Happy Birthday, Harry

Harry "Doc" Halladay celebrated his 31st birthday yesterday and his Blue Jays teammates finally gave him what he's been longing for: run support. And a win! A very happy birthday indeed for The Doctor.

After a brutal start to their road trip that saw them score only four runs in a four game set against Cleveland, the Jays have suddenly put together some wins. Last night over the Twins made it three in a row and it came when Halladay was not at his best. He grinded out the "W" and it was good to see the Jays offense bail him out for once.

On too many nights Doc has been masterful while the bats have let him down. He's already thrown four complete games, two more than anyone else in the American League, and has unbelievably lost three of them.

The Jays offense - I know, the word "offense" is an incredible stretch - has averaged a putrid 3.14 runs per Halladay outing. Not good enough. Last night, Matt Stairs made sure to better that in the first inning, when he hit the eleventh grand slam of his career to spot Doc four runs before he even threw a pitch (happy birthday!). Doc needed every last run the Jays gave him, but he was due for a victory. Harry's been his usual fly self so far this season and his 4-5 win-loss record should read more like 7-3.

Speaking of Stairs, he is a rudey. Nice little feature about him from Robert Macleod at The Globe and Mail. Stairsy is proving that if Frank Thomas is losing bat speed as he gets older, the pride of New Brunswick is doing the opposite. He can still turn on a fastball and boy did he ever last night. Stairs leads the team in home runs (6), batting average (.306), and is second behind Scott Rolen with a .828 OPS. And he respects the game. Even when he bitch slaps a ball into the upper deck for a grand slam, like he did last night, he puts his head down and runs the bases. No admiration of his moon shot, no silly ManRam-style hand gestures, nothing. He's a true Canadian hero. Stay classy, Matt.

And if you haven't heard already, Scott Rolen is the Best Blue Jay Ever. It's tough to argue with. The more I watch Rolen play, the more I fall in love. I can't believe I actually used to be a big Troy Glaus fan. I feel all dirty inside, like a cheap hooker. Glaus has nothing, absolutely nothing, on Rolen. What a gamer. Much has been made about Rolen's 15-pitch at-bat on Tuesday night, and he was at it again in the first inning yesterday, walking to load the bases for Stairs after an 11-pitch battle. Rolen is quite Godly. Quite. "The Third Base Jesus," as The Tao said.

Some quick (bong) hits:

I don't know what the Blue Jays did or have done to anger the baseball God's, but the injuries rained down with a vengeance last week. In a two-day span Vernon Wells, John McDonald, David Eckstein and Jeremy Accardo landed on the disabled list. My dream of just one God damn relatively healthy season was violently killed, execution style...

Jesse "Son of a" Litsch is leading the team in wins with five, the Jays are in last place in the American League East, and the Tampa Bay Rays are in first place. Ain't nobody can tell me they saw all that shit coming...

Jesse Carlson is the Blue Jays' Jamario Moon. What a find...

B.J. Ryan, touch wood, has been great coming off the Tommy John. While he hasn't been overpowering, he's yet to allow a run in 11 innings, has struck out 13 douchebags, and said douchebags are only batting .179 off him. I said touch wood so, please, do it...

How amazingly awesome is Shaun Marcum? A man crush is quickly developing. And I'm not the only one. In over 56 innings of work Marcum is sporting a 2.22 ERA and, even more impressive, a .151 opponents batting average. Nobody can hit him right now...

Toronto's offensive struggles have been well documented. Over the weekend, when the Jays didn't score a run in over 30 innings (!!!), it got to the point where it was more comical than frustrating. A ridiculous inability to hit with runners in scoring position, errors, unassisted triple plays, you name it, the Jays have been through it. It has been a strange opening two months of the season. While for many the "Fire John Gibbons" watch has begun, I'm of the opinion that he should remain manager of the Jays for entire season. For once, it is time to hold the players, not the manager, accountable. Gibbons isn't the one who's up there unable to get the job done...

So, J.P. Ricciardi released Reed Johnson for Shannon Stewart. Hasn't really worked out too well. Stew's struggling, so welcome to Toronto Kevin Mench and Brad Wilkerson. Is it still unacceptable to say that releasing Johnson was a mistake?...

And Ricciardi released Frank Thomas because Adam Lind was ready, so we were told. But he's back in the minors, so he's not ready. Now, I have no problem with Lind getting his cuts in the minors. I guess I just don't like being lied to. In the end, I'm the idiot. No sports team in this city is honest, yet honesty is all I continue to expect...