July 22, 2009

The Airing of Grievances

The Blue Jays are nine and a half games out of a playoff spot. So why the fuck did last night's loss sting so bad? Forget "Playoffs!!1", the new rallying cry should be ".500!!1"

Lyle Overbay's my boy. I've been a staunch supporter of the man who swatted 46 doubles, and put up a career high .880 OPS, in his first season with Toronto, back in 2006. But the pride of Centralia, Washington messed up last night. Look at that picture; he knows it. When it comes to Loverbay, his defense is usually reliable, and I'm rather enamored by his impressive .375 OBP; he's one patient cat. But the fact that he hasn't driven in a single God damn run in the month of July - 14 games - really irks me. Hitting wise, I'm beginning to think that 2006 was an anomaly. I don't see Overbay ever coming close to 92 RsBI again. (This is where I start drinking.)

Honestly, I'm tired of wondering, and bitching and moaning about, why Vernon Wells is hitting third, or fourth, in this lineup. Southpaw on the mound be damned. His .685 OPS in the three-hole is the lowest of any spot he's been placed in the batting order. His .287 OBP from the same spot is downright laughable. (Wells' .309 OBP, overall, and .523 OPS at the SkyDome, makes me want to bang my head against a wall. Repeatedly.) While V-Dub's scored 53 runs, good for second on the team, the earliest he should be batting is sixth. Hell, put him eighth. Definitely not third. I don't know what the fuck Cito Gaston is thinking sometimes. I love the guy, but his lineup antics have him well on his way to overstaying his welcome. (You know I'm frustrated when I'm sitting in the basement taking shots at The Cito.)

Can someone pretty please explain why Kevin Millar is still playing, let alone on this team at all? He's clearly cut from the same cloth as Brevonn Mencherstewart. Here are his monthly OPS numbers: April: .909; May: .647; June: .598; July: .526. I'm not the brightest mother fucker around, but does anyone else notice a trend? This team is two games below .500, with rookie after rookie throwing on the mound every night, and still employing Millar? Fuck off. Fuck a "clubhouse guy." Release his ass, Ricciardi. Free Travis Snider. For the love of God, free AAA All-Star Randy Ruiz, he of these statistics down in Vegas: 95 games played, 21 home runs, 85 RsBI, 227 total bases, .394 OBP, and .985 OPS.

I miss Gregg Zuan. Yeah, I said it. Rod Barajas is OK, it's just that I don't believe any Major League Baseball player should have an on-base percentage below .300. It's unacceptable. Rod's coming in at .283, with an OPS of .685. Quite pathetic. Quite. Back in 2004, 2005, and 2007, when Zaunie played over 100 games for our Blue Jays, he put up OPS numbers of .761 (.367 OBP), .729 (.355 OBP), and .752 (.341 OBP) respectively. Respectable, at the very least. To put it in perspective, in those three years mentioned (2004, 2005, and 2007), Zaun walked 171 times. In his entire MLB career, spanning 763 games, Barajas has walked 135 times. These will be, I hope, your last couple of months of watching The Captain behind the plate. Enjoy them.

Back on July 1st, 2008, Dustin "Fuck Off" Parkes, of Drunk Jays Fans fame, put together a Blue Jays YouTube montage to the tune This Year, by The Mountain Goats. The 2008 Jays were floundering near the .500 mark, unable to hit, and about to fire their manager. Needless to say, it was a brilliant montage, and the song was most apt. You know me; I love a good montage. (Who doesn't?) Thanks to MLB's batshit insane copyright standards, Parkes' work no longer exists. Now, I don't have the wherewithal to create my own montage, so I'm just going to post the song. The 2009 Blue Jays are flirting with .500, can't hit, employ one stubborn manager, and are on the verge of trading Roy Halladay. The more things change, the more they stay the same ...

"I am going to make it through this year if it kills me."


And a reminder: I'll be live blogging Thursday's Jays/Indians matinee over at The Score. Join me. We can be depressed together. 12:37 PM first pitch.


furcifer said...

I think Kevin Millar should stay on the condition he returns to using "Tiny Dancer" by Elton John, as he did for one game, as his entrance music.

Yes, I judge all players by their entrance music. Rolen? Coldplay? C'mon dude you can do so much better.

The Ack said...

You really are fucking losing it, dude.

But here's the crazy thing....there's nothing to argue about on any of your points.

Logic be damned, I want a thumper at 1B. A scary bat. Or at least, someone who can stand in against lefties. Or at least, a platoon partner to face said lefties who won't embarrass himself.

Vernon.....just, fuck.

If Millar's such a great clubhouse guy, give him his goddamned outright release and give him a job sitting next to Butterfield on the bench.

And Barajas seems like a likeable fellow, but I'd like him even more if he played, oh, 40 games a season.

Penna.....I mean, .500!

furcifer said...

Oh and as for the basement:


I'm concerned.

Ian H. said...

