Deep Thoughts Vol. 17: Sorry, Michel...

I'm not sure what it is about the Pittsburgh Penguins, but they sure as hell bring out the best in our Toronto Maple Leafs, don't they?

Including Saturday night's dominant ass-kicking, the Leafs ended up taking three of four from the Pens this season. That's six points Therrien and co. left on the table. Against the Maple Leafs. Six points that I believe, in the end, cost Michel Therrien his job.

Sorry, Pens fans. And Pens bloggers. The Leafs didn't mean to drive the final nail into the Therrien coffin. Frankly, I'm surprised he lasted as long as he did.

As a coming-out-of-the-closet Pens fan, I think Dan Bylsma for Therrien is a good move. The Penguins are too talented a squad to miss the playoffs. Period. There's a lot of hockey left to play, and the Pens are only five points out of eighth, and seven points out of fifth, in the Eastern Conference. I'm not worried. The Pens are making the playoffs. ComeBackCity2009.

And, for the record, I may or may not be the owner of a Penguins jersey. And I may or may not have found it in the depths of a closet at my parents' place over the weekend...

Jason Blake and the Fist Pump

Back to my first and true love, the Leafs (don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise).

I had a George Costanza moment in the third period of Saturday night's game. After my hero Jason Blake scored his second goal, an absolute beauty, in only 19 seconds, to put the Leafs up 3-2, my right arm involuntarily fist-pumped. It just happened. I didn't realize it until after the fact. And it freaked me the fuck out.

But deep down, I kind of enjoyed it. And I want it to happen again.

Speaking of #55, isn't he just a dear? So much so that even ardent Blake-hater Down Goes Brown is coming around. And if DGB is beginning to see the light, you know Blake truly is playing out of his mind.

John Ferguson Jr.'s Greatest Move

His name is Dominic Moore. He's got 38 points in 56 games, including a team-leading 27 assists. His career high in points, prior to this season, was 18, back in 2005/2006 when he was a New York Ranger.

Moore's been nothing short of a revelation, and has found chemistry alongside the fist-pumping wonder, Blake.

Picked up off the waiver wire, Moore hands down represents JFJ's finest hour (it was a looooong hour). He's making only $900 K, and is scheduled to become an unrestricted free agent come July 1st.

Here's hoping Brian Burke doesn't let it get to that point. Moore may be somewhat of an attractive commodity come trade deadline day, but I'd rather the Leafs get his autograph on a new contract. There's something to be said for a guy who works his tail off every night and is able to shed the label of "defensive specialist."

Moore's good people. A Toronto boy. He'll be 29 in August. He can surely teach some of the younger Leafs a thing or two, especially in the faceoff circle. Even during a rebuild, I believe Moore's proven he's the type of guy you want to have stick around.

Required Reading...

Doug Glanville

Doug Glanville is a former Major League Baseball player. He's also an Ivy League graduate, with a degree in systems engineering from Penn. Needless to say, he's one smart cat.

Glanville has, for the past year or so, been writing a guest Op-Ed for The New York Times. It's dope. You really ought to check out the layout. He sheds light on his time in "the show," and his take on the Alex "Douchebag" Rodriguez clusterfuck was a fantastic read.

I know. A smart and articulate baseball player. Who can read and write. It's weird. But trust me, he's in the Times, so he's the real deal.

I love The New York Times.

Puck Huffers

I stumbled upon Puck Huffers thanks to my good friend Wrap Around Curl. It's arguably been the best thing that's happened to me in the last two months. Yeah, I know, I live a fascinating existence. Fuck off.

Anyway, the blog is run by two sassy ladies - Kimberlass and debrisslide - and they write about the trials and tribulations of their beloved Pittsburgh Penguins, who, somehow, are fighting for their playoff lives. They've only got nine more points than the Leafs, that's how dire the situation is down there.

The game recaps over at Puck Huffers are incredible. As is the "Michel Therrien Radar." The ladies' faith in their shitty team never fades. In a way, they remind me of, well, me. In the younger, more optimistic, never-say-die days of my youth.

Seriously, check 'em out. You can thank me later.

Between Hockey, Football, and Stiletto Shoes and Puck Huffers, I may or may not be becoming a Pittsburgh Penguins fan...

The Humming Giraffe

If you're like me, you've been keeping tabs on Mats Sundin. He's gone, but certainly not forgotten. 

