Leaving on a high note...

In five minutes and 57 seconds of stellar relief work off the bench, followed by a perfect performance in the shootout, Curtis Joseph made up for a season's worth of horrendous backup goaltending.

That wasn't the Cujo of 2008/2009 who replaced Martin Gerber between the pipes last night. No sir. That was Cujo, circa 1998/1999. The Cujo who never finished a season in Toronto with a save percentage lower than .906.

Thrust into a tie game with less than a minute to play in regulation, Joseph made a great save on an Alexander Ovechkin one-timer to send the game to overtime. He then made eight saves in the extra session, a number of them of the difficult variety on a Washington power play.

It was something else. The crowd was on its feet in appreciation of Cujo's heroic efforts. It was 1999 all over again.

In the skills competition to decide the game, Joseph shut the door on Nicklas Backstrom, Alexander Semin, and Ovie. Another standing ovation. Two. On a Tuesday night. Unreal.

Speaking of the shootout, it's been a lot more fun to watch this season, hasn't it? Amazing how much more enjoyable it becomes when the Leafs aren't complete and utter failures at it.

And I'm with the General; loved Gerber's passion last night.

In a perfect world, Curtis Joseph announces his retirement from the NHL today. As Jerry Seinfeld and George Costanza taught us, it's all about showmanship. And talk about leaving on a high note.

It's been tough to watch Cujo this season, a shell of the incredible goaltender he once was. But for one more night, he was phenomenal, and I can't think of a better way for him to leave the game behind.

His performance last night; that's how I'll remember Cujo as a Toronto Maple Leaf.

And, most unfortunately...

The good die young. Way too young.

You will be missed, John Brattain. "Best Regards," indeed...

And I'll take with me the memories...

They haven't been traded yet. They might have been by the time you read this. But Nik Antropov and Dominic Moore were healthy scratches last night, and have played their final game for the Toronto Maple Leafs.

I hate goodbyes.

Nik, what a roller coaster ride it has been. It took a while, but you did good.

Dominic, you had me at hello. A Toronto boy, you lived the dream.

You know, there's nothing I can say that Boyz II Men can't on my behalf.

The biggest of big tunes. Good luck, boys. You will be missed.

Trade Deadline Day. A pseudo-holiday here in Canada, especially Toronto. Everyone's got Andy Williams playing in the background, ready for Brian Burke to make it rain draft picks.

It should be one helluva ride until 3:00 PM. All I'm going to say is that if Tomas Kaberle gets moved, you'll be able to find me sobbing uncontrollably at the bottom of a bottle, listening to the song above on repeat.

1.2%

My good friend MF37 has pointed out that those are the odds of the Leafs making the playoffs(!!!!1) this season, after they picked up another point last night, thanks to the divine exploits of one Vesa Toskala.

Toskala stopped 49 of 52 shots and his save percentage, I'm proud to report, is now above the .890 threshold, coming in at .891.

He went save for save, and beyond, with Marty Brodeur. It was glorious. The Leafs, without Antropov, Moore, and Niklas Hagman, and thanks to Vesa, battled to pick up a point. And John Mitchell's stock is quickly rising in my books. What a rudey.

Anyway, as I mentioned in the comments over at MF's blog, while it takes a certain type of lunatic to stroll through Al Gore's internet hollering "Playoffs!!!!1," it takes another type of lunatic to believe that the Leafs are buyers at the deadline. Not even I am that delusional.

Once again, my thoughts, this time about the Leafs' post-season chances, can be summed up much better by someone else. Ladies and gentlemen, a regular around here at this time of year, Lloyd Christmas:

Seven points. Don't stop believing.

Happy Trade Deadline Day. Behave.

Disrespect

Tomas Kaberle was utterly disrespected and embarrassed by coach Ron Wilson last night. And I'm not fucking happy about it.

For those of you that missed last night's quasi-late contest between the Leafs and the Phoenix Coyotes, Kaberle was in uniform, but didn't see a shift - not one - in the first period.

Apparently Ron Wilson was trying to send a message to his beleaguered defenceman. And it didn't work. Wilson's experiment was, as my good friend MF37 called it in an email after the game, an "epic failure." Kaberle saw 13:45 of action in periods two and three, and was downright awful. Can you blame him? Kabby was singled out by his coach in front of his teammates, and all of us watching on television. Wilson's brilliant plan backfired.

