In praise of the doctor ...

No, not Roy Halladay. Not this (one) time.

I'm talking about Dr. James Andrews, of Birmingham, Alabama, doctor to the stars pitchers.

Dr. Andrews apparently has a monopoly on the burgeoning Tommy John surgery market, thanks in no small part to our Toronto Blue Jays, and up next is Jesse Litsch.

I can't say I'm surprised, so let's forget about Litsch for a second. Can J.P. Ricciardi sign Dr. Andrews? He might as well lock him up. Let the other, less experienced doctors work on the rest of baseball's broken pitchers. Hell, even throw in a no-trade clause, JFJ-style. There could be a press conference, where Dr. Andrews is presented with a jersey, and a cap. It'd be grand. The jersey would, of course, have "DR. ANDREWS" across the back.

Oh shut up, Brad Arnsberg haters. I don't want to hear it. Dr. Andrews has got to eat, too.

One day, in a ceremony at the Rogers Centre with the future president of the ball club (how's that search going, anyway?), the legendary Dr. Andrews will have his name, along with the final number of Tommy John surgeries he will have performed on Blue Jays players, rightfully honoured on the Blue Jays' Level of Excellence.

Inshallah, I will be there, on my feet in applause. Thank you, Dr. Andrews, for mending our wounded.

(See you in a bit, Jesse. Make sure you hit the treadmill.)

UPDATE: Here's Dr. Andrews' jersey. Although I have no idea how many TJ surgeries he's performed on Jays players, it looks pretty fly.

Musings:

At one time, it was Jesse Litsch. Then David Purcey (by default). Scott Richmond, for a bit. Maybe even Ricky Romero, just once. Now, the answer is unequivocal: Brian Tallet is the number two man behind Halladay. The Summer of Tallet, indeed ...

Jason Kapono for Reggie Evans. A post defender with a zeal for rebounding, for arguably the most one-dimensional player in the NBA. Rejoice! Although sadness is there, as this signals the end of the Pops Mensah-Bonsu era in Toronto. For shame ...

The MLB Draft happened. I didn't really care ...

The Toronto Maple Leafs have a new goaltending consultant coach: Francois Allaire. Now they just need a goalie ...

Garfoose! ...

Deep Thoughts: The Franchise

Travis Snider's two home runs moon shots are still on their way to Winnipeg. I'm sure my good friends Dave and The Ack will let me know when they arrive. The baseball world is beginning to take notice of Sniderman. You know what I love about him? His home run trot. Stay classy, young man ...

One through six in the order (Scutaro, Hill, Rios, Wells, Lind and Rolen), no Toronto Blue Jay is batting less than .300. That Cito Gaston guy can really put together a lineup, eh? ...

Speaking of Marco Scutaro, he leads the league in runs scored and can be the starting shortstop, and leadoff hitter, on my team any day of the week. Viva Scutaro. Viva Venuezela ...

B.J. Ryan threw 12 pitches yesterday; eleven for strikes. That's the B.J. we know. The B.J. we love. Nails? Nails! And I'm sure Brad Arnsberg had something to do with it. "In Arnsberg We Trust" ...

Kevin SLOWey certainly lived up to his name last night, didn't he? Prick ...

I know Jesse Litsch's injury is forearm related but, seriously, would it have killed him to come into camp pink and efficient, but a little less rotund? I'm already feeling like he took his opportunity in 2009 for granted ...

In last night's eighth inning, Scott Downs allowed a leadoff double, and followed with a wild pitch. With none out and a man on third base, he proceeded to strike out the side, like the uber set-up man he is. Did you enjoy his tiny display of emotion after the fact? I sure as hell did. I heart Snakeface. What a hero ...

The Jays are in first place. The Boston Red Sox are in the basement. You're damned right I'm enjoying this ...

Pennant ...

What was that, Bruce Arthur?

Far be it from me to point out when someone is wrong, considering I'm, uh, not right 98.2% of the time, but the National Post's Bruce Arthur rained all over my optimism/pennant parade with his column on Tuesday, so I've no choice but to let him have it.

Here's some of what Arthur wrote yesterday (my emphasis in bold):

"... Of course, it's like this every Opening Day, even in Toronto, when Roy Halladay is pitching in front of 48,000 fans, and first place in the American League East is not yet conceded. If you could imagine that a healthy Dustin McGowan was following Halladay tonight, and Shaun Marcum was going tomorrow, and more promising young arms would follow after that, then you would be a happy Blue Jays fan, indeed.

"Instead the rotation turns to butter for the rest of the week, and the crowds will probably melt along with it. As one long-time Jays observer put it, 'the worst part about tonight is tomorrow.'"

Well, Bruce, butter David Purcey most certainly is not.

Toronto's new number two starter was certainly up to the task last night. He went seven strong on 101 pitches, striking out five, and giving up three runs - two of them earned - on five hits and three walks.

Yeah, he erred in the 7th inning when he failed to hit catcher Rod Barajas on an intentional walk attempt (the fuck?), and then threw the ball into centre field after the fact, but Scott Rolen and Aaron Hill picked up their pitcher in the home half of the 8th. Because they are heroes. And that's what heroes do - hit home runs.

Speaking of Hill, if he stays healthy this season, it will soon sink in, if it hasn't already, just how significant his loss to injury last season truly was. It gets me all hot and bothered to see him back on the field, and back at the plate. Hill's special.

I know, I know, B.J. Ryan blew the save. Let's not talk about it. Not right now, at least. The Jays picked up the win. Wins in April matter.

Anyway, here's hoping Bruce Arthur shows Purcey some love in his column today. Something along the lines of "I can't believe it's not butter!" would be suffice. He earned a no-decision, but Purcey was effective, even if he did rely almost solely on his fastball. Should the Jays have a prayer in 2009, that's how our friend David will have to pitch. Period.

And I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to tonight; Jesse Litsch, baby. And tomorrow afternoon; the Major League debut of one Ricky Romero. More promising young arms. Well, whatta ya know ...

