April 11, 2010

Valuable Life Lessons

I'd tell you I'm not pitching a tremendous baseball boner excited over Toronto's 5-1 start to the season, and Vernon Wells' 1.450 OPS a week into the marathon that is the Major League Baseball season, because I learned a valuable lesson last season (27-14!!!1). But I'd be lying.

Before I go any further, let's take a minute and give thanks to the baseball Gods above for not making us Orioles fans. Always a pleasure, Baltimore.

Five wins in a row out of six to start the campaign. On the road. From a Doc-less rotation. Without, for the most part, the services of Aaron Hill. It's like a fairytale. Throw in four home runs from Alex Gonzalez, half his long ball total of 2009; flawless performances from Shawn Camp, Scott Downs, Dana Eveland, and Kevin Gregg; yeoman's work from Casey Janssen, Shaun Marcum, Ricky Romero and Brian Tallet; and, well, I'm feeling fantastic, without having had anything to drink.

It's early, sure. But it's never too early. Not for visions of grandeur. You know: a Cito sendoff worthy of "The Manager."

Why not us?

Difficult Choices

The sweep aside, it's been a rough weekend. I'm faced with a tough question, the answer to which escapes me. I need your help.

What Vernon Wells inspired sign should I take to Monday's home opener:

1. The tried, tested, and true "I Believe In Vernon Wells"?

2. With his scorching start, and his being a fantastic human being, I'm not sure how anyone could, but what do you think about "Don't Boo Vernon"?

3. Or the Volkswagen inspired "VW: Das Awesome"?

UPDATE: I'm going with "I Believe In Vernon Wells." Why? Because I'm lazy, and the sign's ready to go from last year. It only makes sense. And as much as I too love the "VW: Das Awesome" idea, it's far easier to scribble "Playoffs!!!1" on the back of what I've already got.


Ian H. said...

I've gotta say the original "I Believe In Vernon Wells". Maybe throw "VW: Das Awesome" on the back just in case!


Roy said...

My vote is for Das Awesome.

the one and only Baltimore Orioles fan who lives in Toronto said...

How about "Thanks for going 1 for 10 with four strikeouts against the Orioles."

QJays said...

Listen to your heart - and keep in mind you may need some signs for future games, whatever type of Vernon we may have by then.

Hope Tallet brings it tomorrow.

bkblades said...

I also vote for the tried and true "I believe..." fresh off the Olympics campaign. That being said, VW is also slightly subtle enough to garner laughs.

William said...

It wouldn't be eyeb without the "I believe..." would it?

Anonymous said...

No kudos to Frasor?

He's been shaky but still getting the job done for the most part.

Garrett Bauman said...

Why not give yourself some in-game options?

"I believe in Vernon Wells" on one side of the sign.

"VW: Das Awesome" on the other.


Escaped Lab Rat said...

The German option cracked me up, so that's what I'm going for.

If VW hits a HR tomorrow I will be stoked. Toronto needs this; the Leafs and Raps really stank it up, and TFC isn't off to a great start either.

looshV said...


Cadillac solution right there.

RF Alex Rios CHW

19 1 4 2

0 1 3 0

1 4 3 .211

.318 .474 .792

Everyone happy that salary isn't on the books?

looshV said...

I can't say that I follow footy but has TFC ever gotten off to a good start?

eyebleaf said...

Thanks for all the input, folks. Much appreciated.

@ The1&OnlyBaltimoreFanWhoLivesInToronto: How about "Baltimore: Where you can send your 4th and 5th starters, and de facto "ace," to the mound, get nothing from Vernon Wells, not play Aaron Hill, and still come away with a sweep." Yes. I like that.

@ Anonymous: The Sausage King's numbers are ghastly. It hasn't been pretty, but you're right, he's got the job done and bounced back after blowing game one.

@ Escaped: The game I went to last year accompanied with the sign was not a good one for Vernon. I believe he was 0-for. A HR would be nice.

@ LooshV: Poor Rios is going to hear it tomorrow night. It'll be nothing compared to what Burnett got, but I imagine we'll be hearing lots of "Who Gives A Fuck"'s. And, no, TFC has never gotten off to a good start. As in, it takes them a few games to score a goal, and then grab a win. There's only one Toronto team that gets off to a blazing start: Cito's Toronto Blue Jays.

looshV said...

I am going to laugh hysterically if I here "Who gives a fuck" shouted from various fans during his at bats.

I'm already laughing now!

Man I remember when you could hear Dave Steib cursing with zest from the mound during regular broadcasts,,,,and Chevy making the odd and sometimes funny/awkward comment. Good baseball times those were in Toronto, the broadcasts themselves were not as uptight and certainly less formal. I can remember a time when Chevrier was describing the prize that could be given out to a fan if the Jay at bit hit a Grand Slam, or something to that effect. It was a ghetto blaster and I don't remember the actual company that made it but they none the less referred to it as the "Super Woofer" . He followed that up with a laugh and said "I have a Woofer at home". It got even funnier as both him and Bernie; I think that's who it was, realized that the "Woofer" referred to could have actually meant one of TWO things. Just a candid moment in time inspired by the now immortalized "Who gives a fuck". He's already got his tombstone picked out, I'm sure of it.


looshV said...

Tony Kubek sorry, that's who the fuck it was. I'm not sure where I got Bernie from, perhaps he had a different sidekick later on, perhaps it's this B.C. bud.....

Night bro...

Mattt said...

If I see you and your sign I'll be sure to say hello...

eyebleaf said...

@ LooshV: Great story, brother, and good times.

@ Mattt: Section 210, my good man.