Before you get your panties all tied up in a knot, let me be the first to admit that Kaberle hasn't been playing up to the standards expected of him this season. He's performed poorly. On numerous occasions over the last couple of months, after another puck has found its way into the back of the Maple Leafs' net, I've texted my brother asking him, "what the fuck was Kaberle doing on that play?!?"

But that doesn't give Wilson the right to humiliate Tomas in front of all of his teammates. Believe me, I get that Wilson is trying to send his message of accountability far and wide, but why wasn't Kaberle banished to the press box, much like Matt Stajan and Jason Blake were earlier in the season? I honestly would have had no problem with that. I do have a problem with Kaberle, one of Toronto's leaders, suiting up and sitting on the bench for 40 minutes, freezing his Czech Republican ass off.

It was a disgusting move on Wilson's part. A part of me honestly believes that embarrassing Kaberle was a way to force his hand. A way to make sure that he agrees to waive his no trade clause when he's inevitably asked to do so.

Kabby's only human, just like you and I. He feels pain. Imagine how he felt setting on the bench. Surely his Maple Leafs career was flashing before his very eyes. Imagine how he felt in the dressing room in the first intermission. Surely he was thinking about the no-trade in his clause in his contract. Imagine how he felt trying to look his teammates in the eye. Kabby deserved more than that.

Unbelievably, it actually got worse for Tomas. It wasn't enough for Wilson to bench him, and then have him play like the second coming of Andy Wozniewksi. Nope, Wilson had to take a shot at him after the game as well. When asked if he was trying to send a message to #15, Wilson said yes, and that Kabby sent a message back with his -3 performance. In my humble and pissed off opinion, Wilson set Kaberle up to fail last night, and then had the nerve to call him out in the media. Stay classy, Ron, you asshole.

I've also got to voice my disappointment in some of my fellow Leafs fans over at PPP, who seem to, as MF37 put it, take a "perverse delight" in seeing my main man Kaberle struggle, and get benched. You guys know who you are. I guess it pleases you to see another member of our beloved team reach his lowest value in terms of a trade. Bring on more of the Jeff Carter and Chris Pronger references, fellas. That shit never gets old.

Clearly it's Tomas Kaberle's fault that Toronto can't keep the puck out of their own net. Clearly it's Kabby's fault that Toskala's sporting a pathetic .882 save percentage. Clearly it's Tomas' fault the Leafs can kill only 75% of their penalties.

I love how Ron Wilson preaches to the choir about accountability, while he coaches the worst defensive team in hockey. Where's his accountability?

I'm off Wilson. Huge.

Go West, Mats

Like the Pet Shop Boys said, life is peaceful there. Peaceful, as in, across the country from the Toronto media, and a few bitter Maple Leafs fans. And that jersey looks familiar. Blue and white, with just a touch of green.

I know what you're thinking: "here we go again." But as Sundin's Secretary of Defence, I've got to weigh in once more on everyone's favourite former captain.

Now that the man, the myth, and the legend known as Brian Burke has officially landed in town - "it's one small step for man, but one giant leap for the Maple Leafs"- Sundin is back in the news. Apparently the Leafs don't exactly fit the profile of team he's looking to join.

Well, no shit.

Mats is 37. He'll be 38 in February. It's December. I don't see him suiting up for game action until January. He's looking for a place to play for four months. Of course he's not coming to Toronto. Why would he? The Leafs are terrible.

Once again, however, Leafs fans are chastising him. Now that it's looking like his Leafs career is truly over, the vultures are back, and circling. Chemmy, one of the great Pension Plan Puppeteers, had this to say after Burke said Sundin likely won't be coming back to the nest:

"Fuck Sundin. Way to not take a deadline trade, like an asshole."

That comment gets to me. I mean, really gets to me. That sense of entitlement. That Sundin, because he was asked, owed it to us, all of us Toronto Maple Leafs fans out there, to accept a trade out of town when he didn't want to go.

You know why he didn't want to go? Because he believed that the team - his team - could still make the playoffs. Yeah, what an asshole.

 

Of course, fans like Chemmy will argue that at issue is not the fact that Sundin is not returning, but that he is looking for short-term employment elsewhere. Mats did say, after all, that he did not want to be a rental player, and that he wanted to be a part of the "journey" from day one.

