How Much Longer?

Vesa Toskala returned to the Toronto Maple Leafs last night, and it didn't change a damn thing. The Leafs were blown out of the water 5-0 by the Anaheim Ducks, and have now lost nine of their last 11 games. How much longer will the humiliation continue?

My initial reaction is, once again, to fire Paul Maurice. But I've been down that road before, and when things were just as bleak a month ago the Leafs were able to turn the ship around.

But a general manager without a contract after this season can only stay the course for so long, and the Leafs were frighteningly brutal last night. Again. Coupled with a Washington Capitals win, Toronto is now 14th in the 15-team Eastern Conference, and Tampa Bay is only three points back. Like Ace Ventura said, "assholes in mirror are closer than they appear."

For the life of me I can't comprehend the abysmal effort by the boys last night. It's not like they didn't have time to prepare for the defending Coupe Stanley champions - they Leafs arrived in the Golden State on Monday.

They welcomed back their goaltender Toskala - who admittedly wasn't too sharp - by hanging him out to dry. With Toskala coming off a groin injury and playing for the first time in almost three weeks, I figured the Buds would play a simple road game with tight defense and only one man deep. Well, clearly I'm an idiot. Todd Bertuzzi scored the first goal of the game on a breakaway only two minutes into the contest, while Tomas Kaberle was admiring the sights and sounds of the Honda Center and Pavel Kubina was blowing a tire.

Toronto's power play was once again impotent. The Leafs are in serious need of some power play Viagra, or Cialis, because while the mood is right, there's no power on this power play. With a man advantage the Leafs went zero-for-six, including a lengthy five-on-three opportunity near the end of the third period. They could have at least broken the shutout, for Christ's sake.

Let's keep it real for a second - a team with a 13.8% power play efficiency rating and a 79.5% penalty kill proficiency (those stats do not include last night's incompetence) doesn't deserve to make the playoffs.

As the Leafs nosedive towards the bottom of the NHL standings (only Los Angeles and Tampa Bay are worse), the media scrutiny around the team is growing. The sharks are circling, and hungry. The popular item of the week is the status of Mats Sundin - will he be traded? Would he waive his no-trade clause? What is he worth on the market right now?

Sundin is on pace for his best offensive season in a decade. He has certainly aged well. With the current state of the Toronto Maple Leafs it's really a no-brainer - Sundin must be traded. He can command NHL-ready talent, and top draft picks, everyone knows it. He should be the most saught-after player on the market, and probably already is. An argument can be made that he should have been traded last year at the trade deadline, but the Leafs were in the race for a playoff spot at the time, and right up until game number 82. This season, although there is a ton of parity in the East, the Leafs may be DOA by game 55. It's certainly looking that way and if that's the case, Sundin has to be bid adieu. For the Leafs' sake, and for his sake. He deserves to win a Stanley Cup, even if it is as a rental player, and he can always return to Toronto in the summer.

On an emotional level, I haven't dealt with the prospect of Mats Sundin donning another team's jersey. I can't go there. Not right now. I'm not ready, and I'm not sure I ever will be. A sick part of me is hoping the Captain will go down with the sinking ship.

The Leafs continue their odyssey through California tonight in Los Angeles against those hapless Kings. If Toronto loses to LA, well, I won't be surprised. Andrew Raycroft will be between the pipes, after all.

Penguins Layeth The Smacketh Downeth

I'm always bitching and moaning about the lack of accountability on the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey club. Well, Paul Maurice and company ushered in 2008 with some changes, so I've got to show the team some respect. There's only one problem - the Leafs still stink.

Another spanking went into the books last night at the hands of the Pittsburgh Penguins. A 6-2 final, including three goals by the Pens in 48 seconds early in the third period. Three goals in 48 seconds. I can't even make myself a drink in 48 seconds. OK, well, maybe if I try really hard.

As for those changes I mentioned. Andrew Raycroft has been sent to the bench, hopefully with some super glue so he can never play for the Leafs again, and Kyle Wellwood has been banished to the press box as a healthy scratch.

Raycrap can rot in goaltending hell but it's tough times for Welly. He was supposed to be the Leafs' second-line centre this season and was expected to put up 65 points. But it's clear to anyone who's been watching him play that he just isn't the same since his groin and abdominal injuries. I gotta say that Wellwood is one strange cat. He supposedly doesn't own a television and while being interviewed on Tuesday morning about his upcoming night off he was pretty upbeat, and was even wearing a smile. Umm, Kyle, you're supposed to be disappointed. At least show me you're freaking disappointed. I think the whole camera and television thing just tripped him out. At least I hope that was the case. Otherwise he's a douche.

The lineup changes worked on January 1st, although Toronto's opponent were the Tampa Bay Lightning, who are even more pathetic than my Leafs. Haha, losers! Scott Clemmensen, who broke my heart last year, was between the pipes and the Leafs actually won a game via the dreaded shootout. Seriously, I kid you not. A shootout against Vincent Lecavalier, Brad Richards and Martin St. Louis. That's the NHL's leading scorer (Lecavalier), a former Conn Smythe Trophy winner (Richards), and a former scoring champion (St. Louis). Typical Toronto Maple Leafs. It proves that anyone, including Clemmensen, is better than Raycroft the goaltending sieve.

