In search of a moniker ...

As I mentioned on Twitter last night, we need a nickname for Jason Frasor. A good one. And suggestions have begun to come down the pipe.

ar - Kee hit the ground running with "The Vulture." I like it. Much like a bird that feeds on the carcasses of dead animals, there is something predatory-like about the 2009 version of Frasor.

Platform Shag put forth "Razor," and The Blue Jay Hunter is on board. Unfortunately, I'm not, and I'm going to have to shoot this one down. It can't be done. Not in this town. Thanks to one Andrew Raycroft, not anymore. It would be a slap in Frasor's face for him to have the same moniker as the most atrocious goalie to suit up for the Toronto Maple Leafs in recent memory. Apologies, Pshag and Ian.

I do, however, like Searching For '93's suggestion: "Hightower." Something about it works. At 5'10 and 175 pounds, Frasor isn't a dominating physical presence on the mound. But he pitches like one. He pitches like a "Hightower." And the nickname reminds me of Officer Hightower, from Police Academy, which I always thought was based in Chicago, Frasor's hometown. Bottom line: I dig.

Last, and certainly not least, "The Bullpen Ninja," courtesy The Ack. I must admit, I'm feeling this one, too, probably the most. Frasor certainly is ninja-like. Quiet and unassuming, yet lethal. He can beat you with one mother fucker of a fastball, or his "fosh" pitch.

What do you think? Have at it in the comments, and throw in new suggestions as well. Jason Frasor, along with his 1.96 ERA, 0.74 WHIP, and .182 opponents batting average, is worth it.

UPDATE: How do we not go with Sausage King?

I Don't Like To ...

... dump all over Andrew Raycroft. OK, fine, I do. But you know what? I'll never do it again. I'm getting out of that business. More accurately, I've been forced out of that business.

The NHL's regular season is over and, adding insult to the fact that the Toronto Maple Leafs are once again on the outside looking in at the playoffs (!!!!1), Raycrap finished with a save percentage higher than that of Vesa Toskala's; .001 percentage points higher, to be exact.

Oh, the humanity.

With that, my Raycroft-bashing days are over. I declared that if Toskala was looking up at Raycroft's save percentage come season's end, I'd offer "Razor" an apology, and never talk ill of him again. Well, I'm a man of my word.

It doesn't matter that Raycroft started 27 games compared to Toskala's 53. It doesn't matter that the Colorado Avalanche, as a team, allowed 36 fewer goals than Toronto. It doesn't matter that the Maple Leafs were the worst defensive and penalty killing team in the league.

What matters is that five-on-five Raycroft was better than Toskala, posting a .905 save percentage to Toskala's .903 at even strength. Sure, Toskala's save percentage on the penalty kill was higher than Raycroft's (.841 to .832), but both numbers are downright pathetic, so they cancel each other out.

Ugh. Toskala shouldn't have been playing hurt. Period. No more excuses. I hope he's deeply, deeply ashamed of himself.

The bottom line? Raycroft and Toskala both suck.

That's it, that's all, I'm done. Sorry, Raycroft. I'll see you in hell.

Now, to bring it all back to the title of the post, and to try and erase Raycroft the goalie who shall never again be named from our collective psyches, London, Ontario's own ShadK ...

Housekeeping:

You'll notice that the comments section has changed around here; no more pop-up window. It's all now done within the post. If you loathe change, let me know; we can always return to the good old days. Your feedback would be appreciated. Remember: without you, there would be no blog.

Well, there would be. But no one would be reading it. And what the fuck's the point of that?

Virtual Raycrap

EA Sports' NHL 09 is, hands down, the most realistic hockey video game. Ever.

Check out the video below (the goalie is none other than my good friend Andrew Raycroft) ...

  

 

I was the Calgary Flames' defenceman, rounding the net. There were but four seconds left on the clock. I fired it. 

And what do you know? Good old Raycrap.

Well done, folks at EA Sports. Well done ...

Deep Thoughts...

Chris Bosh, a deadbeat dad? Let's hope not. No matter what happens, his problems will never be as bad as Travis Henry's ...

Rob Iracane of the fine Walkoff Walk, where Lloyd the Barber of Ghostrunner on First fame (read this; I guarantee you'll subscribe to GoF when you're done) resides on the weekends, thinks the Toronto Blue Jays will finish last in the AL East this season. He's wrong. Simple as that ...

Points wise, Jason Blake is having the second-best season of his career. Fist pumps all around. They're on me ...

Dave Feschuk and Michael Grange have written a book called "Leafs AbomiNation." It will be sold for $19.67. Of the two authors, which do you think thought of the sticker price? ...

Sobering statistic alert: Post NHL lockout, I'm talking almost four full seasons, Toronto Maple Leafs goalies have 10 shutouts. Columbus' Steve Mason recorded his tenth of this season last night against Calgary ...

Incredibly joyous statistic alert: Andrew Raycroft allowed four goals on eight shots Wednesday night against Anaheim. Raycrap's save percentage, at .889, is now lower than Vesa Toskala's .891. I told you, the universe is wise ...

I can admit it: I'm officially worried about the Jays' rotation. But Toronto's still winning the pennant. It's going to be quite the fairytale-like story. Something to tell the grand kids ...

I believe Pavel Kubina will still be a Maple Leaf come training camp in September. And I wouldn't be opposed to him wearing the captain's "C"next season ...

The NHL's MVP debate is heating up. I love Alexander Ovechkin, but Geno Malkin gets my meaningless vote ...

Right about now is when I get really sick and tired of spring training. I can't wait until opening day. If you're looking for a ticket, holla at ya boy, I've got plenty ...

Andrew Raycroft's career...

Encapsulated in one picture.

Beautiful, isn't it? I thought so too. 

A Pulitzer is in order.

(Full disclosure: this picture now hangs in my cubicle.)

The Raycrap Report Vol. 9: It's happening...

You know, I went a whole month without writing one of these. It was good. A much needed respite from the goaltending disease known as Andrew Joseph Ernest Raycroft.

But my man in Colorado has been playing some games. Poorly, of course. And I think we all knew it was only a matter of time before that happened.