I've been getting my Canucks blogging fix over at The Humming Giraffe, where Alix is falling in love with Mats right in front of our very eyes. Let me tell you, it's a beautiful thing.

It's funny how all that talk about Sundin looking slow out there, and being the root cause of all the Canucks' problems, has come to a screeching halt. With 10 points in twelve games, Mats is looking fine, thank you very much. Training camp? Fuck a training camp.

I'm happy for my boy. I'm not the jealous ex who wants to see his sloppy seconds struggle. No sir, not me. I want to see him fall in love again. I want him to be happy. I want him to win the Stanley Cup.

I want a Canucks jersey.

Pension Plan Puppets

I mentioned Wrap Around Curl above. Well, the rookie Leafs fan has joined the team over at Pension Plan Puppets. Recession? Economic downturn? None of that shit exists over at triple-P. The site continues to grow at alarming, housing bubble-like rates. Good on you, guys. And now, gal. An excellent addition to the team, if I must say so myself.

PPP, ruthless dictator of the website, also joined Stephen Amell on a podcast over at Searching for '93. Have a listen. PPP brings the heat, especially when it comes to the Toronto media.

I'm Keith Hernandez

What do you get when you combine Seinfeld and sports bloggage? I'm Keith Hernandez. If you're addicted to Seinfeld much like I am, there's no way you're not going to enjoy this blog. Check out this post on Kevin Millar, who's now officially a Toronto Blue Jay.

"Cowboy up!"

Oh, God. I just threw up in my mouth.

Ok, that's it. Happy reading. Remember the words of one Billy Madison:

Billy: "Sheesh, what's up her butt?"

Veronica Vaughn: "What was that, Billy?"

Billy: "I said 'Reading is...good!'"

The Raycrap Report Vol. 5: An Apology, Maybe...

Sidney Crosby and his hapless Pittsburgh Penguins were the latest team to succumb to the goaltending force known as Andrew Raycroft, dropping a 5-3 decision on Saturday afternoon.

I figured the final nail in the coffin of Pens coach Michel Therrien, or "hockey dad" as he's lovingly called by my girl Lori over at Hockey, Football, and Stiletto Shoes, would have been a loss to the one and only Raycroft. But that wasn't the case. The Pens lost, Therrien's still got his job, and Raycroft continues to defy all logical, well, logic.

Raycroft's effort on Saturday was reminiscent of his days with the Toronto Maple Leafs. He stopped only 21 of 24 shots, but he won. Again. And wins are nice.

Now that he's won seven games in a row...

Sorry, I need a second. I can't believe I just wrote that.

...

OK. My apologies. Let's try this again. Yes, I did just take a shot of Wiser's. 

Now that he's won seven games in a row, it's looking more and more like our good pal Andrew may supplant Peter Budaj as the number one goalie in Denver. Raycroft will be between the pipes tonight in Columbus when the Avalanche visit the Blue Jackets.

I know, what a world.

What I don't know is what Raycroft, now sporting a 9-1 record and a .905 save percentage, wants from me. I don't really know why he's doing this to me. I mean, haven't us Leafs fans, and you know, fans of good goaltending, suffered enough? Raycroft's exploits remind me of Happy Gilmore, when he told Shooter McGavin, "Uh oh, Happy learned how to putt!" Suddenly, he's learned how to play goal again. Bastard. 

I'm at my wits end. How can I make fun of Raycroft when he's sporting solid numbers, and when the Leafs are easier in their own end than a couple of Jarvis St. hookers? I can't, dammit. I've become so disillusioned with Vesa Toskala and his whore-like five-hole to the point where I'm willing to offer Raycroft an apology...maybe.

If, by the end of the season, Raycroft's save percentage (.905) is still higher than Toskala's (.882, fuck!), I will offer Raycroft a full apology, and never, ever, talk smack about him again.

Basically, the ball is now firmly in Toskala's court. He's got half a season to pull up his God damn panties jock strap, and play with some pride. I mean, as a Leafs fan, I don't have much of anything. It would be a damn shame for me to lose "The Raycrap Report," as well.

Oh, and just to warn you, if Raycroft does in fact finish with a higher save percentage than Toskala, and Paul Maurice leads the Carolina Hurricanes to the playoffs, I'm going to need a hug, and a glass of booze, more than I've ever needed either before.