Pennant.

They're back...

You can't see it in that picture*, but Jesse Litsch, along with his epic gut, has man-breasts.

It's great to see that Litsch has come to spring training in the best shape of his life, ready to seize the opportunity to become the number two man in the Toronto Blue Jays' rotation, behind the one and only Roy Halladay.

Truthfully, Litsch's gut and tits don't bother me in the least right now. Not even his rotund figure can deter the optimism that reigns supreme in February.

In stark contrast, The Beej looks great, doesn't he? I can hardly wait to see his first fist pump of the season after he closes out a game. Between B.J. and Jason Blake, the fist pump is enjoying a tremendous revival in Toronto.

Seriously, though, look at Litsch's smile. It just about rivals mine. The boys of summer are back.

And the Blue Jays are winning the pennant.

*A hearty tip of the hat to Ian over at The Blue Jay Hunter for letting me post that pic. It's a beauty. Head on over to his site, and add it to the RSS reader of your choice. Ian does yeoman's work, and even brings Blue Jays heads together for a weekly chat to talk about the upcoming season. And, by "talk about the upcoming season," I mean: Doc's winning the Cy Young, Travis Snider is winning AL Rookie of the Year, and Vernon Wells, Alex Rios, Lyle Overbay and Scott Rolen are all going to have monster 2009s. Playoffs.

Until 2009

First of all, fuck you, Dustin Pedroia.

Look at that smug little grin on his face. What an asshole. I'm off Pedroia. Huge.

My apologies, but I had to get that out of the way.

Well, it's all over for the 2008 edition of

our Toronto Blue Jays. We went into Boston needing to take at least three of four, and we got only one. My dream of a Jays' playoff berth has been stored away in its regular place - the depths of my soul - for another winter.

It was a most disappointing weekend, but I'm not going to shit on my team. I'm not going to shit on the offence, or the bullpen - especially my man crush Scott Downs. I'm not going to complain that the Jays, as a team, weren't able to get it done when it mattered most. Instead, I'm going to focus on the positives, and the fact that this team, left for dead so long ago, had me on the edge of my seat watching meaningful baseball in mid September.

I will, however, shit all over the umpires, and Bartolo Colon.

Shitting All Over the Umpires, and Bartolo Colon

I don't know about you, but I thought David Ortiz's slide in the 7th inning of Saturday night's game - a crushing and demoralizing defeat in which the Jays blew a 5-2 lead and lost 7-5 - was bush league. He went cleats up dangerously into Marco Scutaro's leg on what was easily a double play ball. Scoot, obviously, wasn't able to make the play and the Red Sox scored a huge run in the process. Where was the interference call? Where was Ortiz's ejection for his reckless slide? Where was the mother fucking umpire? If that wasn't interference, I'm not sure what is. Oh, and fuck you, Big Papi.

In yesterday's game, Lyle Overbay was robbed of a double in the 9th inning when he was called out by the douchebag second base umpire, whose name I'm too lazy to look up. As you can see in the picture above by the vein ready to explode in Overbay's neck, and the incredibly homosexual smile on Pedroia's face, Overbay was safely in there, and replays proved it. Overbay would have been on third base with only one out in the inning had the correct call been made. Of course, we ended up losing the game by just a run. Fuck you, douchebag second base umpire.

And, seriously, how much of a fatty is Bartolo Colon? His neck has its own zip postal code. Motha sucka clearly has never heard of a stationary bike, or a treadmill.

The Positives

The starting pitching was pretty dope all weekend. David Purcey battled on Friday night, without his best stuff. Jesse Litsch started on three days rest and gave it his all on Saturday night, giving up three earned runs in five and a third innings. The kids were alright, man, and I'm proud of 'em.

If A.J. Burnett does walk as a free agent this summer, and he most surely will, Saturday afternoon is how I want to remember him. Pitching on three days rest the night after the Jays lost the series opener, Burnett was filthy. As The Ack so aptly put it with only a picture, "Nails."

Travis. Mother. Fuckin. Snider. He homered and doubled on Saturday afternoon, driving in five runs, and added another RBI in the nightcap. He gave notice to the Red Sox and their fans that he has, at only 20 years old, arrived, and is for real. As I like to say, Travis Snider is the truth. For guys like Adam Lind and Sniderman (hat tip to the The Ack, who coined that awesome nickname), the future is tremendously bright.

Some jackass in the comments section over at The Tao of Stieb, who doesn't even have the balls to leave his name, made the utterly foolish assertion that because Roy Halladay lost to the White Sox on Wednesday and to the Red Sox yesterday, "he is not a big game pitcher." It gets better: "Right now, Lester is the better pitcher and beat Halladay."

Doc gave up six hits and two earned runs in seven innings against the defending World Series champions, in Fenway Park. He struck out five and didn't walk a batter. But he's not a big game pitcher. And Jon Lester is better than him. You see, this is the type of nonsensical bullshit we have to put up with here in Toronto. I hate to use the word retarded, you know, for politically correct reasons, but that anonymous commenter over at The Tao of Stieb is, well, retarded.

In Defense of Downs

Watching Scott Downs fall flat on his face while the Red Sox scored the winning run on Saturday night, and essentially silenced our faint playoff hopes in the process, was gut-wrenching. He was tagged for three runs, and the loss, in the type of game he's been money in all year long.

The bullpen has been so strong all year, with Downs leading the charge. Saturday night was one lead they couldn't hold on to, and I can't find it in me to be down on the guys. No way. The pen is one of the main reasons why the Jays were able to make something of this season, and they deserve better than a public flogging from me.

As for Downs, it turns out he didn't heed the advice of trainers and doctors when he rolled his ankle a month ago on August 13th. Since his return from a week off after the injury, Downs has struggled, and it was the same ankle that led to his most inopportune, and embarrassing, fielding mishap. But I'm going to give props to Downs for playing hurt. He wanted to be out there for his team, and I can't be mad at him for that. I still have mad man love for Scotty Downs.

