Change of Plans

If I've learned anything over the past six months, it's that nothing -- absolutely nothing -- goes according to script. A few short months ago I was living in Toronto, engaged to be married, and working as a broadcast journalist. None of those three apply today.

On February 2nd, I left for India, scheduled to return at the end of June. But I'm back. Yes, already. (Admit it: you missed me.) Five months on the subcontinent became only two. They were two glorious months, but I had to cut the trip short. For good reason. You see, my travels aren't yet complete; I've still got my backpack, and it's ready to go. There are just a couple of minor changes: I've traded in my copy of the Lonely Planet Guide to India for Joe Posnanski's The Soul of Baseball, and instead of the Motherland, I'll be traveling through the USA. Beginning April 12th in Toronto with the Blue Jays' home opener, I'm setting off on the baseball road trip of a lifetime: 30 cities and 30 stadiums in 60 days.

Between India and TBRTOAL (The Baseball Road Trip Of A Lifetime), it's a no-brainer; the opportunity to make this trip happen will likely never present itself again. Plus, the game holds a special place in my heart. The way I see it, I've got no choice but to hit the road. Even better, I'll be collaborating with The Globe and Mail - GlobeSports.com specifically - as I document my experiences.

I'm genuinely excited; baseball boners abound!1 Over the past two years, I've fallen in love with baseball all over again, and see this journey as the perfect way to renew our vows; the ultimate honeymoon.

Stay tuned ...

Scott Rolen on bad road trips ...

"One year in Philadelphia we won four games in a month so there would have had to have been some bad trips. With St. Louis we went to Chicago and Detroit in 2006. The White Sox beat us in Chicago 20-6, 13-5, and 1-0. In Detroit we lost 10-6, 7-6 in extra extras and 4-1. We lost the next two at home against Cleveland. Inter-league was fun. We still won the World Series that year."

The Cardinals lost 10 of 11 during that brutal stretch of baseball in late June 2006.

And, yes, let's please conveniently ignore the fact that St. Louis won the National League Central with a paltry 83 wins that year. That's not the point.

I believe in Scott Rolen.

Vernon Wells, too.

Bent Not Broken

OK, fine. Really bent. But the point remains: not broken. Except Jesse Carlson and Brian Wolfe. They might be broken after Roy Halladay's though with 'em.

Hey, J.P. Ricciardi: free Jeremy Accardo.

The Blue Jays left home 10 days ago 27-14. They return 27-23. A winless nine-game road trip has rendered their hot start just that: a hot start. And there's nothing wrong with that. The hot start, I mean. Not the road trip. The road trip was completely fucked up.

If you had told me during the off-season that the Jays would lose nine in a row on the road in mid-May (including three to the BoSox) and head into the final series of the month four games above .500, and a game and a half behind the AL East and Wild Card leaders... well, there's no bloody way I'd have believed you. That's outrageous. They would have had to play over .650 ball over their first 40 games.

And they did. The Jays are a game and a half out. I'll take it. 

The road trip? Fuck it. What road trip? It's done and gone.

Much like Cito Gaston's honeymoon. Yesterday's epic loss brought out even the "Fire Cito!" crowd. That's not happening, nor should it. But some lineup changes, some put Lyle Overbay at first base late in games, some don't call for any of Shawn Camp, Carlson, Wolfe or B.J. Ryan from the bullpen, and some urgency would be appreciated. And a win. A win would definitely be appreciated.

Bring on the Red Sox. Greetings to the Massholes. Don't let that nine-game losing streak fool you. It's on. Time to take back the division.

Believe.

The Vernon Wells Hatred Advisory System

As you can see, in the sidebar to your right, up top a little bit, there you go, we're still coming in at SEVERE. But it's new and improved. Not the hate; the hate's been there ever since Wells signed his contract. The image. And it comes courtesy your friend and mine, The Blue Jay Hunter. Cheers, Ian. You're a rudey.

UPDATE: Doc's thrown 14 innings over his last two starts, giving up only three earned runs in the process. He should be 10-1, not 8-1, and that pisses me right off.

UPDATE #2: Archie picked Veronica? Seriously? What a mistake. She was nothing but a bitch, and a tease. 

Road Trip

Last weekend me and the boys went down to Buffalo for the quasi-annual trip to see the Toronto Bills in action. It was a weekend full of win. Well, except for the casino part. Uh, and the football game. 

Saturday night was spent at Boston Pizza on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls, where we watched the Toronto Maple Leafs play the greatest third period of all time against the New York Rangers.

Five goals in five minutes and 21 seconds. That, Stephen Valiquette, is what I like to call revenge.

After making our donation at the casino, we proceeded to cross the border at around 1:15 AM. Of course our good friends, U.S. Border Patrol, summoned us inside, you know, so we could all catch up. Small talk: how are the kids, the dog, the job, when was the last time you visited the Middle East. The regular stuff. We're all real tight down at the Rainbow Bridge. The good people over there certainly never miss an opportunity to personally say hello and welcome us to their beautiful country.

We spent the rest of Saturday night in Niagara Falls, New York and, let me tell you, someone on the American side missed the memo that the area can work out to be a pretty bitching tourist destination. I mean, the Canadian side is absolutely bumping. You cross the border and you're walking deserted streets like Will Smith in I Am Legend. 

Instead of taking another beating at the Seneca Niagara Casino, we ended up at the uber-American institution known as Denny's. It was a no-brainer, really.

As for the game, you can see by the picture above that things are a changing at good old Ralph Wilson Stadium. They're still running the trough system in the washroom, but now that the words "Do Not Urinate In Sink" words emblazon the walls, people have stopped, well, urinating in the sink. I guess all it took was the sign to stop the insanity. Who knew?

Good times were had by one and all. The always pleasant tailgating experience left me joyously inebriated, the weather was beautiful, no one pissed in the sink, and I got into a round of verbal jousting with a Jets fan. He gave me the "You know what Bills stands for? Boy I Love Losing Super Bowls!" line, and it was my moral duty to let him have it. Yeah, the Bills lost, but come on, four out of five ain't bad. On top of it all, I got to see some guy everyone keeps going on about - I believe the gentleman's name is Brett Favre - live and in living colour.

One more thing: if we can't tailgate in Toronto like they do down in Buffalo, they deserve the Bills a lot more than we do. I think I enjoy the tailgating experience more than the actual game itself. Something about drinking heavily and eating red meat at 9:30 in the morning just sits well with me, I guess.

Stay classy, Buffalo...

*Thanks to my new friend Dave Sommer for the picture.