If Joe Posnanski ruled the world ...

"You kind of took it for granted around the Yankees that there was always going to be baseball in October." 

- Whitey Ford

That's got to apply to their fans, the Yankees faithful, too. It has to. I'm 28 years old. The Toronto Blue Jays have played in the postseason five times in my lifetime, winning, of course, two World Series. And let's be honest: I was far too young in 1985 and 1989 to truly give a damn. Were I a Yankees fan, those numbers would be 15 and five, respectively. And let's not kid ourselves: 14 straight years of October baseball in the Bronx -- 1995 through 2008 -- would have made me the most insufferable Yankees fan of them all.

I bring all this up because of Joe Posnanski's latest blog post. If it were up to him, he'd do away with the wild card and go back to baseball's old format: "two divisions in each league, a championship series, then a World Series." Posnanski would also not "be opposed to getting rid of the playoffs altogether and just taking the best team from each league and going right to the World Series."

No playoffs. "Getting rid of the playoffs altogether." Imagine such a baseball world. Fear it. God help the Blue Jays if Posnanski's ever running the show.

In all seriousness, the Posnanski piece is a thoughtful one. He's right: this year's race to the top of the American League East wasn't a race at all. It was a joke. And in the end, as is usually the case, the Minnesota Twins were the punchline. Anyway, Posnanski understands that if the playoffs were shortened, the economics of the game would have to be changed. He also understands that it's not going to happen; that there's no looking back on the wild card now, yo. And that's a good thing, because I'm all for the idea to add another wild card into the mix, and have two wild card teams face off in a best of three -- not a best of one; baseball doesn't roll that way --to determine who moves on to play in the division series'. Hell, I hope the change is in effect for next season.

I used to think the baseball season was too long. A hundred and 62 games? Are you kidding me? Now I realize it's the perfect length. Every game matters. Ask the San Diego Padres. Adding another wild card team makes one through 162 matter even more. Is this interest self-serving, so the Blue Jays can one day qualify for the playoffs? Absolutely. Toronto needs all the help it can get to scale the mountain, and end their almost two-decades long drought. Other than "Toronto Maple Leafs" and "Toronto Blue Jays," the blog label I've used the most at Sports And The City is "I miss the god damn playoffs." Were I in charge, I think everyone might make the playoffs. One versus 30, two versus 29, and so on. Playoffs for everybody!

While we're talking about October baseball, how about Saturday night: Lincecum against Halladay. The Freak versus The Doctor. Quite possibly the apex of a pitching matchup in the playoffs. I can't wait. And I'm grateful, Baseball Gods. Thank you. 

The photograph above -- me in about 40 years -- comes to you from Getty Images, via Yahoo!

"BOWTISTA"

More proof that Toronto is indeed home to the finest women on the planet. And, yes, those ladies are card-carrying members of the Bautista Appreciation Society.

Fifty-one, and 52. What is there left to say? Hlja vzmnv qieourois lkfdjakf nghfyidt Jose Bautista lklkjadoue vcndml lkncxoue lkadnfnq iern Bautista. The man has officially left me speechless. Without speech, yo.

Sit back, and enjoy the show. With nine games left, that's all there is to do. And, like the ladies above, Bow to Bau.

Wait, there is someone who isn't mailing in posts, and who hasn't been left speechless by Jose Bautista. Read this, from The Southpaw. It's a brilliant example of how ridiculous it is that Bautista is not a part of the American League MVP discussion. I'll tell you this much: if Robinson Cano garners more AL MVP votes than Bautista ... shit, I don't know what I'll do. I need to think about it. I'll get back to you.

Image courtesy of -- who else, man? -- Reuters via daylife. 

Respect

I've yet to come down from my Jose Bautista high. If you have, watch this.

Which do you prefer: a 16-2 thrashing of the Boston Red Sox by the Blue Jays at Fenway Park, or a dramatic 3-2 victory over the New York Yankees at the ole Dome? Both contests certainly had their charm, and I enjoyed Toronto's Boston Massacre probably more than anyone, but if I had to pick one, I'd have to choose the events of Monday night. What an evening of baseball!1 I needed a cigarette after it was all said and done.

What didn't happen in that game? Ejections, a home plate umpire who couldn't discern the strikezone even as he crouched behind it, a benches clearing -- what shall we call it? -- brouhaha, and, of course, long-ball theatrics, and some showmanship, from Jose Bautista.

What's left to be said about Bautista that hasn't already been written? Forty home runs. A feat Carlos Delgado, the greatest Blue Jays slugger I've ever known, managed but three times in Toronto. But it wasn't that Bautista hit the 40-mark Monday night; it was the way he got there.

What I've enjoyed most about watching Bautista as the season has progressed is the confidence he's brought to the batter's box. As home run after home run began to stockpile, Bautista began, more and more, to believe in himself; to believe in his abilities. Now he steps up to the plate knowing -- believing -- he can take any pitcher out of the ballpark. And it was that confidence, and that swagger, that was on display last night for the New York Yankees, and the baseball world, to see.

Bautista has become a leader on the Blue Jays. The leader, perhaps. And if Bautista doesn't yet have your respect, he will demand it. And he will go out and get it. What I loved most about Bautista's comments post-game was the candor with which he delivered them. Unhappy with being sent to the mat by a high-and-tight fastball from Yankees rookie Ivan Nova, Bautista said he slowly made his way out to the mound in order to gauge the youngster's reaction. He was testing Nova. And Nova failed.

Proof of Bautista's elevation to slugger, and leader, was found in the reaction to the melee, by both the Yankees and Blue Jays. As Bautista crept to the mound, it was New York manager Joe Girardi who stepped in front of him and asked that his young pitcher's bravado be forgiven. Girardi could have gone to his pitcher; he chose to restrain Bautista. And as Girardi put his hands on Bautista, it was Jose Molina first on the scene for Toronto, grabbing Bautista away from the Yankees skipper, and walking him away from the scene.