Anyway, I've decided that I'm not going to be so hard on Raycroft anymore. He's a terrible goalie. I think we all get it. Life goes on.

The only thing that matters from here on out is that, so as to keep the laws of the universe in proper working order, Vesa Toskala finishes the season with a higher save percentage than Raycroft. That's it.

And as you might have noticed, there now exists a sidebar on your right called "The Interns of the Iced Igloos," in honour of the one and only Joe Bowen. That's where I'm keeping score.

Thanks to a meagre .877 save percentage in his last four games (three losses and a no-decision), Raycroft's down to .894 on the season. Toskala, after his stellar February, is only half a percentage point behind him.

Well done, Vesa. You're almost there, my Finnish friend.

It's happening. The universe is righting itself. And it's a beautiful thing.

Deadline Day

It's tomorrow. And it's kind of a big deal.

Are you giddy with excitement? Or are you, like me, praying that come 3:00 PM eastern time on Wednesday, Tomas Kaberle is still a Toronto Maple Leaf? 

Look, you don't trade a guy with that much talent, at that price tag ($4.25 million), when you know the salary cap will be coming down. Period.

Plus, we need him for our PLAYOFFS! run.

Anyway, if you're hanging out on the internetz tomorrow, my man Down Goes Brown will be live-blogging the festivities, beginning first thing in the morning. Join him. And if he makes any rental player jokes about Mats Sundin, give him hell.

The Raycrap Report Vol. 8: Walking on Sunshine...

Sorry mates. I wanted to write this post on Friday, but I was stuck up on cloud nine. I don't know about you, but in the aftermath of the beating the Maple Leafs laid on Andrew Raycroft, I was beaming. It just felt great to be alive.

Seven goals. On 30 shots. A truly Raycroftian performance. And I enjoyed every bloody minute of it.

I took in the festivities at a local establishment. I was hoping for the best, but prepared for the worst (read: I was drinking). Thankfully, in a 4-4 game, Raycroft did in the third period what he does best: suck.

Now, let's not kid ourselves. A goaltending duel the game most certainly was not. Raycroft made only 23 saves, while Vesa Toskala was whorishly bad as well, getting in front of only 16 of the 20 shots he faced.

But, like I wrote about in my previous post, Thursday night wasn't about the Vesa. He was awful (I think Cujo - Cujo! - could have stopped that Hejduk wraparound in the second period), but Raycroft was even sluttier.

Of course, as is the case when any team plays Raycrap, slumps were broken. Nik Antropov scored for the first time in 17 games, Mickey Grabs got off the snide after 12, and Matt Stajan scored his first goal in eight contests. Hell, even Jeff Finger got in on the act. And, don't look now, but Jason Blake, with another three points, is a point away from becoming Toronto's leading scorer this season.

Andrew Raycroft: the greatest slump-breaker in the game today. If only the Leafs could play against him more often.

Thanks to the Maple Leafs, Raycroft's goals against average now sits at 3.01, and his save percentage is back where it belongs, below the .900 threshold, at .895. Way to make me proud, boys. And way to get up for the big game, Andrew.

You know, Thursday night's game might have been the highlight of the season for me. By the time it was all said and done, I was in my happy place. So much so that I picked up the tab for the boys. It had to be done. It was a celebration - or rather, vindication - after all.

The Raycrap Report Vol. 7: We Meet Again...

Dear Andrew Raycroft,

I must admit, I love that picture. It's actually my new desktop background. It looks like you've been shot. If only I could be so lucky.

I kid, I kid. Calm down. I hate you, but that doesn't mean I wish a drive-by shooting upon you. I'm not a psycho, man.

So, tonight, we finally meet again. I won't lie; I've had this game circled on my calendar for some time.

As of this morning, I'm not sure if you'll actually be between the pipes tonight. It would be a shame if you're on the bench, but I wouldn't be surprised. You don't exactly come across as the most motivated cat, and that's one of your biggest problems. If I were you, I'd be on my knees begging to play tonight. I'd be desperate to prove to Leafs management, and prove to fans just like me, that you are not an epic failure of a goalie.

You know, Andrew, I don't hate many former Leafs. In fact, you're probably the only one. And I've often wondered why.

I think, deep down, it goes back to the end of the 2006/2007 season. You were pulled from the final, most important, game of the regular season, and the Leafs ended up missing the playoffs. Yet you had the nerve to tell everyone you were happy with your season. Happy with your 2.99 GAA and .894 save percentage.

I've never forgiven you for that. I likely never will.

You're a Belleville, Ontario boy, and were playing goal for the mother fucking Toronto Maple Leafs. You were living the dream. You should have taken it more seriously. You should have wanted it more. You should have been pissed off about missing the post-season.

You know, I feel a great sense of irony as I write this, because Vesa Toskala has turned into the goaltending equivalent of a dirty slut; he's turned into you. His numbers, frightening as they are, are actually worse than yours from 06/07. He looks apathetic in the crease, and every bad goal that goes past him is, well, just another bad goal that goes past him. It pains me how much he reminds me of you.

I've lost a lot of faith in Vesa this season. I don't think he's the goalie I thought he was. But tonight isn't about Vesa. It's about you. The Leafs can lose every game the rest of the way out, but I'll be happy as long as they win - as long as they beat you - tonight.

It's not even about revenge. It's about giving a damn. You never did. You bastard.

And my offer from weeks ago still stands: if you finish the season with better numbers than Toskala, that's it, I'm done, I'll never speak ill of you again.

You know, there haven't been a lot of games to get up for so far in this difficult and trying season, but tonight's one of them. I'll be rooting for my Leafs like it's a playoff game tonight.

Here's hoping you're in the crease, and that the red goal light behind you shatters from overuse.

Good luck. May the shitty goalie who least resembles a slut with an open five-hole win.

Go to hell,

eyebleaf

*This letter has been graciously cross-posted by my good friend PPP over at Pension Plan Puppets. Go there, and sign up for an account. It's one big, happy family group therapy session, and Maple Leafs blogging headquarters.

*UPDATE*

Raycroft's playing. It's on.

