10. Based solely on reading what my fellow Leafs fans have been tweeting, I think I'm going to grow rather fond of Luca Caputi. And he's from Toronto. Local boy!!!1

11. Not enough people hate Matt Cooke. I fear that will remain the case even after his most recent display of douchebaggery.

12. A beggar approached my cousin and I a few days ago in Jaipur, asking for money. We politely lied and said we didn't have anything to give. As the beggar walked away, he called us "conjoose;" cheap. A bad day at the office, I guess. And a terrible begging strategy, if I must say so myself.

13. I saw a photo of Ponikarovsky celebrating a goal with Evgeni Malkin. Poni must feel like he's dead and gone to heaven.

14. There's an Indian singer in heavy rotation on MTV out here named Prince. He gets a million points for originality. As an entertainer, and even an athlete, it's all about the team around you; the people you surround yourself with. I remember reading Mario Lemieux's biography, and learning that, upon entering the NHL, he wanted to wear #99. He wanted to prove that he was in fact the greatest hockey player in the world. (Full disclosure: I'm on the Lemieux side of the Gretzky/Lemieux debate.) Mario's agent at the time, I believe, or someone close to him, told him the idea wasn't such a hot one. So Lemieux flipped #99 around, and wore #66. Personally, I think the NHL would be right to - as they did for The Great One - retire #66 league-wide. No one should ever be given the option to wear it again.

15. I'm going going, back back, to Delhi Delhi. Will hit you up from there.

Sunday Night Football

Greetings from the Indian subcontinent. Candolim beach in northern Goa, to be exact. The weather and surroundings are beautiful here. I'm making a point to enjoy both for each and every one of you.

I trust you spent your Sunday night watching football. I certainly did. On two giant projection screens. But not the game you're thinking of; Chelsea vs. Arsenal. The J29 Sports Bar here in Candolim was filled with English and Russian tourists, taking in the Premiership clash. Upon entering the outdoor restaurant, a gentlemen stopped me dead in my tracks: "You want to bet on the game, mate?" Don't mind if I do. I dropped 100 rupees on a 2-1 Chelsea final, with 6-1 odds. The restaurant's bookie had three pages of odds, from everything to the first shot, first goal, and even first team to hit the woodwork. Clearly, J29 was my type of place.

Thanks to Petr Cech, my bet was a losing one. But I can't be mad. Not at a superb goaltender. Cech is so good I almost want to become a Chelsea supporter. It was 100 rupees, or $2.44, well spent.

Speaking of 100 rupees, that's how much a 551 ml bottle of Kingfisher Indian beer goes for. Again, $2.44 very well spent. As a child, the beauty of visiting India was that it meant as much Coke, Sprite and Limca the heart could desire. Anything but water. As an adult, it's even better. Beer, beer, and more beer. Safety first, right?

And, you guessed it, "Kingfisher" is the first Indian word you need to learn. Practice makes perfect. I'm sure you'll be fine.

Back to the footy match, for a second. The Arsenal/Chelsea rivalry, and the fact that it transcends borders, only drives home the point that Toronto needs another ice hockey team. If the greater London area sports five teams in the Premiership, it's absolutely absurd that only one hockey team calls Toronto home. Yes, this is where you throw in your "And they're barely a hockey team!!!1" joke. Thanks.

And Didier Drogba. Jeez. Twelve games vs. Arsenal, and 12 goals to his name, after two Sunday night. Quite the performance, especially the second marker, coming off his left foot. Drogba's Arsenal's daddy.

Some final thoughts before I leave you:

• In 76 starts over the past two seasons with Toronto, Vesa Toskala posted two shutouts. In two starts in one week as a Maple Leaf, J.S. Giguere has done the same. The Leafs have already won this trade.
• My man Ian from The Blue Jay Hunter will be picking up the slack for me while I'm gone, and running the Vernon Wells Hatred Advisory System once baseball gets going. I imagine the hatred levels will be elevated as soon as spring training begins. The pressure will be on Wells from the get go. Remember: please don't boo him at the Dome. Give him a chance. Believe, dammit.

Until we meet again ...

Deep Thoughts: 5:00 am

In no particular order ...

