January 09, 2009

The Raycrap Report Vol. 4: Is This Really Happening?

Is this all just a bad dream? Am I, perhaps, lost in the matrix? Is it really possible that Andrew Raycroft made 43 saves last night in a 2-1 victory over the Chicago Blackhawks, owners of the second most prolific offence in the Western Conference?

Forty-three saves. A career high.

Six wins in a row. Tying a career high.

Seriously, though, I cannot believe how Raycrap's fortunes have turned. Think about it; Andrew Raycroft, 8-1, with a .908 save percentage. It's insane. My worst nightmare - Raycroft picking up the shattered pieces of his pathetic career - is coming true right before my very eyes.

To make matters worse, Vesa Toskala's five-hole, much like a cheap, dirty hooker, was once again open for business last night. Vesa, who allowed five goals on 21 shots and was pulled after 40 minutes, is really buying into the whole "Show me your V" marketing campaign from Versus.

The Maple Leafs went into action last night with the league's lowest save percentage, coming in at 87.7%. After yesterday's debacle at the hands of the Canadiens, that number is going to, unfathomably, go even lower.

You know what? Raycroft and Toskala are both sucking the life, and the fun, out of this whole "Raycrap Report" thing.

If it were socially acceptable to have a drink in the morning, I'd probably pour myself one today.

Instead, I think I'm going to stick to the orange juice sans vodka and head to work.

Happy fucking Friday.


Lori said...

Maybe with that giant, dirty, gaping five hole Vesa can be demoted to ice girl.

showcase29 said...

Dude, I have Budaj and Vesa in the pool...


blurr1974 said...

The Toronto Maple Leafs. Where good goalies go to die...

There has to be more to it than just "the system" we play. Our goaltending coach is obviously sorely lacking in...well, everything.

I fear that if Pogge does come up, we'll ruin him, not for being a bad team in front of him, but for giving him all the wrong coaching tips.

Anonymous said...

What's even more shocking. Raycrap made 19 saves in the third period alone. I don't think he made 19 saves in a game with the Leafs.

Ian H. said...

I also have Toskala in my pool where save percentage and GAA are stats. I'm fucked.

Is is possible that Raycroft could get more wins that Toskala this year?

Q-girl said...

"If it were socially acceptable to have a drink in the morning"

I have no idea what you are talking about.

Sanjay said...

"..Vesa Toskala's five-hole, much like a cheap, dirty hooker, was once again open for business last night..."

Best. Line. Ever.

eyebleaf said...

@ Lori: if I've told you once, I've told you a million times: I love the way your brain functions. Toronto needs ice girls.

@ Showcase: Brother, you have Malkin, and you're in first place. So no complaining from you. But I'll trade you Khabibulin.

@ Blurr: I too am scared for Pogge.

@ 25th: Raycroft being clutch. The universe is turning upon itself.

@ Ian: "Fucked" is about right. And it is possible, and that's why I'm going to the local bar at 5:47 PM.

@ Q-Girl: I'd love to have a beer with you before noon.

@ Sanjay: Bunsology, your first comment on Sports And The City. You just made my day. Every day I'm Bunsslin.

wrap around curl said...

Mimosas= always socially acceptable.

It's called being classy.

eyebleaf said...

Wrap I don't think I've ever had a mimosa.

eyebleaf said...

Samosa's I've had. Plenty. But no mimosas.

showcase29 said...

raycroft is starting again tonight. FUCK

eyebleaf said...

If he beats Pittsburgh, Therrien is getting fired.

fantasybaseballmacbookpro said...

Yeah, kind of sad how Vesa is stinking it up between the pipes. I actually had some high hopes for him when he was acquired by the Leafs.

But things could be worse. At least Raycroft isn't going to lead the Avalanche to the promise land where he lifts the Cup over his head. Could that happen?? Wouldn't that just make you want to be buried alive.

showcase29 said...

7 in a row.