The Raycrap Report Vol. 6: The Streak's Over

Andrew Raycroft finally lost a game. His seven game winning streak is officially in the rear view mirror. The universe, clearly, is back to normal.

In typical Raycrap fashion, he blew a great opportunity for himself. All but ready to take over the bulk of the Avalanche goaltending duties from Peter Budaj, Raycroft was his Raycroftian self, allowing four goals on 27 shots in the loss to the Columbus Blue Jackets.

I anticipate he'll be back on the bench on Thursday night when Colorado visits St. Louis.

Like I alluded to above, the universe is wise.

The Raycrap Report Vol. 4: Is This Really Happening?

Is this all just a bad dream? Am I, perhaps, lost in the matrix? Is it really possible that Andrew Raycroft made 43 saves last night in a 2-1 victory over the Chicago Blackhawks, owners of the second most prolific offence in the Western Conference?

It is possible.

Forty-three saves. A career high.

Six wins in a row. Tying a career high.

I am speechless. I have no speech. 

Seriously, though, I cannot believe how Raycrap's fortunes have turned. Think about it; Andrew Raycroft, 8-1, with a .908 save percentage. It's insane. My worst nightmare - Raycroft picking up the shattered pieces of his pathetic career - is coming true right before my very eyes.

To make matters worse, Vesa Toskala's five-hole, much like a cheap, dirty hooker, was once again open for business last night. Vesa, who allowed five goals on 21 shots and was pulled after 40 minutes, is really buying into the whole "Show me your V" marketing campaign from Versus.

The Maple Leafs went into action last night with the league's lowest save percentage, coming in at 87.7%. After yesterday's debacle at the hands of the Canadiens, that number is going to, unfathomably, go even lower.

You know what? Raycroft and Toskala are both sucking the life, and the fun, out of this whole "Raycrap Report" thing.

If it were socially acceptable to have a drink in the morning, I'd probably pour myself one today.

Instead, I think I'm going to stick to the orange juice sans vodka and head to work.

Happy fucking Friday.

The Raycrap Report Vol. 3: Dear Vesa Toskala,

No, Vesa, I didn't photoshop that picture. That is Andrew Raycroft making a glove save on Marty St. Louis. In a shootout, no less.

Raycroft won again last night, Vesa. No, I'm not fucking around. Check the box score, bro. That's seven wins for him this season. Yep, half as many as you have. And you've started 34 games compared to his nine.

You know what else? His 2.71 GAA blows your 3.27 out the frame. But fuck the goals against average. We all know it's the save percentage that really matters. Well, the news isn't good on that front either, my friend. Raycroft's sporting a .894 to your .885. Almost a full percentage point better than you.

No, Vesa, I don't want to hear it. I don't care if the Avalanche are scoring goals for him. In his last five games, Raycroft's allowed only 11 goals, and won them all. Where has that type of consistency been from you? Where, dammit?

This is tough for me, man. You have to know that. Here I am, the guy telling people not to boo Bryan McCabe, now comparing you to Andrew Raycroft, the one guy I hate with every fibre of my being.

You've let me down, Vesa. I've been one of your biggest supporters, and one of your ardent defenders. But how long can I carry on this charade? After 34 games this season with you between the pipes, I don't think I can say that you're a legitimate number one goalie. I'm sorry.

It makes me sick to my stomach that the Leafs are, once again, one of the worst defensive teams in the league. It makes me nauseous to see that the team is killing penalties at an absolutely unacceptable 73% success rate. As much as I complain about Ron Wilson not being able to change the defensive and penalty killing fortunes of this team, I know that a big part of those dastardly numbers are, well, weak goaltending. Like Will Smith said, "Yo fault."

Look, I'm not saying Raycroft is a number one goalie. Even my Dadima knows he's not. But I don't care how many more games you play than that rat bastard, your numbers, especially your save percentage, have to be better than his.

It's time to look in the mirror, my Finnish friend. If your groin is hurt, tell Ron Wilson you need some time, and let the God damn injury heal. There's no point trotting you out there every night if you're going to give us pathetic goaltending. I mean, we've got Curtis Joseph for that.

You were supposed to be one of the few bright spots on this team this season, Vesa. You were supposed to be one of our "assets." Half the season is in the books, and you're having the worst season of your career, bar none. It's time to start giving a damn.

With love,

eyebleaf

The Raycrap Report Vol. 2: Day Of Reckoning

When I heard that Andrew Raycroft would be between the pipes for Colorado last night against the Detroit Red Wings, I immediately went out and bought a party hat, and put some Bambino on ice. 

You see, I figured Raycroft was going to get shelled with the loss (I was thinking seven goals on 35 shots), waived this morning, and be languishing in the minors, where he belongs, by tonight.

I was ready for a celebration. Ready for sweet justice to be served. Ready for Raycroft to be outed once and for all as the fraudulent goaltender that I know he is.

Instead, much to my dismay (and not really to my surprise), the game didn't exactly go the way I thought it would.

Raycroft shone like never before. Or at least like he hasn't shone in a long, long, really long time. He stopped 34 of 36 shots, including 14 of 15 in the third period, and kept Detroit's top-ranked power play - humming along at 29.2% going into yesterday's game - at bay through five opportunities. Raycroft's nine saves on the penalty kill were huge, and he was, unfathomably, named the game's first star.

Andrew Raycroft. Named number one star. Let that sink in for a second.

Has that ever even happened before? I'm way too lazy to check and find out, but I'm going to have to say no. Needless to say, it was an out of body experience for the much-maligned Avalanche goaltender. It had to have been. It's the only rational explanation.

To add insult to injury, Raycrap's win came against, well, the Detroit Red Wings. You know, the defending Stanley Cup champion Detroit Red Wings. And in Detroit, to boot, where the Wings had won five in a row.

Un-fucking-believable.

Mind-blowingly, Raycroft has now won four of the five games he's started for Colorado this season. Lest you forget, that's double his win total of last season with the Maple Leafs. Thanks to his epic performance last night, our good friend Andrew Joseph Ernest is now sporting a tidy .870 save percentage along with his four glorious victories.