1. Chris Chelios loves playing hockey. So much so that the 47-year-old refused to sign with an NHL team in a limited role, and chose to continue riding the bus in the minors. I used to hate Chelios. I don't really, anymore. Life is short. I like to think that if I was professional hockey player, and had a career that mirrored his, I'd be doing exactly what Chelios is doing. I hope he plays forever.

2. I have no plans to travel by air to the USA over the next little while. But I'm already looking forward to that security check. As someone with brown skin born in Kuwait City, it's going to be a hoot.

3. Fuck. Tomas. Plekanec. I traded him in my fantasy keeper league last season. For nothing. And he was one of my four keepers. After posting 69 points in 2007/2008, I figured he was ready to break out in 2008/2009. But he struggled. Put up only 39 points. And I, shockingly, showed remarkably little patience. Today he's seventh in league scoring with 44 points, and it physically hurts to see him sitting in the top-10. To add more misery to my life, a staggering 18 of his points have come on the power play - more points on the PP than Henrik Sedin, Sidney Crosby, Alex Ovechkin, Nicklas Backstrom and Dany Heatley. And you know what? I could have used those valuable power play fantasy points, instead of relying on the the Brian Rolstons, Cory Stillmans and Marco Sturms of the fantasy hockey world.

4. Speaking of my fantasy team, keeper Brad Boyes has one fewer goal than everyone's favourite Toronto Maple Leaf, and soon to be unrestricted free agent, Lee Stempniak. In his career, Boyes has registered seasons of 26, 17, 43 and 33 goals. He's on pace to finish his current campaign with 19. He needs to find his God damn equilibrium. Regardless, I'm in a pickle. Moving forward, do I keep him? As of today, my four best fantasy points performers are Sidney Crosby (1365 points), Tomas Vokoun (1031 points), Jamie Langenbrunner (855 points), and Brooks Laich (745 points). Laich's no keeper; he's been awful after getting off to a great start. I'm leaning towards keeping Matt Duchene; 24 points (630 pool points) as an 18-year-old is nothing to sneeze at. In conclusion: fuck both Boyes and Plekanec.

5. As I grow older, I care less and less about the NFL. And I'm totally at peace with this development.

6. Does Sidney Crosby still live at Mario Lemieux's place? I ask in all seriousness. Because if he does, he's not allowed to be captain of Team Canada. You must live in your own place to captain Team Canada. Enough's enough. Otherwise he'll never leave.

7. I'm sure you already noticed, but the Vernon Wells Hatred Advisory System has been lowered to GUARDED. He does yeoman's work in the community, and for those less privileged, and deserves some props for it. Look within your heart; you can learn to love Wells again. Just let him in. I have.

8. Does anyone know how much the Olympic Torch Relay costs? My attempts to find out (read: I googled it) have so far been unsuccessful. I understand the desire to unite this massive country behind the Vancouver games, but the whole production seems like a giant waste of money. And a giant waste of news time, too. I guess when the Olympics cost that much money, what's a few million more?

9. Have you seen highlights of Pat Quinn recently? He looks like he could use a scotch. A double. Coaching the Edmonton Oilers does not seem to be a lot of fun.

10. Inspired by MF37 at Bitter Leaf Fan Page, the best book I read in 2009 was, without a doubt, A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry. The runner-up: Imperial Life in the Emerald City; Inside Iraq's Green Zone by Rajiv Chandrasekaran.

11. The sample size (15 games, 14 starts) is about half that of most starting NHL goalies, but Tuukka Rask's save percentage is a sterling .933. Vesa Toskala can't even dream a save percentage that impressive. It's looking more and more like the team that drafted Rask 21st overall in the 2005 draft - behind guys like Benoit Pouliot (4th overall), Glibert Brule (6th overall), Brian Lee (9th overall), Marek Zagrapan (13th overall), Sasha Pokulok (14th overall), Ryan O'Marra (15th overall), Alex Bourret (16th overall), Ryan Parent (18th overall), Jakuk Kindl (19th overall), and Kenndal McArdle (20th overall) - got a steal. Hey, Pat Quinn, pass the scotch.

