Until May 29th, Massholes

Look at that, the Blue Jays are still in first place; still playing .600 baseball.

The Red Sox? I hate to channel my inner Dennis Green, but those bastards are who we thought they were.

Yet despite the sweep, it wasn't all bad. 

Brian Tallet gave Cito a quality start in Fenway Park, and Brett Cecil and Bobby Ray learned valuable lessons in defeat. 

The bullpen? Lights out. No Toronto reliever allowed a run. In nine innings of work spread over the three game set, a committee of Jason Frasor, B.J. Ryan, Shawn Camp, Brian Wolfe, Brandon League and Jesse Carlson allowed only seven hits while striking out 12, and walking only two.

Rejoice, Red Sox Nation. Revel in the fact that your beloved BoSox defeated Tallet, who before April 18 last started a game back in 2006, and two rookies fresh from the minors.

While the Jays weren't able to score runs, they sure did hit the ball. Toronto's offence pounded out 25 hits over the last two games, and left 29 men on base in the series, including 12 last night. The big hit simply remained elusive. When you live by the long ball, some nights you die by the long ball. That's the beauty of baseball.

See you next week, at our house, Massholes.

And we'll see you, young Travis Snider, in about a month.

Required Reading:

Over at The Mockingbird, check out the calls Jon Lester got last night from home plate umpire Marvin Hudson. Shocking.

The sky is falling

The Blue Jays have lost two in a row to the evil Boston Red Sox. A fickle fanbase is questioning what it all means on Twitter ...

"Think the Blue Jays are learning what the AL East is all about." - dfs78

Ah, the AL East. You mean the division the Jays went 37-35 against in 2008, 36-36 against in 2007, 43-31 against in 2006, and 38-36 against in 2005. Right, that division.

"My oh my - are we seeing the dismantling of the Jays dreams tonight? I wonder if the charade is up." - chrisfromcanada

The Jays are 78-53 since Cito took over, and are still the best team in the American League, but two losses to the Red Sox, at Fenway Park, in unfathomable succession, means the "charade" might be up. Sounds about right.

"jays, i love that you are showing faith in your rookie pitchers, but maybe it's time for a legit #2 arm? for reals. for really reals." - berlap

"For really reals"? The fuck? 

"After tonight's game the Jays will be 1-4 against non-BAL opponents in the AL East; go away, frauds." - JamalG

Against non-BAL opponents in the AL East, Jamal's beloved Yankees are 4-9. In his magical world, that makes New York legit.

"watching the beginning of the end of the blue jays' season." - jbyck

You know what, you're absolutely right. Those first 41 games? Fuck 'em. It's over.

"jays playing real teams = back to reality. Enjoy the freefall!" - scottph

As opposed to all those fake teams Toronto played through the first month and a half of the season. 

"Jays trip to Boston = Rihanna's trip to the Grammy's." - scwatts

Hilarious.

"The last two series vs. the Yanks/Sox have shown the Jays what happens when you play real teams...the wheels are falling off." - justingaynor

Forget about the wheels, I must really have missed the memo about all these fake MLB teams Yankees and Red Sox fans are talking about. Who knew?

"Jay's are front runners. they are collapsing faster then the economy last june." - FRwritings

Never mind the [sic]'s (RIP Fire Joe Morgan). The Jays' two-game losing streak against Boston, in May, at Fenway Park, where Boston has won more than 48 games every season dating back to 2003, is clearly on par, if not more dramatic in scope, with the collapse of the U.S. and global economy. A sticker for FRwritings for staying on top of current affairs.

Two games later, and the white towels of surrender are being readied. When it comes to the Jays, Toronto's got a complex, "for really reals." 

Look, it was an important lesson learned by Brett Cecil, and he'll be a better pitcher because of it. It's a long, long season; ups and downs. Have a drink, and enjoy the fucking ride. 

Remember, Cito's Jays have yet to lose three in a row. Even if they do, they're still heading to Atlanta atop the standings.