Then there was the business of Bautista's 40th home run. A no-doubter, if there ever was one. Look, I'm all for guys playing the game the right way; for a slugger to hit a home run and act like he's done it, oh, you know, 39 times before. But Bautista had every right to enjoy that long ball more than any of the his previous 39, and I'm glad he did. Bautista was locked-in; focused. It was, as Parkes over at Drunk Jays Fans put it, "perhaps the greatest display by a hitter in a single at bat that I've ever seen." David Robertson paid dearly for Ivan Nova's mistake.

In the aftermath of the home run, more proof of Bautista's exalted status. If you watch the replays closely, as Bautista steps out of the dugout for his curtain call (yes!!!1), DeWayne Wise and Freddy Lewis are standing on the top step of the dugout, nodding their heads, and looking, it seems, straight at the Yankees dugout. It was as intense a moment I've witnessed all season; a sure sign that this Blue Jays team is tight-knit, and will not back down from anybody, no matter how many games they're behind in the standings.

Jose Bautista has single-handedly brought people back to the ballpark this season. He has single-handedly given people a reason to talk about the Toronto Blue Jays. Bautista has made it easier to swallow the terrible seasons Adam Lind and Aaron Hill are having. He's made it easy to not lose sleep over the fact that save for April and May, Vernon Wells has been awful, and is an absolutely insane choice to be batting cleanup. Bautista is the biggest part of why this season has been one of the most memorable in recent years, and a big part of why Toronto is buzzing about baseball. If you were at the game Monday night, or watching on television like I was, you could sense that there was indeed something different about it. Yankees fans certainly noticed. Their players did, too. Bautista is now enemy number one in their books, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Bautista will break George Bell's single-season Toronto record of 47 home runs. Bautista will hit 50. It's his summer. And I will not, goddamnit, let Damien Cox ruin it.

The Undercard

If Jose Bautista vs. David Robertson was Monday night's main event, Brandon Morrow vs. the New York Yankees was the undercard. Morrow's masterful performance was lost in the lights of The Jose Bautista Show, but it certainly did not go unnoticed.

It's not everyday a pitcher mows through the New York lineup, striking out 12 batters in six innings while only scattering four hits. Morrow put to rest any doubts about his arm, striking out the New York side on three separate occasions: in the 1st, 3rd, and 6th innings. When's the last time you saw that happen?

"Gotta At Least Ask The Question"

Thanks to the aforementioned Cox, everyone's favourite scribe, the Bautista-steroid rumours and allegations aren't going to disappear. The fact Jose got to 40 in the manner that he did against New York won't help. Brady Anderson's name was flying about on Twitter last night, let me tell you.

If Cox is so eager to "at least ask the question," I wonder, where was Cox last summer, when Aaron Hill, who'd never hit more than 17 home runs, and was coming off a concussion-riddled campaign that saw him hit two home runs in 55 games, swatted 36 home runs? Where was Cox when Adam Lind, who hit 11 home runs in 2007, and 9 home runs in 2008, hit 35 last season?

Roger Maris hit 16 home runs in 1959, and 39 in 1960. In 1961 he set the standard: 61 home runs. He'd never hit more than 33 in a season again. I guess he might have been on steroids, too.

Here are my questions: Why Bautista? Why now?

The bottom line: if Bautista is indeed using a super-steroid which isn't turning up in the drug tests he's taking, he needs to start sharing. With Lind, and Hill, and Wells. Because sharing is caring. And because lord only knows those guys could use the help.

Some good has, and will continue to, come out of this situation. It's rather apparent that even those that work with Cox don't seem to like him very much. He's been called out, through sarcastic blog posts and tweets, by his colleagues in his own newsroom, and those in other newsrooms. And while I've promised myself on many occasions to never read Cox again, I'm sticking to it this time. His Bautista piece was the last straw.

#TeamGriffin.

Image courtesy of daylife.

Stealing Home: Fighting baseball imperialism

I journeyed to the mothership of baseball's Evil Empire Sunday afternoon: new Yankee Stadium, in the South Bronx.

Read all about: how I fought, and failed, against baseball imperialism, my Mariano Rivera moment, and my brush with a "Bleacher Creature," at GlobeSports.com.

If you'd like to subscribe to Stealing Home's RSS feed, you can do so here. And you can keep up with my exploits on Twitter: @eyebleaf.

Thanks for reading.

Selfish

For the most selfish of reasons, I'm happy Roy Halladay didn't no-hit the New York Yankees last night. Actually, perhaps happy isn't the right word. Let's go with relieved. If it happened - if Ramiro Pena didn't hit that double to right field in the sixth inning - while I chose not to be there, I'm not sure what I would have done with myself. (Other than be deeper down a bottle than I've ever been before.) I think I might have died.

Mission Doc - to be in attendance for every Roy Halladay start at the SkyDome this season - hit the wall last night. I don't know if it was because the Toronto Blue Jays have crushed my soul with their recent play, or because Doc has looked remarkably average while not throwing his best pitch while on the mound. Probably a combination of both. Instead of being in attendance, I was live blogging the game for The Score and, by the fifth inning, I knew I'd made the wrong decision. Doc was rightfully punishing my apathy.

Don't get me wrong, I'd have loved to see Doc throw a perfect game, or a no-hitter. Lord knows he's talented enough to do it. Before each and every start he makes, the thought crosses my mind: this could be it. And through five innings Friday night, I thought Doc's destiny had arrived.

Have you ever seen Doc pitch better? It might have been his finest hour. Against the high octane New York Yankees, the best team in baseball, no less. First-pitch strikes; ground ball after ground ball; mind-blowing movement on his pitches; a bases loaded strikeout, looking, of Alex Rodriguez. I know I've said it before, but what a treat Harry Leroy III is to watch.

A complete game, one-hit shutout. Nine strikeouts. Only 111 pitches; 73 of them strikes. Thanks, Doc. I'll never question you again.

Luckily for me, yesterday's game didn't hit the four hour mark. Otherwise I'd have been worried about my erection.

Kevin "You're Such A Disease" Millar

Drunk Jays Fans' Stoeten was kind of pissed off that Cito Gaston had everyone's favourite Blue Jay Kevin Millar batting cleanup last night. I think we can all agree that it makes zero sense for Millar to be in that position, while Randy Ruiz sits on the bench. While I'm certainly not aboard the "Fire Cito" train my man Drew-LtB is riding, I understand the frustration.