I feel your pain, brother. Last night's loss was especially hard to take because Cecil had a horseshoe up his ass and couldn't lose no matter how hard he tried or how many runners he had on base.

For a moment there, with the bases loaded and one out in the 9th, I thought Scotty Downs would do it. Stupid V-Mart.

Is it time for the "Feats of Strength" yet?

Anonymous said...

I hate how much that song has been the anthem of this team for me since Parkes put together the montage. It was a great montage and the song (except for 41 games at the beginning of the season) perfectly describes how I feel, I just wish it didn't.

Jeremy said...

Lyle Overbay's family doesn't celebrate Christmas, and he's sick of being persecuted for his beliefs. Now get over here and fight your father!

William said...

That's how much this blog has gotten under my skin. I saw Downs blow the save and immediately thought of "Eye" and the "Beholders." Tough, tough loss.

Like another comment above, there wasn't one off the mark point in this rather blasty post. Look, if you can't compete with who you have, at least give the kids a shot and let them learn on the job.

As for Wells, release him. Millar has been the most overrated player for years, even his glory years on the Red Sox. The guy should be released as well. Wells, Barajas and Millar would have trouble finding jobs on the Royals much less than any other team.

Scary last night that the great Peter Gammons was talking like Scutaro and Lind were on the trade block along with Halladay. Geez.

Aquamelli said...


If we trade Adam Lind... Im officially cutting ties with this organization

eyebleaf said...

@ Furcifer: Fuck Millar, and his entrance music. As for Rolen and Coldplay, Rolen can come to the plate with the speakers blasting whatever he damn well pleases. He's been one of the only bright spots in another clusterfuck of a season. GBOAT. And that article from The Star was fucking hilarious. Cheers.

@ The Ack: Last night knocked the wind out of my proverbial sails. You're right about Millar; make the fucker the batting practice tosser, or something. I still can't believe Zaunie walked more in three seasons than Barajas has in his entire fucking career.

@ Ian: When V-Mart's ball landed fair, I looked up to the sky, hands in the air, and yelled a la Costanza. And Gibby would have been perfect for The Feats of Strength. He took care of Lilly and Shea. I'm sure he could beat the fuck out of Vernon, that pudgy bastard.

@ Infield: When Parkes posted that video, it was the first time I didn't to a post of his with "Fuck off, Parkes." That shit was brilliant. Damn Bud Selig. He's getting grieved, too.

@ Jeremy: Lyle Overbay vs Cito Gaston. Who you got?

@ William: You're practically a Jays fan now, mate. (Sorry about that.) Re: Wells, we can only dream that he be released. Imagine eating $90 million in salary? LOL. And surely you mean Scoots and Rolen. There's no way, absolutely no way, Lind is being dealt.

@ Aqua: Fear not, my good man. Lind ain't going nowhere. The candidates to be dealt are Scoots, Rolen, Overbay, Barajas, Frasor and Downs. Scoots and Barajas are free agents this winter. The rest, after next season. Shit's looking bleak, yo.

Anonymous said...

Vernon Wells: FUCK OFF

matthias @ mopupduty said...

"why Kevin Millar is still playing, let alone on this team at all?"

You got that right! Everyone knows that a roster spot is worth $10+ million, so why hold onto this piece of shit. He's god awful. His average is barely .200 since May 1st. He needs to go.

Mattt said...

I agree with everything you wrote. Does that mean we're all losing our minds over this season?

David Dellucci said...

I feel left out.

furcifer said...

Did you hear JP's ESPN interview? The way it went it's not a matter if Halladay gets traded but when.

I'm crying already. I'll be there Friday.

eyebleaf said...

I'd just like everyone to know that 25th Hour owns a Vernon Wells jersey. Take that for what it's worth.

@ Matthias: I'm with you on this one; Millar's a bum.

@ Matt: Yes. Yes it does.

@ David Dellucci: You came in with zero expectaations, and couldn't even meet those.

@ Furcifer: I did just hear that interview. If Doc won't sign the extension, and it's clear he's told J.P. he won't, then he's got to go. The sooner the better. Thanks for the memories, Doc.

looshV said...

Oh god if we trade Adam Lind I will go fuckin ape shit!

Anonymous said...

Guys, have you not heard of Rolen's dry wit and funky sense of humour? When you hear his entrance music you know it just doesn't make sense: he's playing hot not cold!

Eyeleaf, is that article from the Star about Rolen? If so, can I have the link.

QJays said...

I haven't checked the numbers lately, so I could be wrong, and I'm rushing as it is ... but my impression is that 2nd base is much more off limits to base runners with Barahas behind the plate. If it's true that his throw-outs are better, then multiply the value of that slightly because it means some runners simply don't take off because of his better numbers. I don't recall runners worrying too much about Zauny taking them down.
I'll take a reasonable hit in OBP if it comes with less runners standing on 2nd, but like I said, I don't have the full breakdown. Right now, it's just an impression.