Wellwood was in the press box again last night and Clemmensen got his second straight start in goal, but it didn't matter. The Leafs hung Clemmensen out to dry like he was, well, Raycroft, and I'm guessing Wellwood will be back in the lineup on Saturday night after another anemic offensive performance by the boys in blue and white.

The good news? Isn't much, other than the amazing fact that Jason Blake scored for the first time on the road this freaking season last night at the Igloo. Only took half the year. Atta boy, Blake!

Here's what I'm upset about, and I'll keep it short and simple: Paul Maurice should have called a timeout when Pittsburgh made it 4-1, with two goals in 37 seconds. Instead, play continued and the Penguins bagged another one 11 seconds later. Then Maurice used his timeout, but by then it was already sweet dreams Toronto. Way to coach back there, Mo.

And for the love of Christ, Jiri Tlusty needs to be sent back down to the minors. The rookie played less than five minutes last night. There's no point for him to be playing on the fourth line with a playmaker like Wade Belak when he can be playing 20 minutes a game on the best team in the American Hockey League, the Toronto Marlies. Tlusty is only 19 and the Leafs can't afford to mess with this kid's development, yet they already are. The mismanagement up in here is unreal.

I'm starting to feel a bit Damien Cox-ish about the rest of this Leafs season. By that I mean negative as a mother sucker. The Leafs completed game 41 out of 82 last night, and have only 16 wins to their name. That's not good. Not good at all. The Leafs were handily beaten by a better team - a playoff team - in the Penguins last night. And while we're add it, lets add Ty Conklin's name to the list of goalies to beat the Leafs this season. Brutal.

I have kept believing the Leafs would turn it around - flick the proverbial switch - but since Toronto lost Vesa Toskala to injury, things have gotten seriously bleak 'round these parts. Toronto has dropped four of their last five contests, and seven of nine. The Leafs are the 26th-best-team (got to stay a little positive) in a 30-team-league. It's painful. I'm not too sure how much longer things will be allowed to continue this way, but I've got to believe that one of Maurice or JFJ are going to be picking up the classifieds in The Hockey News in the not-so-distant future.

The only man that can save this Leafs team, and a season that is quickly slipping away, is goaltender Toskala.

Fire the flare. I'm sending out an S.O.S.

There's just one more thing - Mark Bell, please stop fighting. Watching you get knocked out every time is embarrassing.

A Disheartening List

Another last-minute loss for the Buds last night, 2-1 to Tampa Bay. Another sublime effort in net by Vesa Toskala all for naught. Most disturbing of all, another loss to a no-name goaltender. Who the hell is Karri Ramo!?

It was the third straight game where Leafs captain Mats Sundin failed to record a point and, subsequently, the Leafs' third straight loss. The secondary offence just isn't there. With the Sundin line finally slowing down, Toronto has only bagged four goals in their last three games. That just ain't going to cut it, folks. Teams are getting it - shut down Sundin and no matter how well Toskala plays, the Leafs are beatable.

Darcy Tucker, Jason Blake, and Kyle Wellwood deserve the lion's share of the blame. I don't know what the heck is wrong with Tucker, but he's a shadow of his former self. He simply isn't contributing, at all, to this team right now. The same goes for Wellwood, who I think needs to be moved to the wing on a permanent basis. He was to be counted on heavily this season, but has only registered eight points in 20 games. As for Jason Blake, he's been a bust, plain and simple. Not one of his only five goals have come on the power play, which he was supposed to contribute to heavily.

I figured Karri Ramo, the rookie who was between the pipes for the Tampa Bay Lightning last night, would get a "W" against Toronto. It follows a most-disturbing trend from the first 35 games of the campaign. Here's a list of goaltender's that the Leafs should have defeated, but failed to do so, so far this season:

Danny Sabourin - Pittsburgh Penguins backup goalie

Patrick Lalime - Chicago Blackhawks backup goalie, who really, really sucks

Jocelyn Thibault - Buffalo Sabres backup goalie, who sports a nasty .862 save percentage

Johan Hedberg - Atlanta Thrashers backup goalie

Stephen Valiquette - New York Rangers backup goalie, who has started only four games

Carey Price x 3 - Montreal Canadiens backup goalie, who I'll reluctantly admit is pretty good

Tuukka Rask - Boston Bruins third-string goalie, who beat the Leafs in his NHL debut

Alex Auld - Boston Bruins backup goalie, who was in the minors a day before he beat the Leafs

John Grahame - Carolina Hurricanes backup goalie, who sports an ugly .878 save percentage

Karri Ramo - Tampa Bay Lightning third-string goalie, who beat the Leafs in his first-career NHL start

Not exactly candidates for the Vezina Trophy, eh? Brutal.

I need a drink...