Curtis Joseph, on the other hand, has yet to win a game, and is walking around with a pathetic .851 save percentage to his name.

I was dreading this day. The day Cujo's save percentage is actually lower than Raycroft's. It has arrived, and I think I'm going to be sick.

The Raycrap Report Vol. 1: Schadenfreude

Andrew Raycroft must moonlight as a magician. Somehow, someway, he has managed to convince the good folks down in Colorado that he is still an NHL calibre goalie. David Blaine would be impressed.

This is the beginning of a new feature at Sports And The City - The Raycrap Report - where we follow the struggles of every Toronto Maple Leafs fan's favourite former goalie: Andrew Joseph Ernest Raycroft. It's schadenfreude at its finest, my friends.

I know, I could have (and probably should have) called it The Raycroft Report, but, well, no. That's a little too mature for my taste, thank you very much. 

I've got to tip my cap to MF37, or The Sage as I like to call him, over at Bitter Leaf Fan Page for providing the inspiration for The Raycrap Report. MF37 is a calm, cool and collected individual. He writes a great blog, and is one of the few Leafs fans I know who is able to maintain a relatively even keel when it comes to our frustrating Leafs. He doesn't get all emotional like me. He is the alter-eyebleaf.

But even MF37 has hatred for Andrew Raycroft:

"I would eat up a Raycroft Report with a freakin' spoon. Even if he was playing road hockey with his kids and let in a softy I'd be happy to wallow in it. That rat bastard Raycroft necessitated the deal for Toskala and in total cost the franchise Rask, 1, 2, 4 round picks and a shot at the playoffs."

When MF37 is calling someone a "rat bastard," you know it's serious business.

Here in Toronto, we paid a heavy, heavy price for Raycroft. Countless, mindless casualties. The above is all that we have left: bitterness. And it spares no one; all of us have got it. I happen to be the poster child. And all of it stems from only two years and 90 odd games of #1 in the net. It's rather remarkable, really, when you think about it.

Also equally remarkable is the fact that Raycroft has already equalled his win total of last season: two. I know, he deserves a fresh batch of cookies from the ladies. His stats, however, are downright pathetic.

Raycroft was ravaged in his latest start on October 30th against Columbus, allowing four goals on only 14 shots. He was back on the bench, where he belongs, to begin the third period. One of the goals was scored from behind the goal line. Another two were scored high, glove side. Imagine that.

Raycroft's save percentage, you ask? .839. Ten goals allowed on 62 shots. And a 3.76 GAA. In the two games he was victorious, the Avs scored 10 goals. Yep, that's about right.

I'm not sure how much longer Raycroft can keep the wool pulled over the eyes of Avalanche management. He doesn't belong in the NHL, and I think it's only a matter of time before the Avalanche bus leaves without him. 

Anyone up for a $20 wager? I'm calling Tuesday, November 18th. By that day, Raycroft will have been sent to the minors, waived, or injured in a "freak accident." Holla!

Curtis Joseph may be looking every bit like the 41-year-old he is between the pipes for Toronto right now, but even he is no Raycroft. There is only one.

Chin up, poor Avalanche fans. I know what you're going through. Don't worry, soon your nightmare will be over.

Stay tuned for another installment of The Raycrap Report. I doubt there will be too many more.

Vintage Raycrap

Andrew Raycroft made his home debut in Colorado last night and showed the Avalanche faithful what we in Toronto, and even folks in Boston, already know: he sucks.

My advice to fans of the Avalanche? Get used to it. Raycroft is the definition of awful, atrocious, pathetic goaltending. While my heart does go out to Colorado supporters, I can't help but feel an overarching sense of joy that Raycrap no longer calls Toronto home.

I know it's only pre-season action, but Raycroft looked in mid-season form last night, allowing six goals on only 23 shots to the Chicago Blackhawks. That's a 0.739 save percentage, my friends. That is brutal. Raycroft's expectations in Colorado might just be lower than Sarah Palin's. Yes, he's that bad.

I still don't understand what the hell management in Colorado was thinking when they signed Raycroft to a one year deal worth $800,000. He's an impostor. He's certainly no goalie. A goalie is supposed to stop pucks. It's part of the fucking job description! Raycrap fooled the Bruins, he most certainly fooled Toronto, and he was one of the major reasons former Leafs GM John Ferguson Jr. lost his job (actually, I probably owe Raycrap some props for that). 

All that being said, only one thing is clear: they've got some pretty solid drugs down in the Denver area. It's the only explanation I can come up with as to why Raycroft still has a job in the NHL. He shouldn't. His signing, even though it was only worth $800 K, was arguably the worst in hockey history. Yes, worse than the Jeff Finger contract. Way worse.

You know, I honestly don't know why I get joy out of seeing Raycrap struggle.

I just do.

Hockey's Back

You see that guy? No, not Dan Cleary, fool. The psycho fan. While I'm not sure it's even possible, I might be more excited than him today. Hockey's back, bitches.

That's right friends. After a long, long off-season, apparently not long enough for some people, training camp opens today. Players won't be hitting the ice as physicals and fitness tests are the order of the day but, well, still. Hockey is back.

A New Era

For the first time since the lockout-shortened 1995 season, Mats Sundin will not break camp with the Toronto Maple Leafs. He won't be there tomorrow, and that's pretty fucked up. While I have made peace with Sundin's summer of indecision and will support any decision he eventually makes, it's going to be strange seeing the Leafs prepare for the new season without their captain, without their voice, and without their leader.

If Mats comes back, great. If he goes elsewhere, I hope he finds happiness and a ring along the way. What I don't want is for Sundin to be the topic of discussion at camp. He shouldn't be. He's not here. The douchebags who cover the Leafs main stream media need to let the Sundin story die, because it's no longer a story. When the man makes up his mind, he'll let us know. The post-Mats Sundin era officially begins today. It's time to look forward, and no longer back.

I'm looking forward to getting a look at some of the new kids on the block. Is Nikolai Kulemin the real deal? Will Jeff Finger absolutely crumble trying to play up to his new contract? Will Mikhail Grabovski prove to be an addition over Kyle Wellwood? God knows it won't take much.