I'll be the first to admit that I can't much defend those statements. No matter where Sundin signs, he will be a rental player. And he will not have been a part of the journey since day one. But, hey, that's life. Things change. Sometimes things don't work out the way we plan for them to work out. Deal with it. Let it go. Perhaps Sundin really did think he would return to Toronto. Perhaps he believed he really was ready for retirement. The truth is, we'll never know.

None of this, however, tarnishes Sundin's legacy in these eyes. And it shouldn't in yours. Mats went down with the sinking ship. Don't forget that. 

And Brian Burke is right. Sundin's a better man for staying on the sidelines this season instead of collecting a paycheck when his heart isn't in the game. 

My good friend MF37 over at Bitter Leaf Fan Page has, amidst all the Sundin fallout, been asking a great question: where's the hatred for Darcy Tucker? I was as big a Tucker fan as they came, but I'm beginning to ask myself that question as well. Why are people still all over Sundin, when Tucker also didn't waive his no-trade clause, and saddled the Leafs with a cap hit? 

Tucker, a warrior yes, was a perpetual minus hockey player. He had become a one-trick pony on the power play and a liability five-on-five. The Leafs are now paying $1 million a year against the salary cap for him not to play in Toronto, and will be until 2013. Yet everyone's still pissed at Sundin, who only went about his point-per-game business for, oh, the last 15 God damn years, because he wouldn't leave.

It's unbelievable, really, how fans in this town think sometimes.

I've got no issues with Sundin joining Montreal, New York, or Chicago. But I want him to become a Canuck. Although the fellas at CoxBloc would probably disagree, Vancouver's a wonderful city. A laid-back Toronto, some say. The Canucks are sitting atop the Northwest Division, and Sundin would look great between the Sedin sisters. When Roberto Luongo comes back from his injury, the Canucks could really use Mats' offence down the stretch.

It pains me that I never got to properly say goodbye to Mats, but it's cool. I want him to go west. I want him to try and win that Cup. I'm truly beginning to think that, thanks to a few petty, bitter fans in this city, we don't deserve him anyway.

The Raycrap Report Vol. 1: Schadenfreude

Andrew Raycroft must moonlight as a magician. Somehow, someway, he has managed to convince the good folks down in Colorado that he is still an NHL calibre goalie. David Blaine would be impressed.

This is the beginning of a new feature at Sports And The City - The Raycrap Report - where we follow the struggles of every Toronto Maple Leafs fan's favourite former goalie: Andrew Joseph Ernest Raycroft. It's schadenfreude at its finest, my friends.

I know, I could have (and probably should have) called it The Raycroft Report, but, well, no. That's a little too mature for my taste, thank you very much. 

I've got to tip my cap to MF37, or The Sage as I like to call him, over at Bitter Leaf Fan Page for providing the inspiration for The Raycrap Report. MF37 is a calm, cool and collected individual. He writes a great blog, and is one of the few Leafs fans I know who is able to maintain a relatively even keel when it comes to our frustrating Leafs. He doesn't get all emotional like me. He is the alter-eyebleaf.

But even MF37 has hatred for Andrew Raycroft:

"I would eat up a Raycroft Report with a freakin' spoon. Even if he was playing road hockey with his kids and let in a softy I'd be happy to wallow in it. That rat bastard Raycroft necessitated the deal for Toskala and in total cost the franchise Rask, 1, 2, 4 round picks and a shot at the playoffs."

When MF37 is calling someone a "rat bastard," you know it's serious business.

Here in Toronto, we paid a heavy, heavy price for Raycroft. Countless, mindless casualties. The above is all that we have left: bitterness. And it spares no one; all of us have got it. I happen to be the poster child. And all of it stems from only two years and 90 odd games of #1 in the net. It's rather remarkable, really, when you think about it.

Also equally remarkable is the fact that Raycroft has already equalled his win total of last season: two. I know, he deserves a fresh batch of cookies from the ladies. His stats, however, are downright pathetic.

Raycroft was ravaged in his latest start on October 30th against Columbus, allowing four goals on only 14 shots. He was back on the bench, where he belongs, to begin the third period. One of the goals was scored from behind the goal line. Another two were scored high, glove side. Imagine that.

Raycroft's save percentage, you ask? .839. Ten goals allowed on 62 shots. And a 3.76 GAA. In the two games he was victorious, the Avs scored 10 goals. Yep, that's about right.

I'm not sure how much longer Raycroft can keep the wool pulled over the eyes of Avalanche management. He doesn't belong in the NHL, and I think it's only a matter of time before the Avalanche bus leaves without him. 

