July 22, 2009
The Blue Jays are nine and a half games out of a playoff spot. So why the fuck did last night's loss sting so bad? Forget "Playoffs!!1", the new rallying cry should be ".500!!1"
Lyle Overbay's my boy. I've been a staunch supporter of the man who swatted 46 doubles, and put up a career high .880 OPS, in his first season with Toronto, back in 2006. But the pride of Centralia, Washington messed up last night. Look at that picture; he knows it. When it comes to Loverbay, his defense is usually reliable, and I'm rather enamored by his impressive .375 OBP; he's one patient cat. But the fact that he hasn't driven in a single God damn run in the month of July - 14 games - really irks me. Hitting wise, I'm beginning to think that 2006 was an anomaly. I don't see Overbay ever coming close to 92 RsBI again. (This is where I start drinking.)
Honestly, I'm tired of wondering, and bitching and moaning about, why Vernon Wells is hitting third, or fourth, in this lineup. Southpaw on the mound be damned. His .685 OPS in the three-hole is the lowest of any spot he's been placed in the batting order. His .287 OBP from the same spot is downright laughable. (Wells' .309 OBP, overall, and .523 OPS at the SkyDome, makes me want to bang my head against a wall. Repeatedly.) While V-Dub's scored 53 runs, good for second on the team, the earliest he should be batting is sixth. Hell, put him eighth. Definitely not third. I don't know what the fuck Cito Gaston is thinking sometimes. I love the guy, but his lineup antics have him well on his way to overstaying his welcome. (You know I'm frustrated when I'm sitting in the basement taking shots at The Cito.)
Can someone pretty please explain why Kevin Millar is still playing, let alone on this team at all? He's clearly cut from the same cloth as Brevonn Mencherstewart. Here are his monthly OPS numbers: April: .909; May: .647; June: .598; July: .526. I'm not the brightest mother fucker around, but does anyone else notice a trend? This team is two games below .500, with rookie after rookie throwing on the mound every night, and still employing Millar? Fuck off. Fuck a "clubhouse guy." Release his ass, Ricciardi. Free Travis Snider. For the love of God, free AAA All-Star Randy Ruiz, he of these statistics down in Vegas: 95 games played, 21 home runs, 85 RsBI, 227 total bases, .394 OBP, and .985 OPS.
I miss Gregg Zuan. Yeah, I said it. Rod Barajas is OK, it's just that I don't believe any Major League Baseball player should have an on-base percentage below .300. It's unacceptable. Rod's coming in at .283, with an OPS of .685. Quite pathetic. Quite. Back in 2004, 2005, and 2007, when Zaunie played over 100 games for our Blue Jays, he put up OPS numbers of .761 (.367 OBP), .729 (.355 OBP), and .752 (.341 OBP) respectively. Respectable, at the very least. To put it in perspective, in those three years mentioned (2004, 2005, and 2007), Zaun walked 171 times. In his entire MLB career, spanning 763 games, Barajas has walked 135 times. These will be, I hope, your last couple of months of watching The Captain behind the plate. Enjoy them.
Back on July 1st, 2008, Dustin "Fuck Off" Parkes, of Drunk Jays Fans fame, put together a Blue Jays YouTube montage to the tune This Year, by The Mountain Goats. The 2008 Jays were floundering near the .500 mark, unable to hit, and about to fire their manager. Needless to say, it was a brilliant montage, and the song was most apt. You know me; I love a good montage. (Who doesn't?) Thanks to MLB's batshit insane copyright standards, Parkes' work no longer exists. Now, I don't have the wherewithal to create my own montage, so I'm just going to post the song. The 2009 Blue Jays are flirting with .500, can't hit, employ one stubborn manager, and are on the verge of trading Roy Halladay. The more things change, the more they stay the same ...
"I am going to make it through this year if it kills me."
And a reminder: I'll be live blogging Thursday's Jays/Indians matinee over at The Score. Join me. We can be depressed together. 12:37 PM first pitch.