Looking Forward

With only 12 games left on the schedule, and an 80-70 record, the Jays need to finish strong and look to 2009. Selfishly, I want 90 wins. Ten out of twelve. It's a tall order, but I've got faith in these guys. They've proved over the last two months that they can play with anybody in the American League. 90 wins won't be enough to quiet the J.P. Ricciardi haters out there but, really, how do you fire the general manager of a team with 90 wins in the AL East? I don't think you do. Stay tuned, a Ricciardi inspired post entitled "One More Year" is coming down the pipe.

With twelve games left to play, both Burnett and Halladay will get at least two more starts. They've both got 18 wins, and it would be quite a way for A.J. to go out if both he and Doc can get to 20 wins. They've been the best one-two punch in the American League this year and I'll always be left to wonder just how scary their combination would have looked in a playoff series. For shame.

I'll be watching the final twelve games of the season with interest because this is a good baseball team. A playoff team. I truly believe that. As Mike Wilner was so kind enough to point out, the Jays' fate was determined not this weekend, but in April and June, when they went a combined 21-33. For the rest of the season, the Blue Jays sport an impressive record of 59-37. So when you hear or read someone say that Doc isn't a big-game pitcher, or that the Jays choked, take it for what it is: bullshit. This season was not lost when we couldn't close the gap in the wild card race to 7.5 games with 12 games left to play. It was lost early on in the year, when we couldn't beat the Royals, Mariners, Indians and Athletics of the baseball world.

In the end, the hole the Jays dug themselves was simply too deep to climb out of. But it was exciting as fuck to watch them do everything they could to try.

See you in 2009, with bells on, Massholes.

Remember...

To vote for Tom Cheek. Please and thanks.

On The Ropes, And Still Delusional

Last night didn't go so well. Eighty-five year old shitballer Tim Wakefield had his knuckleball dancing; dancing right around the Jays' bats. We're on the ropes, my friends.

It's one thing to get spanked at Fenway Park in one of the biggest games of the year. But to get three-hit over eight innings by knuckleballing douchebag Tim Wakefield? Wow. That's got to be the best way to kill the "we're in a pennant race" buzz I was enjoying.

I don't really want to talk much about last night's affair. I hate Wakefield. I thought David Purcey pitched well considering the circumstances and the fact that he didn't have great command all night. He's making a strong case to be a permanent fixture in next year's rotation.

I would, however, like to have a word with Jason Frasor, that useless piece of shit. Giving up a three-run home run to Kevin Cash? Kevin mother fucking Cash? He of the career .184 batting average? Brutal. Frasor, you should be deeply ashamed of yourself. 

Being on the ropes is a lot different than being on the mat. We're still alive, albeit barely, and we'll see what the Jays are made of in today's doubleheader. A.J. Burnett takes the ball in game one, and Jesse Litsch will be on the mound tonight. I'm hoping Burnett makes one of his final appearances in a Jays uniform one of his best yet. Make me proud, talented bonehead.

On Cy

Cliff Lee won his 22nd game yesterday, beating the always awesome Kansas City Royals FOR THE FIFTH TIME THIS SEASON. On behalf of Roy Halladay, fuck you Kansas City Royals.

I have a hard time believing that Lee, with a 22-2 record, will not win the Cy Young award. He's got it sewn up. He's faced shitty opposition all year and, to his credit, he's done his part.

While I think there's still a case to be made for Doc's Cy Young candidacy, Lee is going to win the award, and that's fine. He can have it. He deserves it, you know, for beating the Royals five times, Oakland twice, Seattle twice, and Detroit twice. 

At the end of the day, we all know who the better pitcher is.

DJF - Delusional Jays Fans

In the comments section of my last post, visitor Pseudonym busted out the "You are delusional" comment. It's not the first time I've heard it, and it certainly won't be the last.

Oddly enough, my brother in arms The Ack over at The Tao of Stieb wrote a post about delusionality last night. He's on point, as usual, so go and check out what he had to say. 

Of course we're delusional. The Ack is right. It's why we're still fans of our Blue Jays, 15 years removed from their last playoff game. It's why we hope, why we cheer, and why we follow this team. Because the Toronto Blue Jays are our team. Some call it being delusional, I call it being a fan.

I'm sure Colorado Rockies fans were called delusional last year, when their team won 15 of their final 16 games to force a one-game playoff, which they won, and went all the way to the mother fucking World Series.

I'm sure Philadelphia Phillies fans were called delusional for believing their team could overcome a seven game deficit in the standings in September. And their team did just that.

Rockies fans and Phillies fans, those delusional mother fuckers, laughed last. And loudest.

I can only hope to do the same. It may not happen this year. But I know it will, eventually.

Go Jays.

Who Said Playing Spoiler Isn't Fun?

The Blue Jays are relishing the role of spoiler. They completed a sweep of the Minnesota Twins last night, giving the Twinkies' playoff aspirations a big "fuck you" in the process.

It was a most entertaining series. On Tuesday, the Jays rallied from behind, erased a 5-1 deficit and won the game 7-5. And you know how they did it? By hitting home runs. Three of them. In the same game. Back-to-back jacks from Alex Rios and Jose Bautista (his was a two-run shot), and a two-run bomb from Lyle Overbay. As the cherry on top of my home run sundae, B.J. Ryan pitched a 1-2-3 9th inning for the save. Unbelievable, I know. When I woke up on Wednesday, I kid you not, it felt like Christmas morning. It just felt great to be alive.

On Wednesday night, A.J. Burnett pitched well enough to win, but the bullpen couldn't hold the 3-0 lead. In a 3-3 game in the 9th inning, The Beej allowed the Twins to plate their fourth run. Once again, however, the Jays refused to go quietly into the night. And they were led by the young phenom - the savior, the franchise - Travis Snider. Snider tied up the game in the bottom of the 9th with a clutch base hit, his third of the game, off uber closer Joe Nathan, who entered the game with a nasty 1.11 ERA and 36 saves. It was an inspiring plate appearance from the 20-year-old, especially considering he fell behind in the count.