12. It's amazing how quickly some of my fellow Leafs fans forget that Jason Blake had the second-best season of his career in 2008/2009. His career.

13. I wonder what the money line is on whether Janet Napolitano will resign ...

14. I enjoy watching Nazem Kadri play, but Canada's first two games at the World Junior Tournament were boring to watch. It's not Team Canada's fault. What are they supposed to do, not score? This one falls on the tournament organizers.

15. The Toronto Raptors have played more games than just about every other team in the NBA, but their 15-17 record has them in playoff position. The 6th seed, to be exact. Seed number three? The Orlando Magic. Vince Carter. Perhaps it's because I'm a glutton for punishment, but I want this to happen.

16. Who's your starter - Jose Calderon or Jarrett Jack? I still have faith in Jose. Although the Jack signing, with Calderon injured again, might be more important, at this point, than the Hedo Turkoglu signing.

17. Cheers, and Happy New Year. Thanks for reading in 2009. You'll never fully understand my gratitude. Here's to 2010 ...

Phoenix

"I take [criticism] and use it as fuel. I'll be back."

- Vernon Wells

Who am I to doubt him? I believe in Vernon Wells. And I'll say this: if Vernon is booed on opening night, April 12, 2010, shame on you, Toronto.

Harry Leroy Halladay III is no longer a Toronto Blue Jay. Kyle Drabek, Brett Wallace, and Travis d'Arnaud are forever tied to his good name. Imagine: not only trading Halladay, but sending $6 million in cash to get it done. And that being a good sign. Heady times.

If you look to your right, you'll find a new poll. The banner up top, which Doc has been the focal point of since this blog began, now represents the past. Whether we honour Doc in our own little way, or move on and live in the present, bleak as it may be, is up to you. Just don't vote for Cito.

After the dust finally settled, I thought Jayson Stark put it best:

"[Toronto] had the best pitcher in baseball on their payroll for the past eight years -- and never played one postseason game. They were the wrong team in the wrong division in the wrong era. And none of that was Halladay's fault. But his time had come, and his time had gone. He wanted out. He wasn't going to stay. So the Blue Jays had no choice."

Life After Doc (AD). It has begun.

(Playoffs!!!1 In 2012.)

I'm not a machine ...

I certainly ran with that whole "I Believe In Vernon Wells" shtick. It was a grind; he took a ton of abuse this season. But I like to think I pulled it off. I never stopped believing. And Wells rewarded me: he hit .312 in September, the month that doesn't matter. Vernon's going to ride that average into the off-season, and into 2010. Next summer, he's going to earn all $12.5 million of his salary.

Okay, fine, maybe not all of it. But certainly three quarters of it.

My point is: I don't have the energy to believe in Vesa Toskala. And, frankly, I'd rather believe in Jonas Gustavsson.

At least Wells has a track record. A few successful seasons, Gold Glove awards, and a couple of All-Star selections to hang his very expensive coat on. Even, believe it or not, MVP votes.

Toskala's got nothing. I'm holding on to February 2009 and his .912 save percentage for dear life.

It was up to Toskala to make sure there was no goaltending controversy in Toronto this season. Four periods and an overtime later, he's already failed that test. An .800 save percentage? Sample size be damned, get out of the crease.

With Toskala taking home $4 million this season, and his trade value likely as low as it's ever been, it's hard to believe the Leafs gave up a first-round pick to acquire him. Actually, it's not, but you know what I mean.

San Jose sold high back in June 2007, a concept the Leafs are still trying to grasp. And that's where it gets tough for the current regime. Do you play Toskala, and hope he regains some of his mostly average form, in the hopes of getting something, anything, back in return for him? Or do you unleash The Monster (I've been sitting on that one for a while), and see what he can do?

I'd love for Brian Burke to be able to trade Toskala. Perhaps give Detroit a call. They did take Larry Murphy.

But Gustavsson's here on a one-year contract and, if he's the real deal, he needs the opportunity to showcase his talent. One legendary pre-season save later, I think we all agree that young Jonas can better Toskala's numbers. I mean, that save was out of control. And Jesus knows Vesa hasn't set the bar high enough.

