Mark Bell Rules

I have been waiting years to see Daniel Alfredsson get hit the way he did last night. Thanks to one hell of a body check, Mark Bell completely redeemed himself of one horrendous season. Thanks to one hell of a body check, I want Bell to stay in the blue and white.

If you didn't see the hit, check it out. Grab some popcorn, a drink, and get comfortable. I think I've watched it about 57 times now, and it is just, well, awesome. And it's even better in slow motion.



Alffy is done. Bell sent him back to the 613 area code. That's what Alffy gets for cutting through the Leafs zone, head down and admiring his pass. It's about God damn time someone layed him out. Alfredsson won't suit up tonight for Ottawa, and word has it that he may even miss the first round of the playoffs. While the Leafs couldn't bring the Senators down with them, at least they got Alfredsson. That's one trade off I'll take with open arms.

One second, I'll be right back. Going to watch the video again...

Ok, I'm back. Sorry about that. But, wow, what a beauty of a hit. Shoulder, and some elbow, right into Alfredsson's mug. It's like art. Beautiful, expensive, art.

Other than the hit, the game was a joke. The Senators, fighting for their playoff lives, destroyed the Maple Leafs. Silly me, I was actually really excited about last night's game. I figured the Leafs would step up and do their best to mess up Ottawa's season. But, as keeps being proven, every instinct I have is wrong.

Honestly, an 8-2 final for the Senators was all good with me. The hit on Alfredsson made the final score absolutely meaningless. The Leafs are brutal and everyone knows it. Some serious roster overhaulage is in store.

The Washington Capitals, my adopted team for the rest of the season, beat the Lightning anyway, and now occupy the eighth and final playoff spot in the East. They don't need the Leafs' help. God knows we can't help ourselves, so how the hell were we going to help someone else? I'm an idiot.

Anyway, right after Bell cleared Alfredsson's sinuses, my boy Alz sent me a text message: "Bell just validated his write off of a season." I couldn't agree more. I've been a big time Bell-hater. He disappointed me greatly these last few months, and I was all for buying out his contract or having him toil in the minors next season. Not anymore. After that gorgeous hit on the super douche bag captain of the Ottawa Senators, all is forgotten. Well done, Mark Bell, and I look forward to seeing you in training camp in September.

Yes, the Leafs were absolutely demolished in their final home game of the regular season. The 8-2 final score was completely embarrassing, but fitting, because it was likely Paul Maurice's final game behind the Leafs bench as head coach (why the hell didn't he pull Toskala!?!?!?). I can't think of any other team that is blown out of their own building as often as the Leafs are. It's a bloody disgrace. I'm tired. I'm done. This season, with mercifully only one game left to play, can't end soon enough.

Yes, the Senators kicked collective Maple Leafs ass last night, but, well, who cares? It's nothing we haven't been through before. Just thank Mark Bell, scroll up to the video, and click "play." It'll make you feel better.

UPDATE: It's morning. I woke up and the first thing I did was think about the hit, and smile. A huge smile. And it's snowing outside. The Leafs lost 8-2 last night, and I'm still straight giddy over that hit. I think I have no choice but to buy a Mark Bell jersey. He is the greatest.