In the 11th inning, John McDonald provided the dramatics, walk-off style, and the Jays were once again victorious. The Tao of Stieb put it best: "Oh, and don't forget Johnny McDonald driving in the winning run. That's always good for the soul." You're damn right it is, Tao.

Last night, Jesse Litsch was unhittable, going the distance on a four-hitter. Whatever Litsch worked on when he was sent down to the 'Cuse, it's working. In 28 and 2/3 innings since his recall, he's allowed only 3 earned runs. That's pretty damn impressive. Hopefully my boy Shaun Marcum can parlay his demotion into similar results.

I mentioned Travis Snider's performance on Wednesday, but he was even better yesterday. He clocked his first career big league home run, to deep centre field no less, and finished 3-for-3 on the night with 2 RsBI and a walk. I know, it's only been four games, but the kid is batting .467. If he's not causing your cock to stir a little bit in your pants, you might need one of those blue pills.

Some housekeeping:

Vernon Wells hit home run number 16 last night, in game number 86. He hit 16 home runs in 149 games in 2007. I think it's safe to say that his shoulder really was fucked up last season, hence the dramatic drop in power. It's looking more and more likely that he will reach the 20 home run mark this season, and that's impressive because of all the time he's missed. It will also help me to sleep better at night, knowing that at least one Blue Jay finished with 20 or more jacks.

Over the long weekend, David Eckstein played his final game for the Toronto Blue Jays, as he was traded to the land of the rising sun. I never got to say goodbye, so I thought I'd take a moment. I don't think Eck got a fair shake in Toronto once The Gastonian one arrived. Not that I blame Cito, who is, like the rest of us, clearly a Johnny Mac fan. But Eckstein never complained about his diminished playing time or his role on the team. As Mike Wilner was kind enough to point out, Eck put up numbers almost idential to his career stats. He did exactly what he was supposed to do. So there's no hard feelings. He was a gamer and, by all accounts, one of the classier guys around. Cheers, Eck. Stay scrappy.

We Were Due...

For a shit-kicking. David Purcey vs. Andy Pettitte was really a no-contest from the get go. Purcey struggled, Pettitte was effective, and the Jays bats were eerily silent yet again.

For the Yankees, there were positives all around. They stroked 10 hits, including a two-run bomb from Derek Jeter, Pettitte was lights out, and Johnny Damon didn't drop a fly ball all night.

I was hoping to see Purcey step up and deliver against a lineup the likes of New York's, but he was brutal, falling behind most of the hitters he faced in his four innings of work. You can't do that up here in the big leagues, especially against the Yankees. They'll burn you everytime, those bastards.

The esteemed Robert MacLeod of The Globe and Mail completely stole my thunder and wrote the post I was thinking about writing, over at Globe on Baseball. With Purcey and Jesse Litsch manning the back end of the Blue Jays rotation, it's going to take a Festivus miracle for the Jays to get within striking distance of the wild card. The injury to Dustin McGowan really, really fucks things up.

Doc Halladay takes the ball in tonight's rubber match. There's no other guy I want on the mound in what is pretty much a must-win game.

I wonder, if the Jays can somehow close the gap to within five games, might we see a four-man rotation of Doc, A.J. Burnett, Shaun Marcum, and Litsch? A.J.'s only a Blue Jay for 40 odd more days, why not send him out there every four days.

Yesterday's silver lining? The Baltimore Orioles did us a solid and finally beat the Red Sox. We're still 7.5 games back.

The Basement

Below are the updated AL East standings. Read em. And weep. Weep profusely. As I have been.

After yesterday's loss to the lowly Baltimore Orioles, the Blue Jays are back in the basement. Uh, I guess that makes us the lowly ones doesn't it? Fuck.

What makes all of this so difficult is that the Jays have allowed the fewest runs against - 396 - in the division. They've also scored the fewest - 416. Damn, pathetic, useless, offence.

And might it be time to send young Jesse Litsch down to Syracuse? He's looked Josh Towers-awful the last two months. Damn, pathetic, useless, Josh Towers.

Anyway, the series with the O's continues tonight, and I'll be in attendance at Oriole Park at Camden Yards, in the dangerous (or so I'm told by people who watch The Wire) city of Baltimore, Maryland. I'm looking forward to taking in the ball game at one of baseball's finest parks. Just pray to whomever it is you pray to that it doesn't rain, people. Thank you. Your cooperation is greatly appreciated.

My second-favourite Blue Jays pitcher Shaun "North of Steeles" Marcum is back from the disabled list and will be on the mound tonight. As much as I'd love to, I can't take credit for that gem of a nickname. That's all the inebriated ones at Drunk Jays Fans. Here's hoping Marcum puts on a show, bitch slaps the Orioles, and sends me home happy.

Happy Birthday, Harry

Harry "Doc" Halladay celebrated his 31st birthday yesterday and his Blue Jays teammates finally gave him what he's been longing for: run support. And a win! A very happy birthday indeed for The Doctor.

After a brutal start to their road trip that saw them score only four runs in a four game set against Cleveland, the Jays have suddenly put together some wins. Last night over the Twins made it three in a row and it came when Halladay was not at his best. He grinded out the "W" and it was good to see the Jays offense bail him out for once.

On too many nights Doc has been masterful while the bats have let him down. He's already thrown four complete games, two more than anyone else in the American League, and has unbelievably lost three of them.

The Jays offense - I know, the word "offense" is an incredible stretch - has averaged a putrid 3.14 runs per Halladay outing. Not good enough. Last night, Matt Stairs made sure to better that in the first inning, when he hit the eleventh grand slam of his career to spot Doc four runs before he even threw a pitch (happy birthday!). Doc needed every last run the Jays gave him, but he was due for a victory. Harry's been his usual fly self so far this season and his 4-5 win-loss record should read more like 7-3.

