November 04, 2008

The Raycrap Report Vol. 1: Schadenfreude

Andrew Raycroft must moonlight as a magician. Somehow, someway, he has managed to convince the good folks down in Colorado that he is still an NHL calibre goalie. David Blaine would be impressed.

This is the beginning of a new feature at Sports And The City - The Raycrap Report - where we follow the struggles of every Toronto Maple Leafs fan's favourite former goalie: Andrew Joseph Ernest Raycroft. It's schadenfreude at its finest, my friends.

I know, I could have (and probably should have) called it The Raycroft Report, but, well, no. That's a little too mature for my taste, thank you very much. 

I've got to tip my cap to MF37, or The Sage as I like to call him, over at Bitter Leaf Fan Page for providing the inspiration for The Raycrap Report. MF37 is a calm, cool and collected individual. He writes a great blog, and is one of the few Leafs fans I know who is able to maintain a relatively even keel when it comes to our frustrating Leafs. He doesn't get all emotional like me. He is the alter-eyebleaf.

But even MF37 has hatred for Andrew Raycroft:

"I would eat up a Raycroft Report with a freakin' spoon. Even if he was playing road hockey with his kids and let in a softy I'd be happy to wallow in it. That rat bastard Raycroft necessitated the deal for Toskala and in total cost the franchise Rask, 1, 2, 4 round picks and a shot at the playoffs."

When MF37 is calling someone a "rat bastard," you know it's serious business.

Here in Toronto, we paid a heavy, heavy price for Raycroft. Countless, mindless casualties. The above is all that we have left: bitterness. And it spares no one; all of us have got it. I happen to be the poster child. And all of it stems from only two years and 90 odd games of #1 in the net. It's rather remarkable, really, when you think about it.

Also equally remarkable is the fact that Raycroft has already equalled his win total of last season: two. I know, he deserves a fresh batch of cookies from the ladies. His stats, however, are downright pathetic.

Raycroft was ravaged in his latest start on October 30th against Columbus, allowing four goals on only 14 shots. He was back on the bench, where he belongs, to begin the third period. One of the goals was scored from behind the goal line. Another two were scored high, glove side. Imagine that.

Raycroft's save percentage, you ask? .839. Ten goals allowed on 62 shots. And a 3.76 GAA. In the two games he was victorious, the Avs scored 10 goals. Yep, that's about right.

I'm not sure how much longer Raycroft can keep the wool pulled over the eyes of Avalanche management. He doesn't belong in the NHL, and I think it's only a matter of time before the Avalanche bus leaves without him. 

Anyone up for a $20 wager? I'm calling Tuesday, November 18th. By that day, Raycroft will have been sent to the minors, waived, or injured in a "freak accident." Holla!

Curtis Joseph may be looking every bit like the 41-year-old he is between the pipes for Toronto right now, but even he is no Raycroft. There is only one.

Chin up, poor Avalanche fans. I know what you're going through. Don't worry, soon your nightmare will be over.

Stay tuned for another installment of The Raycrap Report. I doubt there will be too many more.


blurr1974 said...

Say what you want about Raycroft, he did give us losses (insert instant rimshot here!)

MF37 said...

It struck me that one of the best things about tracking Raycroft's performance is the ease with which you can illustrate the season long steady decline in his save percentage. Instead of requiring an excel spreadsheet to create a graph that has to be exported to a jpg file, you can just use a single backslash.

I look forward to future installments.

general borschevsky said...

cost the franchise Rask, 1, 2, 4 round picks

JFJ is the worst Leaf GM ever and Raycroft is the worst Leaf goalie ever.

"The bottom line is I wasn’t good enough."

I'm so happy that era is over.

eyebleaf said...

@ Blurr: Raycroft, it could be argued, is the most consistent goalie ever. He always sucks. And he always gets beat high glove side. Pretty impressive.

@ MF: The backslash idea is absolutely golden. You are on fire!

@ General: Isn't it amazing that Raycroft holds the single season record for wins by a Maple Leaf goaltender? That is so supremely fucked up. I'm happy that era is over, too, I just can't for the life of me figure out what the Avalanche were thinking when they signed the guy.

blue with age said...

I tend to wax nostalgic for the Slapshot like Ballard years. Lately though, I am beginning to think that those years should be remembered more for the duration of organizational futility. For the depth of shittyness and the speed at which that shit flowed downhill, we have to give the award to JFJ's tenure. An antichrist came to town and nobody recognized it. But there he was, right before us, wearing goalie pads. Do we need to track him? Fuck Ya! If any of his ilk return to the scene of the crime, we need to spot him, and fast.

Anonymous said...

Raycroft doesn't even belong in professinal hockey leave alone in the NHL.

But what about Tucker!?! He has one goal in 12 games and he isn't exactlya defensive wizard. And he is signed for two years. Poor Avs fans.

Pseudonym said...

For those who think that JFJ was the worst Leaf GM. I should point out that Gerry MacNamara could give him a run at that title. He claimed in court (a civil trial) to having brain damage. As for the worst goalie - Raycroft was pretty bad but I thought Trevor Kidd was worse. Maybe Allan Bester too.

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