Jealousy Is There

The Detroit Red Wings have done it again. They are Stanley Cup champions for the fourth time in 11 years. That, my friends, is a hockey franchise with its head on straight. Oh, to be a fan of the Red Wings.

I'll admit that I was cheering for Detroit. I'm not a big Pittsburgh Penguins fan. I don't particularly like that Sidney Crosby fellow, especially his whining and diving ways. I feel like he carries an attitude of entitlement while he's on the ice, that he deserves all the calls from the stripes, and the respect of all those around him. Sorry Sidney, but you've got to earn it.

Don't get me wrong, Crosby's a great ambassador for the game, and I'm sure he'll win a number of Cup's in what will be a glorious career, but not yet. It wasn't his time.

And before I forget, Crosby's "playoff beard," if I can even call it that, is certainly to go down as the most pathetic in NHL history.

I'm also not a big fan of Pittsburgh's Maxime Talbot. He's kind of a douche. And while I know it's blasphemous for me to say so, I've realized that I can only appreciate Gary Roberts' douchebaggery when he's playing for my team. When Gary isn't in the blue and white his constant gloves to the face and cross checks to the lower back of his opponents just seem a bit, well, dirty. Yeah, I said it.

Anyway, congratulations to the Detroit Red Wings and all their spoiled fans. Four Stanley Cup's in 11 years? Ridiculous. The Wings are always classy in victory and are a model franchise for every team in the NHL, especially the Maple Leafs. I honestly can't remember the last time the Red Wings were not a competitive team. Year after year, they're at or near the top of the standings, yet they never waver from their mantra, which is to build through the draft. I hope the Leafs have been taking notes. Pages upon pages upon pages of notes.

Niklas Lidstrom deserves some serious props as well. He became the first European-born captain to lead his team to the Stanley Cup. While Lidstrom is rightly recognized for his talent year in and year out, I don't think people take the time to understand just how incredible his career has been. It's not a stretch to say that Lidstrom is arguably one of the greatest defenceman of all-time.

The champion Red Wings were a pretty Euro-heavy squad. The majority of their top talent - Conn Smythe winner Hank Zetterberg, Pavel Datsyuk, Johan Franzen, Nik Lidstrom, Niklas Kronwall, Mikael Samuelsson and Tomas Holmstrom - were all, save for the Russian Datsyuk, Swedish. I hope their victory dispels the absurd notion that every team needs a core of solid Canadian hockey players, and a Canadian captain, to bring home the Stanley Cup. It's a global game and the Red Wings proved it.

As for the Stanley Cup herself, isn't she just the most beautiful trophy you've ever seen? I could stare at her forever. After the Red Wings were crowned champions and started to pass around the silver chalice, I got a couple of text messages from a couple of buddies, who happen to be brothers, who live down in the good ol' U.S. of A.

From Karan in NYC:
"Is it gay if a man cries when the Cup is hoisted?"

My reply:
"I'm going to have to say no."

Karan's reply:
"Just something about the Cup...it's like the first time I saw boobs."

That's gold right there. I don't think I could have said it any better myself.

And here's one from Kunal in Minnesota:
"I just want to win one. Why do they get 4 in 10 years and we can't win one? I'm going to cry."

Ah, the Stanley Cup. She elicits tears of joy, and tears of immense anguish. Keep your head up though, Kunal. Sean over Down Goes Brown (subscribe to it, trust me, it's that good) has some information that might make you feel a bit better:

"But before (Detroit's) win in 1997, they went 42 years without a Cup. That was 42 years of misery, including a very long stretch where the team was a complete non-factor. Then they got their act together, and the rest is history."

You know what that means, right? 2009 will mark the 42nd anniversary since the Leafs last hoisted the Stanley Cup. We're next.

The Senators Have Changed

I've got a confession to make.

I'm actually enjoying the Ottawa Senators' playoff run. They're an entertaining squad, and man oh man, these aren't the Senators of days gone bye.

The Senators have changed. The Senators are ready. They're on the cusp. As a man who bleeds blue and white, this is about as blasphemous as it gets, but I can't keep this inside any longer. A part of me likes Ottawa Senators hockey these days. A part of me is rooting for the Ottawa Senators. It's sick, I know.

This isn't easy, my friends, believe me.

Never would I have thought it would come to this. The Senators were always the lame chokers that I loved to laugh at. The team that just couldn't get the job done. The team that would dominate the Maple Leafs in the regular season but somehow manage to lose to Toronto in the playoffs. Four straight years. Ah, those were good times.

But times have changed. My worst nightmare has always been the prospect of Ottawa winning the Stanley Cup before the Leafs. If that happens, and it's looking more and more likely now, I've got nothing left. All us Leafs fans have left on Ottawa is those playoff beatings. The ones I'm still clinging on to til this day.

Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I'm jealous of the Ottawa Senators. It's true.

The Sens were always the laughing stock. I laughed at the inability of guys like Marian Hossa, Radek Bonk, Alexei Yashin, Andreas Dackell and Zdeno Chara to get it done in the playoffs. But not anymore. Those useless guys have all been shipped out of town.

Today, I'd kill for guys like Jason Spezza, Dany Heatley, Mike Fisher and Ray Emery to be in the blue and white. I've always had a soft spot for Fisher, and Emery is quickly becoming one of my favourite goalies in the league. It pains me to say that, because he wears the dreaded Senators uniform, but it's the truth, God dammit.

I figured the Senators totally screwed Spezza's development up, what with the constant trips back and forth to the minors, and the benching's and the 4th line duty. But under Bryan Murray he's blossomed into a bonafide star in this league. He's got tremendous vision and is one of the more underrated passers in the league. And the kid can dangle. Ask Sheldon Souray. He's been posterized by Spezza, twice.

When guys like Mike Comrie and Dean McCammond are dropping the gloves, you know the culture has changed over in the nation's capital. These simply aren't the Senators of old, the Senators I constantly ridiculed.

Ottawa's got it right, and they're one win away from another trip to the final four. I think they're the team to beat in the Eastern Conference. Ottawa has a good chance to win the Stanley Cup.

What the hell has the world come to?

I hope John Ferguson Jr. is taking notes, because Ottawa has put together one helluva team. I'm impressed. I'm a Leafs fan, how can I not be? It doesn't take much, after all.

I still can't believe I'm writing this. At least one thing hasn't changed, and that's my hate for Chris Neil. I want to kick him in his nuts.

I feel sick. I'm jealous of the Ottawa Senators! It's tough to swallow. I want Heatley. And Fisher. And Spezza. And Meszaros. And Volchenkov (this kid was BORN to block shots, he reminds me of Danny Markov, but better). Did anyone else see Alfredsson absolutely flatten a Devils player? Alfredsson! Unbelievable. How come Mats Sundin never lays anybody out like that? Sigh...

You know I've reached a new low when I'm comparing my Mats to Daniel freakin' Alfredsson.

I feel like Ace Ventura after he found out Finkle was Einhorn.

I'm gonna go put on "The Crying Game", burn my clothes, and stand in the shower crying uncontrollably.

I'm sorry Leafs Nation...