Speaking of Stairs, he is a rudey. Nice little feature about him from Robert Macleod at The Globe and Mail. Stairsy is proving that if Frank Thomas is losing bat speed as he gets older, the pride of New Brunswick is doing the opposite. He can still turn on a fastball and boy did he ever last night. Stairs leads the team in home runs (6), batting average (.306), and is second behind Scott Rolen with a .828 OPS. And he respects the game. Even when he bitch slaps a ball into the upper deck for a grand slam, like he did last night, he puts his head down and runs the bases. No admiration of his moon shot, no silly ManRam-style hand gestures, nothing. He's a true Canadian hero. Stay classy, Matt.

And if you haven't heard already, Scott Rolen is the Best Blue Jay Ever. It's tough to argue with. The more I watch Rolen play, the more I fall in love. I can't believe I actually used to be a big Troy Glaus fan. I feel all dirty inside, like a cheap hooker. Glaus has nothing, absolutely nothing, on Rolen. What a gamer. Much has been made about Rolen's 15-pitch at-bat on Tuesday night, and he was at it again in the first inning yesterday, walking to load the bases for Stairs after an 11-pitch battle. Rolen is quite Godly. Quite. "The Third Base Jesus," as The Tao said.

Some quick (bong) hits:

I don't know what the Blue Jays did or have done to anger the baseball God's, but the injuries rained down with a vengeance last week. In a two-day span Vernon Wells, John McDonald, David Eckstein and Jeremy Accardo landed on the disabled list. My dream of just one God damn relatively healthy season was violently killed, execution style...

Jesse "Son of a" Litsch is leading the team in wins with five, the Jays are in last place in the American League East, and the Tampa Bay Rays are in first place. Ain't nobody can tell me they saw all that shit coming...

Jesse Carlson is the Blue Jays' Jamario Moon. What a find...

B.J. Ryan, touch wood, has been great coming off the Tommy John. While he hasn't been overpowering, he's yet to allow a run in 11 innings, has struck out 13 douchebags, and said douchebags are only batting .179 off him. I said touch wood so, please, do it...

How amazingly awesome is Shaun Marcum? A man crush is quickly developing. And I'm not the only one. In over 56 innings of work Marcum is sporting a 2.22 ERA and, even more impressive, a .151 opponents batting average. Nobody can hit him right now...

Toronto's offensive struggles have been well documented. Over the weekend, when the Jays didn't score a run in over 30 innings (!!!), it got to the point where it was more comical than frustrating. A ridiculous inability to hit with runners in scoring position, errors, unassisted triple plays, you name it, the Jays have been through it. It has been a strange opening two months of the season. While for many the "Fire John Gibbons" watch has begun, I'm of the opinion that he should remain manager of the Jays for entire season. For once, it is time to hold the players, not the manager, accountable. Gibbons isn't the one who's up there unable to get the job done...

So, J.P. Ricciardi released Reed Johnson for Shannon Stewart. Hasn't really worked out too well. Stew's struggling, so welcome to Toronto Kevin Mench and Brad Wilkerson. Is it still unacceptable to say that releasing Johnson was a mistake?...

And Ricciardi released Frank Thomas because Adam Lind was ready, so we were told. But he's back in the minors, so he's not ready. Now, I have no problem with Lind getting his cuts in the minors. I guess I just don't like being lied to. In the end, I'm the idiot. No sports team in this city is honest, yet honesty is all I continue to expect...

I'm So Excited And I Just Can't Hide It

I'm beginning to get super excited about the 2008 Toronto Blue Jays. Sure, the uber-long baseball season is only six games old, but it seems there's something different about this Jays team.

It's true, folks - I'm thinking playoffs. Yes, Already. I've got visions of a pennant dancing in my head.

After playing well in the season-opening series against the New York Yankees but winning only one of three in the Bronx, the Jays came home and swept the road-weary Boston Red Sox right out of town. It was a statement sweep. A "we aren't going to finish third in the AL East" sweep. And I'm pumped up about it.

I was at the home opener on Friday night. It was a doozy. The Rogers Centre was full and the alcohol was certainly flowing. There were half-assed streakers, a few Massholes, and a ton of fights. Up in the 500 level where I was seated, Jays fans were even fighting each other. It was pretty ridiculous. The Jays fans-on-Jays fans violence has to stop.

Anyway, I'm tickled with excitement about the pitching staff. It has come as advertised: one of the best in the American League. Through six games, the Blue Jays sport a team ERA of 2.94. Only the Oakland A's and Kansas City Royals have been better on the mound and, well, we all know that ain't going to last.

To a man, the rotation has been solid. AJ Burnett was downright filthy in his start against New York, as was Dustin McGowan. Shaun Marcum, except for one bad pitch to JD Drew in the opener on Friday night, cut through the Red Sox lineup with disregard, striking out eight while only allowing three hits in seven innings. Even Jesse Litsch contributed. He battled against the Red Sox, gave up two runs in five innings of work and ended up getting the win on Saturday. What more do you want from your fifth starter?

If I'd have told you that Roy Halladay would have given up 15 hits in 15 innings of work in his first two starts, including four home runs, and the Jays would be 4-and-2 after six games against the two Evil Empire's, I think you'd be pretty pleased. I am, especially knowing that even when Doc isn't at the top of his game, the Jays can still pull out a victory.

The Jays have gotten quality starts almost across the board and when the bullpen has had to come in, they've been lights out. Brian Wolfe is the only reliever who's surrendered a run, and that came against New York. In 13 innings of relief the bullpen has allowed only that single run, while striking out 10. And we haven't even seen Brandon League yet.

Are you beginning to see why I'm excited?

The boys are hitting as well. After a sluggish start in New York, Toronto scored 23 runs in three games against Boston. Frank Thomas was the catalyst. He had an absolute monster series and finished with eight RBI.