Viva Scutaro

Every now and then, I get something right. It's rare, but it does actually happen. Here's what I wrote back in December, when rumours of Rafael Furcal becoming a Blue Jay were flying around, and when some in the Jays' blogosphere were questioning Marco Scutaro's spot on the team ...

Rafael Furcal? It's possible. Although I still don't think Marco Scutaro at shortstop is what's wrong with the 2009 Blue Jays.

What I was insinuating, of course, was that a) there's nothing wrong with the 2009 Blue Jays, and b) 41 games into the season Scutaro would arguably be the most productive shortstop in all of baseball.

Scoots has walked an impressive 35 times, tops in the Majors. (Derek Jeter, for example, has taken a free pass only 16 times.) Scutaro also leads the Majors in runs scored, with 36, and his 20 RsBI are good for second in the American League among shortstops.

All this while playing flawless defense in 348.2 innings on the field. He's the only shortstop in baseball yet to make an error.

John McDonald who?

Brooms

Even the baseball Gods are shining down upon the Blue Jays. A four game set against the Chicago White Sox, and Toronto missed Mark Buehrle. You know what that means: brooms!1

In between Roy Halladay's start on Sunday, we blessed Jays fans were treated to a combined 21 innings from Brett Cecil, Robert Ray and Scott Richmond, in which they allowed only 14 hits and three earned runs. If that doesn't get you aroused, this should: on May 18, 2008, the Blue Jays' pitching staff, which would go on to be the best in baseball last year, had allowed 181 runs. On May 19, 2009, the Jays have allowed 174 runs, and have scored a whopping 60 more. 

Oh yeah, Halladay won the AL Player of the Week award. If he cared, I might, too.

Off to Boston

A big series, one in which the kids Cecil and Ray will get their first taste of Fenway Park. No Doc, but I've got faith. Here's hoping the offense makes the short porch out in left field its bitch, and gives the kids some support.

Sure, it's still early, but there's a sense of satisfaction about heading down to the Massholes' natural environment as the hunted, rather than the hunter.

Remember, I hate the Boston Red Sox. You should, too.

They say it's impolite to stare ...

... but I could look at the standings all day long.

The Jays have the AL East's best record, most productive offense (batting .305 with runners in scoring position!), and best pitching staff (a 1.28 staff WHIP!). The view from the top is everything I thought it would be.

Brett Cecil continues to arouse Jays fans across the land. The Beej is back. And don't put too much stock into J.P. Ricciardi's comments about the pitching staff, and his optioning of Ricky Romero to Las Vegas. Ricciardi's a liar, remember? Romero will be back with the Jays before May is out.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot: Aaron Hill > Dustin Pedroia.

A quarter of the season is just about in the books. You'd be foolish not to believe.

UPDATE: Bartolo Colon is fat.

Those obnoxious, annoying Blue Jays fans

I like Jeff Passan. Enjoy his work. Been reading him ever since he joined Yahoo! Sports. But Passan doesn't feel the same way about me, or us. He thinks we - Toronto Blue Jays fans - are obnoxious, annoying homers.

About a month ago, while travelling the internetz, I stopped by a live chat being run by the fine folks at Big League Stew. Cliff Lee was the topic of conversation at the time and, as I involuntarily do whenever I read or hear Cliff Lee's name, I commented that Roy Halladay, and certainly not Lee, should have won the 2008 American League Cy Young Award.

That was enough to set off Passan. Here's what he had to say:

"I have a feeling that if the Blue Jays are ever good again, they're going to give Red Sox fans a run for their obnoxious money.

"I love Roy Halladay -- picked him to win the CY this year -- but come on. How can you make that argument?

"I'm just saying: Toronto fans are tremendously parochial, to the point that it becomes annoying. They are funny and cool and I'd definitely love to drink a beer with them, but their homerism is way over the top."

It's been a few weeks - I am arguably the world's greatest procrastinator - but allow me to respond.