I'm looking forward to seeing how Jason Blake responds after living through a year of hockey player hell in Toronto. I'm looking forward to seeing Niklas Hagman in a Leafs uniform - can he put up another 27 goals? I'm looking forward to finding out whether this is the year Alex Steen becomes a star, and whether Nik Antropov can play another another season relatively injury free (he played 72 games last season, tying his career high).

I'm looking forward to seeing the development of Anton Stralman and Jiri Tlusty. And looking forward to less - actually, zero - nudey Tlusty pictures. I'm looking forward to seeing hometown boy Jamal Mayers suit up in the blue and white, and seeing Pavel Kubina pick up where he left off last season. I'm looking forward to watching the Poni Express ride again, and another magical season from the greatest defenceman in the league Tomas Kaberle, hopefully the next captain of our beloved team.

Speaking of the captaincy, the next person who brings up Matt Stajan in the discussion is getting a kick to the groin. Stajan is shit. He is not captain material. He never will be. I'm afraid he'll never be anything more than a third-liner (not that there's anything wrong with that). 

I'm looking forward to seeing how Vesa Toskala does between the pipes. He was awful in camp and the pre-season last year, and this team needs him like a crackhead needs a hit: every fucking night. He must be consistently consistent.

I'm also looking forward to seeing Curtis Joseph back in a Leafs uniform. No hard feelings, bud.

Most of all, I'm looking forward to some defence. 

"Everyone in Toronto - from the fans to the media to the players - seems to be concerned with who is going to score. I'm more concerned with preventing goals." 

- Ron Wilson

Damn. Imagine that. 

Unbridled Optimism

I'm excited about the Leafs' chances this season, which should come as a surprise to absolutely no one. I think they'll be better than a lot of people expect them to be. Just like I have the last three years (and we all know how those season's ended). 

Honestly, though, I'm thinking we can fight for that last playoff spot again, you know, like we normally do. Last season, the Leafs finished with 83 points (Florida had 85, how fucked up is that?) carrying the deadly virus known as Andrew Raycroft, who, lest you have forgotten, won only two games all year. Think about it, Raycrap actually started on opening night last year. Raycrap. On opening night. With Vesa Toskala on the bench. Against Ottawa. I still can't believe it.

With expectations, both internal and external, for this year's Maple Leafs so low they are actually below the ground, I figure I might as well call them to surprise the world and squeak into the playoffs. If I'm right, I'm the smartest mother fucker on the planet. If I'm wrong, my awful reputation credibility as a pathetic homer only improves. It's a win-win situation. To tax the saying from the Toronto Blue Jays blog-o-sphere: PLAYOFFS!

The Sundin Haters Keep Hating

The cause celebre of the media and bloggers these days is to question the leadership of former Toronto Maple Leafs captain Mats Sundin. Funny, I thought we had buried this topic years ago.

I guess not. New Leafs head coach Ron Wilson didn't mention Sundin by name, but it was clear he had Mats in mind, among others, when he said the Leafs have lacked leadership the last three years.

Bloggers like Down Goes Brown (quel surprise!) and TorontoSportsMedia's Weblog have picked up on the issue of Sundin's apparent lack of leadership. 

Of course, Sundin's tenure in Toronto is now only defined by the last three shitty years, and everything else has been thrown out the window. That's how it works here in Toronto. When things were going well and the team was making the playoffs, Sundin's leadership was never in question. He proved his worth and he always had the unequivocal support of his teammates.

But, post-lockout, the Leafs have been a mess. And it's Mats' fault. Because he ain't no leader.

Oh, so that's why the Leafs have missed the playoffs the last three years. It was Mats. He was just enjoying himself and letting the dressing room become a "country club." It had nothing to do with the fact that the Leafs, post-lockout, have been one of the worst defensive teams in the league, at or near the bottom in goals against average, save percentage, and penalty killing. Gotcha.

Let's take a look at some sobering statistics from the last three years, starting with last season and moving backwards, with the teams NHL ranking in parenthesis. All stats are courtesy of ESPN, the worldwide leader in mother fuckin' sports.

2007/2008

GAA: 3.12 (27th)

Save %age:  89.3 (29th)

PK %age: 78.2 (29th)

2006/2007

GAA: 3.20 (25th)

Save %age: 88.8 (27th)

PK %age: 78.5 (27th)

2005/2006

GAA: 3.21 (20th)

Save %age: 89.5 (18th)

PK %age: 80% (23rd)

Those numbers should keep you up at night. I'm a huge Vesa Toskala fan, but it's pretty fucked up to see a higher save percentage in 05/06 when Ed Belfour, Mikael Tellqvist and J.S. Aubin split the goaltending duties. In retrospect, Raycrap's 87.6 save percentage is largely to blame. Seriously, Colorado, good luck with that shit.

I'll be the first to admit that Toskala's 90.4 save percentage last season was good, but by no means great. He's got to be better. But so does the team in front of him. On way too many nights, he had no help, and was left out to dry. But that was Sundin's fault, of course. 

Looking at those numbers from the last three years, it's clear that the Leafs' struggles began and ended in the dressing room, and because Sundin wore the "C" on his shoulder, the onus falls on him. The team's struggles had nothing to do with the fact that the Leafs, under Paul Maurice, couldn't keep the puck out of their net, had no idea how to kill a God damn penalty, and received AHL-calibre goaltending from their starting goalies in 05/06 and 06/07, and beer league calibre goaltending from their backup in 07/08.

It wasn't enough that Mats was producing at better than a point-per-game rate post lockout - 78 points in 70 games in 05/06, 76 points in 75 games in 06/07, and 78 points in 74 games last season. I guess he should have been out there killing every penalty, and should have been on the ice for the entire third period, when the Leafs loved to blow their leads. You know that +17 rating he sported last year? Yeah, that one. Fuck it. Just toss it out the window. Or ignore it. You pick.

I guess, in retrospect, at some point over the last three years the coaching staff should have just handed Mats the pads and put him between the pipes. Maybe that would have been enough for people in this city to finally put the bloody leadership questions to rest.