Anyway, there's no point in extolling just how God-awful Millar truly is. I'm sure he's a fine human being, and a dear in the clubhouse, but he's useless on the baseball field. Make him a bench coach, if he's that fucking great to have around. But get him off the field.

Now that Mark Rzepczynski's been shut down, I selfishly propose that Millar take his spot in the rotation. If he does, all will be forgiven. I could use some motivation to watch this team. And I sure as hell could use the entertainment.

The Almighty Dollar

You have lost your God damn mind if you think I want to talk about the spanking the Blue Jays received at the hands of the Boston Red Sox. Toronto's one naughty baseball team, and Boston let them have it. It might have been the most difficult series to watch all season. When Roy Halladay looks as mortal as the rest of his teammates, you know it's bad. The Tao of Stieb is right; something's changed with Doc. It doesn't feel the same.

Suddenly the locals are nine games below .500. What hurts more is their 31-29 record in the friendly confines of dome. My heart weeps.

There's nothing left to do but look forward and, after the draft snafu, the thought of another season with an $80 million payroll in the AL East makes me sick to my stomach. The uncertainty surrounding the 2010 budget eats at my soul.

Here's a list of the 10 clubs who spend the most ducats in Major League Baseball, along with their record and where they stand on this glorious Friday morning, the 21st day of August:

1. New York Yankees $201,449,189 76-45 (.628) 1st place AL East
2. New York Mets $147,417,987 56-65 (.463) 4th place NL East
3. Chicago Cubs $134,809,000 61-58 (.513) 2nd place NL Central
4. Boston Red Sox* $121,745,999 69-51 (.575) 2nd place AL East
5. Detroit Tigers $115,085,145 64-56 (.533) 1st place AL Central
6. LA Angels $113,709,000 73-46 (.613) 1st place AL West
7. Philadelphia Phillies $113,309,000 69-49 (.585) 1st place NL East
8. Houston Astros $102,996,414 59-62 (.488) 3rd place NL Central
9. LA Dodgers $100,008,592 72-50 (.590) 1st place NL West
10. Seattle Mariners $98,904,166 62-59 (.512) 3rd place AL West

The Red Sox receive an asterisk because they employ a bunch of steroid using douchebags. And because if the playoffs (!!1) began today, they'd go to the dance as the Wild Card.

What does that list tell you? The New York Yankees are the best team in baseball. When you spend everyone into the mother fucking ground, and play home games in an amusement park, you should be. Their counterparts, the Metropolitans? Pray for them. They've been ravaged by injury. The Cubs are a mess. The BoSox should be able to hold off the $68,178,798 Texas Rangers for the Wild Card. (Although I certainly wouldn't mind if they don't.) The Tigers look like a playoff team; $115 million should be able to get it done in the AL Central. If you're a baseball fan in the greater Los Angeles area, life is grand. The Phillies are set to defend their title, while Houston and Seattle are spending too much money to be playing near .500 baseball.

The bottom line: five of baseball's six division leaders reside in the top 10 in payroll. The St. Louis Cardinals are the only exception, leading the NL Central by a whopping seven games with a payroll of $88,528,409. (The Cubs really are cursed.) Give the Red Sox the Wild Card, and six out of eight playoff teams are MLB's biggest spenders. The Colorado Rockies, playing .562 baseball, are your other exception, leading the NL Wild Card standings by two games while spending $74,800,000.

$80 million won't cut it. No way; not in the AL East. Until the Tampa Bay Rays can do it consistently, they're nothing but a one-hit wonder. While I'd love for the Jays to spend $120 million, as much as the Red Sox, I know it won't happen. So I'm willing to settle, and slot eighth on that list; $110 million. For the love of God, Rogers, make it happen.

(Payroll numbers courtesy of Report on Business Magazine)

Someday it'll all make sense ...

One day, I'll stop bitching about the AL East, and how it is the toughest division in baseball. Not today. But one day.

As my man Dean pointed out in the comments of my last post, with the Tampa Bay DEVIL Rays having won last night, to sweep a mini two-game set with the Boston Red Sox, the AL East is now home to three teams with 60 or more wins. The Yankees check in with 65, the Red Sox 62, and Tampa Bay 60.

Only one other American League team has hit the mark; the Los Angeles Angels (63). In the National League, three teams: the Los Angeles Dodgers (66), Philadelphia Phillies (60), and San Francisco Giants (60).

Three teams in the AL East. Four throughout the rest of Major League Baseball. Life is cruel. And home, the AL East, has been most unkind to Toronto this season, with the Jays having gone 12-24 against divisional opponents. All in all, it's amazing the Jays have won 51 games so far in 2009. (That's my way of saying J.P. Ricciardi has done a stand-up job with a payroll of only $80 million dollars.)

The Ultimate Flashback Friday

For one night, let's forget about this, another, clusterfuck of a season for our Toronto Blue Jays. Tomorrow night at the SkyDome, for no reason at all, because we don't need a reason, let's celebrate the 1992 and 1993 teams that ran the AL East; that did something truly special for the city of Toronto.

I'll be there. In my powder blue. Cheering wildly like I'm 10 and 11 years old again; like I was when Dave Winfield sent the ball down the left field line in 1992; like I was when Joe Carter's ball cleared the fence in 1993. Hell, I think I'm even going to hit up the autograph sessions.

Speaking of memories, I was actually talking to the boys about the '92 World Series, and Ed Sprague's 9th inning pinch-hit home run in game two vs. Atlanta. Looking back, what an absolutely monumental round tripper. The Jays had lost game one of the series, and were down 4-3 in game two, with only three outs to go. Cue the heroics. A walk to Derek Bell, and a bomb to left field by Sprague to silence the deep south. It came off of Braves closer Jeff Reardon who, according to the ever-trustworthy Wikipedia, was then baseball's all-time saves leader; 5-4 Toronto, the World Series tied at one, and heading to Canada for the first time ever in life. Huge.

Unfortunately, I can't embed Sprague's home run here on the blog, but you can watch it here. Take a minute to do so. Trust me, it'll give you goose bumps.