Well, Mr. Passan, the Jays are good again. And while I'm the last person in Toronto to argue a charge of over-the-top homerism, to say that Blue Jays fans could ever be as obnoxious as the Massholes is flat-out fucking ridiculous. That's a whole other level of douchebaggery.

Oh yeah, Halladay. Look, Doc faced the Boston Red Sox, Tampa Bay DEVIL Rays, and New York Yankees a combined 16 times last season. Six starts against New York, and five each against Boston and Tampa Bay. Cliff Lee faced those three teams four times. One start against Boston, one against New York, and two versus Tampa Bay. The only team Lee faced five times last season: the 75-87 Kansas City Royals.

I know the schedule is largely to blame, but that's why I can make that argument, Mr. Passan. Because that disparity has got to mean something.

But it's all good. The beer's on me, Passan. Enough about 2008, and Cliff Lee.

How about Brian Tallet? The much maligned J.P. Ricciardi has somehow put together an embarrassment of riches on the mound for the Blue Jays, and you probably won't find him getting much credit for it.

With guys like Casey Janssen and Ricky Romero set to return in a week or so, and Jesse Litsch not far behind, questions abound. Such as: how the fuck do you return Tallet to the bullpen?

And while I hate to overlook the second edition of Cecil Time this afternoon, Tuesday night looms large: Roy Halladay vs. A.J. Burnett. 

Be there. I need not say more.

UPDATE: I lied, I do have more to say. As bklades pointed out in the comments, and I fully agree with him, when it comes to Jays fans, pessimism reigns supreme.  Most casual fans are just waiting for this Jays team to struggle so they can say "I told you so!" Some advice: if you're going to depart the bandwagon, do so quietly. And use the door at the back, assholes.

You know all that hype? Believe it.

Look at Ovechkin. Look at those two grown men embracing. Good times are being had by all. (Well, except the Penguins. And their fans.)

It's Ovechkin vs Crosby and Malkin. Ovie vs Sid and Geno. Three of hockey's finest players, none older than 23, squaring off in the second round of the playoffs. A series that is so far - somehow - actually living up to its incredulous media hype.

And I've been kind of apathetic towards it. I figured it was just that: hype. 

I've caught about 45 minutes of actual action throughout the first two games. Truthfully, I've been watching more Toronto Blue Jays baseball. Hey, they're a first place team, asshole. (Playoffs!!1)

Full highlights of games one and two have been watched, though. Amply. A helluva playoff series is going down. The stars are shining. Well, except that Malkin guy. And, umm, where was this Varlamov character all season?

I caught the third period last night, and my reaction to hat-tricks by both Crosby and Ovechkin was a hearty "fuck off." (Ovie's third was something, enough for Bob Cole's trademarked "OH BABY!") Both #87 and #8 have officially taken their game to the proverbial "next level." It certainly does exist. And it's slightly arousing to watch.

Wednesday night, the Blue Jays are in Anaheim. Which means a most accomodating 10:05 PM eastern start time. One that works out perfectly because, clearly, there's a hockey game to be watched.

As the fine folks at Puck Daddy pointed out a few days ago, Mario Lemieux and Wayne Gretzky never met in the playoffs. I guess this is what it would have been like.

Some quick, penetrating thoughts: Crosby complaining about hats being thrown on the ice to celebrate an Ovechkin hat-trick - the nerve of Washington fans! - is going to do wonders for his reputation as a whiny little bitch crybaby. He must have the same PR guy as Mats Sundin ... Chris Kunitz is officially a douchebag. Cross-checking the goalie in the neck? Stay classy ... Mario Lemieux's playoff beard can only be admired and appreciated. I am in love with that man. Did you know that when he came into the league Lemieux asked to wear #99? So as to not draw too much attention to his desire to be better than Gretzky, and create his own brand, he simply flipped the numbers around. What a man ... It's going to be quite the afternoon: Brett Cecil makes his MLB debut for the Jays, followed by Man United vs Arsenal. For Cecil, the beginning of a promising career. For the Gunners, the end of their Champions League aspirations.