If the Leafs are going to be unbearable to watch, which it seems they might, I'd rather it be Gustavsson being shelled than Toskala. Vesa's worth little to nothing to us now.

I could defend Vernon Wells because of his, and I use the term loosely, "glory days." Toskala has yet to see his own, and it's hard to believe there are any in his future.

UPDATE: Gustavsson has been emancipated. He'll be in goal tonight. It will be his first of many victories against the Ottawa Senators.

To Hell and (Hopefully) Back

"It's been another learning experience. They love you when you're doing well and hate you when you're doing bad. Come next year, if I'm hitting .320, people will love me but I'll never forget these last few months, that's for sure."

- Vernon Wells

V-Dub's darkest hour: 2007. A .245 batting average, .304 OBP, and wretched 85 OPS+. He's done his best to replicate those numbers in 2009; the similarities are eerie. Yet in an injury-shortened 2008, Wells responded with a 129 OPS+; the third-highest of his career. He's been down this road before. Some faith.

I trust that Wells will heed his own advice, and not forget these last few difficult, pain-staking, awful months. (Fuck off, Carlos Pena.) I trust he'll use them as motivation. Mark my words: Wells isn't finished.

It ain't V-Dub against the world. It's V-Dub and me against the world.

Some business: Thanks to our good friend The Ack, Aaron Hill's got a new nickname: Lighthouse Hill. For Aaron is undeniably the light amid the darkness.

Debauchery

If you don't know, now you know...

Vernon Wells, my hero, batted four times last night. Each time he walked up to the plate, I was on my feet, showering him with love and adulation, and urging those around me to do the same. For one night, Vernon Wells was loved. For one night, the Vernon Wells Hatred Advisory System was put away.

Two young Blue Jays fans, about three rows down from me, are today converts to the Church of Vernon Wells. Thanks to my exploits, they believe.

Vernon Wells heard me last night. There's no doubt about it.

And, on an aside, what the hell has happened to our Roy Halladay? My heart weeps.

Sweet Vernon Wells

What happened to the Vernon Wells that inspired Buck Canyon to rewrite and record the big tune above?

I miss that Vernon Wells.

As hope continues to fade, I continue to believe that in August and September Vernon Wells will rise up and deliver.

And, in honour of the return of All Your Base Are Belong To Rios, some Zero Wing. Enjoy ...

<

Finally ...

Yes. Vernon. Wells.

Last night marked the first time Wells homered and doubled in the same game this season. About bloody time, yo.

The performance was strong enough to send the Vernon Wells Hatred Advisory System spiralling down to ELEVATED. Keep the columns coming, Jerry Crasnick.

And how about Scott Richmond? What a Canadian ...

A goal worth $300 grand

Also falling in the "about bloody time" category, Pablo Vitti scored for Toronto FC. Seriously. Vitti. He scored. It's a fucking miracle.

Half the MLS season is through, and TFC sits a point out of first place in the East.

Yep: playoffs!1 ...

So ends the wait

It's NBA draft day. The folks at Raptors Republic, RaptorBlog, and Dino Nation Blog have got you covered.

I believe in Bryan Colangelo.

For all the wrong reasons

It's safe to say Jerry Crasnick does not believe in Vernon Wells.

If you haven't yet read Crasnick's inspired ESPN.com column on Toronto's beloved centre fielder, let me take you on a tour. And trust me, bring some Kleenex along for the ride. It's a tearjerker.

So saith Crasnick:

Since Opening Day 2007, Wells has a slugging percentage of .429 -- the same as Chris Duncan and Rickie Weeks. Among the players who are better: Melvin Mora, Kevin Kouzmanoff, Chris Snyder and Ronnie Belliard.

Chris Duncan makes $825 grand a season. Rickie Weeks, $2.45 million. Kouzmanoff, you ask? $432,400. Mora I know makes some coin, but I'm not even going to bother checking on Snyder and Belliard. I don't need the aggravation.

Over that same span, Wells has an on-base percentage of .317 -- the same as Jody Gerut and Brad Ausmus.