The salad days. Be there tomorrow night to relive them.

Go Jays.

UPDATE: My man Johnny G mentioned the "Trenches" in the comments. I loved that shit. Sprague, Bell, and Turner Ward. Rudeys, all three of them. I did a quick search, and found this gem from the SI vault:

Sprague didn't play much after being called up—he had only 47 at bats—but he and two other Blue Jay reserves, outfielders Turner Ward and Derek Bell, started something called the Trenches, a silly little rally routine that has enlivened the Toronto bench. They lay a towel labeled TRENCHES on the top step of the dugout, near the bat rack. Bell, the loader, pulls out a bat belonging to a Blue Jay teammate who's about to hit. He passes the bat to Sprague, the exchanger. As the batter comes to the plate, the bat is handed to Ward, the shooter, who fires off an imaginary volley at the opposing pitcher. "If we need a big homer, like tonight," Ward said Sunday night, "I turn the bat around and make it a bazooka." The imaginary warfare may seem juvenile, but when one of the soldiers has to come into a game, his place is often taken by Toronto's 41-year-old star, Dave Winfield. "He's our commander in chief," says Sprague. As so often happens in battle, it was the guys in the trenches who won Game 2.

Makes you love Winfield even more, doesn't it?

Trenches!1

A Fractured Support System

Since returning from the disabled list on June 29th, Roy Halladay's won a single game. Why? No, certainly not because of the trade rumours. That's ridiculous. Doc's an incredibly well-paid athlete; that shit comes with the territory. Harry Leroy can't get into the victory column because the Kevin Millar batting cleanup led Toronto Blue Jays can't be bothered to give him any God damn run support.

June 29th vs. Tampa Bay: zero runs. Doc departed after six innings; the Jays struck for their only run of the game in the 8th inning.

July 4th at New York: five runs. Clearly, that's about as good as it gets for Halladay.

July 9th at Tampa Bay: two runs.

July 19th vs. Boston: three runs. A masterful Halladay performance in a 3-1 win.

July 24th vs. Tampa Bay: two runs. Garzafied.

July 29th at Seattle: two runs. Toronto was two-hit over seven by Ryan fucking Rowland-Smith.

Yesterday, August 4th, vs. New York: three runs. The Jays left eight runners on base last night. Individually, 16. While Doc threw another complete game. For shame.

That's seven games, and 17 runs; an average of 2.43 runs when Doc's been on the mound. In other words: absolutely pathetic. What breaks my heart: six of those seven starts have come against Tampa Bay, New York, and Boston. Halladay deserves more. Halladay deserves better.

It's during moments of weakness such as this one that I begin to wonder about 2010. Sure, Toronto can boast a rotation of Halladay, Ricky Romero, Shaun Marcum, and any combination of Brett Cecil, Scott Richmond, Mark Rzepczynski, and Jesse Litsch. Who knows, maybe even Dustin McGowan. But no rotation will make up for the fact that this team just can't get it done offensively in the AL East. I'm looking right at you, Vernon Wells. And, please, J.P. Ricciardi, get Millar the fuck off my favourite team.

The Best in the Business

If you had to ask me to choose between The Globe and Mail's Jeff Blair and SI's Tom Verducci, I couldn't do it. Both of them know their baseball. And both of them just "get it."

Saith Verducci, from a must-read piece about the lunatics who think the Jays were "losers" at the trade deadline because Ricciardi didn't pull the trigger on a Halladay trade:

"So what did people expect? That the Blue Jays should lower their asking price on the best pitcher in baseball when they didn't have to move him in the first place? Would compromising when they didn't have to do so put them in the 'winners' category? Ownership really didn't want to dump such a popular franchise player, anyway."

There's more. Please use it freely as ammunition against the Ricciardi bashers (especially: Joanna):

"Toronto is not Cleveland, with its budget problems, Pittsburgh, with an organizational model that has been a complete failure, Kansas City, which is awful but still wastes money on second-tier journeymen who don't know how to win, or San Diego, which will check out of the contending business for the next couple of years until its farm system improves. Toronto's problem is that it is a good team in the wrong division. 'Good isn't enough,' Ricciardi said. 'You have to be great.' The Blue Jays have won between 83 and 88 games seven times in the previous 11 years, have a winning record in that span with more wins than the Cubs, Diamondbacks and a dozen other teams -- and still didn't sniff the postseason. Eight National League teams made the playoffs in that time with 88 or fewer wins."

Nope, playing in the AL East has nothing - nothing at all - to do with the fact the Jays haven't played October baseball since 1993. And keep calling it an "excuse." It's not. It can't be. It's reality.

Here's some Blair. Just the goods, and no bullshit, as per the usual:

"Call up Travis Snider. Ship out Kevin Millar. Do something. Never mind cowboy up. I’d rather see cowboy out. I mean, manager Cito Gaston announced an open audition for the cleanup spot before Tuesday night’s game, and it’s not even mid-August. How does that happen in the American League East, anyhow?"

Cito. He's a stubborn, stupid, silly man.

One more link. I'm not happy about it, but thanks to Drew - LtB's most recent post over at the always resourceful Ghostrunner on First, I will cease mercilessly hating on Rod The Bod Barajas. But that .288 on-base percentage is still disgusting.

Evil Empires

All things being equal, if both the Boston Red Sox and New York Yankees made the best, and essentially the same (solid young pitcher and prospects), offer for Roy Halladay, where would you prefer J.P. Ricciardi trade him?

It's a no-brainer over here: New York. Start spreading the news.

I'd rather see Doc don pinstripes, and be reunited with his soulmate A.J. Burnett, than be embraced by Red Sox Nation as one of their own. That's how much I hate Boston.

What about you?

The BoSox have, though, upped their offer for Halladay: Clay Buchholz, one of Justin Masterson or Michael Bowden, Lars Anderson, and a third minor leaguer of lesser value.

The offer still isn't good enough. No offer will ever be good enough in return for Harry Leroy III.

Buchholz circa 2008 frightens me; 93 hits in 76 innings, 57 earned runs, 1.76 WHIP, 6.75 ERA, .299 opponents batting average, and, worst of all, an ERA+ of only 68. Sure, he's young, but, to put it succinctly, fuck that.

