Selfish

For the most selfish of reasons, I'm happy Roy Halladay didn't no-hit the New York Yankees last night. Actually, perhaps happy isn't the right word. Let's go with relieved. If it happened - if Ramiro Pena didn't hit that double to right field in the sixth inning - while I chose not to be there, I'm not sure what I would have done with myself. (Other than be deeper down a bottle than I've ever been before.) I think I might have died.

Mission Doc - to be in attendance for every Roy Halladay start at the SkyDome this season - hit the wall last night. I don't know if it was because the Toronto Blue Jays have crushed my soul with their recent play, or because Doc has looked remarkably average while not throwing his best pitch while on the mound. Probably a combination of both. Instead of being in attendance, I was live blogging the game for The Score and, by the fifth inning, I knew I'd made the wrong decision. Doc was rightfully punishing my apathy.

Don't get me wrong, I'd have loved to see Doc throw a perfect game, or a no-hitter. Lord knows he's talented enough to do it. Before each and every start he makes, the thought crosses my mind: this could be it. And through five innings Friday night, I thought Doc's destiny had arrived.

Have you ever seen Doc pitch better? It might have been his finest hour. Against the high octane New York Yankees, the best team in baseball, no less. First-pitch strikes; ground ball after ground ball; mind-blowing movement on his pitches; a bases loaded strikeout, looking, of Alex Rodriguez. I know I've said it before, but what a treat Harry Leroy III is to watch.

A complete game, one-hit shutout. Nine strikeouts. Only 111 pitches; 73 of them strikes. Thanks, Doc. I'll never question you again.

Luckily for me, yesterday's game didn't hit the four hour mark. Otherwise I'd have been worried about my erection.

Kevin "You're Such A Disease" Millar

Drunk Jays Fans' Stoeten was kind of pissed off that Cito Gaston had everyone's favourite Blue Jay Kevin Millar batting cleanup last night. I think we can all agree that it makes zero sense for Millar to be in that position, while Randy Ruiz sits on the bench. While I'm certainly not aboard the "Fire Cito" train my man Drew-LtB is riding, I understand the frustration.

Anyway, there's no point in extolling just how God-awful Millar truly is. I'm sure he's a fine human being, and a dear in the clubhouse, but he's useless on the baseball field. Make him a bench coach, if he's that fucking great to have around. But get him off the field.

Now that Mark Rzepczynski's been shut down, I selfishly propose that Millar take his spot in the rotation. If he does, all will be forgiven. I could use some motivation to watch this team. And I sure as hell could use the entertainment.

Live Bloggage

I've got you covered for today's rubber match, a matinee affair, between the Blue Jays and Indians over at The Score, as Toronto continues its quest to reach the .500 mark. Mediocrity; it's unparalleled.

I know what you're thinking: lucky me, I get to type "Mark Rzepczynski" all afternoon. You're right, and you better believe he'll be referred to as RZep.

Click through - Indians vs. Jays live blog - and come join me. You know there's nothing quite like afternoon baseball to absolutely destroy your productivity levels at work. We'll be getting under way at 12:30 PM.

.500!!!!1

"Something, perhaps, from above ..."

The baseball Gods were most definitely in the house that dirty Yankee money built on Monday afternoon. How else to explain John McDonald's home run? And three missed calls by the umpires in favour of the Blue Jays?

It was the baseball Gods' way of making up for some their recent douchebaggery, in respect to Toronto's injured arms. Try as the healthy arms might to blow a 7-1 lead, and Brandon League, Jeremy Accardo, and Jason "The Sausage King" Frasor really gave it their all, the Jays weren't leaving New York without a win.

While it certainly doesn't even the score, the efforts from above were certainly appreciated. With Marc Rzepczynski taking the ball tomorrow (who?), hopefully there's more where that came from.

Keeping with the appreciation vibe, I'm very thankful for Scott Rolen. Now at 23 games, I hope his hitting streak can outlast Shawn Green's team record of 28. After only a year and a half in Toronto, Rolen is already well-deserving of having some Jays history attached to his name. He's that fucking good. (GBOAT!!1)

Also: Ricky Romero. Sweet, sweet Ricky Romero. Believe that he could win Rookie of the Year.

UPDATE: It's rare, but sometimes the "Monkey Army" at Drunk Jays Fans is actually good for something. Case in point: one of them pointed out that Shaun Marcum took the hill for the Dunedin Blue Jays Monday night. Three innings pitched, two hits allowed, and one strikeout. In typical fashion, he retired six via groundout, and two via flyout. North of fucking Steeles! I can definitely drink to that.