The statistics above tell you all you need to know about your Toronto Maple Leafs. Fuck leadership. Fuck questioning Mats Sundin. Enough already. Until this team learns how to play some defence, learns how to kill penalties, or stops taking them altogether, and begins to support their goaltender, they will not make the playoffs. When the team is able to play with confidence in its own end, and is not afraid to take a penalty in a hockey game, leadership, regardless of who is wearing the "C," - even if it is, aghast, a Swedish fellow - will take care of its God damn self.

"I Hate Andrew Raycroft"

It's not often I check to see how people stumble upon this website. Frankly, I'm amazed that people visit at all. If you enjoy - this one's for you Greener - this corner of the interweb, I'm humbled. Thanks for stopping by.

Anyway, yesterday I was perusing through some of the site's statistics and came across a nugget of information that, well, made my day, and I'd love to share it with you.

Someone came across good old Sports And The City using the Yahoo! search engine. Here's their search query: "I Hate Andrew Raycroft."

You see, a beautiful search query like that one, which brings someone to my blog, makes all of this worthwhile. Clearly I have succeeded in letting the world know how little I think of former Toronto Maple Leafs quasi-goaltender Andrew Raycrap.

The bloggage has not been done in vain.

Enjoy Raycroft in an Avalanche uniform you poor, poor Colorado fans.

How'd We Do?

The eye of the storm has passed. The frenzied part of the NHL's free agency period is over. So, do I like what Grandpa Cliff Fletcher and the Toronto Maple Leafs have done? Of course I do.

Instead of writing about the Leafs' moves in an emotional, and inebriated, state on July 1st, I decided to let a couple of days pass. I was actually just really lazy, but, hey, I'm sure you feel me.

Only one player from my free agent wish list is on his way to Toronto. Curtis Joseph, welcome back, my man.

I was a huge, huge Cujo fan back in the day. Until he left for Detroit on his quest to win a Stanley Cup ring. Much to my surprise, a column I wrote entitled "Breaking Up Is Hard To Do," back in 2003 for On The Wall Magazine, is still up online.

Basically, I loved Cujo, hated him after he left, wished ill upon him and his family, fell in love with Ed Belfour, and revelled in the fact that Cujo wasn't able to get a ring. Petty and bitter, I know. What can I say, it was an emotional time.

Years have passed. I've grown up. It's all water under the bridge now. It's evident that Cujo's quest for a ring has ended, hence his signing back here in Toronto, but it's going to be fun seeing him back in the crease at the ACC. He had some phenomenal years in Toronto and is the perfect back-up for Vesa Toskala. He knows his role.

Cujo's signing also means that Justin Pogge will be the number one guy and play the majority of games, in both the regular season and - especially - the playoffs, for the Toronto Marlies, and I'm all over that.

It has taken a few days, but I've rationalized the signing of Jeff Finger to a $14 million, 4-year contract. It took a while, and some deep soul searching, but I've done it. Don't get me wrong, it was a struggle.

Just when I thought I was happy about it, I went and read this. It was, needless to say, extremely disheartening. Could the Maple Leafs have actually confused Jeff Finger with Kurt Sauer? Like Kevin Garnett said a few weeks ago, "anything is possible." I mean, we're talking about the Toronto Maple Leafs here. If DeVry's motto is "We're serious about success," then the Toronto Maple Leafs' motto is "We're serious about incompetence." Being a Leafs fan has taught me that I can never, ever, ever, put anything past the clowns that run this franchise. They are capable of worldly acts of idiocy, including mistaking Jeff Finger for Kurt Sauer, and if it's true, Fletcher is every bit as old as he looks.

Anyway, after I learned of the actual terms of Finger's contract (originally I thought the deal was 4-years, $3.75 million total, not per year), saw that he's rated only 68 in NHL 2008 on my XBOX 360, I curled up in the corner of my bedroom and had a good cry. I then sat around trying to justify his presence on the Maple Leafs blue line.

Firstly, let's throw the terms of his contract out the window. It's a fucked up contract. Let's not pull any punches here. You know it. I know it. We all know it. Before Tuesday afternoon, none of us knew who this cat was - OK, except MF37 - and come Tuesday night, none of us could believe the terms of the deal. But such is the beast known as free agency. Everyone overpays. There is nothing free about free agency.

Before I go on, I've got to get something off my chest. It's really bothering me. In all seriousness, how is it possible that Andrew Raycroft was signed by the Colorado Avalanche? How!? Am I dreaming? How could they give him a contract? How could they agree to pay him $800,000? Did they not see him in action last year? Did they not see any videotape? Did they not check out YouTube? Do the Colorado Avalanche have scouts? No, really, does Colorado have scouts? Unbelievable. All I know is that whatever they are smoking down in Colorado, I want a sample. Please. It has got to be some unbelievable, "holy-shit-let's-sign-Andrew-fucking-Raycroft" type shit.

Back to Finger. Like I said, forget about the terms of the deal. Block it out of your mind. Forever. It's easier that way. Finger is a good signing because a defensive defenceman cannot, in any way, shape, or form, hurt the Toronto Maple Leafs. Think about it. A shutdown guy who loves to take the body and block shots. How can that be a bad thing?

The Leafs currently employ two defencemen who are allergic to playing the body, sort of like how seven-foot tall Andrea Bargnani is allergic to rebounding. They could do it. They just don't want to. I'm not going to name names, but playing the body is simply not part of Tomas Kaberle and Anton Stralman's game. Not that there's anything wrong with that. They're great defencemen, and huge parts of the team going forward.

The Leafs also currently employ a defenceman who loves playing the body, but who when he does so, costs himself about half or two-thirds of his season. Again, I'm not going to name names, but if Carlo Colaiacovo injures himself trying to body check an opponent this season, I'm not going to be pleased.

If you're counting, that's two defencemen who don't take the body, and one who injures himself in the process. Three out of six. That's why Jeff Finger cannot hurt being on the Leafs' blue line. Sure, we overpaid, but look at the coin Brook Orpiks got, and he's a shutdown guy who's -29 over his career. I know, he's got more experience, but, well, that -29 isn't exactly a good "shutting down" track record.