Seriously, Vernon, .317? Fuck. And it's always fun to see the star centre fielder compared to Gerut, who's batting an impressive .199 this season, and Ausmus, a 40-year-old backup catcher. Good times.

The money issue isn't going to abate anytime soon in Toronto. Wells' contract is heavily back-loaded, so the big financial hit is still to come for the Jays. He'll make $12.5 million in 2010, $23 million in 2011 and $21 million in each of the final three years of his deal.

This is where the Kleenex comes in handy.

Wells also has a full no-trade clause, and he'll be approaching age 36 when the contract winds down in 2014. Just imagine how he's going to feel when people say his money is standing in the way of Roy Halladay's signing a long-term deal in Toronto.

The Vernon Wells Hatred Advisory System would cease to exist as we know it if Wells ended up costing Toronto Doc. That scenario would essentially be Armageddon.

It's a depressing read. Wells' best season, 2003, was a long time ago. When some guy named Carlos Delgado, who hit 42 home runs and drove in 145 runs that year, was hitting behind V-Dub.

Well played, by Mr. Crasnick. I applaud his efforts. He did good; had me looking up Delgado's and Wells' 2003 situationals. But I believe in Vernon Wells. He's on a seven-game hitting streak. And I'm pot committed.

One more thing: playoffs!!!1

The Captain

Nick Leyva just tapped that ass. Literally. A pinch-hit, game-winning home run by Rod "The Bod" Barajas. In the city that hates him. That's why he's The Captain ...

Marco Scutaro stole second base. On a walk. You had to see it to believe it. At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter whether Scoots is deemed an all-star or not. We know he is one. Check that; he's the best shortstop in the American League ...

Jeremy Accardo has been freed. He took the red-eye out of Vegas - I think we've all done that - Wednesday night, and picked up the save Thursday afternoon. Impressive; that flight's a bitch. Welcome back ...

The Jays went 0-for-14 with the bases loaded against the Phillies (thanks MLBastian), and left town with a sweep. Exactly how The Cito drew it up, B.J Ryan in a one-run game in the 9th (the fuck?), and all ...

After a decent series, the Vernon Wells Hatred Advisory System has been downgraded to HIGH. We can't be on high alert forever. That would be too Dick Cheney-ish. And that was one helluva catch in centre field in the bottom of the 9th. Anyway, V-Dub is going yard in Washington. I'm taking bets ...

Dustin McGowan may never pitch again. Immsense sadness is there.

Hating the National League

Don't you just love it when a pitcher - I don't know, say Ricky Romero, or Scott Downs - who has no business hitting, and who probably doesn't want to hit, has to bat? Me too. It's so much fun; so exciting.

I love how National League enthusiasts continuously defend the asinine decision not to employ a designated hitter with the standard "there's more strategy" rebuttal.

Sure, there's more strategy. I get that. But in most cases, it doesn't take a genius of a manager to throw around the eighth hitter in a lineup to get to the pitcher. Even Buck Martinez can do that.

At the end of the day, pitchers can't hit. Period.

Last night, thanks to bullshit Interleague play, Scott Downs was injured running out a ground ball (x-rays were negative), and Ricky Romero struck out three times, leaving eight men on base.

They're pitchers. They should exclusively pitch, much like in the progressive, forward-thinking American League. Let the hitters hit.

I'm off the National League, huge ...

With the Blue Jays down 3-2 last night, guess who kicked off the 9th inning rally to tie the game? One Vernon Wells, with an infield single to the pitcher. It was his first hit in 21 at-bats. Darrin Fletcher, the greatest colour commentator ever, said it best: that's how all slumps end. Believe ...

If you're pissed off at Alex Rios for his boneheaded baserunning gaffe in the 8th inning, you should be equally pissed off at Nick Leyva. He fucked up, too. While that type of mistake happens in baseball, it seemingly happens too often to Alex Rios. (Richard Griffin is kind of upset about it.) There can't possibly be a better nickname for Rios than The Blissfully Oblivious Gazelle ...

Speaking of nicknames, I think it's official: Jason Frasor is the Sausage King of the bullpen. While I loved some of the suggestions - Bullpen Ninja, Hightower, Fire Hydrant - Sausage King was too good to pass up ...