And Theo Epstein can keep both Masterson and Bowden. It's Daniel Bard, who this year has struck out 64 batters in 49.2 innings in AA-ball, 29 batters in 16 innings in Triple-A Pawtucket, and 36 batters in 28.2 innings with Boston, who has to be Toronto bound for this deal to even be considered. (Bard's 212 ERA+ this season is filthy, and he's yet to allow a home run.) Bowden's numbers are decent - his WHIP down on the farm is impressive - but Bard is the better prospect.

As for Lars Anderson, while he's said to have All-Star upside, his .735 OPS in AA-Portland doesn't knock my socks off.

It's simple: if Epstein won't even talk top prospects Bard, Ryan Westmoreland, and Casey Kelly, well, good luck the rest of the way with Brad Penny and John Smoltz.

Don't you dare settle, J.P.

Speaking of Doc, I'll be live blogging today's 4:30PM series finale between Seattle and Toronto over at The Score. If Halladay's still a Blue Jay come game time, it will be his last "last start" as a member of the team, so be sure to join me. (I'm fully anticipating Doc being removed from the lineup a half hour before game time, his Jays career over, and a trade imminent. That's when shit is going to get real.)

Hopefully Doc will indeed be on the mound, and help his mates rebound from yet another heartbreaking loss. Building on the theme that was most prevalent last night amongst The Monkey Army over at Drunk Jays Fans, it's hard to fathom just how unlucky the 2009 Blue Jays have been; 19 one-run losses and 10 extra innings losses. Both, unfortunately, tops in the league.

The last time the Jays were victorious in extra innings was way the fuck back on May 2, when they were in first place in the AL East. Since then, they've dropped nine in a row in extras. The DJF crew - the normal ones, not the angry, psychotic douchebags - are right: this team would be a lot easier to deal with if it just flat out stunk.

Once again, all we're left with is "what if ..."

Flightless

Back in 1999, the Toronto Blue Jays canned B.J. Birdie. (Is it "Birdie," or "Birdy"?) Ten years later, it seems the same fate awaits another flightless bird, B.J. Ryan.

Seriously, I can't imagine it's worth it for J.P. Ricciardi to use valuable Rogers daytime minutes to call another team about The Beej. He'd be laughed off the phone, time and time again.

As general manager of the Blue Jays, I think Ricciardi has done more good than bad over the years. But in hindsight, which is easy for me to use, pantless from my mother's basement, Ryan's signing might go down as J.P.'s worst.

It was tough to watch Ryan, the $12 million dollar once-dominant closer, come into yesterday's game in the fourth inning, the first man out of the bullpen to try and hold an 8-to-7 lead against New York. He failed. Miserably. Of the five relievers who tossed four-and-a-third innings of relief on Sunday, Ryan was the only one to allow any runs. The fact he walked two Yankees, his eleventh and twelfth walks in only nine innings pitched on the road (a 2.89 WHIP away from the SkyDome, egads!), was the tipping point.

The Beej is finished, yo.

I don't envy the person who had to give B.J. Birdie his walking papers back in the day. It couldn't have been easy. Ryan's remaining salary be damned, someone's eventually going to have to make the tough call on him, too. Delegate to your heart's content, Ricciardi.

The Yankees have had their way with the Jays, and Toronto's now seven games back. Worse yet, Cito's boys are only one game above .500. A game above water. Hard to believe, really. I thought all that .500 talk left town with John Gibbons.

After starting the season 27-and-14, the Jays have gone 15-and-27. From the highest high, to the lowest low, to right back where they started.

Half a season remains, and there's no reason to believe the Jays can't win 27 of their next 41 games. (Actually, that's not the case; there are a bevy of reasons, but fuck discussing them.) Sure, they'll have to do it against better quality opposition, using less experienced pitchers, and with a completely useless David Dellucci in left field, but that doesn't mean it can't be done.

UPDATE: Oh yeah, the All-Star game. Doc and Aaron Hill are on their way. That's not news. We knew they were all-stars a month and a half ago. Scott Rolen and Marco Scutaro, while not officially, are all-stars in my books. Same with Scott Downs. And vote for Adam Lind. He'd vote for you.

Hanging on to hope ...

Well, fuck. If those standings don't have you reaching for a drink, your affinity with sobriety is a lot stronger than mine.

Roy Halladay went into Saturday's ball game in the Bronx having allowed seven home runs in 109 innings. In seven innings of work yesterday afternoon, he surrendered three long balls; one a fly ball to Johnny Damon. Nope, nothing strange about new Yankee Stadium. Nothing at all. (Fuck the Yankees, and their new ballpark.)

If I haven't yet developed a full-blown complex from supporting the Blue Jays while they play in the AL East, it can't be far off. I'm not sure how much more I can take - the Yankees and Red Sox and their deep pockets, and the Tampa Bay Rays finally doing what it took the Pittsburgh Penguins only a few years to do: tank their way to success. It's frustrating. Like you wouldn't believe.

Don't look now, but it's those devilish Rays with the division's best run differential (+78). The Jays led in that respect during the salad days of April and early May. All of a sudden, the Jays are seven games behind Boston, and six behind the Yankees for the Wild Card. If I could take solace in the fact that Toronto is better than Baltimore, I would. But that's like being proud of yourself for finishing the race ahead of the one-legged kid. Where's the God damn pride in that?

Now that divisional play has begun in earnest, I can't help but look back to June. Twelve wins and 14 losses; simply not good enough. To compound matters, Scott Richmond just hit the disabled list. It's unbelievable, really, the luck, or lack thereof, when it comes to Toronto's pitching staff. As if playing in the AL East wasn't hard enough. Fuck off, baseball Gods.

Oh yeah, Vernon Wells. As you know by now, The Cito finally - no, mercifully - moved him down in the lineup to the six-hole, and he's responded. Well, kind of. Three-for-eight, with two doubles, two runs scored, a walk, a home run, and one RBI. We remain at SEVERE on the Hatred Advisory System. Until Wells starts helping this team win some games, it's where we shall remain. Hard to believe that on July 5th, Wells and Alex Rios are batting sixth and seventh in the Blue Jays lineup. Overpaid idiots, the both of them. I can only hope they're taking notes when Scott Hoss Rolen, he of the 21-game hitting streak, steps up to the plate.