And don't tell me about Hal Gill, either. He's gone. I know, he was a shut down defenceman too, and now we're paying Finger more than Gill, but he's gone. We must turn the page. Like I said, I've justified Finger's presence on our blue line, and I'm at peace with my decision.

Niklas Hagman was Grandpa's other signing on July 1st. The money - $12 million over four years - is fair, and he brings speed, decent finish, and solid penalty killing ability to the squad. Welcome to hell, Hagman. Enjoy your stay. We expect nothing less than 27 goals you scored for the Dallas Stars last season.

Grandpa Fletcher also made a trade yesterday with the Montreal Canadiens, sending some dude we just drafted and a second-round pick in 2010 the Habs' way. In return, the Leafs get Mikhail Grabovski, a flashy, 24-year-old centre with tons of potential and who's been successful in the AHL. Grabovski's a free agent and the next order of business will be for Fletcher to get his name on a contract. All signs point to Grabovski being a big part of next year's Leafs squad. He'll get every opportunity to play a big role, and here's calling him pushing Matt Stajan further down the depth chart, where he belongs (Stajan will never be more than a third-line player).

Expect Damiex Cox, among others I'm sure, to be bitching about how the Leafs gave up yet another prospect and draft choice in a trade, but we're not getting a veteran in return here. We're getting a young player who's already had a taste of the NHL and who knows what it's going to take in order to belong. There's a big, big difference between trading a second-round draft choice for an aging Yanic Perreault and trading a second-round draft choice for a guy like Grabovski. Keep that in mind when you read your regular dose of Leafs/Fletcher bashage today, tomorrow, and in the days to come.

Good Riddance

Another thrilling episode of "Survivor: Toronto Maple Leafs" edition took place on Friday. The tribe (read: Cliff Fletcher) has once again spoken. Thankfully - no, mercifully - Andrew Raycroft has been voted off the island.

It's a joyous occasion, my friends. In making arguably the easiest decision in the history of mankind, the man known as "Raycrap" has been bought out of the final year of his contract by the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Scheduled to earn $2.2 million next season, the Leafs will take a salary cap hit for the next two years of...you know what, I don't even know. And it doesn't even matter. It's worth it. I don't care how much we're on the hook for, it's worth it.

Andrew Raycroft will never again play goal for the Toronto Maple Leafs. Say it with me. Say it out loud. Believe it, man, because it's true.

"Andrew Raycroft will never again play goal for the Toronto Maple Leafs!"

Oh man, it feels great. It's a great day. Oh yes, forget the dollars and cents, it's worth it. A buyout worth every last fucking penny.

You know, I'm sure Raycroft is actually a swell guy. I'm sure he's someone who takes pride in what he does and who wants to succeed. But, man, his tenure in Toronto was so bloody awful that I can't help but feel happy now that he's heading towards the exit. I wish him well, I truly do. It's clear that he simply didn't possess the mental toughness to play goal in Toronto, one of the most difficult places to play. While I doubt he'll get another job in the NHL, I hope he can get a job in the minors and work on his game because, well, his game needs a lot of work. Here's hoping the dude lands back on his feet. For an Ontario boy who fulfilled a dream by lacing 'em up for the Toronto Maple Leafs, how it all played out has got to leave a bad taste in his mouth.

Sort of like the foul taste in the mouth of all the Leafs fans who watched him play these last two years.

In my mind, Raycroft will forever be tied to the John Ferguson Jr. era here in Toronto. JFJ made some incredibly stupid moves as general manager of the Leafs - such as, oh, I don't know, handing out no-trade clauses like fucking Halloween candy - but the Raycroft for Tuukka Rask trade might go down as his worst.

It was one thing to take a chance on Raycroft two summers ago. He had a phenomenal season in 2003/2004 and won the rookie of the year award. In the post-lockout season he was hampered by injury. When it was evident here in T.O. that Ed Belfour had reached the end of the line, the Leafs needed a goalie, and Raycroft became the man. When I heard we had landed Raycroft for Rask, I supported the move. With two blue-chip goaltending prospects in our system (Justin Pogge and Rask), one of them was obviously expendable, and I had high hopes for Raycroft to return to form.

What I'll never understand is why JFJ handed Raycroft a new contract - a 3-year, $6 million pact - before he even played a game in the blue and white. Instead of letting Raycroft go out and prove himself and earn the number one job, JFJ handed him the keys to the car. It was the worst decision he could have made. Even though he won 37 games two seasons ago (I still can't grasp my head around this fact), Raycroft stank. He let in soft goal after soft goal and was yanked from the crease in the biggest game of the year with a playoff spot on the line. Only one year after he was acquired for an incredibly high price, it was obvious Raycroft wasn't up to the task of manning the crease in Toronto and JFJ had to go out and get another goalie, and deal another first-round pick in the process.

I'm not even going to bother getting into Raycrap's most recent season. I've blocked most of it out of my memory. All you need to know is that he won two of the 19 games he played. With an NHL-calibre backup goalie, the Leafs might have made the playoffs.

Vesa Toskala has, thank God, worked out for Toronto (and JFJ, that moron, handed him a contract extension before he played a game for the Leafs, too), but JFJ really deserves a bitch slap for giving Raycroft that extension. In the end, it doesn't even matter whether Rask turns into a solid NHL goalie, even though all signs are pointing towards him doing just that. Raycroft was a monumental, colossal, epic, mammoth, mistake. Raycrap's shitty legacy in Toronto will forever be tied to JFJ's even shittier legacy.

Alas, what's done is done. What matters is that Raycroft, say it with me one more time, will never play goal for the Toronto Maple Leafs again. Another one of JFJ's wrongs has been righted.

Thank you, Cliff Fletcher. Thank you so much.

Cheers, Darcy Tucker

I think it's safe to say that Cliff Fletcher wasn't fucking around when he vowed to change the face of the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey club going into next season.

Darcy Tucker is Fletcher's latest victim, bought out of the remaining three years of his contract, his career in the blue and white over, just like that.

While I knew it was definitely within the realm of possibilities that Tucker could be bought out, the news that it was actually going down still floored me.