I'm stoked about big Frank. He hit the game winning double in Friday's home opener, a two-run bomb to dead centre on Saturday afternoon, and added a grand slam in Sunday's series finale. And he looked about excited doing it as I am right now. His eight RBI now lead the American League.

Thomas already looks more comfortable in a Toronto uniform than he did last year, and is taking on more of a leadership role with the team. There was some serious fist-pumpage after his huge double on Friday night and upon entering the dugout after his grand slam on Sunday, Thomas was clearly emotional. He even got a curtain call, and I'm starting to see why those damn Yankee fans love it so much. It was pretty sweet.

Alex Rios and Aaron Hill have picked up where they left off last season, and it's hard not to be excited about their recent contract signings. They're both locked up for years to come and while the future in Toronto is certainly bright, I'm starting to believe that the future is now.

Vernon Wells isn't off to one of his no-no-no-notoriously bad starts, Marco Scutaro has been a pleasant addition and David Eckstein is one hard working dude. Who else sprints to first base on a walk?

And in a tell-tale sign that injuries may not wreak havoc on this team any more than they already have (knock on wood; I'm serious, do it), both John McDonald and Wells were able to stay in the game after a scary collision in centre field on Sunday.

Toronto, at 4-and-2, finds itself one game behind the American League leading Baltimore Orioles. Go ahead, take a second and have a good laugh over that one. It's not often you'll read "Baltimore Orioles" and "American League leading" in the same sentence. If there's ever been a sure bet in life, it's that the Orioles will not win the AL East.

But I digress. What makes Toronto's impressive start all the more encouraging is that the Jays have managed to do all of this without BJ Ryan and Scott Rolen, two very important pieces of the puzzle. I get giddy thinking what this team is going to be like when the two return.

Don't believe me when I tell you I'm excited? While the Jays were completing their sweep of the Red Sox on Sunday afternoon, I, along with my brother and two friends, purchased a 20-game Blue Jays tickets flex pack. But that's not all. Taking a page out of JP Ricciardi's book, we back-ended the flex pack, and bought seats to all the games versus the Red Sox and Yankees at home in September. Why? Because we smell a pennant race. This, my friends, is the year the Toronto Blue Jays return to the MLB playoffs.

In honour of the title of this post, and the Blue Jays' boner-inducing play early on this season, I leave you with a video from my youth. The video first of all proves that everything is available on YouTube. Secondly, it has a lot to do with my relationship with the Toronto Blue Jays, and the Toronto Maple Leafs as well, and the belief that they will make the playoffs every single year. It starts with a whole lot of excitement, leads to substance abuse, and culminates in one major breakdown. Enjoy!

Sundin or Alfredsson?

Now that the Ottawa Senators are on their way to the Stanley Cup Finals - wow, that actually hurts just writing it - an interesting question comes to mind.

Mats Sundin or Daniel Alfredsson. Who would you rather have as your captain?

The Senators, led by Alfredsson, are off to the place no Maple Leafs team has travelled in the modern era of the NHL. Sundin and the Leafs have never made it out of the third round of the grind known as the Stanley Cup Playoffs.

Alfredsson has been a man possessed the last few weeks. He's playing, undoubtedly, the best hockey of his career and has been the driving the bus for his team. He's finally playing like a captain, something he'd never really done in the playoffs before. I thought it was fitting that Alffy was the man to score the game winner in overtime of game five to knock out the Sabres. It was Alffy who was burned by Jason Pominville, one year ago, in overtime of game five when Buffalo sent the Senators home. Justin Timberlake was right, the clever entertainer that he is. What goes around, goes around, goes around comes all the way back around.

Alfredsson is the first European captain of a team in the Stanley Cup Finals. Funny, I always believed Mats Sundin would hold that distinction. Alas, it has yet to be for Sundin and Toronto's beloved, but clearly cursed, hockey team. Will Alfredsson become the first European captain to win the Stanley Cup?

Alfredsson has turned it up a notch in the playoffs this time around. He's played solid two-way hockey, while racking up 10 goals and seven assists. Four of those goals have been game winners. The Sens have won 12 games in the second season, so Alffy's won a third of them for his team. That's clutch. He's even added a physical element to his game, something he certainly hasn't been known for before.

Statistically during the regular season over their respective careers, Sundin holds a slight edge over Alfredsson when it comes to points-per-game. Sundin has averaged 1.01 points a game over his career, while Alffy comes in at 0.97. Advantage Sundin.

Sundin is also the better playoff performer, averaging 0.89 points a game in 83 career playoff games. Alfredsson has played 94 career playoff games and averages 0.80 points-per-game. Advantage Sundin, again.

I'm not sure one solid playoff run, on a very talented and deep Ottawa Senators team, vaults Alfredsson past Sundin. Alfredsson is playing on a line with Dany Heatley and Jason Spezza right now, two all-world superstars. Mats Sundin goes to bed at night dreaming of playing with guys of that calibre. Other than the Alexander Mogilny days in Toronto, I'd say Alfredsson has always played with more talented players beside him.

All I know is that this city is full of Mats Sundin haters. The haters are saying Sundin shouldn't be resigned. That he's overpaid, and not worthy of the "C". I'll vouch with the overpaid part, but don't believe for a second that he isn't a superb captain and player. The Leafs need him, straight up.

The fact that Alfredsson is now playing for the most beautiful piece of hardware I have ever seen in my life, the Stanley Cup, is not going to help Sundin's cause, especially when he's on the verge of signing a new two-year contract with the Leafs.

Clearly, I'm no Sundin hater. I love the man. I'm going to give Alfredsson his props on his playoff performance right now, but I'll take Mats Sundin as my captain any day of the week over Alffy.
I'd love to know what you think.

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Jesse Litsch, welcome back down to earth.

The Jays lost another close one tonight as youngster Litsch made his third start in the big leagues, against a tough Minnesota Twins lineup.

