January 07, 2009

The Raycrap Report Vol. 3: Dear Vesa Toskala,

No, Vesa, I didn't photoshop that picture. That is Andrew Raycroft making a glove save on Marty St. Louis. In a shootout, no less.

Raycroft won again last night, Vesa. No, I'm not fucking around. Check the box score, bro. That's seven wins for him this season. Yep, half as many as you have. And you've started 34 games compared to his nine.

You know what else? His 2.71 GAA blows your 3.27 out the frame. But fuck the goals against average. We all know it's the save percentage that really matters. Well, the news isn't good on that front either, my friend. Raycroft's sporting a .894 to your .885. Almost a full percentage point better than you.

No, Vesa, I don't want to hear it. I don't care if the Avalanche are scoring goals for him. In his last five games, Raycroft's allowed only 11 goals, and won them all. Where has that type of consistency been from you? Where, dammit?

This is tough for me, man. You have to know that. Here I am, the guy telling people not to boo Bryan McCabe, now comparing you to Andrew Raycroft, the one guy I hate with every fibre of my being.

You've let me down, Vesa. I've been one of your biggest supporters, and one of your ardent defenders. But how long can I carry on this charade? After 34 games this season with you between the pipes, I don't think I can say that you're a legitimate number one goalie. I'm sorry.

It makes me sick to my stomach that the Leafs are, once again, one of the worst defensive teams in the league. It makes me nauseous to see that the team is killing penalties at an absolutely unacceptable 73% success rate. As much as I complain about Ron Wilson not being able to change the defensive and penalty killing fortunes of this team, I know that a big part of those dastardly numbers are, well, weak goaltending. Like Will Smith said, "Yo fault."

Look, I'm not saying Raycroft is a number one goalie. Even my Dadima knows he's not. But I don't care how many more games you play than that rat bastard, your numbers, especially your save percentage, have to be better than his.

It's time to look in the mirror, my Finnish friend. If your groin is hurt, tell Ron Wilson you need some time, and let the God damn injury heal. There's no point trotting you out there every night if you're going to give us pathetic goaltending. I mean, we've got Curtis Joseph for that.

You were supposed to be one of the few bright spots on this team this season, Vesa. You were supposed to be one of our "assets." Half the season is in the books, and you're having the worst season of your career, bar none. It's time to start giving a damn.

With love,


blurr1974 said...

Iv Vesa were more like Raycroft, he'd have a winning percentage of +77%, meaning he'd have 26 wins...

boggles the mind at how crappy our goaltending has been. I'm thinking our goaltending coach is a bigger culprit than anything else.

good letter. i know vesa reads sports and the city (why wouldn't he!?) here's hoping this sinks in.

i'm gonna go have a good cry...

Lori said...

Poor Vesa. My favorite youtube video of all time is still when the announcer accidentally said "And it's Toskala, with the huuuug dick, mmffht uh, glove save!"

Not enough dick saves for you guys recently :(

wrap around curl said...

I am not fucking around; full on letter writing campaign to get Tokarski in Toronto. It has to happen. Let's make this shit viral.

eyebleaf said...

@ Blurr: Even though Raycrap's winning percentage is deceiving, it's still ridiculously fucked up. And, yes, a new goalie coach is change I can believe in. If Vesa turns it around, I will surely take credit. And a good cry always, always, helps.

@ Lori: Poor Vesa, indeed. I have not come across the video, but rest assured that I'm going to look for it. And, yes, not enough dick saves for us.

@ Wrap: You put Tokarski on the map. Now you must spearhead the charge to bring him to Toronto.

wrap around curl said...

I can't do it on my own babycakes. Gonna need a hand.

eyebleaf said...

I've got two!