All that being said, there's still half a season to play. After the Jays took the loss in extras on Saturday, I immersed myself in Rohinton Mistry's A Fine Balance. I'm coming down the home stretch of the massive 748-page book, and came across a most apt quote on page 686:

"There is always hope - hope enough to balance our despair. Or we would be lost."

There is much baseball to be played. Fuck the AL East; when Toronto does make the playoffs, having overcome the odds will make it that much sweeter. Believe.

If not, there's always 2010. Am I rite?

The sky is falling

The Blue Jays have lost two in a row to the evil Boston Red Sox. A fickle fanbase is questioning what it all means on Twitter ...

"Think the Blue Jays are learning what the AL East is all about." - dfs78

Ah, the AL East. You mean the division the Jays went 37-35 against in 2008, 36-36 against in 2007, 43-31 against in 2006, and 38-36 against in 2005. Right, that division.

"My oh my - are we seeing the dismantling of the Jays dreams tonight? I wonder if the charade is up." - chrisfromcanada

The Jays are 78-53 since Cito took over, and are still the best team in the American League, but two losses to the Red Sox, at Fenway Park, in unfathomable succession, means the "charade" might be up. Sounds about right.

"jays, i love that you are showing faith in your rookie pitchers, but maybe it's time for a legit #2 arm? for reals. for really reals." - berlap

"For really reals"? The fuck? 

"After tonight's game the Jays will be 1-4 against non-BAL opponents in the AL East; go away, frauds." - JamalG

Against non-BAL opponents in the AL East, Jamal's beloved Yankees are 4-9. In his magical world, that makes New York legit.

"watching the beginning of the end of the blue jays' season." - jbyck

You know what, you're absolutely right. Those first 41 games? Fuck 'em. It's over.

"jays playing real teams = back to reality. Enjoy the freefall!" - scottph

As opposed to all those fake teams Toronto played through the first month and a half of the season. 

"Jays trip to Boston = Rihanna's trip to the Grammy's." - scwatts

Hilarious.

"The last two series vs. the Yanks/Sox have shown the Jays what happens when you play real teams...the wheels are falling off." - justingaynor

Forget about the wheels, I must really have missed the memo about all these fake MLB teams Yankees and Red Sox fans are talking about. Who knew?

"Jay's are front runners. they are collapsing faster then the economy last june." - FRwritings

Never mind the [sic]'s (RIP Fire Joe Morgan). The Jays' two-game losing streak against Boston, in May, at Fenway Park, where Boston has won more than 48 games every season dating back to 2003, is clearly on par, if not more dramatic in scope, with the collapse of the U.S. and global economy. A sticker for FRwritings for staying on top of current affairs.

Two games later, and the white towels of surrender are being readied. When it comes to the Jays, Toronto's got a complex, "for really reals." 

Look, it was an important lesson learned by Brett Cecil, and he'll be a better pitcher because of it. It's a long, long season; ups and downs. Have a drink, and enjoy the fucking ride. 

Remember, Cito's Jays have yet to lose three in a row. Even if they do, they're still heading to Atlanta atop the standings.

Those obnoxious, annoying Blue Jays fans

I like Jeff Passan. Enjoy his work. Been reading him ever since he joined Yahoo! Sports. But Passan doesn't feel the same way about me, or us. He thinks we - Toronto Blue Jays fans - are obnoxious, annoying homers.

About a month ago, while travelling the internetz, I stopped by a live chat being run by the fine folks at Big League Stew. Cliff Lee was the topic of conversation at the time and, as I involuntarily do whenever I read or hear Cliff Lee's name, I commented that Roy Halladay, and certainly not Lee, should have won the 2008 American League Cy Young Award.

That was enough to set off Passan. Here's what he had to say:

"I have a feeling that if the Blue Jays are ever good again, they're going to give Red Sox fans a run for their obnoxious money.

"I love Roy Halladay -- picked him to win the CY this year -- but come on. How can you make that argument?

"I'm just saying: Toronto fans are tremendously parochial, to the point that it becomes annoying. They are funny and cool and I'd definitely love to drink a beer with them, but their homerism is way over the top."

It's been a few weeks - I am arguably the world's greatest procrastinator - but allow me to respond.

Well, Mr. Passan, the Jays are good again. And while I'm the last person in Toronto to argue a charge of over-the-top homerism, to say that Blue Jays fans could ever be as obnoxious as the Massholes is flat-out fucking ridiculous. That's a whole other level of douchebaggery.

Oh yeah, Halladay. Look, Doc faced the Boston Red Sox, Tampa Bay DEVIL Rays, and New York Yankees a combined 16 times last season. Six starts against New York, and five each against Boston and Tampa Bay. Cliff Lee faced those three teams four times. One start against Boston, one against New York, and two versus Tampa Bay. The only team Lee faced five times last season: the 75-87 Kansas City Royals.

I know the schedule is largely to blame, but that's why I can make that argument, Mr. Passan. Because that disparity has got to mean something.

But it's all good. The beer's on me, Passan. Enough about 2008, and Cliff Lee.

How about Brian Tallet? The much maligned J.P. Ricciardi has somehow put together an embarrassment of riches on the mound for the Blue Jays, and you probably won't find him getting much credit for it.

With guys like Casey Janssen and Ricky Romero set to return in a week or so, and Jesse Litsch not far behind, questions abound. Such as: how the fuck do you return Tallet to the bullpen?

And while I hate to overlook the second edition of Cecil Time this afternoon, Tuesday night looms large: Roy Halladay vs. A.J. Burnett. 

Be there. I need not say more.

UPDATE: I lied, I do have more to say. As bklades pointed out in the comments, and I fully agree with him, when it comes to Jays fans, pessimism reigns supreme.  Most casual fans are just waiting for this Jays team to struggle so they can say "I told you so!" Some advice: if you're going to depart the bandwagon, do so quietly. And use the door at the back, assholes.

No ...

I don't like this. 

