December 09, 2008

Deep Thoughts Vol. 16: Descent Into Madness...

Winter has arrived in Toronto. The kind of cold that chills you to the bone. And with it, the realization that as sports fans in this great, but frigid, city, our nuclear winter is upon us.

It's the perfect storm.

Think about it. 

The only team the Maple Leafs can beat these days is the New York Islanders. I don't know about you, but last night's match-up was pretty depressing. I had a hard time, uh, getting up for that one.

Jeremy Williams did bring some enjoyment, however. He did what he always does in his first game up from the AHL: score. On top of his goal, he made Jason Blake look pretty good too, and that is no easy task, my friends. 

Blake killed my Williams-induced buzz by fist-pumping away like a jackass, again. Because, you know, the battle for 12th place in the Eastern Conference is just a riot. Idiot.

The Leafs have won 10 of 28 games. Cliff Fletcher wasn't kidding - it's going to be a long, arduous winter. All I have to look forward to, albeit very grudgingly, is the return Brian Burke must inevitably fetch for Tomas Kaberle. I only pray that Burke finds Kabby a good home. 

I've come to the realization that if I can deal with Mats Sundin leaving, I can deal with anything. Even Tomas. But that doesn't mean he won't take a piece of my heart with him when he walks out that door.

Think about it.

The Toronto Blue Jays are in Las Vegas, at baseball's annual winter meetings, with nary a penny to spend. In Vegas, with no loot. Can you imagine a fate more unjust? No money for the tables, no money for the Rhino, and certainly no money for top-tier free agents. My heart aches simply thinking about it.

I'm not the only one losing sleep over the fate of the local nine (I love calling them that). I'm beginning to worry about The Tao of Stieb, for real.

A.J. Burnett? Yeah, we're still talking about him. Sign elsewhere already, man.

Rafael Furcal? It's possible. Although I still don't think Marco Scutaro at shortstop is what's wrong with the 2009 Blue Jays.

Just pray that J.P. Ricciardi does something. Anything. For sanity's sake. I mean, I'm not calling for a John Thomspon signing like The Tao, but at this point, I'm all for signing Carl Pavano. Yes, even Carl Pavano. Such are the times. Frugality rules the day.

Think about it.

The Toronto Raptors have lost four in a row, and seven of their last 10. They sit in the basement of the division which they won only two years ago. Three games back of the New Jersey Nets, and a half game behind the New York Knicks. Yes, even the supremely dysfunctional Knickerbockers are sporting a better record than our dinosaurs.

If the Raptors regressed last year, what the hell are they doing this year? Re-regressing? This is not the way Bryan Colangelo drew it up, that's for sure.

Chris Bosh and company are in Lebronland, to face the 17-3 Cavaliers, tonight. I'm putting the savings on the line pretty sure that Jay Triano is going to have to wait a little bit longer for that first win. Do the right thing, and cover the eyes of the children. They don't need to see this one.

Think about it.

Even the Buffalo Bills' season came to Toronto to die.

Brace yourselves, people. Stay warm. Stay sane. Good luck, and Godspeed. 


Bhattorious said...

When will our time arrive.....when will Toronto be the NV of the sports world....when will i be able to rasie my head in a sports environment and say...All my Toronto teams are better than yours....WHEN....30 years i`ve waited....and nothing....WHEN...Damn it...

40 said...

Love the Rhino shout out! Well done sir!

"Dave Schultz" said...

"fist pumping like a jackass" -- is your like of Jason Blake wearing off my friend?

and you know it goes without saying, I don't want Kabby to leave either. Unless he's leaving Toronto to come to my house...

Ian H. said...

I didn't see the game last night, but I can't believe Blake fist-pumped again. Well, I guess when your 3-point nights come every 6-8 months, it's something to cheer about.

Even if the Jays pick up somebody from the discount bin, that would make us all a little happier. Come on J.P. make SOMETHING happen. ANYTHING!

eyebleaf said...

@ Bhatti: Like you, I'm running out of patience. The Jays are going to suck in 2009 as well. All we have to look forward to is the draft.

@ 40: That was all for you, bro. I love how Spearmint Rhino has its own Wikipedia entry.

@ Schultzy: I like the guy, but his fist-pumpage drives me bat shit. And Kabby's mine!

@ Ian: Yeah, I guess you can't really blame the guy. It's rare as hell for him to score. That's two three-point games in a week. He must be on cloud nine. As for the Jays, it even looks like the discount bin is too expensive for us.

On The Fence Sports said...

Well, add another to the loss column. Losing to the Cavs isn't anything to be ashamed of but it wasn't even close after the half.

Someone in the locker room needs to stand up and make a stand right now before it really does become too late.

BC needs to think about making a deal too if things don't start to turn around for the Raptors.

I know they have had a pretty tough schedule but in my eyes, it just doesn't seem like the players want to play. I feel for Bosh right now, everyone is sending double and triple teams and it seems to be working very well.

On The Fence Sports

"Dave Schultz" said...

we can share kabby?

eyebleaf said...

@ On The Fence: The Raps season is slowly slipping away.

@ Schultzy: Yes. Yes we can.