It wasn't exactly a great performance, and he was bailed out by the aforementioned Sausage King, but B.J. Ryan is now working on six innings of scoreless relief. Believe in The Beej ...

I'd love to know what Cito Gaston said to Ricky Romero in a visit to the mound only three batters into last night's first inning. Whatever it was, it worked. The rendezvous was, my friends, the ultimate example of The Cito Effect ...

Keeping on Romero, he continues to shine. Of the eight American League rookie starting pitchers who've made at least eight starts and thrown at least 50 innings, Rick-Ro leads the way with a 3.73 ERA. His G/F ratio of 1.14 is second to only Baltimore's Brad Bergesen. Boners.

UPDATE: Brad Mills to start for Casey Janssen on Thursday. Serious boners.

Memory Lane

I've been rather quiet, I know. Roy Halladay going down to injury, followed by three consecutive losses at home to the Florida Marlins, will do that to an emotional, youngish lad like myself. Have I told you lately how much I hate Interleague play? Fuck.

There's also that Vernon Wells guy, adding to my misery. He continues to be a thorn - a HUGE thorn - in the side of all Blue Jays fans. Democracy might arrive in Iran before Wells becomes a productive hitter again.

Speaking of V-Dub, check out this great post from The Tao of Stieb: You'll Never Love Vernon Like You Loved Carlos. It's great, and The Tao is probably right. I miss King Carlos.

June was to be a crucial month. Ideally the month where the AL East, or at least the wild card, was won. Instead, the Jays are floundering; 5-and-7, with 12 games left against the National League, including six against the defending World Series champions. As if playing in the AL East wasn't hard enough.

Wells hasn't helped the cause. In fact, he's falling apart. In 42 June at-bats, Wells has four hits, for a whopping .095 batting average. His .170 OBP and .337 OPS make me want to assume the fetal position and have a good cry. Or have a drink. Many drinks. Wells is no longer batting fourth in The Cito's lineup, but he shouldn't be batting third, either. What happened to our Vernon?

There's been some chatter as to the optimal location in the lineup for Wells, with some even going as far as saying he should be at the top of the order. Not that Marco Scutaro hasn't been a revelation, but for the Jays to succeed (read: make the playoffs!!!1) they need production out of Wells. Any production.

With runners on base (131 at-bats), Wells is batting .198, and slugging .298. With runners in scoring position (74 at-bats) the numbers are even worse: a .149 batting average, and a .284 slugging percentage. Clearly, he's no RsBI machine.

While I shudder to think of Wells as a leadoff hitter, the numbers suggest I perhaps shouldn't be so afraid. According to the Worldwide Leader in Sports, when leading off an inning, in 62 at-bats, Wells is batting .306 with an .890 OPS. With nobody on base, in 125 at-bats, Wells is batting .288 with a .792 OPS.

I'm not sure how one justifies moving Scoots out of the leadoff spot, but I'm all for it if it means Vernon gets on track. Of course, this post is useless, because there's no way it happens. Not in Citocity.

All of a sudden, the Tampa Bay Rays are tied with Toronto for third place in the division. The Red Sox have jumped five games ahead, and the Yankees hold a three game advantage on the wild card. Sadness.

On my sullen walk to work this morning, Nas came through on the iPod. I, too, took a trip down memory lane, through the first 41 games of the season, when the Jays were 27-and-14, and the talk of the town. Those were good times.

One last thing: I believe in Vernon Wells. I have to.

Vernon Wells Hatred Advisory System

Check it out, we made The Globe and Mail:

A hearty tip of my Jays cap to G&M columnist Jeff Blair for the shout-out. He's one of the few out there who peruses the blogs, and that's a good thing.

And another thank you to my man The Blue Jay Hunter, who put together the five Vernon Wells Hatred Advisory System pictures. To decrease my workload here on the blog, Wells continues to do almost nothing at the plate, so we're still coming in at SEVERE, and have been for a while now. Thanks Vernon.

Mr. Blair doesn't believe in Vernon Wells. I, albeit reluctantly, still do.

Here's hoping V-Dub proves me right, starting tonight, deep in the heart of Texas (I love saying that) ...