Eight innings pitched; three hits and two earned runs allowed; one walk; nine strikeouts; and a no-hitter into the 7th.

"Everyone in the world thinks about it ... I'm not going to lie and say I wasn't. I had good movement on everything. It just wasn't meant to be."

       - Allan James Burnett

"A.J. really stepped up ... We needed a big performance out of someone with a short bullpen, and A.J. likes that."

       - Joe Girardi

No. I don't like this one bit. Hit the disabled list already, Allan James ...

Who gives a shit?

Anyone else sick to death of reading, hearing and talking about Alex Rodriguez's steroid revelation?

Fuck. Enough already. What exactly is so surprising? The guy has always been a $250 million dollar douchebag. Now he's a steroid-using $250 million dollar douchebag. It makes sense. Deal with it, and let's move on.

Honestly, I don't give a damn who it is; a baseball player testing positive for steroids is not news.

Did I mention that A-Rod's a douche?

Yes? Good.

*Update*

He admitted it. After lying about it for, what, more than a year? What an idiot. Ladies and gentlmen, give it up for Alex Rodriguez, douchebag extraordinaire. Now, get over it.

God Damn Yankees

My 82-year-old Dadima (Grandmother), out here an ocean away in Delhi, was not in the least bit surprised that the New York Yankees landed Mark Teixeira.

When I told her the news, she looked at me with a blank expression on her face and, in her limited English, said, "You are very nice boy. Very good boy. I like you."

Obviously, she was talking about me, and not Mark Teixeira, the latest baseball player to strike it rich thanks to the God damn Yankees join the dark side.

Here's an excerpt from a Gordon Edes column over at Yahoo! Sports that should make you lose your lunch:

"The Yankees will have nine players being paid $13 million or more in 2009. Those nine players - Teixeira, C.C. Sabathia, Alex Rodriguez, Derek Jeter, A.J. Burnett, Jorge Posada, Mariano Rivera, Hideki Matsui and Johnny Damon - combine for $159.1 million, more than the payroll of any other team."

Nine guys. Who account for more payroll than any other team in baseball. Hell, probably in professional sports. That right there, my friends, is why it is my duty to hate the New York Yankees. And make no mistake about it, it is your duty as well.

Would I like an owner that spends, spends, spends, spends, spends, spends, spends, spends, spends and spends some more? Of course. I'm sure you would too. But the reality is that the Toronto Blue Jays, and 28 other teams, don't, and can't, operate that way. And that's why I hate the Yankees.

The hatred, you see, stems from jealousy. And there is no cure. All I can do is continue to bitch about New York's free-spending ways.

You know, I've learned a lot in my short, two-week sojourn on the Indian subcontinent. There's nothing quite like spending time with family. One moment, in particular, stands out: my Dadima told me she hates the Yankees, too.

What A Surprise...

You know the memo about that whole "global financial crisis" thing? The New York Yankees didn't get it. Their fax machine is broken, and they haven't checked their email in forever.

To the surprise of absolutely no one, everyone's favourite former Toronto Blue Jay A.J. Burnett is Bronx bound. Five years, $82.5 million. As David Putty would say: "yeah that's right."

In three days, the Yankees have shelled out $243.5 million dollars for Burnett and Fat. Fat. Sabathia. 

That's a quarter of a billion dollars. That's fucked up. But business as usual in New York, I guess.

I ain't mad at A.J. It was probably best that we go our separate ways, and I said goodbye a long time ago. And let's not kid ourselves, he ain't no fool. You and I both know we have taken that deal as well. A.J. had to follow the money, and I'm happy for him. The Burnett clan will be taken care of for many a generation.

It's the Yankees who are foolish. It's the Yankees who deserve to be punished by the baseball Gods for offering an injury plagued soon-to-be 32-year-old a five-year deal.

It's nothing personal, and I wish A.J. all the luck in the world, but I want him to be an even bigger bust than Carl Pavano was in pinstripes. I want Burnett to struggle. Badly. I want the bright lights of New York to mess with him. I want A.J. to hit that disabled list, and hit it early and often.

As I watch the Yankees spend crazy ducats while the Jays shop at the free agency thrift store (see Clement, Matt) and shed payroll, I'm reminded why I hate New York, the entire Steinbrenner family (yes, even the grandchildren), and everything the Yankees stand for.

I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to Roy Halladay vs. A.J. Burnett, Blue Jays vs. Yankees, at the Rogers Centre next summer. I'm definitely going to be there. And I'll probably be booing. Here's hoping Doc teaches A.J. a lesson or two, or ten.

I think Stoeten of Drunk Jays Fans stardom said it best about our friends down in the Big Apple, and pardon the language:

"Honestly...Yankees, Yankee fans, friends and relatives of Yankees fans, please, for the love of fucking Christ, go fuck the fucking fuck out of your fucking selves."

Amen, Stoeten, you crazy mother sucker. Can't anybody put it any better than that. 

See you on the other side, Allan James.

It's Official: I'm Depressed

The onset of winter has me, once again, questioning why I live in this God forsaken city. I hate when Mother Nature whores it up tundra style in fucking November. To add to my malaise, it's official: Manny Ramirez will not become a Toronto Blue Jay this winter.

The dream is dead. J.P. Ricciardi killed it. I know, it was the longest of long shots to begin with and, deep down, I knew it wasn't going to happen. But, well, still. I could have done without J.P. flat out saying "We won't be involved with Manny," and completely ruining my Thursday afternoon. Asshole.

Alright, so Manny won't be donning powder blue. But J.P. will sign one of Jason Giambi or Milton Bradley instead, right?

Apparently not. We're not going after those guys either. 

This is where I get confused. I hate Jason Giambi. With a passion. I hate his steroid-abusing ways, and the fact that he only came clean after he got caught. I hate the stache. I hate that he was a Yankee. But I'd welcome him to Toronto with open arms. That's how much I want his bat (that's what she said).

The same goes for Milton Bradley. The man is a lunatic, but I can't say no to that 2008 163 OPS+.

J.P. Ricciardi certainly has more will power than I.