Anyone up for a $20 wager? I'm calling Tuesday, November 18th. By that day, Raycroft will have been sent to the minors, waived, or injured in a "freak accident." Holla!

Curtis Joseph may be looking every bit like the 41-year-old he is between the pipes for Toronto right now, but even he is no Raycroft. There is only one.

Chin up, poor Avalanche fans. I know what you're going through. Don't worry, soon your nightmare will be over.

Stay tuned for another installment of The Raycrap Report. I doubt there will be too many more.

Torn...

I spent a couple of hours late last night staring out at the city beyond my window, listening to Natalie Imbruglia, and thinking about Luke Schenn. The kid is staying with the Maple Leafs and, much like Natalie sings, I'm torn.

On an aside, I've got quite the view of Toronto from my mother's basement. You'd be surprised.

When it comes to the man-child known as Schenn, I must admit that I'm surprised, and a little disappointed, that he won't be returning to junior hockey. I felt that, at the end of the day, another year of dominating hockey players his own age could not have hurt him. Schenn would have been the number one guy on the Kelowna Rockets, and would have had the chance to play in every situation, especially the power play - something he won't get much of an opportunity to do here with the Leafs. Schenn was also a shoo-in for the Canadian entry at the World Junior tournament, and likely would have captained the squad.

In Schenn's defence, and also much to my delight, he's played great so far this season. He's proven that he's ready to play with the best players in the world. In only eight games, he's become one of Ron Wilson's go-to guys, and has cracked the top four on the blue line. Frankly, it's hard not to be impressed by what he's been able to step in and do. His play really made it hard for the Leafs to send him back down, and I can't help but admire the drive and work ethic of the soon-to-be 19-year-old (!) for that.

One thing is clear: Schenn plays with the poise of a seasoned NHL defenceman. He plays hard, he plays with passion, and he sticks up for his teammates. Watching the youngster step in and fight Chris Neil, after Neil nailed Matt Stajan on Saturday night, brought a tear to my eye. Schenn really looks like he might be the real deal.

Speaking of Chris Neil, his pathetic douchebaggery knows no bounds. He was willing to drop the gloves and fight Luke Schenn, but when Jamal Mayers was standing in front of him, gloves off and asking for a dance, Neil politely declined, bitch that he is, and skated off to the Ottawa bench. Gutless. Absolutely gutless. Neil is an embarrassment to hockey, the game I love with all my being, and Canada, the country I love even more. Fuck Chris Neil. And if you're down with Chris Neil, fuck you too.

Oh yeah, and Stajan, would you be a dear and try keeping your head up? It would be appreciated. There's only so many of your battles Schenn, six years your junior, can fight, honey. If you're not going to keep your head up, do us all a favour and grow some gonads. Stupid, sexy, Stajan. 

Of course, we don't really know if Luke Schenn is the real deal. Not yet. My good friend MF37, who runs the great blog Bitter Leaf Fan, made some valid points after I emailed him asking him his thoughts on the Schenn announcement. He's right: there is simply no tried, tested and true way to best develop NHL talent. Each and every player, and each and every situation, is different. Schenn may be ready. Or Schenn may not be ready. We don't know. We never watched him play in junior, and an eight game sample size is much too small for us, or anyone for that matter, to pass judgement. All we can do is put our hope in Ron Wilson and the coaching staff. While the majority of signs are pointing to Schenn being the stud we so badly want and need him to be, we'll get the answer we're looking for, one way or another, in a few years. 

The decision to keep Schenn was a tough call by the Leafs' brain trust, especially considering the traffic jam on the blue line. It's a decision they will no doubt take a lot of heat for. But I'll give them props for going against the grain. 

You full well know Damien Cox was foaming at the mouth once he heard Schenn was looking for permanent digs, and Damien undoubtedly will shit all over the club today, conjuring memories of Drake Berehowsky ("Hate the Drake!") and Al Iafrate. Not that I'm surprised. No matter what the Leafs had done with Schenn, the wrath of the mittenstringers was waiting for them.

In the spirit of the season - it's a development year, right? - let's sit back and enjoy watching Schenn develop in front of our very eyes. I'm game, and I'm excited. 

Welcome to Toronto, Luke. Officially, this time. My head was hoping you'd be back on your way to Kelowna. My heart was hoping you'd stay...