July 06, 2009


Back in 1999, the Toronto Blue Jays canned B.J. Birdie. (Is it "Birdie," or "Birdy"?) Ten years later, it seems the same fate awaits another flightless bird, B.J. Ryan.

Seriously, I can't imagine it's worth it for J.P. Ricciardi to use valuable Rogers daytime minutes to call another team about The Beej. He'd be laughed off the phone, time and time again.

As general manager of the Blue Jays, I think Ricciardi has done more good than bad over the years. But in hindsight, which is easy for me to use, pantless from my mother's basement, Ryan's signing might go down as J.P.'s worst.

It was tough to watch Ryan, the $12 million dollar once-dominant closer, come into yesterday's game in the fourth inning, the first man out of the bullpen to try and hold an 8-to-7 lead against New York. He failed. Miserably. Of the five relievers who tossed four-and-a-third innings of relief on Sunday, Ryan was the only one to allow any runs. The fact he walked two Yankees, his eleventh and twelfth walks in only nine innings pitched on the road (a 2.89 WHIP away from the SkyDome, egads!), was the tipping point.

The Beej is finished, yo.

I don't envy the person who had to give B.J. Birdie his walking papers back in the day. It couldn't have been easy. Ryan's remaining salary be damned, someone's eventually going to have to make the tough call on him, too. Delegate to your heart's content, Ricciardi.

The Yankees have had their way with the Jays, and Toronto's now seven games back. Worse yet, Cito's boys are only one game above .500. A game above water. Hard to believe, really. I thought all that .500 talk left town with John Gibbons.

After starting the season 27-and-14, the Jays have gone 15-and-27. From the highest high, to the lowest low, to right back where they started.

Half a season remains, and there's no reason to believe the Jays can't win 27 of their next 41 games. (Actually, that's not the case; there are a bevy of reasons, but fuck discussing them.) Sure, they'll have to do it against better quality opposition, using less experienced pitchers, and with a completely useless David Dellucci in left field, but that doesn't mean it can't be done.

UPDATE: Oh yeah, the All-Star game. Doc and Aaron Hill are on their way. That's not news. We knew they were all-stars a month and a half ago. Scott Rolen and Marco Scutaro, while not officially, are all-stars in my books. Same with Scott Downs. And vote for Adam Lind. He'd vote for you.


"Dave Schultz" said...

Vernon Wells should totally flip the fuck out. Just to do it.

Callum said...

BJ Birdie > Ace.

The Ack said...

"pantless from my mother's basement" made me laugh. Which is an achievement given my mood this morning. So, yeah.

Also, BJ Ryan....just, fuck. What to do about that $10M on the books next year. You can't even Frank Thomas the guy.

Damn you, Senator Mitchell. WHAT?!?!

Joanna said...

I saw Vernon do it once. I think two seasons ago. An ump made a call that was clearly wrong near the end of a game, Vernon took offence that the ump was basically making the call to speed the game along. Vernon yelled at him in the box. Yelled at him from the dugout. Vernon was flat out screaming at him and got his ass tossed from the game. It was a sight to see, boys.

eyebleaf said...

@ Schultz: I want Vernon to terrorize a Gatorade tub. Throw it onto the field, and shit.

@ Callum: BJ Birdie > Ace and > B.J. Ryan

@ The Ack: A Monday after losing three straight to the God damn Yankees in that little league park is the worst Monday of all. And, honestly, I'm surprised more steroid allegations aren't being thrown at Ryan and Wells. I hope it's just a coincidence, but the more both of them suck, the more the mind wanders towards syringes...

@ Joanna: Too bad MLB is all dictator-like when it comes to YouTube clips, otherwise we'd probably be able to watch Vernon's apparent meltodwn on the internetz. I don't recall said outburst, but I'd love to see version 2.0.

"Dave Schultz" said...

it should also be noted I voted for all those bishes.

jimmydoggit said...

Let's just keep BJ and Wells in the same place at all times and hope some natural disaster takes care of our problems!
I was thinking the top of the CN tower during a thunderstorm?

eyebleaf said...

@ Schultzy: You're a Jays fan. You were simply doing your duty.

@ Jimmy: I'm willing to put The Beej up there. But not my Vernon.

Ian H. said...

They talked about the Beej quite a bit on JaysTalk yesterday, and the callers & Wilner made some great points. I guess they have to keep throwing him out there, because they have him under contract till the end of 2010.

eyebleaf said...

I think Cito said he might only save him for blowouts. That works for me. I guess we don't have much choice, eh? Fuckery!

Down Goes Brown said...

Re: steroids.

I'm with you, I'm amazed more people don't bring this up with regards to Ryan. He was a power pitcher, now he suddenly has no power. He's Eric Gagne without the mini-fro.

jimmydoggit said...

@dgb hahahahaha I might forgive him if he had a mini-fro. We should teach Mike Commodore to play baseball.

eyebleaf said...

@ DGB: I think Ryan was wrongly labeled a power pitcher. I'm not sure he ever was one. I don't think he ever got up into the 90s. I think he just had great command, and hid the ball really well. What brings up the flags in my mind is the fact that he lost velocity after TJ surgery. That's usually not the case. Either way, he's garbage, and $12 million worth of dead weight. Brutal.

@ Jimmy: Everytime I think of Mike Commodore I think of those pictures of him on his bed, with all that cash, making it rain on himself. They are not pleasant thoughts.

jimmydoggit said...

@eyebleaf I'd pay good amounts of money for those pictures. I've got a terrible man crush on him.