OK, the kids, Adam Lind and Travis Snider, will play left field and DH. That's cool. All part of the plan. J.P. will use the money he's got at his disposal and plug some holes in the rotation via free agency. Brad Penny, perhaps. Or Derek Lowe. A flier on Jon Garland. Maybe even Pedro Martinez, or Randy Johnson.

Right?

Wrong. None of those guys are on J.P.'s radar. Nobody is. Clearly J.P.'s radar is broken because he's got to be shitting me when he says that he, the Jays, and, by cause and effect, me, are going to be sitting out the free agent frenzy. 

There is one, uh, minor exception. A contract, on lovely Blue Jays stationary and worth $54 million over four years, is currently lost amongst more lucrative offers atop A.J. Burnett's agent's desk. But I simply can't imagine Burnett signing on Toronto's dotted line. He'll take more money, and a chance to play with Derek Jeter, and Mariano Rivera, in the new Yankee Stadium. No hard feelings. I'd take the fattest cheque, too.

I do truly wish for Burnett to stay in the AL East. I want the Jays to face him. A lot. I want the Jays to beat him. I want Roy Halladay to beat him. Ideally, I want him to watch Toronto make the playoffs. And I want to watch him inevitably hit the disabled list (seriously, no hard feelings).

If it were up to me, I'd take all that A.J. money, plus some more, pack it in suitcases, and show up at ManRam's door. Make like Jerry Maguire, you know, and show him the money. Make him an offer he can't refuse.

J.P.'s got to do something. A winter watching on the sidelines is not acceptable, and will not be tolerated. It just might make Richard Griffin's head explode. 

For once, I find myself hoping that Ricciardi is actually lying this time.

Halladay fought the good fight, and won...

Yesterday, I sang the praises of A.J. Burnett and how wonderful he was against the Red Sox and Yankees this season. Now, it's time to lavish praise on his brother in arms in the fight against the evil empires, Roy Halladay.

Really, what can I say about Roy Halladay that I haven't said already? He is the greatest pitcher I've ever known. Doc picked up his 20th win of the season last night and when it was all said and done, I wanted to take him in my arms, much like how A.J. did (pictured, yo).

What a performance from Halladay this season. Simply outstanding. He reached the 20 win plateau for the second time in his career and did it with another complete game gem last night, throwing only 96 pitches. For the good Doctor, anything less than a complete game masterpiece would have been uncivilized. It was his ninth complete game of the season and if that statistic doesn't blow you away, it should. It really should. No, seriously, it should.

Halladay finishes the season with a 20-11 record, 2.78 ERA, 1.05 WHIP, 206 strikeouts, and an opponents batting average of .237. He walked only 39 batters all season. In 246 innings. If that statistic doesn't blow you away, it should. It really should. No, seriously, it should.

To put things in perspective, because that's what I do around here, let's compare Halladay's 2008 season with his 2003 Cy Young Award winning campaign:

2003:

22-7 W/L, 36 games started, 266 innings pitched, 96 earned runs, 26 home runs, 32 walks, 204 strikeouts, 3.25 ERA, 1.05 WHIP, .247 opponents batting average, nine complete games and two shutouts.

2008:

20-11 W/L, 33 games started, 246 innings pitched, 76 earned runs, 18 home runs, 39 walks, 206 strikeouts, 2.78 ERA, 1.05 WHIP, .237 BAA, nine complete games and two shutouts.

You know, it's hard to argue against Cliff Lee winning the Cy Young. He's had a phenomenal season. So, here's what I propose: they split the award. Co-winners, know what I'm saying? If Lee is deserving of the award, and he is, equally so is our Doc. It's been well documented that Halladay has faced stiffer competition and, well, just go back a paragraph and have another look at Doc's 2008 stats. He shaved almost half a run off his ERA from 2003, and threw nine complete games to Lee's four. Nine complete games! Nine! I'm truly starting to believe The Ack over at The Tao of Stieb when he says that Halladay is a pitching machine from the future, sent back in time to save all of humanity.

Speaking of that stiffer competition, check out the layout below to see how Doc fared against the evil empires this season:

Doc vs NYY in 2008 (including last night's bonerific start)

Games started: 6

W/L: 5-1

Innings pitched: 45

ERA: 2.40

WHIP: 0.91

Hits: 34

Runs: 12

Earned Runs: 12

Walks: 7

Strikeouts: 31

Opponents Batting Average: .211

Pretty impressive, eh? Two of those starts were complete games, and one was a two-hit shutout which I had the pleasure of being in the ball park for.

Halladay vs Boston Red Sox in 2008

Games started: 5

W/L: 3-2

Innings pitched: 38.2

ERA: 2.56

WHIP: 0.98

Hits: 32

Runs: 12

Earned runs: 11

Walks: 6

Strikeouts: 24

Opponents Batting Average: .224

Doc threw two complete games against the Sox, both in Fenway Park. One of them was actually a 1-0 loss; damn flaccid offence. Actually, of the nine complete games Doc tossed, three of them were losses. The three losses came during a stretch of four consecutive complete games Halladay threw in April. Yep, you read that right: four consecutive complete games. If that statistic doesn't blow you away, it should. It really should. No, seriously, it should.

I think I began to truly appreciate Doc's greatness this year. He is a superstar in every sense of the word, and I'm a better person for having had the chance to watch him, live and on the tube, every five days. When I grow up, I want to be just like Harry Leroy Halladay III.

Doc, along with his best friend forever A.J. Burnett, fought the good fight against the evil empires. And although we're again on the outside looking in at the post-season, my boys, Doc and A.J., they triumphed over evil. For that, I salute them, especially Doc. A.J. is who he is today because of Roy Halladay.

Thanks Doc, for one hell of a season.

Cito Gaston = The Man

It's official: Cito's staying. And I couldn't be happier. We're in for two more years, at least, of The Gastonian one, and I'm saying it now: he will lead us to the promised land  playoffs.

Financial details weren't released, but it doesn't matter. Cito's worth every penny. 

How does one celebrate the re-signing of the greatest coach in the history of the Toronto Blue Jays? By heading down to the Rogers Centre and watching Roy Halladay lay the smack down on the Bronx Bitches for win number 20 on the season, that's how.

Cito is the man. Let's add some more bling to his repertoire.