After his phenomenal start about ten days ago, Litsch has struggled in his last two outings. He's allowed to struggle, though. The kid is up from AA ball, after all, and he's only 22. It's not an easy transition, Casey Janssen can attest to that. Litsch gave up three runs and eight hits in only four and a third innings tonight. He's done a good job filling in, but it's time to get back on the bus and head down to Syracuse. Harry Halladay - I think I'm going to refer to him as Harry for the rest of the season - could return as early as May 31st, and Litsch will benefit from some time in Triple-A. It looks like he's got a bright future.

My main man Scott Downs took the loss tonight. He made a costly error in the bottom of the seventh when he couldn't handle Justin Morneau's nibbler. It was only the sixth run he's given up all year.

I've got to admit that I'm just waiting for the Jays' lights-out bullpen trio's bubble to burst. The trio of Accardo, Janssen and Downs. Downs looks like he's ready to pop, as he's given up three runs in his last two outings. Accardo is still going strong on his scoreless innings streak, and I'm still not sure how Casey Janssen is doing what he's doing.

Janssen hasn't been overpowering. He's given up 21 hits in 24 plus innings, while striking out ten. Yet he's only given up two runs. Those stats show that he's not getting fazed when runners get aboard. That's a great quality for a pitcher to have. Duh. Hard to believe Janssen was also pitching for New Hampshire in Double-A just a year ago.

This way of thinking - waiting for the bubble to burst - is the way I function. All negativity, all the time! Instead of enjoying the success of the Jays bullpen, I'm waiting for it all to come crashing down.

Peculiar decision by John Gibbons to let Scott Downs pitch to Torii Hunter tonight, with two outs and runners on the corners in a tie ball game. Hunter has been eating up left-handed pitching all year, and Jason Frasor was ready in the bullpen. This is what I mean when I say that John Gibbons makes some stupid decisions. Play the numbers. Bring in Frasor. Downs has been great, but you've got to respect Hunter's bat. Downs' first pitch was poked into right field, 4-3 Twins, and it turned out to be the winning run. Good call.

Random thought - it's hard to believe JP Ricciardi has been around for seven seasons, and John Gibbons for four, already. Wow. Time flies when you're finishing in third!

Tomo Ohka takes the mound for the Jays tomorrow. It's almost official, he sucks. If he loses tomorrow, it will be official. I'm off Ohka, huge.

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I just saw Maggie the Monkey pick the Senators to win it all on Sportscentre. I'm not sure how Maggie's done with her picks this year, but I hope she's wrong. As much as I want a Canadian team to win the Stanley Cup, I would much rather it have been Calgary or Edmonton in the last few years. Not Ottawa. I can take them making it to the finals, but winning it is going to be a bit much for me to swallow. The fact that Alfredsson is the leading candidate for the Conn Smythe isn't sitting too well either.

It's true, I wanted the Sens to beat the Sabres. Ottawa's never beaten the Leafs in the playoffs, while Buffalo has. There's my justification. And a part of me likes to laugh at the inability of Buffalo's pro sports teams to get the job done. Buffalo is a city of losers, and I wanted that losing to continue. They did and I'm happy, but that's all now. Come on Ducks. Do the Flying V. Do whatever it takes, but don't let the Senators win it all.

Karma should be on the side of the Ducks. Scott Niedermayer didn't even come within a foot of the Western Conference Championship trophy. Half of the Ducks were already gone to the dressing room during the presentation. That's the way it should be done. Nobody cares about that trophy, nobody wants to touch it, and nobody wants to take a picture with it. That is not the trophy one plays for. Niedermayer did the right thing. If you want to win the Stanley Cup, it's known that you don't touch the Conference Championship trophy. As absurd as this tradition has become, I absolutely love it. There's no other trophy like the Stanley Cup and it's aura results in ridiculous superstitions like this.

Alfredsson, Wade Redden and the Senators, however, were all over the Eastern Conference Championship trophy. Redden even skated around with it! That's a no-no. It will cost the Senators, dearly.

Ducks in seven. Book it.

Apologies

Apologies are in store.

In the midst of the Jays' nine game losing streak, I lost sight of the bigger picture. And in baseball that bigger picture is, well, pretty damn big. 162 games big.

The baseball season is long and arduous. It's important to keep the highs and lows of the six month season in perspective. As fans, we have to maintain an even keel, and I didn't do that. I panicked. Big time.

There I was, calling for heads to roll and for people to get fired. A nine game losing streak in May isn't the end of the world. It certainly may do irrefutable damage to the 2007 Jays season, but by no means is the season over, as was written by me, and by several members of the Toronto media.

After taking some time to reflect on the state of Toronto's beloved Blue Jays, I realized that clearly it's not fair to fire anyone when approximately $29 million in Jays salaries are currently on the disabled list. Injuries are a part of baseball, what the hell can you do? Call it bad luck, or karma, or anything for that matter, it doesn't matter, because the Jays still have 120 odd games left to play. The games must go on. The team doesn't have the option of Jerry Seinfeld - "I choose not to run!"

The losing streak is now in the past. It's forgotten. The Jays have won six of eight and sit seven games out of the Wild Card. Daunting? Yes. Impossible? Certainly not. Crazier stuff has happened before. Two years ago, when the Astros made the final, they were 10 games out of it in July. So to say it can't be done, and that the Jays are done, is wrong, straight up. Sure, the Astros had Roger Clemens, Andy Pettitte and Roy Oswalt. That certainly helped their cause, but I'll be damned if I declare the Jays dead before June has even begun.

Before I get into my repentance, I learned, as George Costanza would say, an interesting nugget of information last week, after Doc Halladay went on the disabled list with acute appendicitis. His real name is Leroy Harry Halladay. When word broke that Doc was going under the knife, A.J. Burnett, who was pitching that night, sent his buddy a text message - "This one's for you, Harry."

They actually call him Harry! That's just strange to me, for some reason. He looks like a Roy!

