August 20, 2008

Thank You Johnny Damon

I would like to take this opportunity to thank New York Yankees douchebag outfielder Johnny Damon for his shocking inability to catch routine fly balls at the Major League level.

Thank you, Johnny Damon. Thank you for sucking so incredibly.

Damon made sure A.J. Burnett got his 16th win last night. I was at the ball game and, trust me, Burnett deserved it. It might have been his finest performance in a Blue Jays uniform; five hits scattered over eight strong innings, one walk, and 13 punch outs. A.J. struck out Damon, Derek Jeter, Alex Rodriguez and Jason Giambi a combined 10 times. That's domination, folks, plain and simple.

Burnett's now third in all of baseball in wins and strikeouts. He could win 20 games and, boy, wouldn't that be something? It's a damn shame every year can't be a contract year.

Props out to Adam Lind for his game-tying home run in the 7th inning off Yankees starter Darrel Rasner, who was bitch slapping the Jays up until that point. For the record, I prophetically called the Lind home run. And I've got a witness. It might have been the beer talking but, hey, you can call me Navstradamus from here on out.

Do you want to know how sick Adam Lind is? No, do you really want to know? Check this out, jack, from the charming fellas over at The Southpaw.

Props out to Lyle Overbay and B.J. Ryan as well. Overbay made a helluva play on A-Rod in the 9th, gunning him down at second as he tried to stretch a bloop single into a double. Overbay's been a disappointment at the plate (who hasn't?), but I've still got man-love for Lyle. And The Beej picked up his 24th save on the year, getting A-Rod, Giambi and Xavier Nady in the 9th.

I figured the Jays would struggle to put runs on the board last night, coming off that ridiculous 15-run explosion at Fenway Park on Sunday, and they did. But thanks to Damon's misadventures out in centre field, we got the 2-1 win, and that's all that matters.

The series, and one huge week of baseball, continues tonight. Make me proud, David Purcey.

6 comments:

wrap around curl said...

Ahhhhh the Yankees. Where the douches go to get their bags. Or something like that. The Yankees all look very date rapey to me.

eyebleaf said...

especially Giambi and his dirty stache...yikes...

general borschevsky said...

Hey eyebleaf. Don't tell anybody, but I was also at this game. 500-level, behind home plate, awesome view of the Jumbo-tron.
It was my mom's birthday. She loves the Blue Jays. She wants to marry Cito Gaston. For real.
Is SkyDome always a babe-fest? Man, there were a lot of beautiful women there.
Good game. Home-run to tie the game in the 7th, take the lead in the 8th, great defence in the 9th for the win. Nice.
Happy Birthday Mom.

eyebleaf said...

general, believe it or not, but i was in the 500s behind home plate as well.

and, clearly, your mom has awesome taste in men. cito's heavenly.

and, yes, the blue jays are blessed with some lovely looking lady fans. there's nothing quite like a woman in a jersey.

and i'm glad the jays delivered for your mom!

general borschevsky said...

believe it or not, but i was in the 500s behind home plate as well.

That's weird, yet I totally believe it.

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