Darcy Tucker. Darcy fuckin' Tucker. My boy. The man I've adored ever since the Leafs acquired him years ago for the lousy Mike Johnson. What a steal. And what a player. It's hard to believe I'll never see #16 lace 'em up again in Toronto colours. It's a sad day. I will truly miss him.

For Darcy, it all came down to his contract. Of all the guys with no-trade clauses in their contracts going forward (Tucker, McCabe, Kubina, and Kaberle), Tucker's was the most buyout-able. With three years and $9 million left on his deal, the Leafs are now on the hook for two-thirds of it, $6 million, and are able to spread it out, $1 million a year over the next six years, against the NHL's salary cap.

In other words, the Leafs are paying Darcy Tucker $6 million to leave.

A lot of the reaction I've already read and heard has to do with Jason Blake. If Tucker is being shown the door, why is Blake still a part of the club's plans? Again, it all comes down to Blake's contract. With $16 million and four years still left on his deal, buying out his contract would cost the Leafs over $10 million against the salary cap, and Fletcher has decided that he can't go down that route.

Ditto for Bryan McCabe. He's too expensive to be given the boot.

It hasn't sunk in that Tucker is done in Toronto. It won't until training camp opens in September and he's not around. At the same time, I can understand why he was targeted. His production dipped badly last season and his defensive shortcomings were glaring. In the past three years, in which the Leafs failed to qualify for the playoffs (just in case you forgot), Tucker was a -31. He'd become a power play specialist and, last year, a predictable one at that. He's also been slowed by injuries.

Still, in my heart, Tucker was the embodiment of a Toronto Maple Leaf. He played with so much pride and passion that it was impossible not to love and appreciate him. Who can possibly forget the time he jumped right into the Ottawa Senators bench, ready to take them all on.

Darcy wore the Maple Leafs sweater with so much pride. At times, even when it was probably beneficial for him to rest his battered little frame and get healthy, he'd still go out there, because all he wanted to do was contribute and help his fellow Maple Leafs. Nothing gave the small town Alberta boy more joy than being a Toronto Maple Leaf. I truly believe he wanted nothing more than to succeed in Toronto and help deliver a long overdue Stanley Cup to this championship-starved city. That's what makes his premature departure so difficult. He didn't take off the Maple Leafs jersey he wore with such immense pride. He had it removed from his shoulders.

While I know that Tucker's injuries have taken his game down a level or two - he's "worn out," to use Coach Wilson's words - I still believed he had a role on the Leafs. His sideshow act from years gone by aside, I thought he had a lot to teach the young players who will lead the Maple Leafs into the future.

Shoaltsy at The Globe is reporting that, of course, Tucker took the news like "a real professional...who's looking forward to getting his career back on track somewhere else." I hope he lands on his feet, and I'm sure he will. Tucker has something left to give, and I hope the next city he plays hockey in appreciates him as much as those of us in Toronto did. That guy lives for the playoffs. I hope he gets back there as soon as possible, and gets his name on the Cup for all eternity.

Stay classy, Darcy. Your grit, heart, passion and determination will be sorely missed. Even though you were drafted by the Montreal Canadiens, played for the Tampa Bay Lightning, and will put on the sweater of another NHL team in the coming days, you'll always be a Toronto Maple Leaf to me...

To read Greener's tribute to Darcy Tucker over at He Score, He Shoot! click here. Sean over at Down Goes Brown thinks Tucker might be back. One day. Check out his post on #16 here.

Showing Tucker towards the exit wasn't the only order of business for Grandfather Cliff yesterday. Much to my dismay, Kyle Wellwood was placed on waivers, along with the human sieve Andrew Raycroft. Welly will likely become a free agent, while Raycroft will be bought out of his contract, because no GM, not even one drunk out of his mind, will touch that contract with a thousand-gajillion foot pole.

I'd like to take this opportunity to once again thank John Ferguson Jr. for completely butchering the Leafs for years to come thanks to the completely boneheaded contracts he handed out and ridiculous personnel decisions he made. So, umm, thanks, fucker. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

I'm honestly a little shocked the Leafs are throwing in the towel on Wellwood. Clearly we're embarking on this whole rebuild thing, yet Wellwood isn't welcome back. Why? Is it because of his injuries? His work ethic? He's only 25! Who's he going to keep a roster spot from? Boyd Devereaux? Dominic Moore? Nothing against those two, they were great waiver wire additions, but this one just doesn't make sense to me. It wouldn't have cost much to bring Wellwood back, I'm thinking $1.2 or $1.5 million, but I guess that's too rich for the Leafs. They gave Carlo Colaiacovo a raise after a season in which he was injured again and played only 48 games, but Wellwood's got to go. Right.

In a sick and twisted supportive stance of Wellwood, I hope this one comes back and bites the Leafs in the ass. History has proven that some of the smallish players, who clearly do have some skill, take a little longer to develop. Remember Steve Sullivan (props to Sean at Down Goes Brown for the reminder)? The Leafs released him for nothing, and he went on to have a pretty decent career.

Daniel Briere was put on waivers back in 2001. Every NHL team had a chance to pick him up. For nothing. None of them did. Ditto for Martin St. Louis. He was put on waivers by the Calgary Flames, went unclaimed, released, and then signed as a free agent by Tampa Bay. The rest is history.

I'm not saying Wellwood is going to become the next Briere, who was a first round draft pick and came with much higher expectations. I'm not saying he's going to be the next St. Louis, a seriously late-bloomer who slipped through everyones cracks. What I am saying, however, is that Wellwood is way better than Matt fucking Stajan!

In all honesty, I do think that Wellwood does have the potential to have a decent career in this league, much like Steve Sullivan has. I find the notion that his NHL career might be over to be a ridiculous one. Someone is going to take a chance on little Welly.

Here's hoping Kyle and Darcy both gives the Leafs a little something to regret in the coming years.

As for Raycrap, he's dead to me. Buy him out. It doesn't matter what it costs, it's worth it. Raycroft is a disease. We must be cleansed of him. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

And I must say, Cliff Fletcher is serious about success.