First of all, I'm sorry A.J. Burnett. Burnett has really stepped up in the absence of Halladay. He's taken the job of staff ace to heart and has pitched two magnificent ballgames since Doc, err Harry, went down. In his last two starts Burnett has pitched 15 and 2/3's innings, given up only two earned runs while striking out 20. His last game, Wednesday versus the Orioles, was probably as dominant a performance he's had since donning the Jays uniform. His ERA is now a tidy 3.99 and he's stepped up when this team and organization has needed him the most. He's vocal in the club house, is the team's pie-in-the-face guy along with Vernon Wells, and is fast becoming one of the leader's of this team. A healthy and on-point Burnett is so important to salvaging this season.

I'm sorry Shaun Marcum. I said he didn't deserve to be put into the starting rotation. I even said he was a bit like Josh Towers. Ouch. When you get compared to Josh Towers, you know you've got problems. Marcum, in his two games since joining the rotation, has been lights out. Twelve inning's pitched and only two earned runs. Marcum's going to stay in the rotation, and he deserves to right now.

I'm sorry John Gibbons. You're the Manager, and just because the team is struggling and missing so many regulars doesn't mean you should lose your job. Like I said, I panicked. I like Gibbons, and although he does make questionable decisions at times, he seems to have the respect of his troops. A lot has been made about his public scuffles with Shea Hillenbrand and Ted Lilly, but I read an interesting column in the Star which said that if Gibbon's wasn't respected by the players, would Wells have signed his huge contract to stay in Toronto? It made me think. The Jays have for too long used a carousel of coaches. This is Gibbons' team and he's got to be given a chance to run with it.

I'm sorry JP Ricciardi. For the first time in seven years, since JP came aboard, did I ever question him. I hadn't seen the Jays go through such a tailspin in so long, I forgot how to handle it. If I'm frustrated by all the injuries, imagine what JP is going through? The life of a General Manager is a stressful one. Just when I was calling out JP on the lack of depth in the Jays system, up comes youngster Jesse Litsch, 22 years old and tearing up AA ball. He throws eight and two-thirds against the Orioles and gives up only one run, which came in the first inning when the kid was clearly nervous to be on the mound in the big's.

Litsch got his first big league win, and it came on his dad's birthday, who happened to be in the crowd all the way from Florida. Talk about a perfect debut. It was exactly what the Jays needed too. Injuries equals opportunities for other players, and Litsch seized his, that's for sure. What was supposed to be just a one-game call up has turned into a few more starts for the youngster. He's freaking almost three years younger than me. Ridiculous.

I also have to give JP his props on the Shea Hillendbrand for Jeremy Accardo deal last season. It's certainly looking like a steal. Shea was up for unrestricted free agency and was going to leave anyways, before Hillend-gate went down. JP swung him to San Francisco for Accardo, the young, hard-throwing right-hander. Accardo's been money this season. Eighteen innings pitched and nary a run has been scored on him. He's only given up nine hits, while striking out 19. Accardo has picked up three saves in the absence of BJ Ryan, and is the closer for the rest of this season. At this rate, Accardo's a shoe-in for the All-Star game. He's having a phenomenal season and has really stepped up in the absences of Brandon League and BJ Ryan. Another guy seizing an opportunity. Coming into training camp there were a lot of questions surrounding Accardo and his role on this team. Now he's one of the more valuable players on this year's team.

In light of all the struggles with the Jays, it's interesting to note that the Jays have three of the American League's top relievers in their bullpen. Really. I'm not lying. Casey Janssen, Scott Downs, and Jeremy Accardo. The three have pitched a combined 53 innings so far, and have only let up five runs, while striking out 46 batters. Lights out, baby. Justin Speier who?

Marcum, Litsch and Janssen are Ricciardi draft picks. Accardo is the product of a Ricciardi trade. Clearly, the farm is producing Major League talent, and Ricciardi is making good deals. I'm sorry to have doubted you JP. I was way out of line.

I've also got to apologize to Troy Glaus. I'm always complaining about how he's often injured, but the guy has been so clutch when he's been in the lineup that I'm not sure where the Jays would be without him. In the three-game sweep of the Baltimore Orioles, Glaus drove in the winning run every night. Game one - a moon shot of a home run in the 8th inning. Game two - a single to left field that drove in the winning run. Game three - another single that drove in Rios with the winning run.

Glaus is playing with a golf-ball sized bone spur in his right foot. That can't be comfortable. Especially for the hulking Glaus, who is 6-5" and weighs 240 pounds. That's a lot of weight coming down on that bone spur. Glaus has been a warrior and is playing through the pain, and will continue to do so for the rest of the season. You've got to admire his competitiveness. Atta boy, Troy.

I'm sorry Vernon Wells. I'd like to say I was drinking when I questioned whether the Jays should have signed Wells to the long-term deal. I was drunk, but it wasn't the alcohol. I was drunk off all the losing. It took its toll. Vernon Wells represents Toronto Blue Jays baseball. He made a commitment to this team and to this city, and although that commitment came with a few Brinx trucks full of money, I shouldn't be questioning that contract only 40 games into it. Once again, I was out of line. Wells is a fierce competitor and there's no way he's not giving his all out there in centre field, I just refuse to believe it.

V-Dubbs has been a notoriously slow starter in April, and that has been the case again this year. But, like I said earlier, it's a long season and I'm confident Wells will rebound and have a solid season. He's paid like a superstar because he is a superstar.

Last, but certainly not least, I'm sorry Blue Jays marketing department. I bought into what you've been selling the last couple of years, and no nine game losing streak is going to spoil years of hard work.

Seven games, that's it. The Red Sox are bound to go into a slump. I refuse to believe they can play .700 baseball all season long. They will have their injuries as well. Case in point, Josh Beckett has landed on the DL. Josh Beckett, he of the 7-0 record. Baseball season is not 40 games long.

I refuse to believe that the Jays will go quietly into the night. This team has heart. This team will not quit. The 2007 season still can be a special one. I can't throw in the towel. I don't have it in me.

Blue Jays Baseball, I still believe. I urge you to do the same.