November 21, 2008

It's Official: I'm Depressed


The onset of winter has me, once again, questioning why I live in this God forsaken city. I hate when Mother Nature whores it up tundra style in fucking November. To add to my malaise, it's official: Manny Ramirez will not become a Toronto Blue Jay this winter.

The dream is dead. J.P. Ricciardi killed it. I know, it was the longest of long shots to begin with and, deep down, I knew it wasn't going to happen. But, well, still. I could have done without J.P. flat out saying "We won't be involved with Manny," and completely ruining my Thursday afternoon. Asshole.

Alright, so Manny won't be donning powder blue. But J.P. will sign one of Jason Giambi or Milton Bradley instead, right?


This is where I get confused. I hate Jason Giambi. With a passion. I hate his steroid-abusing ways, and the fact that he only came clean after he got caught. I hate the stache. I hate that he was a Yankee. But I'd welcome him to Toronto with open arms. That's how much I want his bat (that's what she said).

The same goes for Milton Bradley. The man is a lunatic, but I can't say no to that 2008 163 OPS+.

J.P. Ricciardi certainly has more will power than I.

OK, the kids, Adam Lind and Travis Snider, will play left field and DH. That's cool. All part of the plan. J.P. will use the money he's got at his disposal and plug some holes in the rotation via free agency. Brad Penny, perhaps. Or Derek Lowe. A flier on Jon Garland. Maybe even Pedro Martinez, or Randy Johnson.

Right?

Wrong. None of those guys are on J.P.'s radar. Nobody is. Clearly J.P.'s radar is broken because he's got to be shitting me when he says that he, the Jays, and, by cause and effect, me, are going to be sitting out the free agent frenzy. 

There is one, uh, minor exception. A contract, on lovely Blue Jays stationary and worth $54 million over four years, is currently lost amongst more lucrative offers atop A.J. Burnett's agent's desk. But I simply can't imagine Burnett signing on Toronto's dotted line. He'll take more money, and a chance to play with Derek Jeter, and Mariano Rivera, in the new Yankee Stadium. No hard feelings. I'd take the fattest cheque, too.

I do truly wish for Burnett to stay in the AL East. I want the Jays to face him. A lot. I want the Jays to beat him. I want Roy Halladay to beat him. Ideally, I want him to watch Toronto make the playoffs. And I want to watch him inevitably hit the disabled list (seriously, no hard feelings).

If it were up to me, I'd take all that A.J. money, plus some more, pack it in suitcases, and show up at ManRam's door. Make like Jerry Maguire, you know, and show him the money. Make him an offer he can't refuse.

J.P.'s got to do something. A winter watching on the sidelines is not acceptable, and will not be tolerated. It just might make Richard Griffin's head explode. 

For once, I find myself hoping that Ricciardi is actually lying this time.

17 comments:

Johnny G said...

I can't see JP wanting to stand pat. Especially at the now height of his unpopularity. But these public comments make me wonder. Maybe he is trying to downplay interest to lower the price?

I see this all more of a corporate Rogers thing limiting payroll or cutting back rather then JP thinking things are status quo and gonna be ok.

eyebleaf said...

I think a lot of it has to do with the Cdn dollar getting ravaged. It's trading at 78 cents. Perhaps Teddy Rogers is tightening the strings.

matthias @ mopupduty said...

On top of the money woes that you mention this is the last season of "cheap" Vernon Wells. With his bonus he's due $10 million total in 2009. In 2010 he will receive $21 million and in 2011 $23 million. Good luck trading that contract.

J.P. has to figure out if the Jays are going for the playoffs now or in the next few years. This 80 - 87 win stuff isn't cutting it.

The Ack said...

I invite you to Winnipeg in, oh, mid-January or February. Bring your prozac, broseph.

eyebleaf said...

@ Mathias: I don't want to trade Vernon, but you're not helping with the whole depression thing. Ugh.

@ Ack: You're right. I shouldn't be bitching about the weather. I've never been to Winnipeg. I imagine it's cold. Colder than Edmonton in March? I'm not sure. But I've never been colder in my life than when I was in Edmonton.

Johnny G said...

I'm in London Ontario and it just won't stop snowing. It is making me Sad!

"Dave Schultz" said...

Great picture!

Doesn't it snow year-round in Canada? JK!

fantasybaseballmacbookpro said...

Winter is great, just a step closer until Shinny!

I would be extremely disappointed if the Jays don't land a free agent hitter in the off-season. If the Jays don't find a way to add some run production they are going to find themselves in the lovely spot of 4th in our division. Well, you never know the Orioles might pull off a Rays comeback.

JP and Wells made his contract so the Jays could have flexibility to win now so JP better spend some big bucks on a 1/2 year contract on a hitter so they do have a chance to compete.

If they don't spend money to put a competitive team on the field it doesn't matter how sweet the exchange rate favours us north of the border. The more losses we put in our column the more fans will stay home and spend their money on other things.

Ian H. said...

At least J.P. could have lied to us all off season long. Instead, he had to burst the bubble in November, and gives us little to look forward to when it comes to free agent signings. Get the wheels turning on that B.J. Ryan/J.J. Hardy trade!

dani said...

Oh, I see you've found my snow sculpture...

JT said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JT said...

Awesome photo. I almost used that one when deciding on one to use in my earlier diatribe about the harsh winters I face in Tennessee.

Lori said...

I live in cleveland.. what a fitting snow sculpture. And.. I think your comment box just called me honey...

eyebleaf said...

@ Johnny: Snow makes me sad too. And you're right "Sad" with a capital S.

@ Schultzy: That's just American propaganda!

@ Fantasy: Winter is great? Have you lost it, man? I think J.P. is lying in regards to doing nothing. He's got to be. As for ppl in this town spending money on other things, when it comes to sports, there's no better value than a Jays game. The team provides a valuable service to the community, and I've been meaning to write about that.

@ Ian: I still think we have bigger problems than shortstop. Plus, if the season is going to be a brutal one, I want BJ to stick around, for his fist pumps alone. But I'm with you, I'd rather be lied to all off-season long.

@ Dani: Thank you for building it!

@ JT: How harsh are the winters down in Tennessee? I'm intrigued.

@ Lori: Cleveland rocks! Sorry, I had to say it. I was down there last March, it blizzarded. And it was mighty cold. And my comment box did call you honey. Is that a bad thing?

JT said...

Oh, they're terrible man. If we're lucky, we get one good snow storm each decade...

Lori said...

OMG March in Cleveland... that was like another world.. and the comment box? I kind of liked it... Let me know if you even venture back.. not that you should, it's a shit hole.

longge said...

They may absolutely accomplish you attending fashionable and cutting the absolute affair but fakes don't feel or action like absolute ugg boots . You could end up activity absolutely afflictive and bathed with apery ugg . uggs are trend ambience in the haute couture with their abundance and adequate appeal. Abounding like ugg cardy boots for two reasons, some for its artful looks and some others for its trendsetting appeal. But in contempo times, these ugg cardy appear in a audible band of styles catered to the needs of the avant-garde and actualization acquainted women.